The Ritz is under New Management
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Good Omens, nor do I own the Ritz. But I do own the original characters (though I wish I didn't, they are annoying).
A/N: I have no idea what is on the menu at the Ritz.
Chapter 1: Welcome to the Ritz
"After you, my dear." Chimes Aziraphale with a grins as he holds the door open for his friend/enemy (a "frienemy", if you will), Crowley.
"Yeah, that's what I thought." Replies the demon, as he saunters through the entrance to their favourite restaurant, the Ritz. The angel's face keeps smiling, but Crowley could not help noticing a large blood vessel bulge on Aziraphale's forehead. "And uh, you might want to get that checked out." He says while giving it a poke.
Aziraphale slaps Crowley's hand away and walks past him. He stops abruptly and stares at the freak standing where the maître d'is supposed to be. "Who the he- who are you!"
"Yeah, and what happened to Martin?" Adds Crowley.
"Martin was fired." Replied the new guy. He is very young and has too many piercings to count. His cheap nametag reads "Hi-my-name-is-Blazer". Aziraphale twitches at the sight of him.
"But Martin has worked here for 42 years." Says Crowley with more sadness and longing than usual for a demon. Aziraphale glances at the ground with the same amount of feeling.
"We are under new management." Says Hi-my-name-is-Blazer while digging in his left ear with his pinky. Crowley and Aziraphale glance at each other. Neither wants to just leave, so with a slight flick of Crowley's wrist, their name appears on the list of reservations. "So do you dudes have a reservation?"
"Yes, we are Mr. Crowley and Mr. Fell." Says Crowley.
"How many people in your party?"
Crowley and Aziraphale exchange glances again. "Two." Snarls Crowley.
"Smoking or non-smoking?"
"Oh for heav- pe- someone's sake! This is a non-smoking establishment!" Shrieks Aziraphale, who until that point has been holding in his impatience.
Hi-my-name-is-Blazer sniffs and gives them a glance that seems to say either "I know that, someone is paying me to ask these questions." Or "Hey, at least my manatee doesn't owe pineapples to a shampoo bottle." However, both the angel and the demon interprets it as "Hey look! I can still breathe with 10 pounds of metal and gems drilled into my face!" They giggle at this thought while they follow Hi-my-name-is Blazer to a table.
"Excuse me, sir, but this isn't our usual table." Whines Aziraphale. Hi-my-name-is-Blazer blinks and walks away.
"Just sit down, Angel." Sighs Crowley.
End of Chapter 1