Writer: Azure K Mello
Title: A Bond Never Dies
Part: 17/?
Words: 493
Warnings: Angst. I am so mean to these boys.
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"James, please come back to me: I'm scared. Mrs. Thort thinks you're just resting but it seems like you're in a coma. I only just got you, barely. I can't lose you so soon. I need this, you. I love you. Do you hear me, you fucker? I love you and you can't leave me." Sirius whispered into James' hair. "I can't be happy without you here, I wouldn't want to be happy."
Suddenly the slighter boy sat bolt upright, his eyes wide and unseeing. "Sirius?" he asked softly upon finding the boy in his bed. Slowly he reached out and touched the boy to see if this was actually happing and not just in his head. As his hand met warm flesh he said, "Can we forget entirely about today?"
"What?"
"I don't love you. I'm sorry it was a tasteless joke and it backfired."
"What?"
"I never meant to hurt you." James' eyes held so much pain that Sirius wanted to scream.
"Bull."
"No, Honestly I would never-"
Breaking into James' words he said, "I know you wouldn't hurt me. That's not what I'm arguing with. You love me. I know you do. I could taste it when I kissed you. And it was me kissing you not some vision. It was me! So please don't say it was nothing, because it *was* something."
"Look," said James suddenly sounding cold and detached, "I'm giving you a way out here. Take it, Sigh, *please*." He couldn't look at the boy's face. It all hurt too much but he had to let Sirius go. He couldn't keep the boy knowing damn well that Sirius didn't mean it when he had said he love James.
"No I won't "take it". I can't. I freaked this morning but only because I was afraid of the hurt."
"I would never hurt you." James sounded disgusted at the very thought.
"I was afraid that I would hurt you. That I would some how bring you down to my level. And hell maybe I will, I don't ever want to hurt you. But all I've ever wanted was to be in your arms. I know you must think I'm sick, that I'm perverse."
"Sear! No, god, no. How can I think you're sick for wanting me? I love you. I. . . god, if you're sick I'm terminal. Please, you won't hurt me I promise. The only thing that could hurt would be to lose you."
James laid back down against his friend. "You won't ever lose me." Sirius stroked James tentatively. "How could you lose me? We're bonded."
The statement made James' stomach clench and he remembered his visions of Sirius only keeping him so that he could survive, pitying James, taking care of him, never loving him but saying it so that Potter wouldn't leave. The idea's made his head hurt and power strummed within him as he curled into Sirius' touch. "But if we weren't?"
Title: A Bond Never Dies
Part: 17/?
Words: 493
Warnings: Angst. I am so mean to these boys.
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"James, please come back to me: I'm scared. Mrs. Thort thinks you're just resting but it seems like you're in a coma. I only just got you, barely. I can't lose you so soon. I need this, you. I love you. Do you hear me, you fucker? I love you and you can't leave me." Sirius whispered into James' hair. "I can't be happy without you here, I wouldn't want to be happy."
Suddenly the slighter boy sat bolt upright, his eyes wide and unseeing. "Sirius?" he asked softly upon finding the boy in his bed. Slowly he reached out and touched the boy to see if this was actually happing and not just in his head. As his hand met warm flesh he said, "Can we forget entirely about today?"
"What?"
"I don't love you. I'm sorry it was a tasteless joke and it backfired."
"What?"
"I never meant to hurt you." James' eyes held so much pain that Sirius wanted to scream.
"Bull."
"No, Honestly I would never-"
Breaking into James' words he said, "I know you wouldn't hurt me. That's not what I'm arguing with. You love me. I know you do. I could taste it when I kissed you. And it was me kissing you not some vision. It was me! So please don't say it was nothing, because it *was* something."
"Look," said James suddenly sounding cold and detached, "I'm giving you a way out here. Take it, Sigh, *please*." He couldn't look at the boy's face. It all hurt too much but he had to let Sirius go. He couldn't keep the boy knowing damn well that Sirius didn't mean it when he had said he love James.
"No I won't "take it". I can't. I freaked this morning but only because I was afraid of the hurt."
"I would never hurt you." James sounded disgusted at the very thought.
"I was afraid that I would hurt you. That I would some how bring you down to my level. And hell maybe I will, I don't ever want to hurt you. But all I've ever wanted was to be in your arms. I know you must think I'm sick, that I'm perverse."
"Sear! No, god, no. How can I think you're sick for wanting me? I love you. I. . . god, if you're sick I'm terminal. Please, you won't hurt me I promise. The only thing that could hurt would be to lose you."
James laid back down against his friend. "You won't ever lose me." Sirius stroked James tentatively. "How could you lose me? We're bonded."
The statement made James' stomach clench and he remembered his visions of Sirius only keeping him so that he could survive, pitying James, taking care of him, never loving him but saying it so that Potter wouldn't leave. The idea's made his head hurt and power strummed within him as he curled into Sirius' touch. "But if we weren't?"