Ok first and foremost before reading this chapter, I would like to tell everybody that this is NOT the LAST CHAPTER for some reasons that I will specify later on. Now….on with this chapter…

My façade.

Chapter Four.

In a world so cracked and broken, no one can undo the mistakes in life….including me… If I was given a chance I would turn back time to find that sole happiness….to let my mask crumble to the floor in broken shards…to express my feelings to Neji and not stand by his side eternally, silent, unseen but there. It was a timeless regret. But like the hourglass, the sand keeps on falling filling the void till the sand itself runs low. My life as I know, is almost at its end. Maybe….. I'm nearing the finishing line.

A sigh escaped my lips. Ironic isn't it, to find yourself building a wall around you just to keep the sorrow out only to find out later that it's keeping out the joy too. I let out a sad laugh. My eyes are so clouded that I cannot see... even though the truth was always within myself. Who knew that I would finally come to this conclusion during my last days on earth.

A soft breeze swept past me, the leaves in the trees rustling in the background, the grass swaying gently in the cold evening air. I stared at the monument in front of me, reading each name of the fallen villagers and shinobi that was engraved on the huge stone. I'd always come here…to think…to clear my mind…especially when I'm sad and somber. The monument was a constant reminder for me that sorrow is like a fruit and god doesn't make it grow on limbs too weak to bear it. That was one of the reasons I created this façade in the first place. It was to make me stronger not weaker.

But I was wrong…it only proved the fact that I was weak….too weak to accept the reality…the truth of my sad state. And now it's too late to undo this….

I felt a lingering presence behind me, waiting for me to acknowledge his company. I turned around to find the person I least expected to see there. " How long were you there?"

" Long enough," he grinned sheepishly, his right hand rubbing the back of his neck. He walked over to my side and together we gazed at the monument in comfortable silence.

" I thought you would be at the engagement party," I said finally, my eyes still on the monument. Today…today was the day of Neji's engagement party.

I felt him shrug. " I wanted to come here first."

" Why?" I asked him.

He ignored my question, still gazing intently at the monument in front of us. His sparkly blue eyes were now dull, his face contorted with pain and sorrow, a feeling I know too well. After a few more moments of silence, he turned towards me, asking me a question that no one has ever asked me before. " Why are you here, Tenten-chan?"

" I-I ……don't know," I answered.

" No…you do know… Why?" he persisted.

My hand reached out for the monument in front of me, feeling the cold stone beneath my fingers. I took my time, tracing the names carved on the stone one by one with my fingertips. " Do you really want to know, Naruto-chan?"

" Yes… I do," he whispered, eyeing each of the names that I was fingering.

" I'm an orphan, Naruto-chan, like you. I come home everyday, to find nobody waiting for me… You know what saddens me the most?" I asked but didn't wait for his answer. I pulled back my hand and returned it back to my side.

" It saddens me that I could never say these two words, I'm home, everytime I returned back to my apartment..." I sighed, the dam on my emotions broken as all my feelings flood over me. "It saddens me that I don't have any family…." I continued. "It even saddens me that I don't know a single thing of my family history or the fact that I don't have a single grave to visit." My voice already slightly raised.

"So that's why I come here…." The tone of my voice is now lowered considerably. "I come here because this is the closest thing to a grave. In the back of my mind, I always knew that one of them is my family. So I come here almost everyday….to pray for them…to talk to them….to just feel accepted…." My voice was now in a whisper, my eyes burning with the sorrow that threatened to spill out. My hands which stood limply at my sides, were now clenched tightly in a fist, trying to keep my emotions in tact.

" I'm sorry….I didn't know. We all didn't know," regret filled his voice. " Do you want to know why I too come here?" I nodded slowly, waiting for his answer. " To seek solace…. "

" Solace…" I repeated softly.

" Yes… The kyuubi's trapped within my body. That means I'm probably the reason that you don't have a family and the reason there is a monument in the first place. So I come here often to pray for forgiveness…to try and make things right again… Even though the villagers have come to accept me, I still feel guilty… I know that I have to live with this burden for the rest of my life." I met Naruto's gaze. His face full of remorse. " I'm so sorry Tenten…It's because of me.."

" No.. it isn't Naruto. I'd never blame you. You are you….kyuubi is kyuubi. I'd never blame you for the wrong that Kyuubi had done. You and I…we're both the same. Nobody…nobody will ever know how we feel…nobody.."

" You're wrong…Kakashi sensei…he's just like us. I see him come here every morning, bringing the exact same flowers…Visiting his past… That was the reason for him arriving late for training everyday," Naruto laughed bitterly. " But I still acted the same around him anyway…I would always yell at him for being late. At times, I wanted to just tell him that I knew but the amusement etched on his face every morning at my ethics made me think other wise. He could have told us…he could have told me…you could have told me…Maybe then I wouldn't feel so lonely."

" Gomen ne, Naruto-chan. I didn't know either." I stared back at the monument, Naruto's statement running through my mind. " Kakashi sensei…is like us.."

" Kakashi sensei…arigato gozaimasu but I don't need your help for this mission." I said, my Anbu mask covering my face, my uniform tattered from my last mission, my wounds visible to the naked eye. I could see Kakashi sensei hesitate. " It's only a B class mission. An escort mission to be exact. I could handle this on my own. Don't worry."

" I'm sorry but the hokage gave me strict orders to take care of you." He explained, doubt clearly visible in his silver eye.

I forced a heart felt laughter. " Ever since when were you one to follow orders Kakashi sensei? Besides I'm ANBU. This mission is something that I can definitely be able to handle on my own," I was only met with his silence. I sighed. "…Don't worry I'll tell Tsunade-sama that it was my decision. I promise that I'll take all the blame."

I felt his eye examine me, scanning my whole body. I stood rigid. Does he know? Does he know that my previous wounds hasn't healed yet? I waited in nervous anticipation for his words." Tenten…., Why do you work so hard? You've already gone on 15 missions in this past week alone."

I smiled. Yes….why do I work so hard? Even I wanted to know?

" Kakashi sensei, one lives in hope of becoming a memory," I stated, giving him my reply. I saw a flicker of sadness pass through his eye. But, I'm not sure, as quickly as it came it was gone.

I gave him a bow and turned to walk away to meet the person I had to escort. " Take off that mask, Tenten,"

" Aaaah….yeah…I'm sure he'd be wondering why an ANBU is going to escort him to his village if I had this mask on…. and I think I should change my clothes too. Thanks for reminding me, sensei," I said, still walking towards my destination, not stopping to look back at him.

" You know that's not what I meant, Tenten," he whispered but loud enough for me to hear. I stopped in my tracks to look back at him, my eyes shone with sheer confusion. What did he mean by that? I wanted to ask but he had already walked off and his back was all I see.

"So that was what he meant…" I muttered softly, touching my face with both hands. Should I take off this mask for everyone to see? Should I?

" Tenten-chan…Tenten-chan…." I returned back to reality and gave a reassuring smile to Naruto who peered at my face in concern.

" Gomen ne, Naruto-chan. I was just thinking,"

" Sou ka…" He stared at me, unsure of what he should say next or do. " Maybe I should go to the engagement party now. It's about to start." Naruto looked at me with uncertainty but nodded and walked off in the direction of the Hyuuga household. However, I didn't notice that he stopped and turned back to look at me with those sapphire orbs.

A gust of wind blew past me, I inclined my head to look at the sky. Dark clouds were seen signifying that it was going to rain soon. " Tenten…..If I were you I'd attend the occasion even if I wasn't invited," I heard Naruto say from afar. I closed my eyes, feeling the breeze on my face.

" You knew…"

" Yes…I overheard the conversation you had with obaachan," he said his voice as distant as ever. I didn't reply his answer. " Have you found your savior yet?"

" My savior.." I repeated. He pulled out a small post-card sized photo out of his pocket and held it in front of me. I opened my eyes. It was the short confession that I had written in hopes of being saved. I reached for it, but as soon as I grasped it, it slipped through my fingers, the image fluttering away, carried by the wind.

Naruto made an attempt to retrieve it back but I held his shoulder firmly, telling him not to catch it. Instead, we watched that very photo, flutter away in the darkness till it was not to be seen.

" Yes…" I said, my voice barely audible. " I'm going to meet my savior soon…"

" Tenten…" Naruto said, unaware that I had answered his question. " We're all going to miss you…" I smiled softly at Naruto and gave him a small hug. Maybe, I won't be forgotten after all…

" We're here," I heard Naruto say. I stopped abruptly, eyeing the Hyuuga household in front of me. It looked grand with the decorations and lighting strewn around the compound, a bright contrast to the darkness. I could hear laughter coming from indoors. The whole village seems to be there, celebrating the event.

" Everyone seems so happy," I murmured to no one in particular. Unaware that Naruto had made his way across the road to the entrance of the household.

Naruto turned around to face me. " Tenten…..Aren't you coming?" Naruto asked me with a hint of confusion as he realised that I wasn't by his side and still standing at the other side of the road.

I hesitated. " I…..I need time….I just don't know. I-I…." I stared at the distance between us divided by the dirt road.

" Don't worry… I get it. Take your time, Tenten…. I'll be waiting. We'll all be waiting," Naruto nodded understandably. He looked at me one last time before he dissapeared into the grand house.

What's the matter with me…..For some reason, I can't seem to cross the road to get to the other side…. I just can't. This road resembles a bridge, an obstacle that I needed to overcome in my life. Like other obstacles, I'd run away from it but I know that I can do that no more. I have to face it head on. I have to. …I must at least try.

I took a step, feeling the hard ground beneath my wooden sandals, and another, and another. I was doing it. I could feel my heart flutter in excitement. The first step was always the hardest but now I'm nearing to the other side already….I'm going to make it.

Drip…

I felt a wet substance on my cheek. I touched the liquid with my finger and inclined my head to the sky. I realised that it was raining. The weather, growing heavier by the second. The clouds looking oppressive and gloomy.

Why?…why is the heavens crying?

I reached out to touch the raindrops but could not feel anything. My hand felt numb. Maybe it was because of the cold weather. Instead, I watched the drops of water fall onto my opened palm.

I ignored my current drenched state. I didn't care…All I wanted was to get to the other side. To finally be able to overcome an obstacle in my life. I withdrew my hand and took another step and another till I was only one more step to the other side. But as I attempted to take that last walk, I felt immense pain in my chest, my sight becoming hazy and unfocused.

I looked down to my chest and other parts of my body and saw blood soaked through my clothes. I cursed inwardly. My old and current wounds had reopened by itself. Instead of focusing on my wounds, I stared at the distance I had to go to the other side. So close yet so far. I laughed bitterly. I felt weaker and weaker by the second and for a few moments, I watched the rain fall to the ground, thus, creating puddles of water. Suddenly, like the rain I too fell down to the ground but created my own puddle of blood.

" I see….the heavens were crying for me," I thought as I faded into vivid darkness. The rain pelting heavier than before.

Ok…I would like to apologise for my really late update. You see I am working a part-time job so it really is hard for me to write. This is not the last chapter. I repeat this is NOT the LAST CHAPTER.

You see…I decided to post what I got for now and this is only a quarter of my supposedly last chapter. I figure that it would take forever for me to finish it….so I should just satisfy my readers with what I have now. So I'd like to apologise again for the delay and please wait for the next chapter. I swear that I'll go out with a bang. What I have in store for the next chapter is very surprising and no one will be able to figure it out. So please wait.

I would like to thanks everyone for reviewing and reading it cause it takes up time and effort. Thanks again and sorry for the delay. Oh and what do you think of this chapter? Please tell me when you review.

naash