Disclaimer: I do not own Good Omens or the Ritz. I do own the original characters (I would put them on sale, but then again, I might need them later on).

Chapter 3: Meeting the Manager

Crowley goes through the flapping double doors that lead into the kitchen. He grabs a greasy, tattooed man (presumably the cook) and shouts a long jumble of cusswords and insults with the phrase "I demand to ssspeak to your manager!" at the end.

"Yes, that would be me." Says a deep voice behind Crowley. Crowley whips around to see the thin, ugly, frame of Hastur trying to look some-what professional by wearing an ill-fitting, cheap suit.

Crowley stands with his mouth agape. He unconsciously lets go of the cook who immediately falls backwards into Aziraphale. If this were a normal occasion, Aziraphale would have helped him up; however the angel is too busy being surprised by Crowley's reaction to this random, thin, ugly, frame of a guy trying to look some-what professional by wearing an ill-fitting, cheap suit. Aziraphale pushes the cook aside and asks nervously "Do you two know each other?"

"Ngk." Responds Crowley.

"Now, now, aren't you going to introduce me to your acquaintance?" Chides Aziraphale.

"Nngaaaah" Squeaks Crowley in a pitch so high that one would think he was a housewife from the 1950's that has just seen a mouse in her spotless kitchen. "Ok, calm down, and be cool." Mutters Crowley to himself. He runs his hands through his jet black hair and pushes up his sunglasses.

"Mr. Fell, this is an old buddy…" Crowley feels his stomach tying into a knot on that last word. He adjusts his sunglasses again and squints at Hastur's nametag. It said "Mr. Hasture". He rolled his eyes. Demons are not generally creative, but that is just pathetic. "…my old buddy Mr. Hasture. Mr. Hasture, Mr. Fell owns a book store."

Hastur(e) and Aziraphale shake hands. "A book store? Well maybe I should stop by someti-"

"One that specializes in bibles." Interrupts Crowley.

"Then again, I am a very busy man." Continues Hastur(e) uneasily.

"And so am I." Responds Aziraphale with the same amount of wariness.

"Well we took up a lot of your time today, so we're just gonna go now…" Says Crowley while nudging Aziraphale towards the door.

"Ok" Replies Hastur(e).

"Really?"

"Really what?"

"We can go?"

"Uh, yeah."

"That's it? There's no ca-"

"LEAVE ALREADY!"

With that, the angel and the demon exit the Ritz and never went back there again. Which is exactly what Hastur(e) wanted.

xoxoxo THE END xoxoxo