Chapter 18 - Gifts
The next morning Harry was sitting at breakfast with his friends and reading over his new schedule. He hadn't seen it yet because his Uncle had made arrangements with Sir Stanton to stop any owls from coming to Privet Dr. Much to his dismay he discovered that he had double potions first thing this morning. He didn't know how he felt about Snape anymore, he was really confused about his whole relationship with him. He did know that he didn't want to have to sit in his classroom for three hours though.
"Harry you haven't eaten anything yet and I know you don't want to be late for your first class," Hermione admonished.
Harry grabbed a piece of toast and took a few bites until Hermione stopped looking at him. Then he set the bread back down on the table. His stomach was so sore lately that he couldn't think about eating more than a few bites at a time. He knew he should go see Madame Pomfrey but didn't want her to see all the cuts and bruises on his back.
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Snape was in his office collecting all the items he would need for the first class. He knew Harry would be there and he could finally get a good look at the boy. He still wasn't sure what the reaction would be from the Gryffindor when he saw him today.
Snape took a deep breath and swept into the classroom with his usual scowl plastered on his face. He looked around and spotted Harry sitting at the back of the room looking down at his hands.
"Today we will be working on the invisibility potion," Snape said as he watched Harry's head shoot up and stare at him. It took everything Snape had to remain calm after seeing the boy's face for the first time since he returned from the Dursleys. He was shocked at the dark circles and pale skin, not to mention the weight loss as well.
"It is usually illegal for students to attempt this potion but I have received special clearance for you to make it. Suffice it to say, there-will- not-be-any-mistakes-made!" He said the last in very clipped tones while he looked at Longbottom. He was still amazed the idiot boy had scored well enough on his owls to make it into advanced potions.
He looked back over at Harry and the teen quickly looked away. What pained Snape most to see was the look in the boy's eyes. Those eyes had reflected all the pain he must have gone through at the hands of his Uncle. Maybe other people couldn't see it because they hadn't looked into Vernon's memories but he saw it clear as day.
"In your books you will find a simple potion for making warts disappear. We will add several new ingredients to this and it will become the invisibility potion. Open your books to page 286." Snape began walking through the rows of tables and stopped before Harry's.
"Where is your book, Mr. Potter?" Snape stepped closer and watched the boy run a finger along the inside of his frayed shirt collar.
"Erm, I-I don't have my books yet sir," Harry quietly answered, not making eye contact with the Professor.
"Hmm, well I have an extra book you could borrow for today. Do you have plans to get your supplies anytime soon?"
Harry shook his head. A few Slytherins at the next table snickered and Harry looked at his hands once more. He had totally forgotten about getting his supplies until he was on the train. Not that the Dursley's would of taken him anyway.
"See me in my office after your last class and we will take care of that," Snape turned on his heel and glared at the students who had snickered at Harry.
Malfoy grabbed a handful of scalefish eggs and threw them at Harry. Harry flicked his wand just in time and cast a repelling shield. The fish eggs hit the shield and bounced back hitting Malfoy in the face. Snape whipped around just in time to see the Slytherin covered in fish eggs and Harry looking guilty. He quickly assessed the scene before him and turned back around ignoring the incident completely. He knew Harry could take care of himself against Malfoy and he didn't want to come across as impartial to either boy.
Malfoy grabbed his wand and Harry clutched his tighter. Both boys hissed out spells at the same time. Malfoy was hit and immediately covered in bogeys. Harry had been hit with a body blasting spell in the ribs and flew sideways smacking his head into the table next to him. Harry scrambled up just as Snape came storming back to their tables.
"What just occurred, Mr. Potter?" Snape glared from one boy to the next.
"Nothing Sir, I just slipped off my chair," Harry said as he rubbed the stinging spot on his side.
Snape looked at Malfoy covered in fish eggs and goo and back at Harry. He saw a cut above Harry's eye bleeding down the boy's face and said, "Potter get over to the infirmary."
Harry panicked at the thought of Poppy finding out about his cuts and bruises and pushed his fingers against the cut to stop the blood flow.
"Sir, can't you just fix it? I-I don't want to miss out on this potion."
"Fine, but if this childish behaviour does not cease you will both be hand washing the cauldrons all month long. Do I make myself clear?"
Harry nodded and quietly said, "Yes sir." Malfoy gave the professor a smirk and rolled his eyes.
Snape came back a moment later with a cloth and healing balm. He roughly grabbed Harry's hair and tilted the boy's head back and wiped away the blood. Harry's eyes darted up looking straight into the professor's eyes. Snape froze.
He didn't mean for it to happen but suddenly he found himself probing Harry's thoughts and saw a flash of Dursley coming at Harry with a knife. He suddenly stepped back releasing the boy and watched as Harry grabbed hold of the table for balance.
Harry knew something just took place between himself and the professor but wasn't certain as to what it was.
Snape composed himself and pushed down his anger at Dursley so Harry wouldn't think he was angry at him instead. He stepped towards the boy once again but couldn't shake the thought of Dursley and the knife.
Harry looked at the professor with confusion and a bit of fear and mumbled out, "It's okay Professor, I can do the rest." Harry stuck his finger in the healing balm and wiped it over the cut. The cut stopped bleeding and slowly began to heal. He capped the healing balm and handed it back to the Professor.
Snape took it and said, "I'll see you after classes Mr. Potter." He quickly turned and strode away so Harry wouldn't see his hands shaking.
Harry didn't know what to think. He felt nervous knowing that he would be spending so much time with the professor and would have to hide all that had happened to him since he last saw him. But he actually looked forward to being with the Professor again. Whenever he was with Snape he didn't feel like he was so alone in the world. The Professor actually watched out for him and made him feel like he had a parent, even if it was just temporary, it would still feel nice.
The rest of the day went alright. Several students wanted him to autograph the recent article in Witch Teen Magazine and unless Ron or Hermione were there to tell them no, then Harry just gave it to them. He hated it and felt really stupid doing it but didn't know how to tell them no. Every once in a while he would hear people whisper about what he went through this summer. That picture of him in the hospital after Snape saved him had been published, so there wasn't any chance of him denying what happened to him, not that he would admit to it either.
His teachers all gave him 'that look' of pity he hated and he tried to sit in the back for all his classes. The teacher he hated seeing more than any other was McGonagall. She always gave him 'the look' and it really started getting on Harry's nerves. It made him feel more self conscience and guilty over what had happened to him this past summer.
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After his last class Ron and Hermione walked him down to Snape's office in the dungeons. They were asking Harry about his stay at Snape Manor over the summer. They were surprised to hear about how Snape decorated Harry's room for him in Gryffindor colors. Hermione began to feel a little less uncomfortable about Harry going into town alone with the Professor. Maybe Snape really did care for Harry, as Mrs. Weasley assured her he had this past summer.
"Well Harry, it sounds like Professor Snape has really changed," Hermione said with encouragement.
"Yeah and he actually bought you all that stuff? He doesn't sound like the same greasy git from last year, although he certainly looks like the same greasy git," Ron said with a laugh.
"Ron he's not the same and you know something? Neither am I. I didn't ask for all this to happen, it just did," Harry didn't know how he was feeling about Professor Snape anymore but he didn't want to hear his best friend trash him after all Snape had done this past summer.
Ron's face turned slightly red and he said, "Its okay Harry, I didn't mean anything by it."
"Well then don't say it anymore," Harry said with anger. During the summer he had really looked forward to the adoption taking place and just because Snape changed his mind didn't mean that Harry lost all his feelings for the teacher.
When they reached Professor Snape's office door, Ron and Hermione said good bye and began to leave. Snape's door opened and they all looked up at the Professor.
"Thank you for escorting Mr. Potter," Snape said sincerely with a quick look at Harry. The last thing he wanted was for Harry to be walking around the dungeons by himself. Snape knew the Slytherins better than anyone and didn't trust them, especially after what Minerva told him yesterday.
Ron and Hermione just stared at the Professor, very surprised that he had actually thanked them.
Hermione snapped out of it first and said, "Your welcome. Harry is very special to us and … we don't want him to be hurt... in any way." Hermione said it very pointedly as she looked the professor in the eye.
The look was not lost on Snape, he knew exactly what the girl was saying to him. She really meant that comment for him and was telling him that Harry's friends would be watching him. Hmm, Bravo! He would have to figure out a way to award Gryffindor ten points for bravery.
Snape lead Harry into his office and closed the door. Harry kept his back to the professor and stood next to the desk. Snape came and stood next to him, not sure what to say.
"So how was the train ride?" Snape asked watching as the young Gryffindor continued to look down.
"Okay I guess."
"I heard there was an incident with Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Crabbe. Do you wish to discuss that?"
Harry shook his head. The last thing he wanted to do was talk about that.
"Harry, I want to hear what happened from you," Snape said in a firm tone.
"I guess I bumped into Malfoy and he just started saying stuff and Crabbe joined along as usual."
"It would be to your advantage to ignore them in the future and not succumb to their inanity."
"Well, that sounds brilliant, but it hardly works when your being forced to stay."
"Forced?"
Harry shrugged . "It doesn't matter."
"It matters to me Mr. Potter. I think you've been through enough without having to deal with idiotic people who use force to get their way. I'll speak to them when we get back."
"No! I-I mean please don't. I can take care of it myself and Malfoy and Crabbe will just tell everyone what you did. So please don't, okay sir?"
Snape placed a hand on Harry's shoulder.
Harry stiffened and his heart raced.
"Calm down Potter, I'm not going to hurt you again."
"I know," Harry whispered.
"Do you? Do you really know that and believe it?" Snape wanted to make sure Harry wasn't frightened of him.
"Um, yes sir, I guess I do," Harry said still a little unsure.
"Don't worry Harry, I'll make sure you actually believe that someday. Now let's get some shopping done shall we?"
"You-you don't have to do this. I-I can ask Hagrid to take me this weekend," Harry said quietly still looking down and standing stiffly.
"No, I told you once before that you are now my responsibility and I will provide you with your necessities. Suffice it to say I still remain your legal guardian, at least in the Wizarding World that is."
"But … I-I thought you didn't, you know … want me anymore," Harry said quietly.
Snape grabbed the boy's shoulders and spun him around so they were facing each other. Harry tried to pull away and had a look of utter terror in his eyes. Snape quickly took a few steps back letting go of the boy's shoulders.
Oh Merlin, I have got to take this slow! The boy has been damaged worse then the last time. Snape sat down and looked up at Harry until the boy finally looked into the Professor's eyes.
"I won't hurt you. You must trust that I will not hurt you. I know I did in the past but I was under a terrible curse inflicted by my Aunt . The curse is gone now and I will make a promise to you that I will not hurt you ever again," Severus said as he placed a hand on his heart while he looked into Harry's eyes.
Harry wanted to believe him more than anything else in this world but he had heard those words come out of the Professor's mouth before and then been hurt again. Harry stepped back away from the Professor and made his way to the door.
"I'm sorry Professor, I've heard that from you before and it isn't true. I know you want it to be true but it isn't. The truth of the matter is that Uncle Vernon said there was something evil inside me since the day I was born. At first I didn't believe him but then I thought of everything and you know it all started to make sense. So don't worry, it's not your fault or anything, it's just that… I don't want the adoption anymore either."
Harry said all this with such conviction that it took the Professor a moment to realize the boy truly believed it. His heart sank. The Professor stood up and took a few steps towards Harry. He stopped when he saw the boy step back too. What do I say, how do I fix this?
"Your Uncle is a terrible excuse for a parent and you shouldn't believe a word that comes out of his foul mouth. As far as there being something evil inside you, that is the most horrendous thing I can imagine telling a child. It is not true Mr. Potter!" Snape said a little too vehemently as Harry grabbed for the door knob.
"You can think whatever you want sir but Uncle Vernon is the only person ever to be truthful with me. He may be terrible as you say but he is trying to teach me to be better," Harry said as he turned the knob and walked out into the hallway.
Snape went after him, "Potter come back here now!"
Harry immediately stopped and turned back to face the Professor.
"You cannot walk away from here with those lies plaguing your mind. I won't stand for it!" Snape was so angry at the mental abuse the child had been put through. How could a person who did nothing but sacrifice himself have those thoughts running through his mind.
Harry continued to stand in front of the professor. Back at home he would have to be 'excused' before walking away from his Uncle so he didn't even try to leave. He felt like he might vomit at any moment and was hoping it wouldn't happen in the dungeons with nothing but Slytherins watching now.
Snape watched as the boy looked down at his shoes again. "Look at me when I am addressing you Mr. Potter. You must stop looking down all the time!"
Harry looked up into the Professor's angry glare. Oh no. Its happening again, just like Uncle Vernon said it would.
A handful of the Slytherins stopped to watch. Snape didn't notice as he was watching the boy so intently.
"I do not know how we are going to undo the damage that has been done to you but I will not stand for you to have those thoughts. Your uncle is no better than Voldemort and you have no business listening to his advice," Snape said as he tried to control his voice.
Harry looked around at the Slytherin's watching, now completely humiliated. "Professor could I please be excused?"
Snape suddenly realized they were not alone and berated himself for saying anything in front of others.
"Yes, you may go Harry."
Harry heard snickers from the bystanders as he ran up the stairs. He headed to his dorm and flung himself into the washroom just in time before he lost the little food that was in him. He sat on the bathroom floor with his face in his hands as a few tears escaped his eyes. It had hurt so much to say that he didn't want to be adopted any longer. He knew that everyone he got close to would eventually get hurt or die. The curse that Vespa gave Snape was just the beginning of bad things to come for the professor if he continued with the adoption. Harry knew that Voldemort was angry at Snape and the Ministry didn't seem too happy with him either. The last thing he wanted to do was to put the Professor into more danger.
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After a fitful rough night Harry woke up to the guys yelling and cheering about something. Harry opened the curtain on his bed and looked out at all his friends surrounding something on the table.
"What's going on?" He asked Ron.
"Harry get over here quick! Look! The card says your name on it!" Ron yelled enthusiastically.
Harry jumped out of bed and headed over to the table. Laying on top was a brand new Firebolt 5000! He quickly grabbed for the card and read it to himself.
Dear Mr. Potter,
Please be ready to leave at noon today. We will be going to Diagon Alley for your much needed supplies.
Snape
Do not worry about missed classes, I have already spoken with your teachers.
Harry had a lump in his throat and he was feeling overwhelmed. He had thought after last nights conversation that Snape would give up this whole adoption idea and just forget about last summer. He was so torn between doing the right thing and ending this adoption or doing something that would change his own life for the better, at the cost of hurting someone else.
He went to his trunk to get his clothes and discovered all the new clothes Snape had bought him over the summer laying inside. All of his old clothes were gone and there was another note from Snape.
Harry,
I purchased more pajamas for you. Please do not give them to the house elves.
Severus
Harry laughed at that and got dressed in his handmade uniform that was a now a few sizes too big. Ron took one look at him and whistled.
"Is that Harry Potter or Draco Malfoy in those fine clothes," Ron teased.
"Shut it Ron," Harry smiled.
"Another gift from the Professor?" Ron asked a little too caustically.
"Yeah, I guess he got tired of seeing me in hand me downs," Harry said but seeing the look of pain on Ron's face made him wish he hadn't said that. Ron always wore hand me downs and had hardly ever got something that hadn't once been worn by one of his brothers. Oops!
Harry made his way down to the Great Hall for breakfast but didn't touch a thing when he got there. His stomach was once again acting up. Unbeknownst to him Professor Snape was watching him as he pretended to eat.
He didn't know how he made it through his morning classes because his stomach was doing somersaults and his head was spinning the entire time. Whatever flu bug this was he hoped it would end soon. Every time he thought of Severus he would feel a slight panic arise. How was he ever going hide his injuries from the man?
At 12:00, Harry, Ron, Hermione and Neville were sitting on the grass in front of the castle talking about Professor Flitwick's assignment. Suddenly a dark shadow was cast across the group.
"So Mr. Potter are you ready for a day in Diagon Alley?" Snape said as he watched the expressions on the group of teens before him. Longbottom had a look of terror while Grainger looked up approvingly.
"Erm, Professor?" Harry asked as he gathered his cloak and tie off the grass and stood up.
"Yes Mr. Potter?"
"I just wanted to thank you for the Firebolt. You didn't have to get me that and I know it was all my fault that I broke the last one and I really don't deserve a new one. It costs way too much and after what I did I don't think I should have it," Harry said in a rush with true sincerity.
"Mr. Potter, I will decide how I spend my money and I will decide what gifts you are worthy of. Do not question my judgment on such matters." The nerve of the boy.
"Yes sir, but it's just that I don't think I should take it unless I earn it," Harry said as he tried to ignore Ron's gasp.
Hmm, the boy did have a point. It wouldn't due to throw gifts at the boy and overindulge him for no reason. Maybe he could make this situation work to his advantage in helping Harry face the issue of abuse.
"Well, if you truly feel that way then you may come down to my labs after supper and help refill the school stocks this week. I will try to come up with a few more chores for you to do."
"I could do a lot more than that. I could clean the lab for you. At the Dursley's I had to clean the house from top to bottom, so I have a lot of experience with that," Harry said as he tried to think up a few more chores.
"Mr. Potter you are not a house elf and you need not prove your self worth to me. You will do as I say and help with restocking supplies and accept the broom as it was intended. Now, do I make myself clear?" Snape said hoping to be done with this subject and get on their way.
" Yes sir, but I'm really good at ..."
Snape suddenly cut him off as he said harshly, "Mr. Potter one more word on this subject and you will be doing detention for the next month!" Snape was losing his patience with the overeager boy.
Harry quickly stepped back and flushed with shame. "Yes sir, sorry," came a small voice.
Damn it! Snape was mad at himself for jumping on the boy like that and in front of his friends no less. Merlin, the boy was just trying to be helpful. Snape would somehow have to make it up to him.
Grainger looked ready to rip his head off and Weasley had a look of disgust written across his face.
"You have nothing to be sorry about Potter." He tried to think of something to make it up to the boy. "How would you like to see the Chudley Cannons play this weekend? I could procure tickets in the box seats," Snape offered as he hoped this would make the boy feel better.
Harry looked over at Ron and saw his jaw drop. He was once again feeling overwhelmed at the thought of Snape doing something so nice for him.
"That's brilliant! I know I shouldn't ask this but … is it okay to invite someone else?" Harry just couldn't go to that game without Ron.
Snape looked over at Weasley and he never thought he would see the day that he would voluntarily be spending an entire day with Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. What is this world coming to?
"Fine, fine bring your friend along," Snape said with a sneer at the group of Gryffindor. This was not going as planned and he thought he better get the boy and leave before he had a date to take the whole group to ice cream!
"Thanks Professor!" Harry said with the first real smile Snape had seen in months.
'Okay, now that makes it worthwhile,' thought Snape.
"Alright enough already, let's attend to the matter at hand and be on our way," Snape said as he turned and begun walking to the apparition point in Hogsmeade.
Harry and Ron gave each other high fives and Harry ran to catch up with the Professor.
"Man he's got it made!" Ron said with awe. "He could have anything he wants and Snape will buy it for him. First the clothes and bedroom, then the Firebolt and now the Chudley Cannons!"
"Oh Ronald, don't be so jealous, he would give anything to have what you have," Hermione wisely stated.
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Hogsmeade was packed with people busy shopping. Harry didn't go unnoticed and quite a few people wanted to take his picture or asked for his autograph. Fortunately Snape was quick to give them his ready sneer mixed with a little death glare and they soon stopped following them.
Harry asked if they could stop at Gringott's but Severus wouldn't hear of it. He insisted that if Harry wanted anything he would be the one to pay.
Harry was amazed at how much they got done in a short amount of time. They had all his books and quills and parchment, when Harry suddenly stopped in front of the magical toy store called "Tinker's Toys".
"What do you suppose that does Professor?" Harry asked as he pointed to a skateboard without wheels, hovering in the air. It was red with yellow and black stripes across it.
"Shall we go in and find out?" Snape said and he saw Harry's face light up.
"I've never been in a toy store before. When Dudley got to go I used to have to wait in the car." Harry quickly shut his mouth as he saw the look of anger flit across the professor's face.
Snape went up to the clerk and inquired about the board in the window.
"Oh that's a Wizard Racing Board. It's the latest and greatest toy we have. You just stand on it and it hovers in the air. You can make it go faster by leaning forward and it spins around too. If your good enough you can even do loops in the air but it takes awhile to get to that level," the pimply faced clerk said excitedly as he lifted the board out of the window with care. "Its rather pricey but well worth the investment."
They went out to the back alley and the clerk put the board on the ground. He tentatively stood on the board and it began to rise off the ground. He leaned forward and the board went slowly forward. The clerk began to lean left and right and the board followed his every movement as it hovered in the air.
A handful of people stopped to watch and clapped when he made a few spins. The clerk gathered up his nerve and leaned way forward as he pushed down on his back foot, causing the board to begin a loop in the air. Halfway up the loop the clerk lost his nerve and the board crashed to ground with the clerk tumbling off and landing on his head. Luckily Snape flicked his wand just in time to stop the clerks head from hitting the ground with full impact. The clerk scrambled up and thanked the professor for his assistance.
"Can I try it?" Harry asked rather tentatively as he looked from the clerk to his Professor.
The clerk said to go a head and Snape nodded his approval as well.
Harry jumped onto the board and it hovered a few feet off the ground. He leaned forward and the board followed his moves. It didn't take Harry long to get comfortable on the thing and pretty soon he was doing spins and flips and even a double loop. The crowd had grown and began to cheer Harry's every move. Harry didn't even hear the crowd as he was having so much fun. It was kinda like riding a broom but standing up.
After a few more flips and dives Harry landed and stepped off the board with ease. The crowd cheered and Harry finally noticed all the people gathered around. His face reddened and he stood closer to Snape. He looked down at his shoes, as was his usual stance these days.
Snape was mildly proud of the boy and placed a hand on his shoulder to show his approval. Harry unconsciensly leaned against Snape as his stomach began to react to all the spinning and loops.
"What is wrong Harry?" Snape asked as he felt the weight of the boy against him.
"Nothing sir." No way was Harry going to complain. He had learned his lesson at the hands of Vernon about telling anyone he felt ill. It was well drilled into his head these past weeks that under no circumstance was he to complain about anything that bothered him.
Snape looked down at the boy and thought maybe he just needed some food and a little rest from shopping after his ride on the Wizard Board. "How did you like the board Mr. Potter?" Snape asked as he watched the boy suddenly realize he was leaning on him and step away.
"It was brilliant and as much fun as riding a broom!" Harry said and tried not to sound too tired.
"You know I had wanted to have a birthday party for you but with the circumstances that happened it regretfully never came about. It would please me greatly to purchase that board for you."
"But you just got me the broom and that was too much already." Harry said with discomfort.
"The broom was just replacing Lupin's gift. This would be a gift from me. One that you would not have to earn but a true birthday gift," Snape watched Harry's face as he saw the boy wrestle with the idea of allowing himself another gift.
It was beyond his wildest dreams to be given so much and in such a short time. Harry looked up into the Professor's face and saw how determined he was to do this. The last thing Harry wanted was to have another scene like the one at Hogwarts.
Harry picked up the board and rubbed his hand lovingly over it. His mates would go crazy over this thing!
Snape took that to mean yes and quickly paid for the board and escorted a very happy Harry to the Leaky Caldron for lunch. Harry placed the board in a chair next to him and kept rubbing his hand over it whenever he thought Snape wasn't watching. He thought of this past summer and he suddenly realized something. He looked up and saw Snape watching him.
"Are you okay Mr. Potter?" Snape asked with concern.
"Yes sir. It's just that, I've been thinking and … everything good that has happened to me this summer is because of you." the Gryffindor said barely above a whisper.
Snape seemed uncomfortable and ordered another cup of tea, without responding to him. Severus was actually quite emotional over the gratitude the boy showed. The feeling was very foriegn to him and made him uncomfortable.
When they were finished with the meal that Harry barely touched, they used the fireplace in the Leaky Caldron to floo into Hogsmeade. Just before they entered Hogwarts Snape said, "Harry, I hope you didn't mean what you said yesterday about the adoption. I'm not exactly sure what is going through that head of yours but I can speculate that it has something to do with that abominable uncle of yours."
Harry shifted the board from his shoulder and held it in front of him. He didn't exactly know how to answer.
"You don't have to answer right now but please do contemplate carefully."
They walked side by side with Snape carrying all the bags of Harry's school supplies. When they reached the castle Snape hung the bags on Harry's arms and they departed to their perspective rooms with a nod and a quiet "Thank You" from Harry.
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Oh, and just so you know, I have been working on the cruise ship since the day after Christmas and I have huge blocks of time with nothing to do, as the television shows suck on a ship. I already have a few more chapters finished but I like to revise them a bit before posting. I can only post when we are dockside so that will be in two more days. Also, it really means a lot to me to get your reviews. It gets lonely on the ship with nothing but passengers bugging me for directions all day. Cherrs and Happy New Year!