Chapter One: Whispering
Summary: Short stories about mostly Snape and Bella and what happened in their Hogwarts days.
This fan fiction was written by my friend, KD, but she does not have an account so I posted it up here. THIS IS ALL HERS! NONE OF IT IS MINE! Actually it wasn't even suppose to be a fan fiction, but whatever, it's funny enough, so that's why its here. This is pure randomness and weird…ness.
Disclaimer: We don't own Harry Potter…or anything else for that matter. ALso we don't own any of the jokes that we used.
One day, Severus Snape and Bellatrix Black decided to go on a date. Snape and Bella's idea of a good time for a date was to go to the Chamber of Secrets and have a picnic. Snape can speak Parseltongue because he is just so evil like that and he went to go open the door.
"OPEN!" Snape said in his announcer voice. Needless to say, the door opened and they went in.
The hall was quiet…TOO quiet. The only thing they could hear was the sound of distant hissing, ringing in their heads.
Bella decided to start singing "Ring Around the Rosy" right behind Snape. Snape jumped up about three feet in the air and fell into a puddle of water. But I mean, come on, nothing is more scary than little girls (or Bella) singing "Ring Around the Rosy."
So anyways, fortunately, the water washed out all of the grease from Snape's hair. Bella liked it. A lot. Just then, Snape and Bella started to have a make out session right there on the floor.
Suddenly, Tom Riddle entered, riding on the snake's back, which interrupted their make out session.
"BELLA!" Voldemort screamed, "HOW COULD YOU!" He started to cry right there on the spot.
Bella and Snape looked guiltily around the chamber and were about to go and comfort him, when suddenly in a really good announcer voice (AN: But not as good as KD's announcer voice) and shouted, "WELL RIDDLE ME THIS BELLA! WHAT BUILDING HAS THE MOST STORIES?"
Bella looked dumb stricken.
Snape snorted, "That one again?" Snape has been with Voldemort too long, he has heard all of his riddles. Just because his last name was Riddle, didn't mean he should have looked up all the riddles in the universe.
"THE LIBRARY!" Snape finally answered Voldemort's riddle.
"Well, I bet you never heard of this one before!" Voldemort took a breath of air, "KNOCK KNOCK!" He said in a very good announcer voice.
Snape and Bella looked confused.. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Bella screamed, "OH MY GOD! ALL THAT STUPID HISSING FROM YOUR SNAKE IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!" She pulled out her wand and silenced the chamber, so only Snape, Bella, and Voldemort could be heard.
"I SAID KNOCK KNOCK!" Voldemort said looking slightly annoyed.
Bella started whispering to Snape, "This is so corny, what's with all the knock knock jokes?"
Snape turned to look at her, "Why are we whispering? We are the only ones here, and anyways we silenced the room."
"Oh right." Bella said looking deflated.
"Fine Voldemort, I'll answer you," Snape said very bravely, even though he wasn't in Gryffindor, "WHO'S THERE?"
"YOU KNOW!"
"YOU KNOW WHO?" Snape and Bella asked.
"THAT'S RIGHT! ME! AVADA KEDAVRA!" Then Snape and Bella died. Voldemort laughed a high pitched girly laugh that mocked all other girly laughs.
Voldemort unsilenced the room and shouted to the world, "NOW TO GO GET SOME OF MRS. POTTER'S BONBONS!" He said all of this, of course, in his best announcer voice. "BUT JUST IN CASE," Voldemort added, "IN CASE I SOMEHOW DIE, BUT DON'T WANT TO DIE. I WILL PRESERVE MYSELF IN THIS CONVENIENTLY LOCATED DIARY RIGHT AT MY FEET!"
And on that final note, Voldemort ran off with his snake (AN: Naughty!) and went to cause havoc to the world above.
AN: The end of chapter one! Yay! Originally this was going to be a one shot, but then I realized there was way too much for just one chapter. Sorry if there are any mistakes spelling or grammar wise. PLEASE REVIEW! WE LOVE REVIEWS!