Chapter Two: My Elf is on Fire!

Disclaimer: We don't own anything.

Somehow, after Voldemort killed Snape and Bella, they came back to life with a potion that Snape had in his pocket. This mysterious bottle potion thing has a really long name, which I will not say here because I cannot spell it. How they got the potion bottle out when they are dead is a mystery, but that is not the point of the story. Just a minor flaw which you should ignore. Right.

Bella and Snape decided that the chamber was actually really dangerous so they decided to leave. They walked back up to the Hogwarts castle and were hungry. Unfortunately, they lost track of time and it was actually 11:00 at night.

"DAMN!" Bella cursed, "I'M SO HUNGRY!" She practically screamed.

"SHUT UP BELLA!" Snape shouted over her screaming, which was rather hard. "We'll get caught if we stay out here. Let's just go and find where the house-elves are. They are bound to give us food!"

Together they walked around for a while, trying to find where the house-elves were. After a while they stopped in front of a large picture of a bowl of fruit.

"HAHAHHAHAHA! THERE'S A PEAR!" Bella practically screamed again.

"SHUT UP YOU TWIT! I'm trying to think. I've always seen that stupid Potter come around here and do something with the picture. Now what was it…?"

"Perhaps he kissed the pear?" Bella suggested.

"It's worth a shot."

Snape went and kissed the pear, much to Bella's delight. Nothing happened.

Bella suggested, "Perhaps we have to dance for the pear?"

Bella and Snape did the tango together much to the amusement of the other paintings in the corridor. Snape started to break dance. Needless to say, this did not work. But was very funny.

"Maybe we have to do something to the painting." Bella suggested.

"BURN IT!" Snape said laughing manically. It sounded kind of like this: MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!

"No you moron!" Bella hissed at Snape," I mean like touch it or something."

"How about we tickle it?"

Bella proceeded to go up and tickle the apple and the bananas.

"How about the pear?" Snape said rolling his eyes.

"Oh right! I forgot about the pear!" She went and tickled the pear and the painting opened. They rejoiced by break dancing.

Finally after much break dancing, they entered the kitchens to find hundreds of house-elves all cooking stuff for no apparent reason. They entered and the house-elves smiled and waved.

"Awwwwww." Bella cooed, "They are all so cute looking! I want one…NOW!" She pointed to one of them, this little cute one with a tiny little pink bow on top of it head.

"Bella, don't you already have like…12?" Snape asked her raising one eyebrow, making him look completely evil.

"Yeah…but I want one NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!"

Snape picked up another house-elf named Mr. Smiggledorf. Mr. Smiggledorf had a monocle. He was a very distinguished house-elf. Mr. Smiggledorf didn't like Snape. In fact, he thought of him as a slimy greasy-haired git. He got that from his already favorite masters, James and Sirius. He knew all about how horrible Snape was and decided to protest. He picked up a pot which he decided would make a good sign and drew a bottle of grease with a X over it.

Mr. Smiggledorf began to chant, "NO GREASE! NO GREASE! NO GREASE!"

Snape and Bella looked confused. Very confused.

Just then, one of the other house-elves remembered that he didn't like Snape and Bella. But then again, that particular house-elf didn't like Mr. Smiggledorf either. Mr. Smiggledorf did too many Mr. Darcy poses and talked in a long drawly boring British voice. It got kind of annoying.

So this particular house-elf, whose name is Jimmy, decided that instead of attacking Snape, he would attack Mr. Smiggledorf. He produced fire from his finger and went to go attack Mr. Smiggledorf. But he accidentally slipped on some mango salsa that was on the floor and stumbled into Mr. Smiggledorf, who promptly got off from the floor (it wasn't dignified). Jimmy did a somersault and collided with Snape, who fell on to the floor, writhing in pain.

Snape screamed, "MY ELF IS ON FIRE!"

Bella could not stop from laughing at this point. Neither could all of the other elves, they were all laughing, even Mr. Smiggledorf.

Just then, the painting opened and in walked Sirius and James. Mr. Smiggledorf promptly went and told them what happened to Snape.

Needless to say, Snape never really forgot this incident.

AN: Sorry if it's a little confusing, just draw up your own conclusions. PLEASE REVIEW! REVIEWS ARE ALWAYS LOVED!