Harry had put the note Snape wrote to him in his pocket and went to class. The note had only been a few lines but to Harry it meant much more. Just knowing that someone cared made a big difference in how he was handling the flood of memories that threatened to close in on him every minute. At this point he was living minute to minute, second to second trying not to let the mountain of emotions fall down on him. The abuse he had suffered at the hands of his uncle affected him so deeply that he didn't know how to begin to deal with it other than to push it away from his thoughts. He thought he might be feeling differently if it all hadn't happened so suddenly over the summer and following his tremendous guilt over getting Sirius killed. Had Uncle Vernon really been trying to help him change or was he just a sick, demented person who enjoyed watching him suffer? Harry still didn't know the answer.
As Harry was walking by himself to class he noticed a group of girls following behind him and could hear his name every now and then. It felt so weird to him that so many girls were actually interested in him now. The Welcome Ball was only a week and a half away and Harry had no idea whom he was inviting yet. There really wasn't anyone he was interested in besides Ginny and she always seemed to be in the company of one guy or another so he thought his chances with her were slim to none. Besides he didn't know how Ron would take it anyways and the last thing he needed was a fight with Ron. At this point he thought he might not go at all.
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Later that day at Quiddich practice Harry noticed many more people in the stands then usual, especially for a midday practice session. He looked around and spotted the professor sitting by himself, grading papers and ran over to him.
"Hi Professor! Thanks for coming," Harry truly meant that. He had never had anyone interested enough to come and watch him practice.
Snape looked up and assessed Harry's health. His coloring was good and he looked to be well rested.
"Mr. Potter, you will refrain from doing anything unwise while you are flying. I made this nutritional supplement for you since you will be taking the antidote tonight. I really do not want you skipping meals today," Snape said as he handed Harry a bottle of green liquid.
"Thanks Professor," Harry said and took a small drink to see how it tasted.
"Wow this stuff's actually really good. If you ever get tired of being a potions teacher you could start a new business selling this!" Harry said and finished off the bottle in a few more gulps.
"Thank you Mr. Potter, I will try to keep that in mind after teaching the first years."
Harry laughed and handed the empty bottle back to the professor. He gave a quick wave and kicked off, flying up in the air.
Severus watched and was impressed with the ease and grace the boy showed on the broom. He had always known Harry was quite a good flyer but had never appreciated his grace before today. Harry made a couple of loops and dives and the students sitting in the stands broke out into applause.
Severus could hear the young ladies in the stands talking about Harry and who he was planning on taking to the Welcome Ball next week. He actually thought he heard the words "Love Potion" a few times and thought he should warn Harry in case anyone tried to slip him something to make him fall in love. Severus turned towards the group of girls sitting behind him and gave them a scowl. The girls immediately became frightened and moved further down to the next set of bleachers.
Severus went back to watching Harry and thought maybe the boy was showing off for his benefit. He really should put a stop to Harry standing on the broom but he didn't want to ruin Harry's chance to show off a bit. Just in case Harry fell, Snape pulled his wand out and held it in the ready. Luckily he never needed to use it and Harry finished practice with a spectacular spiral spin landing directly in the pitch in front of Snape. The wind the spiral created blew Snape's papers across the bench. Severus looked back towards Harry and saw how the boy was just waiting to hear a little praise from him at his Quiddich skills. Snape presumed the Dursley's never attended anything Harry had excelled at and the boy probably never had the approval he so desperately seeked from them.
"Harry come here," Snape said and stood up motioning to the space in front of the bench.
Harry looked a little worried and said with trepidation clearly in his voice, "Yes sir. Sorry about the papers, I guess I over did it." Harry stood before the professor nervously tapping his broom with his fingers.
Snape slowly reached a hand out to Harry's face and the boy flinched ever so slightly.
"I just want you to know how proud of you I am. Your performance was amazing," Snape said and rubbed the spot of mud off Harry's cheek with his thumb before pulling his hand back.
Harry was utterly speechless. He thought Snape had called him over to reprimand him and instead he was actually proud of him! It touched Harry deeply and he felt a lump in his throat and quickly looked at his broom to hide his emotions.
"I'll see you tonight after supper. Do not worry about packing clothes, I ordered extra clothing for you to keep in my rooms here at school." Snape watched as Harry looked up at him with disbelief.
"What is it? Is everything alright?" Snape asked.
Harry shook his head and said, "It's nothing sir."
"What? What is it?"
Harry shuffled nervously and said, "It's just … you know, I never really had anyone … you know, care that much." Harry felt his face begin to flush.
If the stands had not been full and if every eye in the place wasn't blatantly starring at them, Snape would have put his arms around the boy but decided to just pat his shoulder instead.
"Well, get accustomed to it." With that said he gathered his papers and left the stands to several whispers and much gossiping.
Harry quickly looked around and saw how everyone was staring at him and was thankful they couldn't actually hear the words that were said between him and the professor. He was looking forward to a nice relaxing weekend away from prying and gawking classmates.
He swung his broom onto his shoulder and caught up with the rest of his teammates feeling like he was a little less "different" than everyone else for the first time. He was no longer alone and was in fact going to have a real family, a father who was actually proud of him.
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That evening after supper Harry made his way down to Snape's quarters for his weekend stay. He would have been excited to be getting away from everyone but the thought of taking that antidote put a damper on his spirits. When he reached the portrait with the snake on it he said the secret password and went inside. The fireplace was roaring and there was a pitcher of butterbeer and two glasses on the coffee table. Harry immediately felt comfortable in the warm inviting room and dropped his book bag on the console table.
Harry spotted the professor across the room standing at his desk, reading a rolled up parchment. He had an angry scowl on his face and looked a little tense.
"Hi Professor," Harry said a little alarmed at the look on the professor's face.
"Good evening Harry. Did you eat all of your supper?" The professor asked curtly.
"Yes sir."
"According to Vespa that should help stave off the stomach pains."
"Professor, how do you know that she's not just giving me more poison?" Harry asked. The question had been on his mind the last couple of days. He plopped down on the sofa and leaned on the green silk pillows.
"Do you honestly think I would hand you something without testing it first?" Snape answered a little harshly. He was actually quite offended to think that Harry would think him so naive.
"Oh, yeah … of course. I-I didn't mean that sir," replied Harry with apprehension. The last thing he wanted to do was make Snape mad and get kicked out.
"No, you have every right to question anything you are given. As a matter of fact if your brain had been working properly over the summer you wouldn't be in this predicament. I am not certain what was going through your mind when you drank that tea?" Snape said as he begun to shake up the vial of antidote.
"I guess I wasn't really thinking too clearly. I thought Stanton was one of the good guys."
"Try not to rely on your intuition in the future, it obviously steers you wrong."
Harry was feeling a little awkward at the moment. He almost felt like Snape didn't want him there anymore. He already felt like he was intruding on the professor's free time and didn't want to take up more of his time then necessary.
"Professor I can go back to Gryffindor Tower after I take the antidote. I know I'm taking up all your free time and stuff," Harry replied sincerely.
Severus stopped mid stride and turned to face the boy. He watched as Harry placed the pillow he had been leaning on neatly back on the sofa and went to stand next to his book bag.
"Why would you want to do that?" Snape asked.
"I-I don't know. I just get the feeling you don't really want me here and I totally understand and all …" Harry said and looked towards the fire.
"Harry, I do want you to stay. I'm just a little on edge at the moment," Snape said and seeing Harry's puzzled look he continued, "I just received an owl from someone that put me in a rather foul mood. Unfortunately you are on the receiving end of that mood."
Snape walked over to Harry and put a hand on his shoulder. Harry looked up at him with a relieved expression on his face.
"Harry this is your home now. You may come and go as you please, just like Snape Manor is your home. You need not ask to come for the weekend or any other time. Do you understand? I didn't mean to snap at you."
Harry nodded and Snape steered him back to the sofa and watched as once again he sat down.
"Very well, are you ready for the antidote? The sooner you take it and go to bed the earlier you will feel better in the morning. I thought we would go to Diagon Alley tomorrow and buy you new Quiddich gloves. I noticed you had a few holes in your gloves. And I have to make a stop at the apothecary for some more supplies."
"Sir, do you think we could stop at Fred and George's shop?"
Snape thought about that for a moment and decided it was a good idea. He still hadn't thanked them properly for finding Harry and was willing to put their past experiences to rest now that the twins were no longer in school.
"Yes, if that is what you wish. I owe the Weasley family a great gratitude," Severus said sincerely.
Harry gave him an inquisitive look, "Why professor?"
"They were the ones to find you in the tunnel. Who knows how long you would of survived if they hadn't found you when they did," Snape said and put a hand on Harry's shoulder. "Now, are you ready to drink this?"
"Yes sir, but um, is there anything you can give me for the stomach pain?" Harry asked hopefully.
""Hmm, yes I know it does irritate. I wish there was something but it did not work the last time you took it. Have you been eating large meals?" Snape asked as he uncorked the vial and handed it to Harry.
"I guess so."
Snape gave him an austere look and raised an eyebrow. "Well, we will soon find out. Go ahead and drink up."
Snape watched as Harry drank and then made a sour face.
"That was awful. It tasted like Bertie Bott's Beans earwax! "Harry said as he grabbed the glass of butterbeer Snape was now offering.
"I tested it this morning and the core ingredients were the same as last time. Vespa must have taken out the sweetener she had put in for the tea."
"Professor I don't feel so good," Harry said as he began to shiver and hold his stomach.
Snape placed a hand on his forehead. He was warmer than normal but not enough to cause the boy to shiver. Snape grabbed a quilt and wrapped it around Harry's shoulders then pushed the boy back onto the pillows on the sofa and sat down next to him.
Harry felt awful and was starting to get those horrible stomach pains again. He curled up into a ball and laid his head down on the pillow. The professor tried to calm him down by telling him stories of student's worse at potions than Longbottom and rubbing small circles on his back. Harry wasn't really listening as the pain was so intense but the sound of the professor's voice was rather comforting. After a good hour Harry finally fell asleep.
Snape watched as Harry's face showed the pain he was feeling even in sleep and wished it had been him instead of Harry who had been given the poison. He felt Harry shudder every now and then and knew that he would have to hurry and find out what the mysterious ingredient was that was making the boy so ill. The professor wrapped his arm around Harry and leaned his head back against the sofa. Within minutes he fell into his own fitful sleep.
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Harry awoke in the middle of the night feeling feverish and parched. He sat up shakily and looked around for something to drink to get the horrible taste out of his mouth. His glass from earlier was empty so he slowly made his way into the kitchen to get some water. His hands were shaking so much from the stomach pain and fever that he sloshed water down the front of his shirt. On his way back from the kitchen something caught his eye on the professor's desk. It was the rolled up parchment that the professor had been reading earlier. He knew it was from Vespa as he could see the lavender insignia. Harry thought that must have been what had put the professor in such a foul mood last night. Harry slowly unrolled it and read what Vespa had to say;
Severus,
Your request to sign over your estate in exchange for the formula to the antidote will not work. When your Great Great Grandfather died he placed a magical spell on the estate ensuring that the doors would open only to the rightful owner. The spell would make the estate inhabitable to anyone that was not the rightful heir. Unfortunately there is a clause including an adopted child. So I must turn down the offer of you signing over your estate and insist that the adoption be stopped. At this point I no longer trust you to do that on your own and will have "my people" keeping an eye on you.
I am amazed that you actually think you could out smart me Severus. You were a foolish, weak child and have become an even more pathetic adult. Is this boy really worth the division it has caused in our family?
Aunt Vespa
Harry held the note in his unsteady hands and read it one more time. He could not believe that Snape was actually willing to give up that beautiful estate just to adopt him. It made Harry feel so guilty and yet he felt relieved to know that Snape really did want him as a son. The thought was too good to be true.
"Excuse me Mr. Potter, but do you usually read notes that are not addressed to you? I will need to remember in the future to lock my desk drawer," Snape said as he stalked over to the desk and ripped the note from Harry's hand.
"Oh, um I'm sorry sir." There really wasn't much Harry could say as he had been caught red handed.
Snape was going to give him a lecture on privacy when he saw how hard Harry was shivering.
"What is wrong with you? Do you have another fever?" Snape asked as he roughly put his hand to Harry's head. The boy was burning up again and looked as if he were ready to pass out.
"Get back to the sofa and lie down immediately. Why did you not wake me and let me know you were ill? For Merlin's sake Potter, you must learn not to hide these things from me!" Snape snapped as he pulled another vial from his black bag.
Harry unsteadily made his way to the sofa and practically fell on it. He then rolled back up holding his stomach and placing his head on the pillow. Snape walked over to him and watched with concern as Harry drank the fever reducing potion.
"Well, I guess it was too much to expect that dreaded fever to stop attacking you. I'm not sure if it has to do with the antidote or not. You clearly had fevers before the poison was given to you." Snape sat down next to the pillow Harry had his head on and pushed Harry's hair back from his sweating forehead.
"Professor, could you please make the fire hotter?" Harry said with chattering teeth.
Snape knew the fire was roaring and thought Harry must have the chills. He pulled out his wand and another quilt appeared. He flung that over Harry and said, "I don't want you to get too warm. Try to go back to sleep. Hopefully this will pass and you will feel better in the morning." Snape sounded much more confident then he felt though.
Harry slept for a good hour as Snape sat by him and occasionally felt the boy's forehead in hopes that the fever would break. Snape began to wonder if the fever was somehow caused by the abuse Harry had suffered. He remembered Harry having these same fevers in the hospital after he had been rescued and whenever the boy was especially stressed. Snape knew that he would have to get Harry to open up and talk about the abuse he suffered this weekend. He could tell that Harry was trying to fight off the memories and would often catch the boy shaking his head as if to clear his mind of something bad.
Just as Snape began to doze off again Harry woke up with a start and began to scream.
"He's got her! He's got Ginny! I have to find her!"
Harry scrambled to his feet and was heading towards the door when Snape caught his arm and swung him around so they were standing face to face.
"Potter! Stop now and look at me!" Snape grabbed the boy's face roughly and waited until Harry looked him in the eye before saying, "Sit down and tell me what is wrong."
Harry tried to pull out of Snape's grasp. "No! Voldemort has Ginny! I have to go help her, he has her at the gates!" Harry screamed out and tried to loosen Snape's firm grip on his arm.
"Potter stop this instant! Miss Weasley is safe in her bed. It is 4:00 am and no one is allowed out of the castle. It was a nightmare, only a nightmare." Snape reasoned as he grabbed Harry's other arm and shook him.
"It wasn't a nightmare! It was real and it was from Voldemort! I can feel it, I can feel it in my scar!" Harry said emphatically.
Snape pushed the hair back from Harry's forehead and saw that the scar was an angry swollen red color. The professor knew that it very well could have been a message from Voldemort but thought it more likely a trick then real. But he knew Harry wouldn't sleep until the boy knew for sure that Miss Weasley was not in danger and now he too felt he needed to be sure.
"Very well. I will go up to Gryffindor Tower only if you go back and lie down. You still have that fever and I do not want you over exerting yourself going up and down the stairs."
"Okay, but hurry … please," Harry said and reluctantly went back to the sofa and knew that he probably wouldn't even make it up to Gryffindor Tower with the way he felt right now. He watched as the professor made his way out the door and hoped that this was just Voldemort playing another trick on him. It really bothered him how Voldemort knew to use Ginny as the bait. He didn't think anyone knew about the way he felt for Ginny.
Harry sat up on the sofa and was watching the door when it suddenly opened and Snape came walking in followed by Ginny and Hermione. Harry stood up quickly and immediately regretted it as he swayed and would have fallen if Snape hadn't rushed over and caught his arm.
"Ginny, you're okay," Harry said rather embarrassed by the whole incident now. The professor pushed him towards the sofa and Harry sat down.
"Harry, are you alright? Professor Snape said you had another scare again from You Know Who," Ginny said as she wrapped her robe around her tighter and looked at Harry with concern. He was shaking and looked feverish.
"Again?" Professor Snape asked and he looked down at Harry with a stern look.
Harry didn't say anything, but Hermione offered up, "Yes sir, this is not the first time Harry has thought Ginny was in trouble. That day that you caught him in the hallway he had another nightmare."
Harry felt totally betrayed by his best friend and gave her a glare before looking over at the professor.
"Harry, I am at a loss. I really do not know how to deal with you and the secrets you insist on keeping from me. What exactly is it going to take for you to begin to trust me?" Snape said severely as he pushed Harry back on the pillow and threw a quilt over the shivering boy. Both girls looked at Snape with a little fear clearly on their faces. Snape softened his expression and shook his head in frustration.
Harry looked down and was at a total loss on how to answer. He never wanted Snape to find out about the dreams because he knew the professor would make him start occlumency lessons again. Ginny came and sat down next to him and took hold of his shaking hand.
"I'm okay Harry. Voldie's just trying to scare you again. Don't listen to him anymore," Ginny said as she patted Harry's hand. Harry looked at her face and felt relief wash over him.
"Mr. Potter, I do believe you have an appointment tomorrow with me for occlumency lessons. The trip to Diagon Alley will have to wait. Now may I get you young ladies a cup of tea before I escort you back to Gryffindor Tower?"
Both Ginny and Hermione were surprised Snape was being so nice. He was such a different person now that he was adopting Harry. Hermione said, "That would be nice sir." Snape pulled his wand out and there were three cups of steaming tea on the coffee table. He excused himself and left the three Gryffindor to themselves.
No one spoke for a few minutes. Ginny finally said, "Gosh Harry, Snape really cares about you doesn't he? He was the one who made McGonagall give us permission to visit you. He said you would be worried until you saw me in person."
Harry looked at Ginny in her pink bathrobe and fuzzy slippers. He felt a strong desire to lean over and kiss her but held back and squeezed her hand instead.
Hermione suddenly spoke up again, "Harry I didn't mean to get you in trouble, its just that I know what happened last year with Sirius and I'm afraid Voldemort's doing it again."
"Hermione, how did you even know about the last time I had that nightmare? Oh forget it, I'm sure Ron told you. Bloody hell Hermione …" Harry didn't finish his sentence as Snape walked back into the room and gave him a glare.
"Mr. Potter it seems you are in need of more lessons then I thought. Tomorrow you will not only get a lesson in occlumency but also one in manners," Snape faced Hermione and said, "If you ladies are ready I feel we should be on our way. It seems Mr. Potter needs more rest, maybe then he will remember his manners." Snape turned on his heel and headed to the door.
Ginny looked at Harry and was not sure if he was red from the fever or from getting in trouble in front of everyone. She gave his hand a final squeeze and said, "Could we come see you tomorrow?"
Harry looked over to Snape who said, "This is Mr. Potter's home. He may have whomever he pleases over for a visit. Although I'm not sure why anyone would want to spend time with him with the way that he speaks to his friends." Snape gave Harry a look of disappointment.
Harry looked over at Hermione as she stood up with an upset look on her face.
"Hermione, I'm sorry. I hope both of you come back to visit and ask Ron if he wants to come too," Harry said through chattering teeth.
Snape tried not to show how worried he was about him but walked back over to Harry and put a hand to his forehead. Sure enough the boy was burning up again.
"Harry, I'll be right back," Snape said in a much softer voice as he carefully pushed Harry back onto the pillow and covered him with the quilt again. He pulled his wand out and a tall glass of water appeared. He offered it to Harry but the boy refused. Snape walked to the door with a look of concern on his face. The girls gave a final wave and followed Snape out the door.
Harry closed his eyes and visions of Vernon immediately popped back to his mind. He tried again to push them away and failed miserably as he fell back into another fitful sleep.
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The next morning Harry woke up feeling like his old self once again. His fever was gone and so were the stomach pains. He took a shower and dressed then looked around for Snape. The professor was waiting for him in the front room by his desk.
"Good morning Harry. How are you feeling?" Snape asked as he felt Harry's head again.
"I feel great! I feel good enough to go to Diagon Alley," Harry said and hoped the professor would forget about his threat last night of occlumency lessons.
"Yes, well we have other matters to attend to," Snape said as he motioned for Harry to take the seat in front of the desk.
Harry sat down and immediately began to try and push the memories of Privet drive away before Snape had a chance to see what had happened to him over the summer. Snape sat down on the other side of the desk and watched as Harry closed his eyes and shook his head slightly. Snape knew right away what the boy was trying to do and he pulled his wand out and pointed it at Harry's head.
"Prepare yourself. Legilimency!" Snape said and plunged into Harry's thoughts and memories.
Harry was riding his new firebolt with a feeling of euphoria … Dursley pulling his belt off … Harry holding Ginny's hand … Harry being strapped down to the bed in his room by his uncle … Snape felt the black walls come up with force and was pushed from Harry's mind.
Snape opened his eyes and found Harry panting and doubled over.
"Why, why do you have to do that to me?" Harry pleaded still trying to catch his breath.
"You must stop pushing those memories away and begin to deal with them."
"You say that like it's this easy thing to do but you have no idea how it makes me feel to think of Vernon over powering me like that! I'm supposed to kill Voldemort one day and I can't even defend myself against my disgusting uncle!" Harry screamed out.
Snape watched as the boy struggled with his emotions and felt relieved that at least Harry was acknowledging that something had happened. "Harry, you had no wand, you were protecting your owl and your uncle has tormented you your entire life. Now, tell me what he did to you."
"No! Just leave it alone Severus. I can't talk about it," Harry yelled and ran his hands through his hair trying to calm down.
Snape saw how distressed Harry was and thought he might try a new tactic to get the boy to open up. He opened his desk drawer and pulled out a black leather note pad.
"Harry, let's try something new. I will stop forcing you to talk about the abuse you suffered if you begin to write about it instead. I can clearly see how upset it makes you," Snape said and pushed the notebook towards Harry.
Harry opened the book and saw the blank pages inside. It would be easier to write then to talk about and if it gave him a break from occlumency lessons then it would be worth it.
"Okay, but you have to promise not to show it to anyone," Harry said in a near whisper.
"Fair enough. Whatever you write will be between you and me," Snape said and felt his heart skip a beat at the expression Harry was giving him. Harry looked at him with terrible grief clearly written on his face. Too much sadness for a boy of sixteen to have ever of felt. "You know Mr. Potter, I feel you have had enough lessons for the day. How would you like to go to Diagon Alley?"
Harry nodded and shoved the black notebook away, trying not to think about the words that would be written in it. He stood up and looked to Severus with gratitude.
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Harry and Snape walked into Hogsmeade and apperated into Diagon Alley. They stopped to have a big breakfast with Tom at the Leaky Cauldron. When they finished they made their way into the apothecary shop at the very same time Vespa was on her way out of the same shop.
Harry and Professor Snape stood face to face with Vespa Snape!
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Hi All! Back at school now so I'm not sure how soon I'll be getting chappys out. If you haven't done so already go to review and add me to your alert list so you are notified when I put the next chapter out. And if you get a chance leave a little review too! I'll try to update really soon.