Chapter 5: MY EYES! IT BURNS!
It was a very cold December morning. So cold, in fact, many of the students were getting frost bite. But these frost bitten students are not important right now. What is important is Snape. He is very important.
Snape and Bella were sitting alone in the common room right by the fire. They pushed everyone else away so they could get the best spots right by the fire, so they could brag about not being cold. Bella was bored. She had already done her homework and Snape was being boring, talking about defense against the dark arts. Again. What Bella really wanted to do right now was make something. Something warm that you could eat. Just then one of the much younger first years came into the room with some weird muggle food called cheetos.
"Huh," thought Bella, "those things look good. Even if they are for muggles. Perhaps I could use those." She went over and punched the poor first year in the stomach and took his cheetos. Snape kept on talking as if she had never left.
"Did you know that there is actually a spell that can protect your mind! Yeah, it's called occlumency. It's so FASCINATING!" Snape droned on. Bella rolled her eyes.
"Fascinating." She said curtly. "I'm bored Snapey poo. Lets make something." She said very sweetly.
Snape merely stared at her. "Make something?" he questioned. "Like what, a potion?"
"NO!" Bella snipped. "I mean cook something. Look, I found these things called Cheetos! I'm going to make them nice and warm so that we can walk around the castle without wearing our jackets and make fun of those who are saying that they are cold and we're not! Won't that be fun?" Bella smiled.
Soon enough, Snape and Bella were walking along the corridors towards the house-elf kitchens for supplies. Snape and Bella tickled the pear in the bowl of fruit painting and were soon in the kitchens, getting everything they thought would make good hot or warm sensations in their bodies. They were just about to leave when they ran into Mr. Smiggledorf. He burst out laughing when he saw Snape. Snape and Bella glared at the giggling house elf. They stormed out of the kitchens and headed down the corridors and back to their dormitories.
They were just about to get to their common room, when James and Sirius popped out from behind a corner and screamed. Snape was so startled by this, that he dropped all the food he was holding and jumped into Bella's arms screaming. Sirius and James were crying they were laughing so hard at ol' Snapey poo's reaction.
Bella sighed and dropped Snape on the floor, who was still screaming. She was just about to pick up the cheetos, when she saw her stupid cousin pick up the bag.
"Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetos," Sirius sounded out, "What the bloody hell are Cheeeeeeetos?"
James looked at them and replied, "I think they're a muggle snack food." James looked proud of himself to remember something like that.
Sirius, however, was looking at Bella. "Why on earth do YOU have muggle food? You hate muggles."
Bella glared, "FOR YOUR INFORMATION!" She screamed at Sirius, "We're cooking up something to warm us up." Bella smiled.
"Sounds like fun. Mind if we try it too?" James said.
Snape had finally stopped screaming. "You? Cook? That I've got to see. All right. We'll have a little competition. Whoever makes the better spicy hot cheetos wins. What shall we play for?"
They all sat and started stroking imaginary beards in thought. After a half an hour of sitting and stroking, Bella said, "I got it." They all starred at her waiting for her answer. "Which ever team loses has to streak through the Great Hall at dinner in front of the whole school."
James and Sirius smiled. "It's no problem for me" Sirius said, "I know a lot of girls out there who would love it."
They all stood up and shook hands agreeing. "We will meet at 2:00 in the morning in the Great Hall. Got it?" Bella sneered. They all nodded and headed off to their common rooms.
After many tries, Snape and Bella thought they had found the perfect one. It was so hot that it made smoke come out of their mouths. They headed down to the Great Hall.
When they got to the Great Hall, James and Sirius were standing there, waiting for them.
"What took you so long?" Sirius asked.
James shushed him. "We've only been here for two minutes!"
Sirius looked shocked. "TWO MINUTES! I THOUGHT IT WAS ONLY ONE!"
James sighed and shook his head. "Well after you Snivellus. Bella." He opened the door and to all their surprises, Dumbledore was sitting there.
They all jumped and started to run away when Dumbledore stopped them. "What are you children doing?" he asked.
James spoke up, "Well you see professor…we were just…going to practice our dance moves!"
Snape and Bella looked at him like he was crazy.
Sirius who always catches on fast answered, "Yes, you see, we like dancing at 2:00 in the morning." Sirius looked at them expectantly and they all nodded.
Snape suddenly started dancing and did jazz hands. They all stared at him.
"Well carry on my dear pupils." He then left.
James asked, "Why is he up at 2:00 in the morning in the Great Hall?"
Sirius turned to James and said , "I'm telling you mate. He does not sleep!" James nodded. They pulled out their bag of cheetos and walked over to the nearest table and put it on the table. Snape and Bella did the same.
"All right. I say we try Snape and Bella's first. After all, it was their idea." James said.
Sirius nodded and picked up one of the cheetos and waited for James to do the same. James picked one up and they looked at each other and nodded and popped them into their mouths. Snape and Bella were smiling gleefully. They could not wait for the smoke. James and Sirius continued chewing when suddenly Sirius yelled and smoke came out of his mouth. James proceeded to do the same. They swallowed the rest and looked at each other and laughed.
"That was pretty good." Sirius said smiling.
"Your turn to try ours." James said smiling a very wicked smile. Sirius had the same smile plastered on his face. Bella saw this and was just about to warn Snape when suddenly she saw Snape put the cheetos in his mouth.
It happened very quickly, one second Snape was standing upright chewing and suddenly fire was coming out of his mouth. He was screaming and running around in circles trying to get the fire out of his mouth.
"WHAT DID YOU PUT INTO THOSE CHEETOS?" Bella screamed.
"Nothing…just some drop of volcano essence. Why? Isn't that what you put in yours?" Sirius said smiling.
Bella was stunned. "Oh well" She thought, "At least I didn't eat one of those things."
"Is he going to be all right?" Bella asked as Snape dunked his whole face into a pitcher of ice water.
"Don't worry!" James said smiling. "The worst he'll get is third degree burns!" James smiled.
Sirius sniggered, watching Snape's hair finally be cleaned from all the grease.
"Well!" Sirius said clapping his hand on Snape's back, "It appears that we have indeed won this little contest! So I guess that means that at dinner tonight, we get to see you all again, a lot more of you again. Have fun getting nude! See ya!" James and Sirius then ran out of the Great Hall laughing.
At dinner, Snape and Bella wore long black trench coats. What no one else knew was that they were completely nude underneath. Bella shivered. After all, it was December.
They came in to see James, Sirius, Remus and that little runt Peter all sitting there. Bella had just one question to ask them before they started.
She walked over to their table and looked at Sirius and said, "Who exactly did you practice your Cheetos on earlier?"
Sirius smiled and said, "Peter of course." Bella looked over at Peter, he had a big block of ice on his plate and he was licking it contently. "Riiiiiiiiight, just asking." Sirius laughed as she walked away back to the table.
Halfway through dinner, Snape and Bella stood up. They both walked up to the staff table and looked at each other and let their coats drop to the floor. The whole hall screamed and gasped. Sirius and James were rolling on the floor with laughter, suddenly they saw Remus take a picture and run from the Great Hall before they could take it from them. Soon the whole hall was laughing. Snape and Bella turned around to look at the staff table. Dumbledore was laughing and McGonagall was taking off tons and tons of house points all while blushing.
Professor Flitwick was clearly being heard screaming over all the noise, "MY EYES! IT BUUUUUUUUUURNS!"
Needless to say, no one looked at Snape and Bella the same way again.
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