Summary: Brenda sits in London with the phone pressed to her ear with Dylan on the other end. The summer had not turned out as she expected, nor the beginning of the fall. But what was she to do? When everybody thinks she can save him, can she believe it? Will they be beautiful, or just a beautiful disaster if she takes the leap he is offering.
Disclaimer: I am not profiting, I don't claim ownership to the original characters or plot although the story presented here is all mine! The lyrics of this chapter are from Kelly Clarkson's 'beautiful disaster', and I am gracefully asking her not to sue me for the non-profit usage of the words…
A/N: I want to partially dedicate this story to Aaroon Spelling who passed over the summer. A tribute to the many amazing shows and entertainment television settings he gave the world. A great legacy from a great man who should be remembered. Among other things for bringing 90210, Charmed, several awarded movies, series, and much more to life on the screen and giving series that may not have stood a chance the possibility to get raitings and see the day's light.
Beautiful disaster (ending two)
She lingered there, by the phone, willing the other end to say something again. But all she could hear was breaths, soft smooth even breaths. He was alive, and that was all she really needed right now. For him to stay alive with her, to buy her enough time to come there. To rescue her beautiful disaster.
He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
He's as damned as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
Her father always used to tell her that boy was bad news. Despite the sensitive words, the apparent love, he would always have a lot of trouble inside. He would always be bad news. Since the first day.
But not to her…
Brenda remembered seeing him at her house, working on a car with Brandon. The minute he slid out from underneath the bottom of that vehicle and eyed her she knew, he would break her heart some day.
It is nothing like in the stories. It was love, and friendship like she had never imagined before.
Dylan gave her some of the most amazing moments, and he did capture more than her attention, more than her heart even; he captured her whole being.
And was he bad news? Well…
And if I try to save him
My whole world would cave in
It just ain't right
It just ain't right
Someone once told her that there was nothing she could do if he did not want her help. Naturally she refused to believe something like that.
Here he was, just on the other side of the phone line even though there was half a world between them.
She drew a deep breath trying to hide the sound of tears escaping her lips. The taste of salt reached her lips and she was glad to have something balance the feeling of pain.
'Dylan?' it was barely a whisper. Hoarse at that.
Brandon had called her earlier, told her he thought the other boy was going over the edge now. That there was nothing more he could think of doing to help his friend.
All she could do after that conversation was sit down cross legged and cry. Cry and listen. The apartment she had been renting was empty, silent, and she suddenly felt so very alone. But what could she do? What else was there for her to give?
The fear of having your heart broken is always there, but when it has already happened before you can never really let your guard down. Not without much time and healing.
Brenda shuddered.
'Bren…' the tiered voice from the other end. 'Bren, are you okay?' it was worried despite everything.
'Yeah… I'm okay now.' She responded.
Brandon had proposed she come back, if just for an intervention. Dylan needed her. All she wanted to do was come back, but in her mind the past kept replaying. The past and the unknown future.
If she were to go back there was the risk of staying. Were she to do that for the reason at hand, namely Dylan McKay, her family, or at least part of them, would once again question her actions. And once more her world would risk caving in.
Oh and I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
The thing is he was not really bad, just bad news at times. And yes, pretty damned considering the disasters thrown upon him. How someone that young and that, yes, innocent could end up in these situations.
And after all, she had heard it all before. The problems, the apologies, the 'I'm sorrys'. That he had stumbled, that was nothing she could blame him for, but the way he kept falling… She was desperate.
After all the things they had been through together, things like pregnancy scares, cancer, alcohol, drugs, parents, friends betrayal, and most importantly love.
How was it that something that felt so right could be so hard? Despite the disasters, he was after all hers…
He's such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster
'Dylan?' she asks carefully again noting that the breathing has died away. 'Please…' she whispers, mostly to herself as another uncomforted sob wrecks the fragile body.
'Bren, hold on.' He replies and she hears voices in the background.
'No, what's going on?' Brenda asks not about to be brushed off after the hours of keeping him company in the loneliness.
After a while he does answer.
'Your brother is here. And Stevie.' Dylan drawls.
Even though he seems clearly upset she can tell it is not directed towards her.
'Brenda's on the phone?' she recognizes from the background.
'Please, listen to them.' Brenda whispers.
Now the tears are in free fall, and part of her wanders if she is not as well.
'Did you ask them to come here to check on me?' he asks, surprised rather than annoyed.
'No, but I'm sure they're there for a good reason. Please. Dylan, I'm so scared.'
He pauses.
'Hang on.'
This time she complies and sits quietly hoping for a response that would comfort rather than scare her.
He's magic and myth
As strong as what I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see
And do I try to change him
So hard not to blame him
Hold on tight
Hold on tight
When they came home from Baja she did not once fear he would walk away from her. It was not until she was on the plane back from Paris in fact that she had a clue. Then she knew how easy it was, and how hard it seemed to hold on.
But she knew the pain, they shared it.
Like she knew a lot of what he had gone through, and he knew the same for her.
She remembered when he had come to her when the rest were accusing her of sleeping with Ray for that silly part last spring. How he had stood by her side when she came home from Minnesota U. When she had a gun pointed to her face.
Her father never saw it, never realized who Dylan was when the eyes of expectations were not upon him.
Once she asked if she was just another girl, and he said no, he said he loved her.
Oh and I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
He's such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster
She questioned her latest actions. Maybe staying had been wrong? Maybe part of this was her fault after all? Could she have stayed with him, would that have made today different? Would he have stayed sober that way?
There were so many questions that deserved answers long ago, but she was partially afraid to get them. At least she had been. But laying there in her bed, so far away from him and home, while listening to his voice that seemed muffled she could not help but wonder. What would it be like if she gave them another chance?
Had he really been playing tricks with her mind last year, when she became engaged to Stuart? She always thought Dylan's reaction was because her father had asked him for it, but…
Brenda could not help wonder, would it be perfection? After everything?
He had said that he would be there I she came back, waiting for her.
I'm longing for love and the logical
But he's only happy hysterical
I'm waiting for some kind of miracle
Waited so long
So long
Brandon thought she could save him. Heck, even Dylan did. But what about her? Did she think so?
Would she be able to give it a shot even if that meant fighting her doubts?
He's soft to the touch
But frayed at the end he breaks
He's never enough
And still he's more than I can take
'I love you…' he whispers coming back to the phone.
'Did they leave?' she replies.
'yes, but I'm pretty sure Brandon's standing by his car outside. Seems to think I'll turn drastic.' Dylan said while she could hear glasses hitting each other.
'Don't.' she said.
The sounds stopped.
'How do you feel about tee?' he asked.
She could not help laugh, despite the situation.
Oh and I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
He's such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster
And she cries, and sings, and they talk, and laugh. Decisions are so hard to make, especially when you have already fallen once and the hit of the ground was so hard and painful. But sometimes decisions can bring this amazing love and happiness into your life, something that you might have missed out on otherwise.
Is that possible to miss out on your destiny because of a bad decision?
But maybe it is worth it. Maybe they can pull through together. Prove the people around them how wrong they all were, how their love could prevail. How they, together, would be beautiful, such a beautiful disaster.
We're beautiful
We're such a beautiful disaster
We're beautiful
'Dylan…' she hears the echo in the emptiness of her apartment.
'Yeah?' he answers.
'I love you too.'