Note: Thanks for the reviews! I apologize for taking such a long time. Life has been extremely hectic. I'll try to update quicker so I won't loose all of you before the story's done. Thanks for reading. It's not the best but here we go.

"I am ashamed of myself. I shouldn't have exploded like that, but they were just so...so...I don't know. I wish things were the way they were. I wish...I can wish but it cannot be. I have to make the best of the situation. I just hope there is a best..."
Written in Alexandrea's Journal

The next day the knights keep their distance. I think my explosion yesterday might be the main cause of it. I sulk in the carriage. Mother always told me I had a short temper, which is true. I have always been this way, short tempered. It usually appeared when people treated me like a porcelain figurine that could break at any moment. I suppose it is the fact that I never wanted to be a girl. Ever since I was little I always secretly wished to be a boy so that I could go off into the world and do what Father did, teach people things that they should know to make the world a better place. Then there were times when I wished to be a knight and fight for my cause, defeat the enemy, set slaves free, and end the suffering of the peasant folk, very naïve, but one is entitled to dream. I listen for any sign of life coming outside. There is only the sound of the horses and the clang of metal. Sighing, I clean my cuts, which, thanks to Coriel's ointment, are looking better. Once I finish that task I settle in my blankets, for I have not bothered to put them away and try to go to sleep, hoping that sleep will bring happier memories, I have no luck.

After tossing and turning for a while I give up on napping and open the curtains to let some fresh air in. The knights ride in their protective circle, all of them evenly spaced and silent as a grave. I look for Gawain; he is at the front of the circle. Next to me is Lancelot, just my luck. I sigh and lean back. With nothing else to think about, my arm throbs for attention. I try to ignore it but it refuses to go unnoticed and I begin to unwrap it.

"Milady," a voice comes. "I would advise not to do that." I look up to see Arthur riding next to me.

"Why?" I ask crossly.

"It will only make it hurt worse. If you are in great pain, we can stop up ahead where there is a cool river that you can put it in. Perhaps we might be so lucky as to find some ice, for it tends to flow down stream this time of year, and use it to soothe your arm."

His voice is gentle and there seems to be a genuine concern in it. I look up at him, he looks back at me. He is so much like Father. "You are much like my Father."

"How so?" Arthur asked.

"I don't know, it's just some of your facial expressions and the tones of your voice. You are kind and believe what you believe in with all your heart."

"You know all this without even having a complete conversation with me?" he asks.

"Yes, I watched you with your men, you treat them fairly and like they are human beings. I have been to other forts and the indentured knights are not treated so well."

"Why should they be treated any differently?" he asks.

"Do you not know?" I ask amazed.

"Know what?"

"Indentured knights are not treated well. In other places they are always the first ones to die because they are always given the most dangerous missions to fulfill. Most Romans believe that pagans such as these knights of yours deserve not to live."

"This cannot be."

"It is. I have seen it, although I wished not too."

Arthur shakes his head. "That is impossible."

"My father disagreed with such things as well and he tried to stop it. He was not very successful."

"Might I inquire who your father was?" Arthur asks.

I stop. I did not want to tell Arthur that my father is Pelagius, he might feel some responsibility for me and I could not do that to him. "He was just a man. No one you would know." I dodge his question and change the subject. "What do you plan to do once your service to Rome is finished?"

"Go home to Rome," he replies. "Join my teacher, a man as dear to me as a father." He says no name but I know who it is he speaks of.

"This man, do you know how he fares?" I ask.

"Last I heard he is teaching all that he taught me to others in Rome."

I sigh. He has no clue about what happened to his great teacher and I have not the heart to tell him. "That is good."

"Have you heard of him?" Arthur asks me.

"Who?"

"Pelagius."

I look away. I do not wish to tell him all that has happened to him. Arthur seems to sense my discomfort. "What is it?"

"Nothing," I say, trying to avoid his eyes for I do make eye contact I will loose it and end up telling him everything.

"You have heard of him haven't you?" he asks but it is no question. He knows I know Pelagius and I think he might even know more.

"Yes," I sigh and look up at him.

"Something has happened to him hasn't there?" Again, worded as a question but not really one.

"Yes."

"Tell me."

"I can't," I reply weakly.

"What is it? How do you know Pelagius?" Arthur continues with his questions.

"We have met on several occasions," I start, choosing my words carefully as not to reveal too much. "He taught his freedom for all theories to any one who would listen. It did not turn out as well as he would have hoped. The rich are not so willing to believe in an idea that would loose them their slaves. They prosecuted him and had him excommunicated from the church and exiled."

Arthur stares at me. "When did this all happen?" he asks shocked and confused.

"Six months ago." We fall silent.

"How do you know all this?" Arthur finally asks.

"I witnessed it all."

"Why?"

"My mother was being prosecuted at the same time and so I had no choice but to stand by and watch my parents' demise." It is finally out and for some reason I feel somewhat better telling him.

"Parents?" Arthur asks confused. I look at him, I know he wanted to know about my past and I suppose now is as good a time as any to tell him.

"My mother was an Egyptian who was once a slave but my father saved her and married her. Since then people always thought she was a witch and eventually created enough faux evidence to convict her. After my mother was killed my father lost his will to fight and submitted to the terms of the church."

"Where is your father now?"

"I don't know. He was banished." Arthur stares at me and then suddenly his eyes light up as if everything began to connect.

"Pelagius, he was your father."

I nod.

Arthur studies me, as if looking for some resemblance between me and Father. After a few minutes he sees it. "You look like him."

"Unfortunately," I smile. "I inherited all the wrong traits from him."

He smiles at me. "I don't know why I didn't see it before."

"It's not a great resemblance; many people could not even see it."

"Is he alive?"

"As far as I know. If he is though, I don't think joining him would be the best thing to do. He is considered a traitor for his teachings and anyone associated with him will surely suffer the same fate," I inform him.

"What about you? Why are you here?" Arthur wears a puzzled look as if trying to understand why I am here.

"I have no idea. They say it is to marry Alecto, but I rather doubt that. If he is next in line to be Pope he cannot marry and if he could, the daughter of a traitor is not the ideal bride for such an extinguished man," I reply sarcastically.

"So they didn't tell you why?"

"No, they just sent me on the first ship here. I would have preferred to follow Father, but they would not allow it."

Arthur looks at me again, as if still trying to place the last few pieces of the puzzle together. "Why didn't you tell me before? Did you not know I knew your father?"

"I knew about you. Father always spoke of you. You are the son he never had. When I was younger I use to hate you because I thought Father loved you more then me. But that's not the reason I didn't tell you. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to get involved."

"Involved?"

"Something is wrong with everything that is happening and I don't want to get any one else involved. If someone has to suffer it will be me and me alone." I stop, surprised that that came out. I had thought about this a few times but I never actually believed it.

"What do you mean wrong?"

"Everything is. I can't tell you exactly what it is, but don't you feel something strange about all of this. There has to be something more then the obvious. There just has to be." I look at Arthur and then I notice that we have stopped and all of the other knights have gathered around us and were listening.

"Perhaps they are just taking mercy on you?" Arthur suggests.

"I rather doubt that," I reply bitterly, remembering how they treated Mother and me when they held us as prisoners.

"What is it?" Gawain asks as he looks at me.

"Nothing."

"It's nothing. They did something to you didn't they," Gawain says.

I shake my head and decide to tell them everything. I am too tired to think of excuses and ways to dodge their questions. Sighing, I start telling them everything. "I was held prisoner by them for months. They came and took my father and then returned a few days later for me. My mother fought them and so they took her as well. She was convicted as a witch and hanged. They made us watch it. They tried to make me confess to evils my parents have done but I refused. I watched as they broke my father and finally made him submit to their will and made him sign a confession to all the evil things he never did and exiled him. I watched it all happen and could do nothing." I pause. They watch me as if expecting me to burst into tears, but I have no tears to cry. I didn't have them when it happened and I don't have them now. It feels strange to tell them. I have played the words through my mind many times but I never expected to tell them. They wait for me to continue. "They were not kind in their treatment of us; they beat my mother many times before they hung her. They were a bit liberal with their whips with my father as well." I leave it at that. There is really nothing else to say.

"But…" Arthur starts.

"But what? How could they do such a thing?" I interject. "Easily. They care for themselves and will use anything to make their stations in life more comfortable, even if it means evoking the name of God. I rather doubt God ordered that men should be slaves to other men and that people not born the same or of different races should be thought of with no more importance then an animal. If that is so, I will have nothing to do with the Roman god."

"Harsh words for one so young," Arthur remarks.

"I have reason to be." They stare at me.

"You are different," Gawain says.

"What do you mean?"

"You seemed like a normal rich lady when you came, just with a few strange habits. I didn't think too much of that. But I never expected all this to be in you."

"What's 'this'?"

"I don't know, spirit I suppose."

"Spirit?"

"Gawain's right, what you just said…" Arthur stops.

"Threw you a bit didn't it?" I smile.

"Yes, I never expect so much depth, perception, or such a different opinion."

"You just thought I was a brainless lady being sent off to be married and live a life of fashion and comfort."

"Yes," Arthur replies, somewhat ashamed of himself. "I would like to…"

"There is no need to apologize. I understand, it is the story of my life. It's Father's fault mainly that I'm the way I am. He taught me to think for myself and let me get away with everything."

"Well," Arthur starts, as if trying to find the right words.

"There is no need to say anything more on the subject. Perhaps we can enjoy the rest of the journey," I suggest.

"Yes, I could."

"He always thought you would turn out this way," I say. "Father has great faith in you. You have done him a great thing by being who you are." Before Arthur can reply, I close the curtain; I have had enough talking for the moment.