Note: Sorry it took so long. Now that my other story is done I can concentrate on this one. I hope the chapter's ok. Have a nice read and a nice day. Thank you for reading and reviewing!

"We are almost there. I fear what is to come. I pray that all will be well, but deep down inside me I know it will not be. I just know it…"

Excerpt from Alexandrea's Journal

Chapter 10

"Bit strange don't you think?" Bors asks.

"Shh…She might hear you," Gawain says.

"There hasn't been any sign of life from the carriage for hours now, I'm pretty sure she's asleep," Bors replies.

"We can't be certain. You can never know about her, that's for sure," Galahad says. "I mean all that…I don't know. She's just different and I don't think we can assume anything about her."

"The young idiot finally learning something?" Tristan asks. "I am shocked."

They laugh. "I still think she's strange," Bors says.

"How so?" Galahad asks.

"Moody for one thing, I mean hiding her cuts from us and snapping at us for trying to be gentlemanlike. I expected a Roman lady to be afraid of her own shadow; instead we get one like a half-tamed pup, a nose for trouble and unpredictable. Next thing you know she's going to be running away."

"I don't think she'll do that. She is a mystery, I must admit," Tristan says.

"She's not. Knowing who her father is makes her a bit more understandable, although I don't understand why she is so secretive," Arthur admits.

"What does her father have to do with why she's the way she is?" Lancelot asks.

"She's a lot like him in many ways. I fear that if Marius is as he is said to be, she will have a hard time. He is not one to harbor liberalists, and this lady is an extreme."

"Are all Roman ladies like her?"

"No."

"Good, I don't think I could handle more of her," Lancelot remarks. The others laugh. I listen quietly, somewhat happy that I have them so baffled. The remark about Marius is not comforting though. I will have to play the part Mother always wanted me to play if I am to survive. I only hope I can, for I have never been to well at hiding my thoughts and feelings if they are strongly felt.

The knights grow silent. I wait for them to continue on with their conversation but they don't. So I am left to my thoughts again. I fiddle with the bracelet and sigh. Things were so simple and now they are complicated. I shake my head and close my eyes, willing my mind not to think of Conn or Father. Slowly, my mind clears and I relax. "Sleep," I whisper. I close my eyes and sleep claims me.

I wake to the jerking movements of the carriage. It has stopped. Slowly, I climb out to see what is wrong. The sun greets me and I stumble back, blinded by his light. "What is it?" I ask.

"Lunch," Galahad says cheerfully. I shake my head and begin to walk around; my body is stiff and sore. The knights make preparations for a meal and I wonder why. They have never made an elaborate effort for lunch before.

As if he could read my mind, Arthur says, "There's no hurry. We have made good time and should be there tomorrow. There is no need to hurry." In other words, he could not bring himself to leave me yet. He must still have questions. I nod and sit down at the place provide for me. We all eat silently. I love the silence. It is not awkward; it is a comfortable silence, a companionable silence. How I have missed comfortable silence. It is almost as if I am back home, sitting in the courtyard with Father and the others. I blink and shake off the memory. I have to stay in the present, I cannot continue on retreating to the past.

Determined to stay in the present, I concentrate on being conversational, a hard thing for me to be. I try to make small talk, a talent I never learned, but fail miserable. "Well," I start. I glance around, trying to find something to talk about. "The…weather is nice." The knights reply politely and continue on eating. After a few minutes, the knights finished their meal and began to clean things up. I offer to help, but they say it is not needed. Defiantly, I start helping anyway. I am not ignorant; I have been out on the land before. No one says anything and soon we are ready to leave. I head back to the carriage, expecting that they would want to put me back there for the remainder of the day, but to my surprise, Arthur approaches with a second mount.

"I thought you would like some fresh air," he says. I smile, so my antics did not condemn me.

"You've read my mind." I mount horse, noting it's a different one then the one they had me ride before. He was larger and had more spirit. I grin and kick him off. The horse moves magnificently and for a moment, I feel as if I'm riding Apollo again. My fantasy is interrupted by Galahad.

"La…Alexa," he starts.

I smile; he remembered to use my name. "Yes?"

"Ummm…" he mutters. I raise my eyebrow in questioning. "I…"

"Sir Galahad, I cannot answer you if you do not ask a question."

"The lad's tongue tied," Bors inputs.

"What ever for?" I ask, confused to why anyone would be tongue tied around me.

"Might he have a crush on her?" Bors teases.

Galahad burns red. "No, I think not," I say, trying to save him. "I believe he was just trying to keep me company, but did not want to be teased and got a little embarrassed. Is that not so?" I look at him.

"Yes."

"There, you see. Leave him be. Besides, I am practically a married woman." I spit out the word married. I do not like the idea of marrying a complete stranger. "So it would be pointless to flirt with me. It would only break hearts," I say dramatically. They chuckle and we continue to ride on in silence.

The time passes quickly, and soon night is falling. We come to a halt in a glen and set up camp. I groom my mount, speaking to him as I would have done with Apollo. "That's a good boy. If only we could really ride," I mutter. I glance around me. The knights were busy. If I wanted to I could ride off before they could stop me. I am tempted too, but then memories of my last flight return and I decide against it. Perhaps later, when they are all asleep.

We eat dinner and just sit around, the knights talking about pointless things. I wish I could stay with them forever. I don't want to marry this Alecto. I wanted to be free. Soon it is time for sleep and I climb into my carriage and wait for sounds of them to be asleep. Gawain and Tristan have first watch and I watch them, trying to find the right moment to slip away. It comes and I slide out of the carriage and creep to the mount I have ridden all day.

"Shhh," I whisper as I lead him away. "We're going for a run." When we are far enough away that I'm sure they will not hear me, I climb onto the horse's bare back, twist my fingers into his mane, and kick off. The horse jolts and flies. As one, we ride through the darkness. As one, we ride. Oh, how we ride. Everything melts away. I am home on Apollo on one of our midnight rides. Father is at home reading his books, and Mother is planning her week. Not a soul is out. It's just me, Apollo, and the moon. We race the moon. Flying over fences and hills. A ride approaches and I lean in, urging my mount to go faster. We race. Dodging trees and boulders until we break the trees and come to a river, I pull to a stop and wait for the rider to catch up. I smile and wait for him. "I won you C…" Gawain emerges from the woods. I shake my head. I must have gone away again. "Gawain."

Breathing heavily, he replies, "You put up quite a race." He smiles and I laugh.

"I use to race the moon."

He shakes his head. "The moon? Did you win?"

"No, she did." We dismount and let our horses rest.

"What are you doing?" he asks.

"Riding," I reply.

"Why didn't you tell someone?"

"Didn't think I needed too, I would have been back before anyone knew I was gone."

"Arthur would have killed us if he found out you left without someone."

"Is that why you're here?" I ask.

"No, Tristan and I saw you ride off and I volunteered to follow you. I'm not going to force you to go back, but I cannot let you stay out here alone."

"Understandable. You can stay, I suppose."

"Why did you come here?" he asks looking around them.

"I didn't. I just rode as fast as I could. Figured I probably won't be riding like this for a while and needed to get it out of my system before I put on my best lady-like behavior." Gawain laughs. "I wish tonight would never end. Then I wouldn't have to be at the Roman lord's home, trapped there for all eternity." I chuckle. "Forgive me, as you probably have noticed, I have a flair for the dramatics."

"Have you met this man you are to marry?" Gawain asks out of the blue. I look at him, wondering why he would care.

"No," I reply. "Why do you ask?"

"No reason," Gawain says hurriedly. "How can you do it? Marry someone you've never met."

"I don't have much of a choice. The Church seized all of my father's property, including me, and I am only a 'tool' of the Church."

"What if you're not happy?"

"Marriage is not about happiness," I reply bitterly. What is with Gawain asking all these questions?

"Shouldn't it be?"

"Yes, but when politics get involved, happiness is not a requirement."

"You don't sound happy. Do you have someone else?"

I blink. A bit to personal for my liking but I oblige him. "Once. He lived on my father's land. His name was Conn…Constantine. We were best friends growing up."

"He gave you the bracelet."

"Yes," I whisper, remembering that night yet again. I hold the bracelet in my hand. "The bracelet."

"Alexa, I thought you would have known." Conn looks at me. Something new shines from his eyes. I don't know what it is.

"I'm confused."

Conn comes to me. "The bracelet. Remember?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," I say as I shake my head. He looks desperate as if what he is trying to get me to understand is the most important thing on earth.

He leans in to me. "The bracelet," he repeats as he kisses me. The bracelet. Coriel's bracelet! How could I have been so dumb? I had seen the bracelet most of my life and yet I could not recognize it. The bracelet Conn would give to the woman he loved. Then it occurred to me, I wore the bracelet. Conn loves me? I pull back from the kiss.

"What?" I stutter.

"I love you," he whispers, as he holds my face in his hands.

I am dumbfounded as he kisses me again. He loves me. How could I have been so thick as not to get that? As I thought about things, they all began to make sense. The fights with Max, their strange behavior around me, everything added up. "How long?"

"A long time."

"Max? You? Because of me?" There was no need to say more, we both knew what I am talking about.

"Yes."

"Since when?"

"I think the first time I knew it for sure was at your coming out party and you came down the stairs in your gown. You glowed. I could have kissed you then." He kisses me again and then hugs me. "I can't believe it took me this long to tell you."

I blink and turn to look at him. "You where jelous?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I wasn't sure if you felt the same way."

"I'm not even sure. I didn't understand why you were acting so strange around me. I thought you were in love with someone. I was jealous and angry. I didn't want to loose you. But now that I think about it, I love you too. I love you. I knew I loved you when I thought about you marrying another girl." We kiss again and then we dance.

"Alexa?" Gawain asks. I blink and shrug off the floating feeling of the memories.

"What?"

"I asked you what happened too him."

"Who?"

"Constantine."

"He left me."

"Why?"

"Class, money, my mother. Too many reasons to count."

"Do you miss him?

"Some times," I reply. "Why do you ask me such questions?"

Gawain stops and then says, "Just wondering."

I look into his eyes. This time I'm not a fool. I see the same look I saw in Conn's so very long ago. How it happened, I did not know. I've only meet him less then a week ago and yet he wears the same look. I shake my head. "No."