Note: Sorry it took so long, things have been hectic with finals and all the fun stuff. I also apologize for the chapter's lenghth. It is short, but I promise that the next chapter will be longer and up sooner than this one. Thanks for sticking around and have a nice day.

" There is nothing, nothing but darkness..."

written in Alexandrea's Journal

He has not come back. No one has. Not even Fulcinia. The food is gone and I am all dirty again. I had hoped that Conn would come back and save me, but I can see it was only my mind playing tricks on me, yet again. I sit in the dark thinking of Father. I wonder how he is. He could be anywhere, anywhere out there, alone like me. In sleep, I dream of him. He is smiling and happy. Mother is with him. They look younger and in love. I have never seen them like this before. I smile at the image as I wake. They looked happy as they should have been. Something in the back of my mind tells me that they are both happy. I wish I knew for sure.

Time passes, as usual, without me knowing how much of it has passed. I am lost in my own mind. Conn confuses me. I know he helped me and brought me food, but I cannot find it within myself to forgive him completely, nor can I trust him again. It is strange how life turns out. Thinking back on all the foolish dreams I had before any of this happened is strange. All I can say is that being a prisoner was never in any of my dreams.

I hear steps in the hall, for a moment I dare to hope that it is Conn, but I push back the hope and turn away from the door. The door creeks open. "Child," Fulcinia whispers. "I have brought you food." She places a basket of food in front of me and a jug of water next to it. "I'm sorry I could not get here any sooner," she says. "There has been more trouble with Marius." I attack the food, but did not devour it as I would have liked to. I have to keep reminding myself that I have to preserve what little food I have. "Your soldier has not forgotten you," she states. I stare at her, how did she know that? "Shocked, I know. I saw him come visit you when he came. I caught him outside after he left. I advised him not to come back. If he was caught here, you both would be in trouble." It made sense, what Fulcinia is saying.

"You're right," I say.

"Eat child," she says.

"Why hasn't Marius been here?"

She looks at me as if deciding whether or not to tell me. "He has found someone else to focus on for the moment," she says. There is no need for her to say more. I felt guilty, my peace for another's pain.

"How is she?" I ask.

"A native young woman, called Guinevere."

"Guinevere," I whisper. I will remember her in my prayers, that is, when I decide on whom I will be praying to. Certainly not the Roman god, perhaps Father's god, if only I knew who that is.

"She is a fighter," Fulcinia says. Poor Fulcinia, she has so much compassion and kindness to give. The Fates must be playing tricks on her, to pair her with such a horrible man. In her eyes is see an understanding. She has been through this just that she could not get away. She was trapped, not like I am trapped, but just as contained. I wonder if she felt the same sort of liberation with the arrival of another woman to take Marius's focus from his wife. She knows what I am, and now this Guinevere, forced to endure.

"Who was she?" I ask.

"Who?"

"The woman who made Marius stray? Were you as happy to have him leave you alone as I am?"

She shakes her head. "I should not tell."

"Who was she?"

"Your mother." She gets up to leave. "She was a sweet woman. I prayed for her every night. I just wished that she did not have to suffer what I had suffered." She exits. I am too shocked to response. I knew Mother was a slave and that she belonged to Marius. What I didn't want to believe is her only purpose as a slave. I suppose, that somewhere deep inside, I knew but I didn't want to realize it.

I am alone again. My store of happy memories is spent and I have nothing to think about. Oddly, my mind wanders to the knights. It has been a long time since I thought about them. I should have taken Gawain up on his offer and ran away with him, but then that would have been selfish. I could not live with myself if I caused them great pain. I think of the last night before we arrived here, the night Gawain followed me. I still don't understand why he fell for me. Confused, yet the only memories I haven't replayed in my mind to the point of exhaustion, I remember that night, and all of the other nights between meeting the knights and coming here.

I curl up in the corner and think myself away from my cold, dark, existence. I fade in and out of consciousness. Time passes again, without letting me know it. Fulcinia has not come back for a while. I stare off to the darkness and think. To die, that would be excellent. Death would be better than this dark prison I live in. Father would tell me that life is a gift and should not be taken lightly, but when life brings nothing but misery, heartache, and pain, death is a greater gift then life. Father would probably lecture me for thinking this, but he isn't here to do so.

Closing my eyes, I sleep again, escaping to the place where nothing is and stay there as long as I possibly can.