Note: Thanks for the reviews! As promised, a longer chapter. I hope it's okay. Let me know what you think. Thanks!

"It is a dream, it has to be...It has to be..."
Written in Alexandrea's Journal

I dream that they are coming, the knights. I don't know why. If what Fulcinia has told me is true, it has been almost two years since I've arrived. It seems weird. It seems like I've been here for so much longer, and, yet at the same time, it feels like no time has passed at all. It is as if it was only yesterday that Father was taken away, although it has been at least three years since that happened. The knights are probably long gone by now. Their service to Rome is most likely finished, or near completion.

Marius has returned to visit me multiple times, and I miss the solitude I had when he was distracted. I wonder where the other girl went, Guinevere; I asked Fulcinia but she will not tell me.

I think of Father and Mother. I think of home and how I was foolish not to cherish it all while I had it there to cherish. I think of all the things I never appreciated and of the people I never really liked. The life before I came here seems like a dream, a dream of a girl who never existed.

I listen at my door for signs of life. It is unusually silent. There are always a few people outside my door, doing odd jobs. Something had to be wrong. Or am I just being over paranoid? I don't know any more. I don't know anything lately. To most of the nobles back home, I would be considered insane, which I suppose I am. Everything is just a blur and they do not make sense half of the time. The other half of the time, I am lost in my mind.

To my relief, I hear shouting and shrug off my uneasiness. I hear steps coming down the hall. I fall back from the door and go back to my corner. I do not like cringing, but my body cringes without my consent. It is Marius, I think, and he is mad. There is some more shouting, I cannot make it out though, and the door flies open. Light floods into the room, blinding me. I curl up into a ball, with my hands over my head. He is in a rage, he has to be.

"Milady?" a voice says. Why does it sound so familiar? I hear the rustling of cloth and the approaching steps of the voice. "Milady, is that you?" I am touched and I press myself closer to the wall.

"Don't touch her," another voice says. "What ill fate she has suffered to make her this pathetic creature we see."

"Milady, it's alright. We will not hurt you," the first voice says.

"Alexa."

My name, I hear my name and yet it is not Conn, I know that for sure. "Who are you?" I ask hoarsely.

"She speaks," a cynical voice says.

"Lancelot?" I ask, remembering the cynic knight. This had to be another of my illusions. It is a dream. Only a dream.

"I must have made an impression."

"Alexa, we're here to save you," the first voice that shattered my darkness.

"Gawain."

"Yes," he sounds relieved.

"Come on, we have to get her out of here," a third voice says.

"Tristan?"

"Yes, lass. Get her up Gawain, we have to leave before we have visitors."

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"Rescuing you," Gawain jests.

I still cannot see them, but I let Gawain pick me up and carry me out. The sun greets me and I pull back against Gawain's chest. The light hurt my eyes. We walk down some corridors and, eventually, arrive outside. "We have her," Tristan says.

"Put her back!" Marius cries. "She's my property."

"You are being evacuated," I hear Arthur say. "Besides, she is not you property."

I cling to Gawain. I don't know why, perhaps I am afraid that all of this is just a dream and that it will disappear any moment. "It's alright," he whispers to me comfortingly. "We will not leave you here." And I believe him.

"First you free the damned prisoners, and now you take my slaves. You will pay," Marius says venomously.

"Sir, get into your carriage and be quiet," Arthur says sternly. Marius does not reply. I cannot see them, but I assume Marius complied for he did not argue again. I am placed on the ground. I curl up into a ball again to block out the sun.

"What have they done to her?" Galahad asked. "She's so different."

"It's the sun," I hear Fulcinia say. "How would you react if you have not seen the sun for a long time? Hush child, it is alright." I hear her gown rustle beside me and feel the warmth of a cloak placed on my shoulders. "When we have time, I will help you clean yourself up." I pull the cloak firmly around me. It is warm and blocks out the sun.

"What has happened, lady?" Gawain asked.

"Revenge," another voice says, Conn's voice.

"Who are you?" Gawain asks.

"I'm Constantine, Conn."

I peek out to see a look of confusion on Gawain's face. He does not remember me telling him about Conn, or did I not tell him about Conn. I don't remember. It is hard to remember what I said and what was imaginary. Slowly, my eyes adjust to the light. Conn is the same Conn. He kneels beside me, as does Gawain. Both of them look concerned. To my left there is another woman. She looks worse than me.

"Guinevere," Fulcinia calls her, as she drapes another cloak around the other woman's shoulders. I study the woman; she was my savior for those brief moments, days, weeks, months. Arthur kneels between us, inspecting both of us. He catches my eyes, and I see guilt written in his eyes.

"Arthur," I whisper. "It's not your fault." He stares at me.

"I left you here," he says quietly. "I left you here even though I knew something was not right."

"You didn't know," I say softly.

"I still feel responsible."

"No one is responsible except for Marius. He was the one who did everything." He looks down at me. "Father would tell you that there was nothing you could have done. You had your orders. Besides, I am not worth the freedom of you and your knights."

He shakes his head. "Still that same Alexandrea." I smile up at him.

"Did you think I changed that much. Beaten, yes, dispirited, yes, but not completely broken."

"You're your father's daughter," he says. "Pelagius was the same way."

"I know, I know." We grow silent.

"Arthur, we must leave," Tristan says.

"Alright, get them into the spare cart and get the people moving." Arthur picks up the woman, Guinevere. Gawain and Conn bend to pick me up. They stare at each other. Seeing this, Tristan picks me up and carries me towards the carriage.

"Why did you do that?" I ask him.

"Young idiots in love, if we waited for them to decide who would carry you we would be here for ever." He smiles.

"Very observant," I remark.

"It is a bit obvious. Gawain, I noticed when we escorted you here, everyone did, even the bird-brained whelp Galahad, which was why he left you alone. We all figured that Gawain would get over you, but it is obvious he didn't when he demanded to know where you were and searched the hold for you. The other lad, because he came to you when you were brought out, most of the other men of the Roman lord didn't even look one way or the other."

"You see so much."

"Of course, why do you think I'm the scout?" he grins crookedly at me which makes him look like a mischievous boy. I smile.

"Well I am glad you intervened, but I do not need to be carried. I can walk there myself." Tristan nods and sets me down. I am still a bit dazed from the light and I lean on Tristan's arm. He leads me to the cart and helps me in.

"Enjoy the ride," he says and leaves. I look around me. The cart is old and made out of misshaped branches. Inside the woman Guinevere lays with Fulcinia by her side. To my surprise, the large knight, Dagonet, is there with a small boy in his arms. It is strange that such a large man could be so gentle. He holds the boy as if he would break at the slightest bump. I can only imagine where these two people came from. I look at Fulcinia, she shakes her head, and she will not tell me what these two have been through. From the look in her eyes, it must have been some prison far worse than the one that kept me.

We start moving, and I sit in my cloak staring outside. My eyes have stopped hurting. The knights form protective patterns around us. The Roman guards ride around Marius's carriage. I look for Conn, he is not there. I am a bit dazed about everything. I wonder why the knights are here, I know it is not for me. They are evacuating us, but I don't know why. Dagonet is silent and attends to the boy while Fulcinia alternates between me and the other woman. "Tend to her first," I say, looking at Guinevere. "She is worse off. I will live. It's more starvation and lack of sun light, other than that, I have no other wounds." I smile thinly at her. The wounds I have no one can heal.

After a while, Arthur joins us. "How are you?" he asks.

"Living," I reply dryly.

"Did he…" he looks uncomfortable.

"I will live, let's leave it at that," I say, staring at him.

"I just…"

"I know, but there was nothing you or I or any one else could have done. It was fate and it was meant to happen. I don't know why it was meant to happen, but perhaps we shall find out soon enough."

"How can you be so…"

"So what?"

"So trusting."

"Am I trusting?" I ask.

"You do not question what happened to you." If only he knew how much I have questioned it over the past long while he would not look so awe struck.

"I have questioned it. I've questioned everything I've ever known. I have come to the conclusion that it happened and there is nothing we can do now to change it so why dwell on it?" I feel like a hypocrite. All I have done so far is dwell on the past, but it seems to have comforted Arthur a bit.

"There was never meant to be a marriage was there?"

"No, Marius was my mother's old owner. Surprising how things turn out." I smile at him, trying to lighten the mood. It did not work.

"Are you sure you are okay? You're not putting on a brave face for us?"

"Trust me, I'm fine," I smile sweetly at him, lying through my teeth. I'm not fine, far from it, but Arthur did not need to worry about it. When the time comes, everything will be put back to right and then I will be fine.

As if reading my thoughts, Fulcinia looks at me with a knowing look. She knows what I feel; she has been through it herself. If there was ever a person on this island that could understand me it is Fulcinia. Arthur talks for a while longer.

"What are you here?" I finally ask.

"It is our final mission before we can go home," he explains. "Rome is withdrawing and Saxons are invading. So we were sent to retrieve Alecto and his family by order of the Pope."

"Why all the people," I ask, scanning the caravan he had formed.

"I could not leave them there to die."

"Why the bother with the prisoners? Why search for me?"

"I could not leave the prisoners in the Hell they were in. I could not leave you here, I brought you here and I was determined to escort you away. Besides, my knights were very persistent of finding you."

"Strange, I didn't think I made such an impression of them."

"You did. More then any one else would have. I think it was your unorthodox ways that stole my knights' hearts away." He grins at me.

"I think not."

"Indeed," Arthur smiles.

"Might I ride?" I ask him.

"Are you serious?" he looks at me.

"No," I laugh. "Not right now anyway. I just thought it was worth a try."

"I remember what happened last time we let you ride, you got yourself lost."

"I did not," I say defiantly. I laugh. How foolish I was. It seems so very long ago that I came here. It seems so very long ago that I fell down a hole and got stuck. If only I knew what I know now then, life would have been much easier. Arthur says a few more things and then turns his attention to Guinevere.

"How are you?" he asks her. She glares at him with defiant eyes. She has spirit and I can see how she ended up in the prison Fulcinia told me she came from. She looks like one that is not easily subdued. Perhaps she has been taught to fight for she bore herself like a warrior. How I envy her. If only I had been taught how to be a fighter, I would have at least been able to fight back. I must remember to ask Arthur to teach me.

Guinevere seems ill, but she does not fall back as I would have, she lets her spirit hold her up and she stares at Arthur. Her jaw is set firmly and, even though she probably hasn't eaten for as long as I have, she refused to look like she was starved. If one looks hard enough, it is obvious that she is in pain, but she will not let her enemies know that, and Arthur is an enemy until she can decide if he's not one. He asks her some more questions and she answers them with simple, short answers. He does not press her for more, and soon leaves. Once he is gone, Guinevere relaxes a bit and slumps against the side of the cart.

I inspect her closely. If I had a choice on what I could be, I would have chosen to be like Guinevere. Something about her drew one's eye to her. She is strong, determined, independent, and a warrior. I heard some of the knights call her a Woad. From what Father told me, the Woads allow their women to be warriors and support them in their decisions. Women have more liberty among the Woads and I had always envied that. When I was a child, I use to pretend that I was a Woad princess and my father had sent me to be taught how to be a warrior. The fantasy didn't last long. Mainly, because Mother noticed and put a stop to it before I could set my heart on being a warrior woman. I never understood why the Romans wanted their women silent, frail, and proper; it made no sense and it is very unfair.

Guinevere looks at me. "So, this is the Roman lady."

I blink at her; it takes a few minutes to register that she is talking to me. "Yes."

"I've heard about you," she says. I stare at her. I have no idea where she could have heard of me. Marius certainly would not have mentioned me. "Fulcinia," she says when she notices my confused look.

"Oh," I answer. Why Fulcinia would tell her about me is beyond me.

"I assume you've heard of me," she says, trying to strike a conversation.

I nod.

"You should get rest, both of you," Fulcinia says. We look at her and nod. She is the closet thing I have to a mother and she has done much for me; the least I could do is obey her. She knows more than I do about injuries and healing. From the look of Guinevere, she has more physical wounds than I. She needs the rest to recover.

We settle down. Guinevere falls asleep but I don't. I watch Dagonet with Fulcinia looking over the boy. The boy is small and feverish. I heard Lancelot remark that he would not live the night. If Dagonet had anything to do with it, the boy would live. The look in Dagonet's eyes tells much. He has formed an attachment to the small boy. A giant and a dwarf, different but together completed. A strange thought, but Mother always said things like that; they were her types of proverbs, for lack of a better word.

My mind begins to wander and I reflect on what has happened. Well, not exactly reflect. I just think things over. The same things race through my mind that has been running around in my mind ever since I was placed in the dark room. My mind is spent from so much solitude. All of my memories and fantasies have been played out so many times that they are not comforting. I try to think of other things and sleep, but I am too restless. Spending so much time in a dark, enclosed space has made me fidgety and the thought of the sun, fresh air, and freedom just outside is too overpowering for me to sleep and I get up. Fulcinia looks at me, but she does not stop me. I think she knows how I feel. I climb out of the cart, actually I fall out. Thud, I hit the ground. My body is not use to such movements and I sit on the ground for a few minutes.

I hear laughter and look up. Tristan and Lancelot are next to me on their mounts. "Nice flying," Lancelot laughs.

"Thank you," I say.

"Should you be out?" Tristan asks.

"What do you men out? Am I some animal that needs to be kept under lock and key?"

"I mean…"

I grin. "I think the exercise will do me good. Besides, I have to get reacquainted with the sun. I have missed him. Now, if you could be a gentleman and help me up I would appreciate it." Tristan dismounts and helps me up. "Thank you."

"Should you be walking," Tristan asks. "You seem a bit unsure on your feet."

"I will be fine; I just need to move around for a bit to get my bearings."

"I think some one should walk with you, just to make sure you don't fall over," Tristan smiles wickedly.

"I suppose that someone would be you," I retort.

"Yes, unless you would rather have Gawain and your Roman guard fighting over the pleasure of escorting you."

"Point taken, I don't think I have the strength to deal with them now. You will do fine." He grabs the reins of his mount and drapes them over his arm.

Lancelot snickers. "Indeed, this is a sight. Tristan, have you fallen under her ladyship's spell as well?"

"No, but young men are foolish and I believe I am helping her. How would you like having Gawain and another man out for your attentions?" Tristan says in mock debate.

Lancelot laughs. "I fear I shall never have such a feeling. It must be terrible though, especially with one of the men being Gawain for he is an absolute moron."

The men break out in laughter. I smile. It is fun being with them. I had forgotten what it was like to smile. "It is a pity that they will both have to go away broken hearted," I jest. "My heart has been taken by some one else."

"Who might that be?" Lancelot asks.

"You," I smile sweetly, before I break into giggles at the look of horror that comes across Lancelot's face. The men laugh and we continue on. Tristan guiding me along on foot and Lancelot following along side us. It is strange that these two knights seem to be around but it is better than having Gawain and Conn hanging over me. I have a feeling that Arthur has something to do with the lack of Gawain and Conn. I am grateful and must remember to thank him.