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Harry felt the unsettling squeeze when he was apparated with Moody. He abruptly landed on a dirt floor in a heap. Moody stepped over him and disappeared through a canvas door. Harry sat up and looked around. He was sitting in the center of a canvas tent with nothing but a cot and desk and chair in it. This tent was nothing like the one the Weasley family had used during the Quidditch World Cup. This tent was just canvas and poles with not so much as a window. There was an old fashioned lantern swinging from the center pole that gave off odd shadows.
Harry was so exhausted from purging the pain potion out of his system that he didn't even care that he was sitting on the dirt ground. He sank back onto the ground while pulling his cloak tighter around his shivering body. He was still in shock over Severus actually sending him away to train. His father had promised him he wouldn't let that happen. He hated Severus with a vengeance, hated him more than Voldemort. Betrayal was a cold companion. He tried not to think of his father falling to the ground back at home. Exhaustion took hold and it wasn't long before he passed out on the cold dirt floor.
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Harry awoke to the smell of bacon and eggs cooking. For a moment he thought he was home, until he sat up and looked around. He was still on the ground. It didn't surprise him that Moody wouldn't think to come in and help him to bed. He stood up on shaky legs and dusted as much dirt off himself as possible.
When he emerged from the tent he saw the place that was to be his new home for the foreseeable future. He was in a giant dry ravine, between two large craggy mountains. The ravine was about as wide and long as the main street of Hogsmeade. Ironically, Harry thought it was the perfect place to train. He couldn't hurt anyone here with errant hexes or blocks.
He saw the group of Aurors sitting around a large fire cooking their meal. A row of tents like the one he slept in last night was lined up next to his own.
"Slept in, did you?" Moody said in an accusing tone. "This is the last day you'll be doin that. Come on over and let's go over some ground rules." Moody pulled out his wand and another crate slid over to the fire.
Harry looked at all the Aurors before taking a seat. Besides Moody there was Shacklebolt, Tupin and Tonks. Tonks smiled at him and patted his arm reassuringly.
"No Tonks, they'll be none of that. The boy is not to be coddled or pampered," Moody barked out harshly. Tonks agreed and moved her hand away from Harry.
"We're here to train you to fight Voldemort. The faster you catch on the faster you get back to Hogwarts. End of story. No owls comin or goin, no visitors, no complaining. Got that?" Moody's tone was authoritarian.
Harry looked down, not about to agree to anything. As far as he was concerned the first opportunity he had to get out of here he would take.
Moody whipped his wand out and Harry felt a sharp sting to his arm.
"Ouch, what the hell do you think your doing?" Harry screamed at the Auror.
Moody stood up and the other Aurors looked at him with alarm.
"When I ask you a question you answer 'yes sir' or 'no sir'. You got that boy?"
Harry rubbed his arm as flashbacks of Vernon began to flood his head. "Yes sir," he said in a defeated voice. He knew exactly how to behave when someone like Vernon was in charge.
"Now here's the rules; Number one, you will be up at dawn to begin exercises with Tupin. Breakfast will follow. You will eat a special cereal designed to help you build muscle mass. No complainin. Got it?" Moody asked and gripped his wand.
Harry looked wearily at the wand, "Yes sir." So, no bacon and eggs then. Figures.
"Next you will have training with me. I don't want to hear any belly achin over any pain you suffer for not holdin up blocks. If you don't want to get hurt then you better learn how to block. Severus isn't here to hold your hand or put you to bed. Got it?"
Harry was filled with anger over the mention of his father, "Yeah, but I don't want to get into any trouble when you get hit with one of my hexes either!" A bolt of lightening came at him in a flash, hitting him in the same spot on the arm.
"Ouch! Shit, what the hell are you trying to do!" Another bolt of lightening came his way, this time hitting him on the leg. Maybe he better keep his mouth shut, he thought.
"Need more lessons boy?" Moody said in a condemning tone.
Harry whipped his head up to look at Moody. Those were the same exact words Vernon used during his so called lessons. "Um, no sir," Harry answered quietly.
Moody smiled, "Just do as you're told and we'll get along just fine."
Harry looked at the other Aurors. They all had their heads down or were turning away. Tonks looked like she might be holding back from yelling at the ex-Auror.
"Tonks and Shacklebolt will take turns training you in the afternoon. You're to get all your studying done by nightfall. When the sun goes down, you go to bed. You don't come out of your tent at night. There are all sorts of creatures around here that will be happy to help Voldemort out and have you for supper. The most important rule is that you never leave the ravine. As long as you stay in here Voldemort can't trace your whereabouts. If you go past that mountain you better be prepared to be punished. Understand boy?"
"Yes sir," Harry answered with a large lump forming in his throat.
Moody seemed satisfied with his answer and handed him a large bowl of what looked like oatmeal.
"I'm not hungry sir," Harry said as he looked into the bowl.
"I didn't ask you if you were hungry. You eat everything you are given no matter what. I don't care if I have to force it down your throat!" Moody spat out in exasperation. "This here is a magical cereal that will help you to gain muscle mass."
Harry believed the ex- Auror would force it down his throat. He grabbed hold of the spoon and forced himself to eat the bland food. It settled in his stomach like a rock.
When he was finished he looked around for his trunk. "Sir? Could I have my trunk?"
Moody stopped eating his bacon and eggs to look at the boy, "Don't have it yet. I'm goin back tomorrow so you'll have to make do until then."
"Will you bring Hedwig back too?" Harry asked with hope. He couldn't stand to be away from his bird after what they had endured together.
"There's no need for any owls around here," Moody snarled out.
Harry dropped his head into his hands, not caring that the other Aurors where watching him. He wanted to scream in frustration over being trained like a damned animal. He hated it here, hated Moody and most of all hated Severus for making him come here.
Training with Moody proved to be a lesson in agony. Every time Harry didn't move fast enough or hold a block up long enough he would get punished. The punishments were swift and without mercy. Harry came to dread the thought of getting hit with another stinging zap to his arms or legs. He did pick up the pace and try though. By the end of the day he was nervous and jumpy for fear of getting zapped. The worst part though was Moody yelling at him not to show pain when he got hit.
When the day was finally was over Harry sat on his bed and looked at his bruised arms and legs with consternation. He couldn't believe that Severus was subjecting him to this sort of treatment. The man was always talking about not laying hands on him in anger yet sent him to get pummeled for not moving fast enough. The irony of this situation was not lost on him. Harry didn't think he would ever forgive Severus for this total betrayal.
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The following week went much like that first day. By the end of the week Harry finally decided that back talking and disagreeing was not beneficial to his health. He held his tongue when Mad Eye taunted his poor skills. It was an awful feeling to be so helpless and restrained. Without meaning to, Harry's survival instincts kicked in and he became obedient to all the commands that he was told to do.
For Moody's part he knew what he had to do. With any basic training you broke the person down before building them back up. Potter was no exception except that the boy seemed to conform more quickly than most. It did plant a seed of concern in the old Auror when the boy stopped fighting back so soon into the training. He knew the boy's past and worried that the abuse the boy suffered in the past was contributing to Potter's sudden conformity. It wouldn't do to have the boy lose the fortitude he had seen in class.
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On the seventh day Harry was working on hexes with Moody and failing dismally. For some reason he couldn't muster the energy to throw the spells very far. Moody had zapped him a few times, hoping that would drive the boy into trying harder.
Harry couldn't take it anymore and was filled with fury and hate towards the man. He gathered those feelings and shot a hex back at the Auror that knocked him onto his back. Moody stood up and shouted words of praise. To Harry they sounded like words of horror. So, was that what Moody wanted him to become? Did he want him to learn hexes and curses driven by hatred and fear? It became plain to Harry that Moody didn't care how he came about achieving those spells, as long as he could do them.
That was not who Harry wanted to become. Ever since he heard about Voldemort he had feared he would become just like him. He didn't want to gain power through fear and hatred. He needed to get away from this place before he lost himself. He needed to find someone to help him escape.
By the end of the day it became apparent that no one would help him get away.
He tried talking with Tonks but she would just shake her head and walk away. He just wanted to get a message to Dumbledore, but the pink haired Auror refused. Training was the only thing she would talk with him about.
After a few more attempts Tonks finally said, "If I help you contact anyone at the school then I'll be sent away. Do you really want me sent away Harry?"
Harry knew she was the only thing stopping Moody from getting harsher with him. His shoulders slumped in defeat, "No, I guess not."
"Just train as best you can so you can go back sooner," said Tonks encouragingly.
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The next day after lunch he had another training session with Moody. Moody took him up the craggy mountain. Harry stood near the top of the mountain and looked around at the heavy terrain on the other side. The other side of he mountain was filled with dark ominous trees and oddly shaped rocks.
Moody spat out, "Don't go getting any ideas about making a run for it. That forest is haunted by some dark creatures. This here is as close as you should get to that place."
Harry nodded his head, feeling a little more hope of getting out of here slip away.
"Potter, we're working on a pretty advanced curse today. I know some of the Death Eaters were using it on us during the Hogsmeade fiasco," Moody said and watched as the boy ducked his head in shame.
"Is it the same curse that brought Severus down?" Harry asked uncomfortably.
"No, that curse is dark magic. I'll not be teachin you that stuff. This curse is as close to dark magic as we're goin to get. It will bring a grown man down in a flash if he gets hit with it. Now you got to muster up as much magical energy as you can from the surrounding area and use it to block this curse. I'll start out with a weak variation so as I don't hurt you," Moody said and moved away from the boy. "Get your block up boy!"
Moody raised his wand pointing it directly at the dark haired teen, "Acerbitas!"
The bolt of lightening shot at Harry and broke through his block. Harry felt the dark energy in the hex before he crumbled to the ground. Moody made his way back to the boy, "Ennervate!"
"Come on boy! You've got to try harder than that!" the frustration was evident in Moody's voice.
Harry tried but his heart just wasn't in this, he refused to pull in the dark energy that inhabited these mountains. He pulled as much good energy as he could but the block failed again. The next thing he knew he was being woken up by Moody once more.
"I'm goin to push you till you get this block down boy. I don't care if it takes us all night!" He pointed his wand at the boy and zapped him for good measure. Harry flinched but didn't cry out or that would earn him another zap. He stood up and brushed the dirt from his cloak.
Harry tried again, he really tried. He was getting tired of hitting his head on the craggy rocks every time the curse broke through his block. He was trying not to let his anger control him. Trying not to become powerful through anger.
Moody didn't let up. He didn't cut the boy any slack. After several more failed attempts he began to get concerned for the teen. The boy's head was bleeding in a few different spots from being smacked down to the ground. It wouldn't be wise to hurt Severus' son permanently. Moody knew Severus was beyond reason when it came to his son. If the Potion Master knew how his son was being trained, Moody had no doubts he would have a fight on his hands. The ex-Auror was wise enough to realize he wouldn't be on the winning end of that fight either.
When Harry came to he saw Moody walking away from him and heading back to camp. So, the old Auror must have given up on him, huh? He stood up and felt hot sticky liquid running down his face. He knew it was blood but didn't care.
Harry went back to camp with his heart void of hope. Nothing really mattered anymore. He went into his tent not complaining about his head to anyone. It was easy for him to live with pain without complaining, he had Vernon to thank for that. He sat down on his bed and waited to be called out to supper. A supper that consisted of the bland tasting disgusting goop.
When Tonks came in to get him she was shocked over his appearance. Harry hadn't bothered to wipe away the blood from his head or face. She carefully tended to his wounds, with the intention of giving Moody a piece of her mind.
Moody stormed into the tent reprimanding Tonks for disobeying rules and helping Harry tend to his wounds. Tonks yelled back at Moody that he was being too hard on Harry.
The fight was escalating until Harry finally spoke up, "Professor Moody's right, I should learn how to tend to my own wounds. Sorry sir, it was my fault."
After that Harry made sure to not accept anymore help. He didn't need the guilt of getting someone else in trouble.
After supper Harry went back into his tent to begin his studies. He could hear Tonks and Moody fighting about him before Moody put up a privacy spell. He finished his work and fell into another dreamless black sleep.
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Harry followed directions as if he was on auto pilot. He did everything he was told but the life was quickly being drained from him. By the second week all the Aurors had noticed.
Moody couldn't punish the boy because he had been doing everything he was told. The boy would only speak when spoken to and answer back with 'yes sir' and 'no sir'. How could you force someone to have passion for what they were doing? It was transparent to Moody that the boy had lost heart and was falling into a depression.
To become a good fighter you had to have mind, body and soul committed to the challenge. Moody decided he needed help. He had a high stake in getting this boy into top form; his life depended on it as did the rest of the Wizarding World's.
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Back at the school, Severus sat in his office looking over the daily report from Moody. It seemed that his son was doing quiet well with his training. It had hurt Severus terribly to send his son away but he didn't have a choice. The boy needed constant supervision and with the dark curse still plaguing him it just wasn't possible for him to keep a close eye on the boy. Severus dropped his head into his hands as he thought back to the day he sent Harry away. The look of betrayal on Harry's face had stayed with him as if it were carved in stone.
Severus had come to the awful realization that Harry must have been deeply troubled to resort to pain potions to mask his emotions. He felt so terribly guilty for not addressing the abuse Harry had suffered in his past. Especially after bringing those feelings to the service after the Order meeting. Why hadn't he pushed Harry into talking about it?
Before sending Harry away, he had told himself that he would join his son as soon as he was strong enough. Help to train him and help him emotionally recover from the past year. But the reports coming in were so good that Severus thought maybe Harry was better off training without him. This was the first time in his life that he was lacking confidence in how to proceed.
After Harry left Severus had collapsed on the bedroom floor. It was another two days before he was conscious again. He woke up in the infirmary with Ella Fairchild by his side. It had been a nice surprise to see her again. Their bond had once been strong.
"I sent my son away," Severus informed Ella.
"Yes, I heard as much," replied the serious witch. "I hear he is doing fine though."
Severus knew the Order members would have been apprised of Harry's performance by now. "That is good to know. I fear he will hate me before this is over."
"Severus, I've never seen a child so devoted to his parent before. It would take much more to make your son hate you," Ella said with support.
"Harry has been through so much though. He needs to know that I am not abandoning him to Moody. Moody has asked that I refrain from contacting my son for a few weeks," Severus said dryly.
"Perhaps it will help Harry to acclimate to his surroundings, Severus," Ella suggested.
Severus went against his better judgment and decided not to contact his son for a week or two. He wanted to make this transition as easy as possible for the boy. He missed him more than he thought possible. Everyday he made the long walk up to the owlry to sit with Hedwig for a bit. He felt somewhat closer to his son in the bird's presence.
Now the two weeks were up and he read the report once again. His son had gained weight, was following the schedule and had surpassed his training schedule. If Harry was doing so well then why did he have a feeling of underlying dread? Severus couldn't shake the feeling and thought he would send someone he trusted to check up on his son. He knew if he went himself he would bring the boy back with him if his son requested. The reality was that Harry had no choice but to learn to defend himself against Voldemort and the Death Eaters. He wouldn't be a very good father if he brought Harry home simply because he missed him.
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Ron and Hermione were shocked when they heard that Harry was gone. Ginny was beside herself and avoided Snape at all costs. They couldn't believe that Snape had actually sent Harry away. Ron was angry at the professor and let the man know it the first chance he had.
Snape had been absent from class but had finally returned by the time Harry had been gone for five days. Ron waited until just he and Snape were alone in the classroom.
"Excuse me sir, may I have a word with you," Ron asked in a controlled voice. The man still looked ill but that wasn't going to stop Ron from giving him a piece of his mind.
Severus stopped what he was doing and gave his son's best friend his full attention. "Yes, Mr. Weasley?"
"I just wanted you to know how crummy I think it was that you sent Harry away. He was counting on you to protect him from Moody and that bunch," Ron said heatedly.
Severus raised an eyebrow, "You have no idea of what you speak. I'll spare you the sordid details but my son was not in control of his actions."
"Oh, you mean that pain potion he took?" Ron blurted out before realizing he just revealed too much.
Severus walked around to the front of his desk and looked down with fury at Weasley. Ron tried to step back but bumped into the desk.
"Of what do you know about the pain potion?" Severus said in clipped tones.
Ron paled as he thought back to the day he and Harry took the potion; Hogsmeade day!
"Oh well, it was just one time Professor," Ron stammered out as he saw the professor reach for his wand. He felt a tickle in his brain then the professor lowered his wand. What the hell just happened?
Severus saw into Weasley's memories. He saw the day his son took the pain potion with his friend. He had to control his anger towards Weasley when he realized it was Hogsmeade day. He also saw the reason why Harry was feeling ill enough to want the potion. The party and alcohol up in the Astronomy Tower would be dealt with severely.
"I hope that party for Ms. Weasley was worth getting detention for the next month," Severus said in a controlled voice. "You may inform your fellow classmates that everyone who attended will be punished severely."
This was not how Ron pictured this scenario going. He stumbled towards the door not exactly sure what just took place. From then on Snape was in a horrible mood. Every class was filled with ridicule and points being taken. Snape was in such a foul mood that he even took points from Slytherin.
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Harry lay on his stomach across the cot. Today he was being given a few precious hours to himself. It was the first 'free time' he had in two weeks. He didn't really have anything special he wanted to do so he just stayed in his tent. He had his chin on his arms when the tent door opened. Harry was shocked to see Ms. Fairchild walk in.
"Hello Harry, may I have a word with you?" Fairchild asked kindly.
Harry sat up and pushed his hair back from his face. Right away Ella noticed how much the boy had filled out. His face no longer was thin but had a fullness she wouldn't have thought possible in such a short time. His arms looked more muscular as did the rest of his body. Severus would be pleased to hear that Harry did look much healthier.
Harry waited patiently for the tall witch to begin. He pushed the chair towards Ms. Fairchild and watched her take a seat next to his cot.
"I am here at the request of your father," Ms. Fairchild began. "Whatever you choose to tell me will stay between us, I promise. My job at St. Mungo's is to heal the mind. I've taken an oath to keep our conversation between us."
Right away Harry shook his head and flopped back down onto his stomach, turning his head away from the witch. "You can tell my so called father to go to hell," mumbled out Harry as he closed his eyes.
"Why are you so angry with him Harry," came a soft voice.
"Oh, let's see, where do I begin … maybe because he sent me here to get my assed kicked on a daily basis… or maybe because he put a mad man in charge of my training … or better yet because he decided I made one too many mistakes and sent me away!" Harry unintentionally screamed out the last part. Angry at himself for losing control.
"That is not true. He's doing it for you, Harry."
He felt a gentle hand rub his shoulder. He moved out of her reach, "Don't okay? I'm not allowed to have anyone touch me while I'm here."
"What do you mean?"
"Moody doesn't want anyone treating me like a child, that's all. I'll get in trouble if he catches you touching me," said Harry in a tired voice.
This last statement bothered Ella more than any of the other accusations.
"Don't worry I don't really want anyone touching me anyways," Harry said when he saw the alarm on Ms. Fairchild's face. Shit, if he told her about Moody hitting him with hexes all day she might have a heart attack.
"Auror Tonks told me that she is concerned for you. She thinks you are depressed."
Harry snorted at that, "Look all I want to do is…" Harry suddenly stopped talking as he realized he didn't have a home to get back to. Severus sent him away, he couldn't go back there. Dumbledore must have approved this for it to take place so even Hogwarts was not an option. He was truly on his own now. That thought shook him to the core.
"What is it Harry? What are you thinking?" Fairchild asked softly.
"Nothing, I'm fine," Harry said in near whisper.
"Harry, are you really fine? Severus is concerned about your state of mind."
"Does he want me to stay here?"
"He said to tell you that he expects excellence from you. That he's getting reports and hopes you do your best right through the end," Fairchild said kindly. Severus had discussed the best way to motivate his son without making him yearn for home. They both agreed that supporting the Order was best for everyone involved.
Harry took it a completely different way. He heard something underlying in those comments. In his ears he heard his father say "don't come home until you succeed". His heart dropped for fear of not being good enough. He knew he had never been good enough for Vernon and now Severus would abandon him for failing. He could never be good enough at everything that was expected of him.
He sat up and looked at the kind witch before him. "I understand," Harry said pensively, "You can tell Severus that I won't ask to come home. And that I'm sorry I messed up, I don't deserve to be forgiven."
Ms. Fairchild looked at him uncertainly. She didn't know how to take his last comments. She didn't have time to question Harry because the tent door opened and in walked Moody.
Harry shot up off the bed and stood at attention. "Yes Sir."
Moody looked from Fairchild to Potter. "It's getting dark out. Potter needs his rest," Moody stated flatly.
"Yes sir," Harry said in a firm voice.
Ella stood up, not quite able to pinpoint what bothered her so much about this scene. She knew the boy was in a training program but wasn't prepared for his sudden obedience to the ex-Auror.
"Would you mind if I came back for another visit? " Ms. Fairchild asked.
Harry looked at Moody then back at Ms. Fairchild, "I think I best just focus on training right now."
Ms. Fairchild bade them both a farewell and left to report back to Severus.
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Harry followed orders and went right to bed. He looked up at the canvas ceiling thinking about his conversation with Ms. Fairchild. Severus must still care about him somewhat if he was worried enough to send a mind healer. But Severus had sent the message that made it abundantly clear that he was not to return home until he mastered this training.
Harry thought about all the horrible lies he had told his father. Lies that would enable him to get high. Not only had he lied to Severus but had stolen potion, yelled at him and even told the man that he hated him. Shame like he never felt before washed over him in giant waves. How could he treat his last hope of family like that? He hated himself even more and wished he had some of the pain potion just to help forget about the rotten things he said and did. The more he thought about his behavior the more he couldn't blame his father for sending him away.
He needed to tell Severus how sorry he was for all the hideous things he had done. He had to just get a message to him and ask his forgiveness. In the mean time he vowed to train harder than ever before. If his father was getting reports then he had to make sure they showed nothing but his best. Without Severus he had no future worth looking forward to. He would make up for all those awful things he did to his father by training beyond expectation.
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The next morning Harry was ready for his exercise program. He ran harder and faster than ever before. Tupin actually commended him when the training ended. Moody noticed the difference in his charge after their first round of blocks and spells. The boy was quick and shot back spells with ease. He didn't praise the boy but did offer to let him eat the same food everyone else had for lunch.
Later that day Moody put Potter through his paces, checking to see that the boy had actually retained everything he had learned this morning. Towards the end of the training session Moody could tell the boy was bordering on exhaustion. He could no longer hold his blocks and his spells were falling short. Moody didn't feel the need to punish him because Potter was doing a fine job of punishing himself.
When the session ended Moody walked up to Potter and asked, "You had those spells down Potter, what happened?"
Harry looked nervous when he answered, "Sir, you're not going to report that to Severus are you? I'll get it right, I promise."
"We'll see," said Moody as he realized why the boy was being so hard on himself. Potter was concerned that Snape would hear about his poor performance. Moody thought this bit of information could work to his advantage. Maybe Potter would work harder if he thought Severus demanded it of him.
Moody stood back and watched as Potter continued practicing until he got the spell right. Oh yes, this bit of information would definitely be advantageous.
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TBC