"To have Lost"

By: Anoke

Disclaimers: I Don't own Dragonball Z Or "Life of my own" By 3 doors down

Notes: I just realized in the first chapter I put " Sorry if it sucks it's my first fic." I copied and pasted all the disclaimers and ages from my previous story and I forgot to take that out. Sorry for the mix up!

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Living risky, never scared, wander

Closer to the edge

Nothing valued think no fear, always

Wondering why youre here

All your purposes are gone, nothings

Right and nothings wrong

Nothing ventured, nothing gained

Feel no sorrow, feel no pain

Surprisingly I found a place to live, I found a home.. For how long though? Will it be the same as before? Will I be turned away? Is there something wrong with me? Maybe dad had every right not to want me.. Maybe I was the problem.. Maybe I shouldnt have blown up in his face, if I did I never would of left. Agh! But what kind of life was I living? The life they wanted me to live? Yes.. If I wasent training for my father I was studying for my mother. Was my mother wrong for wanting to have me? Would any of our family care if I just dropped off the face of the earth and never returning? Will they feel sorrow? Will they feel pain? I have been gone for almost a month. No one has gone looking for me?

Kiss me while Im still alive

Kill me while I kiss the sky

Let me die on my own terms, let me

Live and let me learn

Now Ill follow my own way, and ill

Live on to another damn day

Freedom carries sacrifice, remember when this was my life

Have they? Do I care if they have? Would I gladly go back to capsule corp to be with my family?
Or will I have to be forced to return to my prison and be the outcast? Everyone always said im overreacting that everything will be okay! Do I look okay! I left the only place I knew, I left my family and friends, I told my father I don't want to be his son anymore IS THIS OKAY TO EVERYONE! Maybe they just didnt care. I was always the screw up in ChiChi's eyes.. Atleast at capsule corp my family was smart enough not to talk about me behind my back while I was around. At the Son's house.. I was in the NEXT room and ChiChi and the others were bad talking me. Am I really so bad that I cant be loved or even cared for?

Looking forward, not behind

Everybodys got to cross that line

Free me now to give me a place,

Keep me caged and free the beast

Falling faster, time goes by, fear is

Not seen through these eyes

What there was will never be, now

Im blind and cannot see

That is all I want. Just one person to love me, to care that im alive and breathing.. My father already told me he never wanted me. But you would think over the years he would learn to care a little bit, right? Wrong! If the person is unlovable, no matter how many years go by, they will just be your burden, the one you are forced to watch over, the one you are forced to show interest in why do they all have to lie? Why not just take off their mask's and show me their true self. Am I being childish? Thinking these things? If it wasent true why wouldnt anyone come for me? Maybe they think I need my space? Maybe they cant find me...?

Kiss me while Im still alive

Kill me while I kiss the sky

Let me die on my own terms, let me

Live and let me learn

Now Ill follow my own way, and ill

Live on to another damn day

Freedom carries sacrifice, remember when this was my life

I wish just one person will come, just to prove I have one person to live for. I love them all but what is loving a person if you get no love back? Why should you care? Why should you want to die for them when they can careless if you live or die? Maybe my father cares if I live or die. No matter how much I was unwanted no matter how much he hates the sight of me, I am still his son. Nothing can change that, not his words of hatred, not my words.. Nothing can change the blood flowing through my veins. If I died he wouldnt have his punching bag. No my father never abused me. His words did the worst part. Maybe I was lucky for that? Maybe it could have been worse, my father could have beat me with his hatred... But wasent his words bad enough? His words could tear you into on the inside. He would just mock me afterwords! Am I lucky? Or am I just stupid for taking it all those years?..

Kiss me while Im still alive

Kill me while I kiss the sky

Let me die on my own terms, let me

Live and let me learn

Now Ill follow my own way, and ill

Live on to another damn day

Freedom carries sacrifice, remember when this was my life

I was snapped out of my train of thoughts when I heard someone coming, I peak around the corner only to see my father walking angrily up the path.. What does he want? To spit in my face? I wont go back with him I wont! He turns the corner and see's me. I wont run from him, he will just think im a coward for it

"Your coming home Brat" he says coldly

"No. This is my home and im not leaving!" I say with the same coldness in my voice

"Oh is that what you think?" He says as he's grabbing the back of my neck

No.. He cant be taking me back there! Why why does he care if im there or gone? why did it have to be him to come? i already know he doesnt care!
Agh! Why cant I have a LIFE OF MY OWN?

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Okay end of another chapter, was it good? I chose the song Life of my own By 3 doors down, because I thought it fit the song

Note: if you want to listen to any of the songs I posted in my fic, just mail me and I can send you them if you'd like.

Next Chapter will be up shortly review and tell me how im doing :D