"To have Lost"
By: Anoke
Disclaimers: I Don't own Dragonball Z Or "Cold" By Crossfade
Remember! This is now in Vegeta's POV
Vegeta might be a LITTLE bit out of character.
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As my wife leaves the room, im searching my thoughts for the words. The words that will make everything alright with my son. I had no idea I hurt him like this all these years. Have I really been turning into my own father? The one person I never wanted to be like? How? How could I become him without even knowing it myself? I never wanted to act this way, to make him seem like he was nothing. But I guess what I told him didnt really help the situation..
Looking back at me I see that I
Never really got it right
I never stopped to think of you
I'm always wrapped up in things I cannot win
You are the antidote that gets me by
Somethin' strong like a drug that gets me
High
"Trunks.. I.. I need to talk to you" I began
"Yeah? About what are you going to tell me? what a screw up I am? Or I better just deal with it?" My son asks
"No I wasent going to say that! Damnit Trunks this is hard to say" I try to tell him!
"You've already said enough dad" He tells me
He wont listen to me.. Is this how I was acting to him? I didnt mean to be so hard on him, of course im going to be strict, and punish him when he does wrong. But I don't think this is about a punishment.. Its deeper then that. How can I make him see I didnt mean what I said? Without making it seem im just telling him that? It would be a lot easier if he wasent as stubborn as me
What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold
What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so Cold, to you,
If I say im sorry all he will do is think im just telling him that so he will behave. I am sorry for what I said and the way I treated him but that is how you got treated on Planet Vegeta, I tried to change but I couldnt this is the way I am, but I never wanted to be my father... I never wanted Trunks to hate me the way I hated my father, yes I loved my dad, but I hated what he was.. Even though that was how you were to act on planet vegeta I still always wished for some attention from my father...
I'm sorry 'bout all the lies
Maybe in a different life
You can see me stand on my own again
'Cause now I can see
You were the antidote that got me by
Somethin' strong like a drug that got me
High
He doesnt seem to get that he means everything to me! He is my son! He has my blood flowing through my veins! He is me! I would die for him... have I turned him away from his sister? I always treated her better because I wanted to do right and not raise her the way I raised Trunks, but along the process I forgot I needed to change the way I treated him.. Treating my daughter different would do no good if I never stopped acting that way towards trunks.. Why was I so stupid?
What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold
What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold
I just need him to see.. I need him to know that I care!
I never meant to be
So cold
"Trunks... I " I began but he cut me off
"Would you just stop acting like you care?" he screamed
"Agh!" I yelled
I have had enough with his attitude! No matter how I treated him or anything I am his father and he will listen to what I have to say! If he wants things right again he will have to sit down and shut up! I grabbed him by the back of his neck, when I did so he shut his eyes.. Does he think im going to hit him? Normally yes that is what I would have done.. To tell you the truth thats what I would like to do!..
"I just need you to listen.. For one minute" I say while releasing him from my hold
"What?" he asks shakily
I never really wanted you to see
The screwed up side of me that I keep
Locked inside of me so deep
It always seems to get to me
"What I said in the gravity room, part of it.. It was true.. " I tell him
"What?... why are you - " I cut him off before he could say anything else
"The part I was lying about was saying you are nothing. You arnt nothing! You are my son, a Prince.. " I told him
"And you were telling the truth.. You never wanted me...?" he asks in a whisper
"Yes.. But not what you think! it is true I never wanted to be a father. But the day you were born. It was the happiest day I could remember" I told him
"What?" he asks
"Yes.. I do care for you son, you've always made me proud" I tell him
I never really wanted you to go
So many things you should have known
I guess for me there's just no hope
"Maybe now.. Maybe nowyou can see that I did care. Even when I didnt show it! I did care! You may not know it but everyn ight when you were sick or had a bad dream I wanted to come in and comfort you.. But my pride wouldnt let him. I always thought to myself ..You're a sayian you can handle it.. Or I would just pass it off as your mothers job.. And for that my son.. I am truly sorry" I tell him..
He is just staring at me. His eyes so much like his mothers, but his face so much like mine, he is the one that made me realize I cared for his mother, I always knew I cared for her. But I was to proud to show it until he was born.
What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold
"Son?" I ask him unaware of his feelings right now
"So .. You do care? And all of this could have been prevented if we just had a little talk?" he asks
"heh.. I suppose your right... Trunks I.. ..I do.. You I know I do.." I began finding it difficult just to say thoughs three words
"I know dad.. I know.. I do to. And im sorry for acting like a childish brat" I tells me
"Hah. I cant blame you.. After all you are a child and a brat.." I laugh
"Oh very funny.. .Dad..." he asks me
"Huh? What is it?" I ask him
" can I come home now?" he asks
"Heh... you are home." I tell him with my famous smirk
I get no reply from him, just the same smirk.. He is so much like me..
What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold
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Okay this is Vegeta's point of view.. I hope it turned out good I tried to make it not so much OOC but still make it good...
alright now this is your job if you want me to write one more chapter in trunk's POV about AFTER there talk then just review and in your review tell me to write another chapter.. xD
hope you enjoyed the story!
Anoke