Author's Note: Haha! Triumph! I've written another chapter and it hasn't been weeks since the last. Other than that little note, not much else to say except: Enjoy! Hope it gives you a laugh!

Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer. Stephanie Meyer is not writing "Amusment Parks with the Cullens". I believe she's working on Eclipse. Hooray! Can't wait 'til New Moon comes out!

Author's Note 2: heh heh, sorry, but almost done with the non-story stuff. Just wanted to put a quick thank you here to LunaTears, for her beta reading, and another thank you to all reviewers :D

Oh and here are some answers to questions some people asked:

Bloosky asked:

Q. did jasper really hit a tree?

A. Nope, that's just Emmet trying to stir up trouble as usual

Q: what were heemmet and bella talking about in Mwaahaa- language

In chapter 13? Nothing in particular. Just laughing for the fun of it… hahaha

TwilightSnowStar asked:

Q. What ride could I tell you that you haven't already done? Hm...Oh, you've never done a Ferris Wheel!

A. A Ferris wheel would be perfect! …if only I could come up with some ideas for mayhem… any suggestions anyone?

I hope I got all the questions from Chapter 13. Let me know if I didn't. Well, the Author's Note didn't turn out to be so short this time after all. Sorry!

Chapter 14 – Not meant to be a Slideor Bella's Braveryor Hiss

"Wahoo! Drawing time. Thought we'd never get around to doing that again what with no-you're-the-stalker stalker kids, haywire emotions," Edward paused to give Jasper a look, "And Jasper running into trees!"

"I don't run into trees!" Jasper yowled.

"Of course you don't," Rosalie said breezily, "Just PICK a STRAW already!"

The others blinked.

"Impatient much?" Bella accidentally said aloud, voicing all of their thoughts.

Rosalie's head snapped to look at Bella, "Maybe as a vampire you'd be more polite!"

Edward gasped and hurried to stand in front of Bella, while snarling at Rosalie.

Rosalie and Edward glared at each other until Emmet broke the tension by saying, "Cat fight!"

Jasper made his agreement known by giving his imitation of a cat hiss, which earned a strange look from Bella and Alice.

Bella and Alice proceeded to try to teach Jasper how to hiss properly.

"Like so," Alice said and she and Bella opened their mouths and executed a perfect, "Hssssssss."

"Like this? Hcchhhsssssss?"

"No. More like Hssssssssss."

"Oh, I see. Hthhhhhhhhh?"

"Hssssssss."

"Hcthhhhhh."

"No Jasper, that's what a cat with a hairball sounds like."

"Try adding a bit more snakiness."

"Thhhhhhhhhhhhhssss."

"No, hsssssss."

"Hiiiiiitttttttttttthhhhhh."

"Argh! Enough already," Emmet commanded.

"Yesssss, let'ssss draw ssssstrawssss now." Jasper said, then his eyes widened as he realized how he sounded.

The others stared with equally odd expressions.

"Why'ssssss Jassssper ssspeaking like that?" Bella said, than gasped at her own odd speech.

"Must be all that hissing," Edward said cheerily. "You try speaking, Alice."

"Bite me!" Alice said.

Emmet reached for her, but had to drop it when they heard a high pitched screaming voice, moving away yelling, "He's doing it AGAIN! IEEEE!"

Emmet heaved a dramatic sigh, but Edward was still curious about the hissing.

"Say something with an S in it, Alice!" Edward asked.

"No way!" Alice said.

Emmet and Edward then stared trying to trick Alice into saying a work with S, while Rosalie watched with amusement.

Meanwhile, Jasper and Bella were talking.

"How long do you think the s stuff will last?" Bella asked.

"Not long, apparently, you're already over it, see? Me too," Jasper pointed out.

"Oh, too bad. It was kinda cool," Bella sighed.

"Yah, it was- hey wait. They don't know the s's stopped." Jasper grinned.

Bella grinned back and they approached the group.

"Hey guyssss, are we going to draw or sssstand around all day?" Bella asked.

The others looked away from Alice who was still refusing to use the letter 's' and nodded. Rosalie held out two straws.

"Emmet, Alice, pick one." Rosalie instructed.

Emmet started to reach for one, but Rosalie shot him a look that said, "Be polite", so, with a glum face he said, "After you then, Alice."

"Why, thank you!" Alice said and selected a straw that turned out to be long.

"Huzzah, Huzzah! I am not last. Oh how wonder life… er death?...whatever… I'm calling it life. Call it poetic license. Where was I now? Oh yes! Oh how wonderful life is! The sky bluer…er… grayer than ever, the concrete grayer too! The birds are happy and singing! Oh, happy day! I should sing too!"

The other vampires and Bella watched in a stunned silence as Emmet preformed on the spot, an odd song, accompanied by a weird little victory dance.

"Oh, lovely day,

I must certainly say!

I am not the last,

Sad days are all past!

I get to pick a rii-iide!

With my friends at my side!

Which one shall it bee-eee?

Oh, what's that, I seee-eeee?"

He bowed, waiting for applause. There was a stunned silence then clapping from the group. Some people threw coins at Emmet, who dodged them and scooped them up, taking it in a stride.

"Thank you! Thank you one and all! I'll be here all day!"

"Uh, Emmet…" Rosalie said.

"Just a minute, Rose, I'm talking to my fans!" Emmet said, signing someone's hat as, "The Not-A-Kid."

"Yah, well, we have a problem."

"What that? Oh, yes, a problem, just a second," Emmet finished signing someone's forehead and turned to Rosalie. "What's the matter?"

"Uh, your straw was long too."

Emmet stopped dead (sorry, no pun intended) and the crowd let out a gasp.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Emmet wailed, "I sang and EVERTHING! NO HAPPY DAYS! OH, SOB!"

"Uh, Emmet," Alice said nervously, we can just do a redraw."

Emmet head perked up. "Oh, yes. That would be most splendid."

Rosalie held out the straws again, this time after making sure one was short.

Alice graciously let Emmet go first.

"Goodie! I have the short straw!" He started hopping up and down like "the kid".

"Ssssso, where to then, Emmet?" Jasper asked.

The kid-ish manner dropped instantly and he pointed and said in his most ominous voice. "To the mountain, SPLASH MOUNTAIN, to be precise. MHWAHAHAHA! DUN DUN DUN!"

The now pale Bella did not join in the laughing this time.

After practically dragging Bella to Splash Mountain, they were able to get a place in the not-too-long line.

"Bella, you have endured the drop, remember?" Alice tried to comfort her. They had even stopped to get her some cotton candy on the way over in attempt to calm her nerves.

"Yah, this is probably no worse than that one."

Everyone was shocked to discover the owner of that statement being Rosalie, until she added in a low voice, "Of course, the drop didn't have water involved."

Bella glared at her, surprising them all.

"I've had it!" Bella exclaimed to their amazment. "No more freaked out Bella! I am going to enjoy thissss ride! Is that undersssstood!"

The vampires nodded stunned. Rosalie started to open her mouth.

"NO!" Bella interrupted. "I am so excited for this ride! No one; no ONE, can change that."

And then Bella turned facing the front of the line, leaving five very stunned vampires looking at her back.

"Uh, Emmet, how much sugar did she eat?" Rosalie asked.

"Too much?" Alice ventured.

"She's on hyper mode!" Emmet shouted.

Then a thought occurred to him. "Hey, Bella spoke without all those s's!" Emmet randomly accused.

"So?" Jasper asked.

"Hey, you did to!"

"And?"

"Argh."

When they drew nearer to the front of the line, Emmet tapped Bella on the shoulder cautiously.

"Uh, Bella?"

Bella turned around, looking normal, but excited?

"Um, can I ask you a question? And promise you won't start yelling? You see," Emmet lowered his voice, "It causes quite a scene."

Bella's jaw dropped. Alice put her fist into her mouth to stifle laughter. Jasper muttered something about 'Pot calling the kettle black'.

When Bella recovered, she said, "Go ahead, ask away!"

"Ok, er… why the change in heart about rides, ay?" Emmet asked.

"Oh. That. Well, I just figured, if anything did happen and I was grievously injured (At this moment Jasper whisper to Alice saying that Bella was starting to sound like Emmet) merely one of you would have to turn me!" She said cheerfully.

Edward's jaw dropped. Alice, Jasper, Emmet, and Rosalie all nodded however, as if it were the most reasonable thing in the world.

"Bella…" Edward started to protest, but Bella interrupted, a glint in her eye.

"In fact, I was thinking about possibly planning a sky diving trip!"

Jasper, Emmet, and Rosalie cheered at this. Alice amusedly watched Edward's reaction. Edward looked aghast, looking, if possible, paler than ever.

"But, no offense Bella, you trip a lot! That could cost you your life on risk like that." Edward said.

Bella looked momentarily puzzled, but then her face cleared as she said, "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it!"

"Next!" Yelled the bored looking conductor before Edward could argue further.

Emmet took charge of seating.

"Edward, you always sit by Bella, so you sit in front this time, kay?"

Edward decided to humor Emmet and obeyed.

"Let's see… Alice! You sit behind him. Then Jasper, you're behind Alice. Rosalie, you next. Then you, Bella. And I'll guard the rear."

They followed Edward's lead and got in the boat that looked like a log according to 'The Seating Chart', though Edward looked a lot more dubious with Bella so far back.

"Hold on," The conductor said, while making sure the seat belts were fastened.

Bella clapped her hands in delight as the boat started forward, wending it's way down a twisting river, frequently bumping into the side (Bella and Alice let out squeaks whenever happened).

And then, it was right in front of them. A tall, steep, and did I mention tall? rise. A conveyer belt like thing that would bring them to their doom…err… the drop.

Despite her mental prep talk earlier, Bella gulped.

Their boat went on the belt and it slowly started upwards.

Chink! Chink! Chink!

The sound continued as the boat made its slow way up.

"Ugh." Rosalie said, "The noise!"

"The suspense!" Bella put in.

"The drama!" Emmet yelled dramatically.

"The slowness," Edward complained.

"How long will this take?" Jasper asked.

"Dunno," Alice answered in front of him, "The slide is supposed to take three minutes to go down, so I imagine it takes a good deal of time to go up."

"Sob," Said Bella.

The noise, the suspense, the drama, and yes, Edward, the slowness finally stopped bugging them enough that they could think of something to pass the time.

So they sang. But they didn't let Emmet pick the songs, so they were all happy. Except Emmet, but when he complained, they reminded him that he had gotten to pick the seating.

And then… THEY WERE AT THE TOP!

"Uh oh," Bella said just before the boat dropped back to the earth, hurtling along at amazing speed.

"IIIEEEEEEEE!" Bella screamed and continued the scream for the first 30 seconds.

Then Emmet yawned. Uh oh. Scratch that. Double uh oh.

Ahem. WARNING! Kids, don't try this at home.

Emmet pulled off his seat belt and jumped off the back off the log, landing cat-like, before correcting his position to one who was going down a slide.

Rosalie and Bella were the first to notice.

"Move over, Bella! I want to do that too!" Rosalie ordered

Bella shut off what her mind was telling her and took off her seat belt also. And jumped off the boat.

Emmet caught her from her miscalculated jump that would have sent her over the edge. Then he set her down on the slide in front of him and Bella laughed and used her hand to propel herself nearer to the faster boat.

With a shriek of glee, Rosalie also jumped.

The three on the slide with yelling and laughing louder than normal, so the others turned to see why.

Jasper's reaction: His face lit up and he plunged after them.

Alice's reaction: She laughed, but didn't really feel like joining in this escapade.

Edward's reaction: "BELLA! BELLA!" He attempted to get around Alice, but by now they were getting near to the end of the ride.

"Uh oh," Emmet said, realizing this new plight, for people were standing at the edge of the river they were about to enter.

"Time to get back in the boat everyone!" He said and propelled himself forward.

Jasper helped Bella into the boat. Rosalie and Emmet got in. Everything looked normal once more, except for their dripping clothes and Edward's wide eyed disbelieving expression.

The boat splashed as it hit the river.

The vampires and Bella yelled happily, imitating others who went down Splash Mountain.

People on the concrete that lined the river's edge were playing with a little machine. The machine was simple really. You put a quarter into it, and water sprayed out of a little fountain in the water. If the people timed it right, they could get the people in the boat wet.

Someone put a quarter in one as they passed, spraying the six with water.

"What the-" Emmet yelled.

They wiped water out of their eyes as they continued down the river.

Emmet's keen vampire eyes spotted the next little fountain. An evil grin settled upon his face as he saw someone getting ready to put in a quarter.

Just as the person put the quarter into the machine, Emmet yanked up the fountain and aimed it at the person at the machine, who spluttered as they were sprayed with water.

"Hey!" Came a conductor voice. "I saw that! OMG! You are HIM! The trouble maker? Get him!" He shouted to himself and started chasing the boat.

Alice sighed, "I guess this means a new wig and more make-up, ay?"

Emmet grinned, "You bet! Let's go!"

And they jumped out of the log to the shore, climbing up, than disappearing into the crowd.

"Funny isn't it…" Bella started.

Rosalie picked up what she was saying, "That Emmet got in trouble for spraying someone and not more his wild slide!"

The two, plus Jasper and Alice, burst out laughing.

Edward glared at Emmet.

"Heh heh?" Emmet laughed nervously, than increased his pace more.

Author's note: Hope you enjoyed! I know that some… ok… a lot of this stuff is probably not possible, even for vampires (maybe), but hey, that's why it's called fiction, right?