For Like Every Woman, She Hates Her Own Fangirl

By: Mirandaotto

THIRD INSTALLMENT! THIRD INSTALLMENT! THIRD INSTALLMENT!

(Note: Sorry about the last chapter. I said it was going to chapter two, I meant three.)

Chapter Three:

Nej shook her head in disappointment. Gill was acting very unprofessionally. Not that Gill ever acted very professionally, but usually she at least had the decency to reassure the Fangirl's victim that they were not to panic, and that she and her companion would take care of the situation. Instead, Gill now continued to speak violently in l33t, rapidly cursing out the Fangirl as she dragged her into the bushes. Nej normally just stood on the sidelines, watching the scene unravel, completely uninterested in the whole ordeal, but Gill was preoccupied and Zuko looked confused and a bit panicky. She sighed in annoyance and advanced towards him.

"Yes, Yes, hello, very nice to see you, " Nej greeted him offhandedly as she approached him. He opened his mouth, but she interrupted, " Look, That girl over there is going to hurt neither you nor that Fangirl that was chasing you…." She paused and muttered, "at least, I don't think she will."

"What?" Zuko questioned. "Fangirl?"

Nej didn't seem to hear him. "Oh, whatever... but there's sure to be more where she came from," she said to herself. "Zuko, is it?" she added, looking up sharply.

"Yes, but how do you-"

"Never mind that. Right now, you should probably go hide," she said. "When that girl screamed, she was sure to have caught the attention of more Fangirls."

"What is a Fangi-"

"Do you have anyone traveling with you?" Nej stopped. "Scratch that, do you have someone even mildly attractive traveling with you?"

"I beg your pardon?" Zuko replied, quite offended.

"Oh, never mind. Gill won't let anyone else pass by without any trouble." Nej looked off behind her. Gill was still disposing of the Fangirl. "Come on, Gill. Don't waste time trying to kill her."

Gill's head popped out from the bushes. Her hair was full of leaves, and a branch stuck out from her shirt. "How is killing the enemy wasting time?"

"Oh good, you're talking normally again." Nej sighed in relief. "Kindly leave the poor girl alone and get back over here."

"Fine…" Gill stood up, leaving the Fangirl in the bushes.

Zuko, who was still in a terrible combination of shock and confusion, wondered if the situation, would ever be explained to him. He had been chased by a girl of that sort before, but it was a complete mystery to him what a Fangirl was and who these two strange girls were. "Look, you-" He pointed at Nej. "Stop talking and explain to me what is going on here!"

Nej stopped and looked at Gill, who now stood shoulder to shoulder with her. They exchanged a short glance, and then stared back at Zuko.

"Well, talk. What's going on?" Zuko demanded.

"You just told us to stop-" Gill began.

"I take it back!" he replied in frustration.

Gill and Nej both nodded, for the Author had no idea how to start the conversation. Thankfully, Nej started talking. "Well, you see, my sister Gill is a Fangirl hunter."

"But what is a Fangirl?" Zuko asked with a hint of anger in his voice. It was obvious that he was getting…well, for a complete lack of synonyms, angry.

"A Fangirl is…" Nej started, then stopped, unsure. In truth, she had no idea how to describe a Fangirl. Sure, there were very obvious characteristics, such as compulsive glomping, squealing, and others things of that sort, but they had no real definition. So the Author traveled on her Internet to the very creative and intelligent "Wikipedia." At first, the Author spelled Wikipedia wrong, but realized how very bad it was to spell such a great website incorrectly and therefore corrected herself.

"A Fangirl," Gill started (and her counterpart, The Author, would like to state that this is a direct quote), "is a female member of a fandom community, as opposed to the masculine "fanboy". Fangirls tend to be more devoted to emotional and romantic aspects of their fandom, especially shipping. However, it is most often used in a sense to describe a girl's obsession with something, most commonly a male teen idol or an aspect of Japanese pop culture." Gill then commenced to smile happily.

Zuko started back. His face held no emotion except for total confusion. "What?"

"Uh…Never mind. Just know that a Fangirl can not hurt you physically but can totally damage you emotionally." Nej shivered. "Gill and I both have seen it happen. Not a pretty sight."

The Prince raised an eyebrow. "Couldn't I just firebend-"

"NO!"

"Why not?"

Gill shot a nervous glance at Nej, who nodded in return. Gill began, "Fangirls come from a world not our own. They live in a world of advanced technology. Though we don't know much about them, we do know that their world is very different from ours." Gill paused. "There is a debate in that world about how Fangirls lead their lives. The people of their world claim that these Fangirls' obsessions slowly kill them. Day by day, their obsessions devour their insides, leaving a smelly, rotting carcass of a human."
" Enough detail, Gill." Nej cut in.

"Sorry. If one of the Fangirls was actually killed…who knows what could happen. All Hell would break loose in both worlds. The parent's of those Fangirls would start a war between us and their world. We can't let that happen."

"But you almost killed that Fangirl over there," Zuko pointed out.

"Um…that's not the same…."

And now for the continuation of the last chapter's "History of Nej and Gill."

The History of Nej and Gill


After Gill's strange questions about "Fangirls," Nej and her mother were a bit confused on what their reaction was supposed to be. Her mother laughed nervously and claimed that she hadn't seen any of late. Nej completely ignored the question and just grinned. She leaned towards her mother and whispered, "She's almost as crazy as you are." (If the Author has forgotten to state that Nej and Gill's mother was crazy, she will state so right now.) Gill and Nej's mother was crazy, so it's probably true that Gill inherited her mother's insanity.

And that is all the Author will type…write…whatever. You know why? Because the Author doesn't love you. The Author would like to apologize, though, for she is a lazy Author, which makes her beta homicidal. So she won't be lazy anymore.

Chapter 4 coming soon!