A huge thank you to all my reviewers and everyone else who has read and not reviewed. It has been a while since a new story of mine has received such enthusiastic approval so immediately. It's truly appreciated, thank you. I spent all day trying to figure out what to do next and the perfect thing finally came to me. I hope you enjoy it.
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Sunlight filtered through the leaves and fell in broken patches on the redhead lying on the ground. Kurama had been awake for some time but found he lacked the will to get up. Since dawn he had laid there mulling over the events of the previous day. He had easily come up with a solution to the situation, one that would cause minimal damage to Hiei, but he was surprised to find himself reluctant to go through with it. He wondered if Hiei had ever truly allowed himself to love anyone else before now. Even if he didn't return the feelings it wasn't right to destroy something so precious and rare.
While Kurama thought the sun had been climbing higher and higher in the sky and now aimed its rays uncomfortably at the fox's eyes. Sighing, Kurama forced himself up. Though the energy he had lost during the soul reading had been refreshed by last night's sleep, Kurama still felt drained and out of sorts. Almost lethargically he began to cook breakfast. Despite his worries about Hiei, Kurama hadn't eaten since breakfast the previous day and he was hungry.
The fire was still that of Hiei's unnatural black flames. As he cooked the fox's eyes drifted to the flames themselves. He watched them leap and dance, spiking up and dipping down endlessly. He noticed for the first time that the fire wasn't destroying the wood within it. The same logs from the first night lay in the heart of the flames untouched. The fire needed the wood to exist, but not as a regular fire did. He wondered how that was possible.
"You are letting the food burn." Kurama jumped at the familiar deep voice behind him. He quickly removed the smoking pan and frowned at the blackened contents.
Hiei could easily see that Kurama still hadn't fully recovered from yesterday's excitement. It wasn't like the fox to be so distracted so easily. Silently he took the pan from Kurama, dumped the ruined food into the bushes and returned to the fire to start again. When he caught the redhead's questioning glance he said simply, "Let me do it."
Kurama watched as Hiei prepaired a new meal for them. It was odd to watch the demon pay so much attention to the task. Kurama was surprised to see the little demon acting so domestic. Then again, Hiei had been surprising him a lot lately.
Hiei could feel Kurama's eyes watching him. It wasn't uncomfortable but at the same time it was because the attention awakened responses within him, responses that Kurama wasn't ready for yet. Closing his eyes briefly Hiei regained control of himself and went on cooking. When the food was ready he passed Kurama his share in silence.
Kurama ate his food slowly, thinking again of his plan to resolve this. It still felt wrong to do that to Hiei but things could not continue like this. The tension between them was electric and what was worse was that it was his fault. The tables had been turned and now Hiei was the one trying to get to Kurama while the fox hid himself behind walls of shame and guilt. He had to do something before everything between them was utterly destroyed.
Not lifting his eyes from his plate Kurama judged the direction of the wind. Hiei was sitting downwind from him, eating quietly and not looking at the redhead. Sighing regretfully, Kurama dropped a seed behind his back and then enveloped it in his ki. In seconds the flower had sprung up behind him, opening its pale petals and allowing its pollen to drift out over the fox's head.
Hiei tensed as he detected something in the air, something that hadn't been there a moment ago. Looking up he found a cloud of golden pollen settling lazily around him. Kurama gazed at him with sad eyes, a tall flower spewing pollen behind him. Hiei recognized the flower. The first time they had met the fox had used it on a human girl. Even as his vision began to grow hazy Hiei found himself laughing.
"So this is your answer?" Hiei asked with a smile. "You would have me forget and believe it all to have been a dream?" Kurama opened his mouth but was unable to answer. The smile on Hiei's face told him clearly that the fire demon held no grudge against him for this. He accepted it, just as he had accepted everything Kurama had done to him.
"If that is what you want, Kurama, then so be it," Hiei said quietly. He was feeling dizzy now and he knew he would be unconscious in a few seconds. If he had wanted to he could have easily negated the pollen's effects with the Jagan, but he would not fight Kurama. He smiled again, his eyes softening as Kurama and the rest of the world began to fade. "Pleasant dreams, Fox," he whispered. Then he slumped forward to the ground.
Kurama stared at Hiei's crumpled form. The plant behind him silently closed up and shrunk to a seed once more as the pollen dissipated. Slowly he moved to crouch beside Hiei. He reached out a hand to touch the half-Koorime but pulled back when he realized his hand was shaking. He clenched his fist and closed his eyes, trying to forget the smile Hiei had given him as he fell under the full effects of the pollen.
The pollen only put the victim in a hypnotic state, Kurama still needed to give a suggestion to Hiei before the memories, and the feelings, of the past day would be erased. Taking a shaky breath Kurama opened his mouth to give the command but faltered. Hiei's face flashed again in his memory and he bit his lip. He had been prepaired for Hiei to fight him, to be angry with him, but instead the fire demon had let it happen quietly. That spoke of how deeply his feelings ran. Licking his lips Kurama tried again but the words caught in his throat.
"Damn it, Hiei!" Kurama finally cried, slamming his fists down on the ground in frustration. He looked again at his friend's unconscious form and gave himself over to the emotions that had been threatening to explode since yesterday. "I can't," he said, shaking his head and beating his fists on the ground again. "I can't do it. I can't…" he trailed off, his anger replaced by something softer. Reaching out he gently turned the smaller demon onto his back, letting Hiei's head rest in his lap.
"You really do love me, don't you Hiei?" Kurama said quietly. As though those words were the key to the door barring his emotions, Kurama was suddenly overwhelmed. He felt tears in his eyes as his entire body began to shake. Without thinking he ran a hand through the raven spikes and was surprised by how soft they were. He continued petting the demon as words began to spill past his lips.
"I can't make you forget. Not this. Not love. I can't. Even if I don't feel the same it doesn't give me the right to take it from you. Love is too precious to lose, even unrequited love." Kurama paused for a moment to regain his self control, wiping his eyes and taking deep breaths. He looked down at Hiei's unconscious form and noted how much younger he looked when he was asleep. He continued to stroke the fire demon's hair as a soft smile began to grow on his face. He felt something warm within himself. Not love, not fully blossomed love, but a bud. A fragile bud that needed some care yet before it would spread its petals, but a bud all the same.
"Hiei," Kurama began quietly, a hint of affection hidden in his tone, "I have a favor to ask of you." Hiei stirred slightly and Kurama smiled a bit wider, wondering if he should take that as a response. "Wait for me, Hiei. I know patience isn't one of your strong points, but please wait just a little while. You've gone and jumped a hundred steps ahead and now you've got to give me some time to catch up." Kurama bent over until his face was inches from the sleeping fire demon's. "I will love you, Hiei. I already do a bit, but it feels premature. Let it grow for a while. I promise you that I will love you Hiei." Kurama laid his lips on Hiei's forehead, sealing his promise. "Wait for me."
(xxx)
A tantalizing aroma greeted Hiei as he came slowly to consciousness. Sitting up he looked around cautiously. The sun was low in the sky and Kurama was busy cooking dinner, the source of the appetizing smells. Something, however, still felt out of place to the half-Koorime. Then he remembered that he wasn't supposed to remember. Kurama had used dream flower pollen on him and yet as far as he could tell all of his memories leading up to that moment were perfectly in place. Getting up he approached the fire. Kurama looked up when he heard footsteps and smiled at Hiei.
"Good evening, Hiei," Kurama greeted. Hiei regarded him in silence for a moment.
"What happened to erasing my memories?" he asked quietly. Kurama paused in his cooking, his eyes shifting between Hiei's boots and the food.
"I changed my mind," he replied. Hiei snorted and Kurama looked up to find the fire demon smiling at him.
"You changed your mind?" Hiei repeated. "You couldn't have changed it before you knocked me out?"
Kurama didn't answer but smiled in return. Laughter danced in Hiei's crimson eyes and it wasn't unnerving anymore but new and refreshing to see. He finished cooking and they ate their meal in silence but it was a comfortable silence. The tension between them was gone and both of them could feel how much lighter the air felt. The bond between them had more or less been restored to what it was previous to the soul reading, with one crucial difference. It now lacked the unease and uncertainty it had once been burdened with. It was true and mutual friendship now with the potential for so much more.
As Kurama reflected on all of this he found his attention drawn to the fire once more. He gradually became aware of the fact that Hiei would know the secret to the odd black flames, they were his after all. Not only that, but Kurama was now in a position to ask and perhaps actually receive an answer.
"Hiei," he asked experimentally, "what keeps this fire burning?"
"It feeds off ki," Hiei answered simply. 'An immediate response,' Kurama noted, 'that's new.'
"I know you started it with your ki, but why doesn't it burn wood?" Kurama countered, wondering how long he could keep Hiei talking.
"No, you misunderstood me," Hiei replied. Standing up he moved to sit next to Kurama by the fire, leaving plenty of space between them. "It feeds of ki, not just my ki."
"What?" Kurama blinked, truly intrigued now. Hiei sighed. This was not something he had ever explained to anyone else and he wasn't used to describing such things. With anyone else he would have grunted and left by now, but Kurama was giving him his full attention and Hiei found he genuinely wanted to give the fox a satisfactory answer.
"You are a plant user," he stared uncertainly, hoping this would make sense as he kept going.
"What has that got to do with—?" Hiei cut off the question and continued, "Plants, like any living thing, have their own ki that they use in various ways, Makain plants especially." He paused and looked at Kurama, who nodded his agreement. Feeling somewhat better for the encouragement Hiei resumed his explanation. "The fire doesn't burn the wood because its fuel isn't the wood itself but the wood's ki."
"That still doesn't explain how the fire sustained itself for three days," Kurama observed. "Those logs don't have an unlimited supply of ki, it should be depleted eventually."
"It's a cycle," Hiei said, pausing as he tried to break down and expand that idea. "The energy isn't lost."
"I know that," Kurama replied, "the energy is converted to heat by the fire."
"And then converted back," Hiei added.
"What?" Kurama stared at the half-Koorime in confusion. Hiei looked lost for a moment, struggling to explain.
"The heat from my fire isn't fully converted," he began slowly, "when it is absorbed by something else it becomes energy again. I've found it useful particularly when it comes to food. Anything cooked on that fire contains an added boost of energy from the heat it absorbed." Kurama processed that for a moment. He hadn't noticed before but he could feel from his energy level that Hiei was right about the food.
"So if the fire converts heat to energy why doesn't it just sustain itself without the logs?" Kurama asked after a moment.
"No, it doesn't convert its own heat," Hiei corrected, "other things convert the heat. It needs a medium to feed heat to and draw back energy." Emerald eyes lit up in sudden understanding and Hiei felt himself smile a little in triumph.
"I see," Kurama smiled, looking at the fire, "it won't destroy the logs because it needs them." Hiei nodded, his gaze fixed on the redhead. "The fire gives heat to receive energy," the fox continued excitedly, "and neither is destroyed in the process."
"No, they don't hurt each other," Hiei agreed, his voice slightly more husky as he leaning a little closer to the redhead. Desire was bubbling up within him and he knew he should get away from the fox before he did something regrettable but the desire compelled him to stay. Kurama noticed the odd tone in the fire demon's voice and turned to find Hiei much closer than the fox remembered with a new light in his ruby eyes that Kurama wasn't ready to recognize yet.
"Hiei…" he said quietly. Hiei blinked and then looked away, scooting back to his previous distance. The tension was back between them again and both felt it acutely.
"We should get some rest so we can get back to what we came here for tomorrow," Kurama suggested. Hiei looked up but decided against telling Kurama the truth of the fake mission. He wasn't sure if the kitsune would take the opportunity to leave or not. He would never admit it to Kurama but he had heard every word the fox had said while under the effects of the pollen. 'I will wait for you, Kurama,' he vowed. 'Forgive me this deception; it's only to give you more time.'
Hiei stood and made to blur away but paused, his form hazing out and then back into focus. In a flash he jumped up and reappeared a second later on the lower branches of a nearby tree, clearly visible to Kurama. The redhead smiled, unexpectedly comforted by Hiei's choice to stay at least within sight.
Contented he settled at the base of the tree, glancing up at Hiei's form above him. 'Be patient with me now and I will love you later, Hiei,' he thought with a smile. Then he closed his eyes and slipped quietly into sleep to dream of a black flame that warmed but did not burn.