Sorry for the delay. We just had every window in the house replaced last week so I couldn't really get on the computer. Also, I'm down to less than twenty days left before school starts up again so I've been busy getting school stuff done. Can you believe I had English homework over the break…and I'm still not done? Bad me. I have to finish that. One more thing, the soul reading scene back in chapter two was inspired by another fanfic I read years ago called "The Beginning." I would have said this earlier, but I couldn't remember what the name of the fanfic was. (Oh, and yes, "magick" is supposed to be spelled that way and I tried to make all the flower meanings as accurate as possible.)
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Youko sat dejectedly in the darkness of an old den he hadn't frequented in years. He had used it mainly for liquor storage and that is what had drawn him back to it now. Empty bottles littered the floor and clanged together as another was added to their ranks.
It had been two weeks since the bat had died. Two weeks since the Game had been abruptly halted. Two weeks since the youko's heart had been whole. He had come here seeking to fill that hole with booze, but the alcohol had only served to further irritate and infect the wound.
In a sudden fit the thief violently flipped the table, the shriek of glass breaking beneath the wood echoing through the cave. He stood there, panting and glaring at nothing, wishing to tear his own heart out if only to stop the pain. He had not cried, he would not cry. He refused to acknowledge that crying was part of grieving, in fact he refused to acknowledge that he was grieving at all.
The pain was unlike anything he had ever experienced before and with it came also an equally alien fear, a fear that even when the pain had finally passed someday he would find himself here again. If there was one thing he wanted more that for the pain to stop, it was never to experience it again. To do that, he had to make sure he never fell in love again.
With a sudden determination Youko stalked out of the room to retrieve the necessary seeds for his plan, ignoring the glass that bit into his feet as he went. As an animal spirit, Youko had a very good understanding and control of magick. Because herbs and various other plants were the main ingredients for most spells and incantations he had grown to be a fairly high ranking magick user. Coming back into the room, he set the table upright once more and placed the seeds, as well as a lighted candle and a bowl, upon it.
Love was a tricky thing to manipulate. Even the most powerful magick could not prevent love or force a person not to love indefinitely, but it could create love. Being uninterested in love, Youko had never preformed such a spell before. That does not mean, however, that he did not know how to perform it and he executed it now as if it were something he had done a thousand times before.
"I will not endure this loss again," he spoke aloud, sure that his liquor-induced plan was absurd and yet not caring in the least. "I will use love to prevent love!" His voice echoing in the darkness as though laughing in the face of every god or goddess of love in existance.
"I will love a person who does not exist and then this imaginary person will never be able to hurt me," he said, somewhat quieter. He picked up the first seed, feeding it his ki until a beautiful white ebony flower spread its petals before him.
"Blackness will dominate him, in appearance and in spirit," Youko recited the meaning of the flower as he crushed the delicate petals into the bowl. He paused as he realized he had just specified his non-existent love to me male, but decided he preferred it that way and continued.
The double blue hues of a fleur de lis joined the ebony as Youko specified, "He will have a flame about him, a great mysterious fire always burning."
"He will have endured grief and cruelty throughout most of his life," Youko continued as he added a bright orange marigold. A dash of red-stained orange joined the mix as a nasturtium was also crushed and its meaning revealed, "He will be a great warrior and conqueror."
A pink petunia was the next ingredient. The Youko paused before speaking its purpose, his sharp golden eyes softening as his dream lover began to take shape. "He will have deep resentments and anger towards many, yet his presence will soothe me."
Next, a red tulip and the youko's soft description, "He will have beautiful red eyes." The roses, the final ingredients, followed. He grew first a white rose and then, using his ki, deprived it of all moisture effectively drying the petals. "He will have a very strong sense of honor. Death will be preferable to him over the loss of his virtue." A yellow rose was selected after this. "He will try to care for others but it will be hard for him, at least at first."
Finally, the youko added the last ingredient: the small unopened bud of a blood red rose. "He will be pure and lovely and have a youthful beauty despite his age. He will have a heart innocent of love before we meet." With that he took up the candle and held it upside down over the bowl, igniting the crushed flowers inside. Smiling, he watched the petals brown and curl and knew he would be forever safe from loving again.
(xxx)
Kurama woke with a start from the dream. But it wasn't a dream. Youko had cast that spell, all those years ago, and it appeared that its effects were not wasted.
"Oh gods, no," Kurama whispered, covering his face with his hands. He had only just begun to acknowledge Hiei's feelings for him and promised to someday return them, and now he discovered that those feeling might not even be real but just a byproduct of some drunken spell.
Looking up Kurama saw it was still dark, somewhere in the vicinity of three in the morning. Hiei was still asleep on his branch, barely visible against the dark night sky.
"Blackness will dominate him, in appearance and spirit," Kurama repeated the words from his dream, feeling as though he might cry any minute at the unfairness of it all. His eyes traveled for a moment to the black flames of the fire that still burned brightly in the dark. "He will have a flame about him, a great mysterious fire always burning."
Emerald eyes traveled back to his sleeping companion and Kurama nearly choked on his next statements as they too proved to describe Hiei perfectly. "He will have a very strong sense of honor. Death will be preferable to him over the loss of his virtue. He will have endured grief and cruelty throughout most of his life. He will try to care for others but it will be hard for him, at least at first."
By now Hiei began to stir from his sleep, awakened by Kurama's soft voice. Kurama, however, only continued with the description. "He will be a great warrior and conqueror." Frowning in puzzlement at that statement, Hiei blurred and reappeared a second later before Kurama on the ground.
"Fox, what are you babbling about?" Hiei asked, concerned by the look on Kurama's face. It was almost the same frightened and confused look the kitsune had worn after the soul reading.
"He will have deep resentments and anger towards many, yet his presence will soothe me," Kurama continued softly as though talking in his sleep. His brilliant eyes weren't focused on anything but seemed to stare right through Hiei to some distant point. Beginning to feel unnerved the fire demon knelt and firmly grasped the redhead's shoulders. Kurama turned his head to meet Hiei's stare, emerald boring into ruby.
"He will have beautiful red eyes," Kurama breathed and Hiei stiffened as the fox raised a hand to gently caress his cheek. "He will be pure and lovely and have a youthful beauty despite his age. He will have a heart innocent of love before we meet." Then suddenly Kurama was hugging him, burying his face in the half-Koorime's strong chest.
"I'm sorry," Kurama suddenly cried, choking on the sobs he was holding back. "Gods, what a mess I've made! What a disaster! What a—!" Whatever else it was Hiei never found out because Kurama suddenly went quiet and limp.
"Kurama!" Hiei cried, alarmed. He pulled the fox away from him to see the hysterics had been too much for the redhead's already overtaxed emotions. Kurama had fainted. Hiei sighed in relief as he gently laid Kurama on his back, the fox's head in his lap, and began to stroke the crimson locks.
Kurama slowly came back to consciousness. The first sensation he was aware of was being petted. He decided it was a very nice, comfortable feeling and one he was glad to wake up to. He subsequently retracted that thought as he awoke to find the one petting him to be Hiei and the memory of the spell came back to him. Kurama moved to get up, but Hiei held him down.
"Relax you crazy fox," Hiei reprimanded, "calm down or you'll faint again. What are you so worked up about?"
Kurama shook his head and closed his eyes. After a long moment, he moved to get up once more. He couldn't tell Hiei while lying in his lap like this, shattering the fire demon's heart while simultaneously playing the role of would-be-lover.
"Just let me sit up, Hiei," Kurama pleaded when Hiei tried to stop him from moving again. Hiei paused but let his hands drop, allowing Kurama to sit up. Kurama drew a shaky breath before looking at Hiei who was waiting expectantly.
"I…I think it would be best if I left now, Hiei," Kurama finally managed to say. Hiei looked at him in confusion.
"Now? In the middle of the night? Kurama…"
"I really think it would be best," Kurama repeated firmly, hoping Hiei would just let him go. But of course he wouldn't, not without an explanation.
"Why?" Hiei asked. The warmth and trust that had shone in his eyes the last few days was suddenly gone, blown out like a candle. Instead the old harsh coldness was visible in those crimson depths.
"Hiei, please," Kurama said quietly, looking at the ground, "I don't want to hurt you. Just let me go."
"Tell me why, Kurama," Hiei insisted, standing up and glaring down at the redhead.
"An old mistake," Kurama muttered, standing up as well. He turned to retrieve his pack. "Please, Hiei, just leave it at that." The fox yelped and jumped back as the flames of the black fire suddenly jumped six feet in the air, the heat scalding his skin.
"What about your promise!" Hiei roared. Kurama whirled to face him. He almost asked what promised when he realized what Hiei was talking about. He felt his eyes grow heavy with moisture.
"Hiei, that's just it, I can't…"
"Why can't you?" Hiei demanded. Hiei seemed so desperate, begging Kurama to stay. Kurama had never seen him like this before.
"Because it isn't real, Hiei," Kurama choked, the tears beginning to fall despite his attempts to stop them. Some of the anger left Hiei's expression at that and was replaced by confusion and pain.
"What are you talking about?" he asked quietly, as though he was almost afraid to know the answer.
"Hiei…" Kurama began but stopped as a mighty sob overtook him. He was crying harder now and, unable to support himself any longer, he fell forward to his knees. Hiei watched for a moment and then walked forward slowly and knelt before the distraught kitsune. Taking Kurama's face in his hands he gently wiped the tears away with his thumbs. Leaning in he placed a gentle, chaste kiss to the redhead's lips. When he pulled back he moved one hand to stroke through the now calmer fox's long red hair.
"Whatever it is, just tell me, Kurama. It will be alright," he whispered reassuringly. Kurama licked his lips and then nodded slightly.
"After Kuronue died, Youko cast a spell so he would never fall in love again. Magick cannot stop a person from loving, and he knew that, so instead he cast a spell to fall in love with an imaginary person of his own creation. He…I…thought that falling in love with someone who didn't exist would keep me safe from really loving anyone." Now Kurama paused and looked at Hiei sadly. "The only problem is you do exist."
Hiei's eyes grew wide and it was a moment before he could manage to utter softly, "Youko Kurama cast a spell to fall in love…with me?"
"Yes," Kurama acknowledged, managing to smile slightly though it quickly faded, "and therein lays our problem." When Hiei opened his mouth to protest Kurama cut him off, "Hiei, you deserve to be truly loved for who you are, not because of a spell cast two hundred years ago. I can't do that to you. I've forced you to feel something that you might not have felt otherwise and I'm sorry but I can't continue this charade beyond that."
With that Kurama pulled away from his embrace and retrieved his pack. He hesitated, staring at the fire demon who stared back at him with such a look of utter loss and confusion that Kurama was forced to turn his head.
"You're still welcome to visit me at any time, of course," Kurama said as he began to walk towards Hiei with the intentions of passing him and leaving their campsite. "We are still friends, or at least I would like to be."
Kurama drew level with Hiei and just as he would have passed the smaller demon the half-Koorime suddenly grabbed his arm and spun him around. Hiei pushed his mouth roughly against Kurama's in a bruising kiss and backed the redhead into a tree. Kurama gasped in surprise and Hiei took the opportunity to pillage the fox's mouth with his tongue. When he finally pulled away both of them were panting.
"That had nothing to do with any damn spell!" Hiei growled huskily. His tone of voice alone made Kurama shiver but the redhead fought to regain himself. Finally he looked down at Hiei sadly and said only, "Can you really be sure?"
Hiei opened his mouth to reply affirmatively but stopped. He had never felt for another as he felt for Kurama. Could he really be certain that these feelings were real and not counterfeit having never experienced them before? He remembered the things Kurama had mumbled earlier, recognizing them now to be fragments of Youko's spell. 'He will have a heart innocent of love before we meet.' Suddenly the small demon felt himself be overtaken by doubt and despair.
Kurama watched the shadow that suddenly passed over Hiei's face and sighed. His heart ached to comfort the little demon but he knew that distance would be the best thing at the moment. When Hiei stepped back to allow Kurama to leave the redhead paused for a moment to reach out and cup Hiei's cheek as he had done earlier. The half-Koorime looked up and they stared at each other for a moment.
"Good-bye, Hiei," Kurama finally said as he let his hand drop and began again to walk out of the woods. Hiei watched him go silently. The flames of the black fire that had burned now for almost four days smoldered and went out.