Disclaimer: ER belongs to their respective owners.

Author's Note: This chapter will be longer than the last one. Hope you enjoy.

II.

It wasn't her nature to simply jump into conclusions, so she silently watched and listened. She hastily returned the ill-served letter to its original place, down to the bottom of the drawers. It was a test of sorts, three years after the letter was written, she still hoped and waited for John to come to her.

The inkling of doubt hang liked an executioner over a guillotine. She questioned herself when he came home at odd hours of the day, picking up shifts that could have been given to somebody else. Of course, she knew the inconsistency of scheduling within the ER, but then John always gave her explanations, when she wanted to spend the night in or go out together on a rare day-off together. "No, Deb, there are board meetings. Kerry is making me pull a double. Susan really needs this day off because her sister is back in town." Other times, he would absentmindedly kiss her on the cheek as if that was the key to solving all problems. "C'mon Deb, you know how it is at work. I'll make it up to you."

For the three years, she allowed those words to convince her. John with his charming smiles and vivacious brown eyes, more often than not, won her over. She loved him but then, she missed having him to herself. Before he made a special effort just to be Mr. and Mrs. Carter, but now John was never simply her husband alone. He was Carter the Chief Resident, the doctor, the friend to everyone at County.

The line between what constituted work and home became obscure. They used to be able to read each other so well. However about a year or two into the marriage, John expected that everything to remain status quo, because she was Deb, the best friend and wife. Now, they were lucky if they talked about anything besides work.

Their daily lives became a habitual routine. When they worked different shifts, one of them would get up with the alarm clock, while the other stayed in bed. A cursory kiss on the cheek would suffice until they either met up at work or when they saw each other at home again. When they were working the same shift, then they would take the El train together. Sometimes, one of them would drive but silence became their constant companion until she saw the grateful site of the emergency bay.

The thrill of sharing one's marital bed lost itssignificance. There were the usual excuse of being fatigue and stressed but then again, if husband and wife barely saw each other more than five minutes each day in the same house, it was hard to engage in any activity.

Still, she hoped until the name "Abby" came up in conversation. Abby and Luka hooked up a few months after her and John's own wedding. Luka and Sam had a fallout, while Abby and Luka rekindled their flame and decided to elope on an island off the Dominican. Now, they were going to have their first baby together.

Deb wasn't resentful of the joys regarding Abby's impending motherhood. The Chinese doctor knew the trepidations of balancing a baby along with a career. She was just disappointed that John never mentioned being a father with her. Not only that, John had began to spend more time with Abby who was now eight months along. "She's having a bad time, Deb. Luka has to go back to Croatia and there's no way that Abby can travel in her condition. The least that I can do is to be there for her."

"But John -"

"Abby's a friend, Deb. I can't just leave her when Luka isn't around. You understand, don't you?"

That was the end of the discussion. He hadn't really let her answer. Deb wondered if John was always liked this before she found the letter. With each uncertainty, her doubts festered, but when she tried talking to him, he gave her a rather incredulous look.

"I love you, Deb. You know that don't you?" his words came out as a well-versed mantra before sealing them with a kiss on the cheek.

At times, she did know that as she eyed the date for their upcoming anniversary - four years of being Mr. and Mrs. Carter.

For Chinese people, the number four is ill-fated, because it is phonetically similar to the Chinese word signifying death. For Jing-Mei Chen, she was stood up on her fourth anniversary. They had originally planned for a night out of the city on one of John's private jets - one of the rare times he made use of his wealth. However, she received a single call on her cell after waiting over five hours.

"Deb - "

"John, where- "

"Abby gave birth to twins! Luka's here right now, but twins!"

"John."

"Oh, I'm supposed to call Neela, but I just wanted to let you know the good news."

With that, she was met with a dial tone and no words of apology. She spent the rest of the time alone in the jet, while it coasted through the Midwest as it was previously intended. The solitude gave her the necessary means as she contemplated the precipitating events and the current letter that was in her hand.

Unlike the one that John wrote on their wedding night, this was on a separate matter entirely. It was from a hospital in New York City who was offering her a temporary position as Chief Resident in their ER. It was only for a year, but they were willing to put up half of her travel expenses, in addition to helping her find an apartment. It was out on a whim when she applied because she didn't think that she was going to be offered a job. She had lost her opportunity at County years ago because she didn't have enough hours put in during her pregnancy. She did not resent John succeeding the position, but nobody could deny the fact that this was a wonderful opportunity. She had intended to discuss the matter with John tonight, but he couldn't even be there for her on their wedding anniversary.

He came home the next night from the hospital. She had been playing the grand piano, a birthday gift from John. Her musical talents was one of the few things that she and her parents agreed. She loved classical music for each piece was wrought with such ferocity. Differences of each note could evoke another emotions. Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata was one of her favourites but tonight, its melody offered no comfort as her mind was too preoccupied with the fact that she had accepted New York's offer by email only a few hours before.

She wanted to tell him that night, but one kiss from him and a single apology from him still her words. Tear fell as she walked away from his outstretched arms, "I can't stay."

He let her go without a fight and she hardened her broken heart as to her decision. She had already discussed it with Kerry extensively. Jing-Mei had approached her initially prior to submitting an application. Both women recalled their past differences about the Chief Residency position. They had moved on as Kerry wholeheartedly and sincerely offered her hand to the black-haired woman and said, "Good luck, Jing-Mei. County won't be the same without you. New York won't regret taking you on. You're a great doctor."

Jing-Mei was truly touched and smiled as she returned the sentiments. "Thank you. You have no idea what it means to me."

The older woman nodded and said, "I think I have an idea. Remember, you will always have a welcomed place here at County."

Hearing the praises from Kerry herself, Jing-Mei felt that she finally crossed some invisible rift. However, it made her more acutely aware of the fact that she missed her husband. The realization that they had drifted so far apart really hit home as she prepared to board the plane. She kept her plans relatively low key and out of the rumor mill. Kerry was one of the few who knew along with Pratt.

He met her at the airport. He carried leather-bound journal which he offered as a parting gift.

"I know it's corny but I figure you can use it to write down your memories."

"Thank you, it's perfect."

His words caught her off guard. "I'm surprised that Carter isn't here. What does he say about all of this?"

"He doesn't say much about it. As far as I know, he has no opinion on it," she replied truthfully.

"So, he has no problems with you jetting off for a year in a different state?"

"Don't you trust me, Pratt?"

"You know that I do. I'm just surprised that Carter isn't making that much noise about it."

"Actually, he doesn't make any noise about it."

"What you are saying is that he doesn't know," Pratt realized after an awkward silence.

"He will when you give him this letter."

Pratt looked down at her hands and shook his head.

"I don't think I should be get involved in this and you're just going to leave just like that without an explanation?"

Withdrawing her hand, she said, "Believe me, I tried. It's always the same, 'Not now, Deb.' 'I'll make it up to you, Deb.' It's liked we've grown so far apart that the only common thing that we have is County."

"Jing-Mei..."

"I still love him, Pratt, but maybe a year of being physically apart will put some things into perspective. I need to do this for myself. Please just give this to him."

"It doesn't change the fact that I want to kick his arse."

She offered a weak smile. She was going to miss Chicago, "Wish me luck."

Pratt took the offered letter and then enveloped her in his arms and reassured, "You don't need luck because you got all the talent in the world to make a terrific Chief Resident."

End of II

AN: Another chapter. What do you guys think? Is that believable or was it too rushed?