Introducing... Vampires Anonymous!

disclaimer: If I owned anything, wouldn't it be kind of superflous to post stories on the internet?

Movie premiere announcer: Hello and welcome to the all scream>

V. A.!

Alice approaches the podium. Erm...hi everyone! My name is Alice!

All: HI ALICE!

Alice: I like poofy hair and really fast cars, and my family...but not necessarily in that order, you might notice that I have poofy hair and be thinking, "wow she's really vain, she likes her own hair the best" but it's not true. in fact, i despise myself, see--OW! ow that hurts! look everyone, i bit myself. heh, i don't taste very good. i also like it when they put blue's clues prizes in those boxes of ramen noodles...

Fat Swedish Guy: Quit rambling Alice, we all love you!

Alice: GASP! my long lost cousin who shows up at our house and asks for gingerale every thanksgiving, yet we never remember him!

Fat Swedish Guy: I am Doctor Cullen. Doctor Angus Cullen.

Announcer: Did you just say your name was Angus?

Everyone: HI DOCTOR CULLEN, DOCTOR ANGUS CULLEN!

Announcer: Bella it's your turn. Trust me, we will-- edward makes a low growl and makes fists with his feet> oops, i mean won't--laugh!

Edward: wolf whistles>

Everyone: HI BELLA!

Bella: Hi everyone. I like chocolate ice cream, soft kittens, edward, and orange people, not necessarily in that order. teeters on Alice's 5-inch heels> whoa-whoa...OH CRAP! Alice, i told you they were too small!

Announcer: I know how we should make Bella feel at home! Say it everyone!

Everyone: DANCE PARTY!

Bella: gulp> no...NOOO!

Announcer: yes! hit the sound, Donald! (i don't know if anyone says hit the sound like they say hit the lights, but oh well!)

Colin (he's been turned into a vampire by his momma): Hey Ry, do you know what all of this music has in common?

Ryan: What, Col?

Colin: It was all written subconsiously as vampire music!

everyone does the jitterbug as "hungry eyes" plays in the background>

Announcer: Angus this one's for you... WILL YOU MARRY ME?

edward and bella slow dance as "forever young" plays, and he strokes her cheek, never dropping his eyes.>

Angus: i marry you if you give me lamp!

-----the end-----