Writer: Azure K Mello

Title: A Bond Never Dies

Part: 91 of , or part 8 of Part Three

Words: 406

Um... I have no dedication. Like James Carse, I am empty.

He flooed home directly from Dumbledore's office. James was in the kitchen cooking and a huge smile wiped over his face as he saw his son, "Harry! You're home for supper? I would have cooked something special."

Harry gave a half wave, barely noticing his father's words. Walking straight to his destination he opened the door to his father's room and fell into the centre of the bed. He breathed in the scent of his parents' shampoo and familiar detergent on the pillows; it smelled like the safety after nightmares. It was only when his father came and laid beside him that he really saw the man and then he said nothing he just wrapped his arm around the man and buried his head in his father's chest. "Daddy," he said in a monotone voice, knowing James' wanted an explanation.

The tone scared James more than tears ever could and he hushed the boy saying, "It's okay, get comfy, don't try to talk 'til you feel ready."

After a few minutes Harry spoke softly, "Dum'ldore hads a fing fer looking at pasts that coulds of been," Harry slipped back into speaking like his younger self when deeply agitated. If he had grown up with the Dursleys he would have had to have learned to cope with stress better. But he had grown up with James and all the trauma had been repressed in the little boy's mind. Now, when upset, his old speech patterns returned. "He showed-ed me what would have happened if you'd dieded."

"Harry," his dad started but then saw that the boy was on a roll so he cut himself short.

"The Dursleys were mean. An' Sirius was in prison for twelve years, and thens he was a fug-'itve, and thens he dieds an' it was my fault. And Cedric… And Remus and Severa hated-ed each of-er but it mades Remus sads. And Severa hated me, hated me so much it burneds. He hated me and yous wasn't there, Daddy. And thens I dieded when Vold-mort 'ttacked." And it was in the same dead voice that he had been speaking in from the first.

"Baby," said James softly, "It's not real. This is real." He stroked the boy's face, "Feel me loving you? I'm not dead. You're safe."

"But it coulds of been. It all could have been jus' like tha'. Draco went all evil 'cause I saids I wouldn't be his sriend."