Standard disclaimers applied.

Author's Note: The lyrics that are used in the beginning, are from the song, What's Left of Me, by Nick Lachey which doesn't belong to me.

Part XII An Outsider's Interpretation

Watch my life,
Pass me by,
In the rear view mirror
Pictures frozen in time
Are becoming clearer
I don't wanna waste another day
Stuck in the shadow of my mistakes

Nick Lachey - What's Left of Me

He looked up from the task at hand and glared at the door. The doorbell sounded once again and he resignedly thanked the high graces that a potential disaster had been adverted. Quickly, before his luck went out, he opened the door to admit a casually-dressed John Carter.

"Carter!" he was surprised. His tone and facial expression reflected this.

"Luka, can I come in?"

"Yeah, sure," the Croatian opened the door further. For a moment, Carter smiled at the sleeping bundle that Luka was holding.

"Feeding time?"

"I was trying to, but Sophie tends to fall asleep on me during a feeding."

"So, I take it that things are going well for you guys?"

Luka nodded as he gestured for Carter to take the sitting-room couch, while he sat himself down in the adjacent rocking chair. Then, he repositioned Sophie into a more comfortable position on his arm to resume feeding. "We are doing very well but still, Abby needs time to rest too. The twins can be handful. I help out by bottle-feeding. Once Sophie is done, then Alex will cry for attention too. That's why I was worried that the doorbell would wake her up."

Carter smiled at Luka's pet names for his twin daughters, Sophia and Alexis. He watched for a moment before Luka broke the silence. "I didn't get a chance to thank you."

Carter looked up in surprise, "For being there for Abby. It was a trying time and I came as soon as I could, considering the circumstance."

"Nobody can fault you for that and I know that we have a fair share of differences."

"But for all our sakes, I hope we can get pass that."

Looking at the tentative picture that Luka painted with his daughters, Carter could not help but adding, "I think that we already did. I am truly happy for you, Luka, all of you."

At this, Luka asked, "Would you like to hold Sophie for a while? I'm going to go wake Alex and feed her because I know she is going to get fussy very soon."

Reaching out, Carter knew that Luka and him had at last bridged their differences. When Luka returned with his other twin in tow, he stopped short at the entrance of the sitting-room. Carter had the most enchanted look on his face, as he cooed and rocked Sophie in her sleep. In hushed tones, Carter was humming to the infant. It was a soothing melody and Luka could not help but ask, "What song is that?"

Carter was startled but he continued with his humming until he was satisfied with the sleeping baby in his arms. "It's Tchaikovsky's Sleeping Beauty. After Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, it was one of Deb's favourites."

At the mention of his wife's name, Carter fell silent. Though Luka hated gossip, he could not help but ask, "How is Jing-Mei?"

"She's in NYC right now, as the temporary Chief Resident at the Angel of Mercy Hospital."

"I heard that she left County but I didn't know that was the reason. Well, congratulations. She will make a great Chief Resident."

"Yeah, she's the best."

"Why do I sense a but statement?"

Carter hesitated but Luka was quick to put in, "Nevermind Carter, it's none of my business."

"Deb and I didn't leave on a good note. In fact, we haven't had a real conversation for almost two months, just some impersonal emails."

"What happened?"

"That night, when Abby gave birth to the twins, it was our four-year anniversary. I had a whole big thing planned out, but ..."

"You were with Abby that night."

Carter nodded, "But, that wasn't all. She left a note saying that I haven't been there for her either physically or emotionally. She felt that she had somehow lost her husband in the process ... I don't know anymore, Luka."

"I didn't realize that the pregnancy had caused a rift in your marriage."

"It wasn't yours or Abby's fault and it certainly wasn't the pregnancy that caused a rift."

"Do you love her?"

"Who? Deb?"

"No, I mean my wife. I need to know, Carter, whether or not you still hold the torch for Abby."

"No. I have nothing but utter respect and friendship for the both of you. No matter how much of a past that I had with Abby, it is the past. I love Deb. I think a part of me always have even before we got together and I always will."

Luka seemed to accept the answer but not before he ventured an admission of his own. "I'll be a fool if I didn't wonder about the what-ifs. At the end of the day, I wonder if Abby still holds the torch for you. Over time, I have come to accept the fact that no matter how much she denies it, there will be a place deep down that she has reserved for you. I can't begrudge that because it is as you say, that is the past. We all come with a bit of baggage, a bit of history. What Abby and I have now is a wonderful future and our two girls will be a part of that. I don't take it for granted, so each day I tell her and show her how thankful I am to have these women in my life. The question which concerns you, Carter, is whether Jing-Mei knows this."

"I tell Deb that I love her all the time."

"Humans are strange creatures, Carter, and love is a complicated element. I don't pretend to be an expert on it but telling somebody that you love them is sometimes not enough. Jing-Mei says that you haven't been there for her physically or emotionally. You have to ask yourself if the situation was reverse, what would you say?"

"Sometimes, by necessity, we can't be there all the time."

"We are all doctors here. None of us need to be told twice that we have crazy lives. We just have to figure out the priorities. It comes to choosing between the work where you have thousands of lives hanging on the balance or the one person with whom you are in love with. I found that it helps to have somebody who understand your needs and wants, but you yourself know that we can't have our mind set on changing and fixing everything. It's all about compromise."

It was at this point of the conversation that Abby returned from her outing. She carried with her a couple of shopping bags and groceries. Like Luka, she was surprise to see Carter in her sitting room, rocking little Sophie to sleep. However, she was gracious in her welcome, as she kissed both Luka and Alexis.

"Carter," she said in greeting.

"Abby. How are things?"

"Everything is going really well. Were you here long? I just spent the day with Sam. We were out shopping."

"No, don't worry about it. I just came by to say hi."

"Well, I have some takeout, maybe ..."

"No, I better go before I overstay my welcome."

Both Abby and Luka insisted to have Carter join them, but he was equally adamant on leaving. "Take care," he said as he set Sophie in her crib.

"Carter," implored Abby.

He leaned forward and placed a quick chaste kiss on Abby's cheek before murmuring a word of thanks to Luka. The Croatian could only nod, while returning a silent good luck of his own.

End of Part XII