Standard disclaimers applied.

Author's Note: Lyrics from parts of Bo Bice's song, 'The Real Thing' were used which doesn't belong to me.

XV. The Part of You that is Me

Tell me what we got, tell me it's a lot
tell me it's the real thing
Tell me not to change and always be the same,
tell me that's a good thing
Tell me not to lie, tell me not to wait
Tell me that you want the same things as me
Tell me that it's fate driving me insane
Tell me it's the real thing
That keeps me hangin on

Bo Bice - The Real Thing

Jing-Mei had a late night where she had attended the promotion ceremonies downtown, where she saw the newly promoted Sergeant Faith Mitchell. She had cheered and clapped loudly with other members of the force, including the partners of 55-Edward. Now, she was due for the midnight shift at Mercy and her body was running on excess adrenaline from before. If her performance was altered in anyway, nobody said anything about it.

She had emailed John just before going to see Faith. She was nervous and had trouble formulating her sentences. She thought that it was small graces for the delete button on her keyboard. Finally, she resorted to a small note.

"Dear John,

I feel as though I can see the moon descending towards Lake Lucerne - the longing and the hopeful sentiments. Thank you for the gift. Yours, Deb. (1)"

When John read her message later on that night, in the middle of shift, he got mixed feelings by her words. Clearly, she appreciated the gift, but what did she mean by longing and hope? However, he didn't have a chance to reply back when Pratt waved him over for an assist in Trauma room 2.

-o-o-

Jing-Mei did expand on her cryptic message from before. The words haunted her - the longing and the hopeful sentiments. Why couldn't she just tell him that she misses him as well? It had been so easy for Faith to point it out to her, that first night in her apartment. So, she began to type. A bunch of incoherent thoughts and sentences filled half the email, before she pressed down on the backspace button. Then, she got the inspiration from reading on his messages.

"Even though NYC is a place that never sleeps, they are wonderful daydreamers. They dream of things, both real and ideal. They too, hope for love, wish for love and misses love."

His reply was almost immediate.

"Do you, Deb? Have you fallen in love with New York?"

She was surprised at the quick response. She imagined that he too, was checking his emails. She blushed at the intimacy of the interaction. It was one of the few decent 'conversations' that she had with him in recent memory. His implications were clear and it was her turn to be honest.

"Yes. In the process, I found myself missing you - my husband, my best friend, my equal. As much as I have fallen in love with New York, my heart will always be faithfully yours."

"I love you, Deb. I realize that I don't say it enough, but I miss you these past months. Please say that there is second chance for us."

"Do you still love Abby, John?"

A single line and Carter realized the answer could determine their ultimate happiness. He had tried to suppress the lurch in his stomach after reading that Deb missed him, probably just as much as he missed her these past months. There was no doubt that he trusted her to be faithful despite their lack of physical proximity. He thought about the conversation with Luka that one time at their apartment, before typing an email response. He tried to imagine Deb, wondering if she was waiting in anticipation for his response.

"Believe it or not, Luka asked me the same question, the answer was and still is no. I don't love her but I have the utmost respect for her and Luka. But, in the same conversation, Luka made me realize that we all come with a little bit of baggage and little bit of history. Perhaps, a part of me will always love her, but I can't change what is in the past. What is important to me is you, because Deb, you are my future, not Abby."

She saw the honesty in his words. She thought about the single piece of correspondence that she found at the bottom of his drawer. Clearly, it was something that wasn't meant to be found or posted to the intended person.

Perhaps, that's why you'll never get this letter, because I do love my fiancee, just not in the same way as I love you. But know this, you will always have a special place in my heart, Abby Lockhart forever and always. -Carter.

Those were his words and she could never alter the period of his life that he shared with Abby. Just like the fact that Fred Yokas could not change the part of Faith Yokas that she shared with Bosco. Their marriage failed largely because there was little love left in the relationship and neither side could compromise. However, Jing-Mei realized that she and John had a chance.

"My future is with you too."

End of Part XV

AN: I know that it was really short, but I think that separating the Bosco/Faith scene from the email exchanges between John/Deb works out better.

(1) Moonlight Sonata wasn't originally call this, rather, its original title was "Quasi una fantasia" (Almost a fantasy). The unofficial title came from Ludwig Rellstab who wrote that the sonata reminded him of the reflected moonlight off Lake Lucerne.