Chapter 2
Two days passed since our first recording session at the house under construction. But on October 15th, we decided to continue filming stunts since it was so fun the previous Monday. I went to my house and got my camcorder, again failing to tell my mother exactly how long I planned to stay over. The truth is, I did not know. We just went with the flow. When we all met at the house, I plugged my camera into the extension cord, only to find out that the camera would not power up. I tried to figure out what the problem was and eventually discovered that the extension cord had to be plugged into another exterior outlet that was put in place.
We were in the bathroom, and I filmed Joseph filling the shower spout with silicone. I gave a high-pitched giggle. Lance discovered that I was recording what Joseph was doing. "Man, turn the thing...!" Lance barked.
"Dumbass," Joseph grumbled, "turn that shit off." I obediently turned off the camera, but later turned it back on when Joseph was through with the silicone. "I know," Joseph said, "let's make a horror movie!"
"No, let's do some Jackass stuff," Lance insisted.
"Yeah, Jackass for now, horror stuff later," I agreed. The three of us left the bathroom and walked to an open doorway that led to Point B (if you forgot what Point A and Point B were, see Chapter 1). I shut off the camera and turned it on later to show Lance jumping up and down.
"Is it on?" Joseph asked me. "Are we recording?"
"Yes," I said.
"Got the microphone?" he asked.
"Yep," I said.
"'Sup," said Joseph. He walked up to the open doorway and pointed out. "I'm gonna climb across the building." I gave a high-pitched giggle. There was a board on the back of the house that Joseph could step on while climbing across. He was to climb from Point B to Point A. Unfortunately, the obstacle was the chimney. That made it much more challenging.
"If you don't make it, take…uh…I get your car…or…whatever," I said.
"Shut up!" Lance yelled playfully and gave me a light punch on the shoulder. We all laughed.
"Here I go!" exclaimed Joseph. He started to climb across the wall.
"He's doing it, he's doing it…oh he's doing it!" I said.
"Dude, shut up and film," Lance said to me. But that didn't last long. When Joseph reached the chimney, he had trouble making it across and exited through the convenient window. "What do we do now?" Lance asked.
"Beer bottles!" Joseph exclaimed. Lance and I looked at each other, unsure of what Joseph meant. The next thing we knew, we had beer bottles wrapped in aluminum that Lance and Joseph urinated in (I passed on that one). From Point B, we threw one out, only to have it disappear and fail to shatter. We found some more and went to Point A. Joseph threw a bottle out toward the driveway, but it didn't shatter. Lance went off to retrieve the bottle.
"Lance…is the Joseph's dog…" I said, trying to find the correct wording. I swung the camera to Joseph. "Joseph! What do you have to say about this?" I asked.
"I'd do it again," Joseph said.
I laughed. "This is going on your permanent record!" I teased. Then, I heard Lance's footsteps come up the basement stairs, and I focused on the stairs. "Lance is running as fast as he can on those little tiny legs of his!" (Lance doesn't really have little tiny legs, I just said that because sometimes I say the most random things.) "And he's coming up, and ooh, it looks like he has the bottle of uh…"
Joseph interrupted me by saying, "Got the bottle of piss?" He took it, and I filmed him taking the bottle and throwing it out the window. We cheered as we saw the bottle hit a cardboard sheet and urine ooze out. I turned off the camera.
After throwing the bottles of urine, we decided to resume Joseph's attempt to cross the house…only this time we would do it from Point A to Point B. We gathered some rope and other things to make a harness. But before that, Joseph boasted about his penis. "My penis is 5 inches long," he boasted.
"Man, no way your dick is 5 inches!" snapped Lance.
"Oh yeah, well how long is yours?" Joseph challenged.
"Never measured it," Lance said.
"What about yours, Joey?" he asked.
"I never measured it," I said.
"Y'all are wusses," Joseph said. He pulled down his pants, revealing his penis.
"Joseph, hide that thing!" I exclaimed. Joseph pulled his pants up again and sat down on the edge of Point A to work on the harness for the stunt. I turned the camera on again. "Joseph…after flashing…is about to attempt crossing the building again."
"Dude, let me film," Lance said. I turned off the camera to Lance and went to the ground level outside where I could help narrate. Lance turned the camera on.
On ground level, I announced, "Welcome back. Joseph is about to cross the building again. Joseph, any words?" I asked.
"Help me," he said in a pitiful voice.
"Ha ha, what a baby!" I joked. "Anyway, watching. We're watching." Joseph started to cross the house. "Oh, he's so brave!" I said, breaking into laughter.
"Shut up, Joey," Lance said. He was silent for a few minutes as he watched Joseph try unsuccessfully to get onto the chimney. Joseph then went for the nearest window again. "What the hell is he doing?" Lance asked.
"It's too tricky," Joseph said, entering. Lance turned off the camera. I went up and got the camera. I went back downstairs to film from another angle.
"Hey, I've got an idea," Lance. Joseph and I looked at Lance. The three of us went to ground level and tied the harness (which basically consisted of a very thin rope tied around Joseph) to Joseph. Then, Lance went back upstairs. Joseph threw him the string to the harness. Basically, the idea was for Lance to hoist Joseph up and support him. But it obviously wouldn't work since the rope was so thin (and Joseph was fairly heavy, too, mind you). I turned the camera on.
"Lance, this isn't going to work," Joseph complained.
"Yes it will!" snapped Lance. Out of frustration, Joseph slipped off the harness and grabbed a plastic cup. "Man, you aren't doing it right," Lance said.
"Joseph, what are you doing?" I asked him, seeing that he took the cup with him.
"I'm going to go in the porta-potty and shit in this cup. Don't film, aight?" Joseph said. I faded out. Then, Lance, Joseph, and I met at the driveway again after Joseph took a dump in the cup. I turned the camera on and burst into laughter and faded into the scene. I did everything I could to look inside the cup with the camera, but Joseph refused. "Don't film it!" he yelled.
"But I thought you wanted to film," I said.
"No, nooooo. Don't film the shit, man. Don't film it, don't film it!" Joseph said. Suddenly, I saw that the viewfinder went black and the camera stopped recording. What happened. I took the camera off my shoulder to see Joseph holding the AC adapter's cord. Apparently he'd unplugged it. "I said don't film it," Joseph said angrily. Since the camera was off, he let us look inside, and we were disgusted by what we saw. Joseph then threw the cup into a dirt mound, and we left the scene. I gathered my equipment and went home. Again, I was late, and my mother wasn't anything short of upset. But, one good thing, though, was that I had another fun afternoon.