So I am posting this in the hope that maybe getting some reviews or at least some critiques will help inspire me to pick it up again. I had written this eons ago in a notebook that I reccently discovered a couple months back and decided to type up, and since then has been sitting on my hard drive collecting dust as it were. I like the idea I had in mind for it, and would like to work on it some more soon but well, my muse is still MIA, the ruddy cow, and so far I have been unable to tempt her out of hiding. So anyway, hope you guys enjoy it and can offer some encourage for my muse to resurface.
Dusk spilled heavy and warm across the land, bringing with it a lustrous golden glow, spreading like reaching fingers, setting everything it touched ablaze with the suns dying light. With an ever calculating and scrutinizing gaze that would make even the most hardened of grown men weep for their mother Severus surveyed the land before him, the immaculate gardens that stretched out at least a mile towards the front gates slightly skewed by the thick lead paned windows. The neat expanse of well kept lawns, vibrantly beautiful flowers and twisting and turning maze, all aglow in the fiery shadow of the setting sun did little to warm his heart or diminish the sneer firmly set upon his angular face. Ebony brows slowly drew together in a frown as shadows lengthened and turned from a rich burnt umber to a cool slate blue as twilight descended like a smothering blanket. A choking foulness permeated the air like a sickly sweet fragrance that would coat the throat and tongue, assaulting the senses and snatching away the ability to breathe freely. With his shoulders hunching slightly in tense anticipation, Severus continued to gaze out of the window, seeing nothing and yet seeing everything at the same time, his mind turning tirelessly.
It wasn't until the stars shone brightly, appearing as so many diamonds cast haphazardly across the velvet darkness of the sky, that a small and unobtrusive knock sounded upon the door to the shadowy study. Moments later a small bald head adorned with large ridiculously floppy ears and eyes as large as saucers peeked around the edge of the partially open door.
"The great Albus Dumbledore to see you Master" the childlike voice announced almost hesitantly. With a dismissive wave of his hand Severus continued to stare out of the window, the grounds now shrouded in darkness as he drawled,
"Yes, yes show him in Jinx." Immediately the small shinning head was gone with a bobbing gesture, unfortunately in Severus' opinion, he received only a few minutes more of silence before the door was swept open wide and the old wizard entered the room with a flourish of obnoxiously bright purple robes emblazoned with shimmering and twinkling stars, as well as am absurdly tall pointed hat to match.
"Really Albus, must you be so dramatic?" he drawled lazily without turning to face the man. "You will find no foolish schoolchildren here to bedazzle with your parlor tricks" he continued in a tone just below berating. A small chuckle rose from the old man, his sky blue eyes twinkling behind half-moon spectacles as he sank unbidden into one of the large wingback chairs before the fire. Settling comfortably into the chair with a great rustling and rearranging of robes he turned with a broad smile to look at the dark man before the window.
"There was a time, my dear boy, that you yourself were bedazzled by my parlor tricks" he replied with an amused tone to his voice.
"That time is long gone Albus, I am not the boy I was then. That child is dead" Severus said flatly, his eyes still firmly fixed upon some point now blanketed in darkness.
"Indeed" Albus mused sadly, the twinkle in his eyes fading for a moment.
"Spare me your reminiscing Albus, the 'good old days' are as dead and forgotten as that awkward child. We have important matters to discuss" he stated coolly, his voice holding only a hint of the frustration he felt. Finally turning his back to the window, Severus crossed the room in several gliding strides and seated himself stiffly in the chair opposite of the old fool. "You received my message I take it?" he asked after a few moments of silence. With a slight nod of his head that caused his laughable hat to teeter precariously for an instant, Albus replied,
"Yes I came as quickly as I could." To this he received only a narrowing of obsidian eyes and a small sound of suspicion, before the young yet immensely wizened man before him once again adopted the almost casual sneer that could simultaneously mean nothing and anything.
"And?" Severus finally prompted as he leant forward in his chair to rest his elbows upon his knees, his shoulder length hair swinging around to shield the side of his face like a curtain. His glittering eyes shrewdly examined Albus' face, his brow furrowing all the more as the old man simply continued to gaze at him with a benevolent smile plastered across his face. As time wore on Severus was growing more and more certain that Albus was destined for a room at St. Mungo's, one with nice soft padding on the walls.
"I have little to say on the matter" Albus finally stated, his smile and the twinkle in his eyes never wavering. "As I see it, we have little choice in this. You must continue to appease your Master and assure him of your worth, there is no way out of this I am afraid, my boy" he continued softly in a tone akin to one you would use on a child while trying to explain something difficult or upsetting.
"Albus, this is not a game!" Severus exclaimed heatedly, his hands dancing wildly in the air to convey his vexation.
"Indeed it is Severus, and we are all pawns in Tom Riddle's twisted game of chess. You know as well as I that in a game such as this it is vital to plan our strategy carefully, but no amount of planning can accommodate for the whims of a mad man." Severus' frown deepened all the more until his brow was deeply creased and his gleaming eyes had all but disappeared beneath his brows.
"You cannot seriously be considering this Albus!" he exclaimed almost shrilly as he suddenly rose to his feet. For a brief moment the older man's shoulders sagged and his face took on an expression of someone who had grown infinitely weary. Idly folding his hands in his lap, curling the snowy tendrils of his beard around his fingers he spoke slowly, his voice encompassing all of the bone-deep weariness he felt.
"I assure you Severus, I have given then matter much thought since I received your message, and I am certain that there is no other way this can be done that would not reveal your duplicity to Tom and therefore lead to your death."
In frustration the raven man had begun to pace back and forth across the room, his head bowed in contemplation, hands clasped firmly at the small of his back and eyes narrowed in a scowl as he listened to Albus' words. Now he stopped before the fireplace, turning his back to the flames that crackled in the grate to face the wizard to whose cause he had devoted the better of his life. Shadows shrouded his features though little could stop the gleam of his drowning pool eyes from being visible.
"My life is of little consequence, you and I both know that there is very little chance of my surviving this war." In an instant Albus had risen from his chair in a flurry of shimmering purple roves and wobbling hat. He stood barely a foot from Severus, bathed in warm and soft firelight, the dancing flames reflected in his spectacles and causing his free flowing snow white beard and hair to appear as fine spun gold. A weathered hand tenderly gripped the young man's shoulder while a fierce defensiveness tinged his voice as he spoke,
"Do not speak so lightly of your mortality Severus. You know your importance to the Order, to the success of our cause and whether you like to admit it or not, you know you would be sorely missed." A derisive snort and fiery scowl was the instant response the old wizard received.
"Really Albus? And who would miss me? The insolent brats that I unsuccessfully try to teach and protect? The Order members who to this day do not trust me and treat me like the proverbial red-headed stepchild? The colleagues who whisper rumors and foul names just as immaturely and prevalently as the children we teach? Or perhaps the child I am about to punish simply for being friends with that insufferable Potter? No Albus, I think you shall be the only one who shall mourn my passing while the rest of the wizarding world rejoices" he said solemnly, his eyes, if possible darkening all the more with sadness as he slowly withdrew himself from Albus' reach and strode back towards the window. Bowing his head as he gazed out into the darkness, Severus could not resist the urge to wrap his arms about himself, finding some small comfort in the intimate touch, even if it was his own arms that he found refuge in.
"Is that truly what you believe?" Albus asked, his gentle eyes widening in shock, "that you would be so easily forgotten? Your achievements cast aside and your sacrifices snubbed as meaningless?" Snorting contemptuously Severus hugged himself all the tighter, glad that the curtain of his hair hid the pained look in his eyes.
"Do not forget Miss Granger's impending punishment, I am sure that even you could not have managed to convince that deluded mind of yours that she will graciously thank me for the situation she has been thrust into" he snarled ferociously, though no amount of anger and derision could hide the bitter sadness in his voice.
"Oh Severus, my dear boy, how can you believe that Miss Granger would think such a thing?" Albus said softly, his voice infused with the overwhelming sadness he felt for the young man before him. "She is an intelligent young witch, she will understand the necessity of the actions that must be taken, she will know that this is for her safety not some form of punishment" he continued as he moved closer to the tortured man and laid a comforting hand upon his shoulder.
"No Albus!" Severus snarled vehemently as he quickly withdrew from the other man's touch. "Do not try to coddle me as you do those blundering children, I am not nearly so foolish as to believe your words of comfort. Now please, just leave" he continued, his voice fading from heated rage to solemn resignation as he drew close to the fire, burning his back to the room. He felt the heat of the fire against his legs, a slight sheen of sweat breaking out beneath the many layers of his robes. "Please Albus, leave me to enjoy the last few hours of my freedom in peace" he finished, his voice barely above a pleading whisper.
"So you will do it then?" Albus asked almost cautiously, his voice soft and unobtrusive as he gazed admiringly at the man before the fire.
"I have little choice in the matter it would seem" Severus replied, his voice flat and utterly devoid of emotion, a sound more despairing and painful to hear than one of fury and loathing. Albus nodded slowly with resignation, his twinkling eyes now dull with sadness at his inability to protect the man that had been the closest thing he had ever had to a son besides Harry.
"Very well Severus, I shall take my leave then" he said softly as he mad his way across the room to the door where he paused with his hand upon the polished door handle and turning once more to look at Severus said "shall I inform Miss Granger of the situation?" Without turning his eyed from the dancing flames at his feet Severus replied in barely more than a choked whisper,
"No, I shall inform her myself. I believe it would be best if she heard the truth rather than whatever mollycoddled lie you had devised to soften the blow. The sooner she learns the true severity of the situation the better she will be prepared to face the hardships ahead."
"Very well Severus, I will be in touch with you soon" Albus said softly, turning and leaving the room, quietly closing the door behind him and casting the room once more into a tense quiet, the only sound that of the crackling fire and the sorrow filled breaths of the man who regarded them with an expression of intense emotional pain.