'Scuse the delay, peoples. Lolly and Aina, reporting for adulterated duty.

And now…another chapter of the ever-delightful Tozzie!

- 8 -

The plot thickens,

Her pulse quickens,

Young Susie's in a mess

Desperate despair,

Torrid affair,

Can't you just confess?

- Lolly's crap.

- 8 -

I woke up in the dark, temporarily confused about my bearings. Then I shifted and felt warmth beside me, and suddenly everything that happened last night jolted into my memory like an electric shock. I had been sleepy a few second earlier, but I was no longer sleepy now. Oh no. Especially when I realised who was actually in bed next to me.

Slowly, I turned to look over at him. Paul seemed to be in deep sleep, his breathing even and he was lying in a careless manner. Taking a much needed breath, I started to sit up, in slow motion. Seriously. It felt like it took forever for me to finally sit up and move the sheet away, but I did it.

Glancing back at him to make sure that he was still asleep, I shifted my weight from the bed bit by bit, until I managed to get off the bed. I paused there for a while when Paul shifted, feeling like my heart would bomb, but then he settled and I breathed again.

I wasn't going to stick around when he wakes. By that time, I'll be gone. And this time, it's for real.

Looking around the room, I saw that my suitcase was still packed, and I went over to pick an outfit at random. My watch displayed that it was around 6 in the morning, and I figured I could have a quick shower before leaving. I had a feeling that Paul would be too tired to notice that I was awake.

Clutching the clothes, I crept to the bathroom as quickly as possible and shut the door to stop the light from spilling out into the bedroom. Dumping my clothes on the counter, I took a deep breath and let it out. Hurry up, Suze, no time for self-contemplation right now.

I had wanted to take a short shower, but the hot water felt so good on my dirty skin. And I meant that in so many ways...I was dirty. I reeked of adultery. It was all I could do to stop from sobbing in the shower, but I held on. Guilt and shame has their time for later.

Hmm . . .

I was jolted out of my sleepy reverie by the sound of a constant noise suddenly beginning. I did not bother to open my eyes yet, I was still half asleep. My face itched, and I rubbed at my nose tiredly.

Fuck. Where was I again? I hope I didn't get wasted, and fall head over heals in bed with the first skank I saw again. That happened too often for comfort.

I jerkily moved my arm, patting the mattress beside me. No girl there. Okay, that was weird . . . why would I sleep in someone else's bed on my own?

Hang on . . . ah. Suze. Of course. How could one forget about THAT one?

A lazy smirk drenched my face, and I turned my head, running my hands through my hair in what I hoped was a it-was-good-for-me...was-it-good-for-you? way.

Although, I was disappointed if I expected to see her in bed with me . . . or anywhere in the room. She wasn't. Shit. Had she - ?

Oh. Shower. Don't panic, Slater . . . she didn't get away.

Yet.

Bit rude of her, though. Jumping in the shower, all alone. Could have been a little morning fun for the recently depressed lawyer who lost his big case.

Frowning at this thought, I stretched out in her bed. I loved how it all smelled of her. So sweet . . . A decadent scent that infiltrated my mind, working its wicked magics on me. How could a man truly refuse himself a woman, when she smelled like that?

He couldn't. I couldn't. I just did what we both wanted. Dropped the pretences, and succumbed to primal urge.

Yeah. I really wanted to be suc-cumming in the shower, right now. Jesus, she just COULDN'T have woken me up, could she.

I finished my shower finally, and hurriedly dried myself with the hotel towel before getting dressed. Hmm. Not bad for an outfit that I picked in the dark. No time for makeup though, so I scooped all my toiletries into the makeup bag and with a last look at the mirror, I opened the bathroom door quietly.

I was just doing up my pants when I heard the door crack open. I slid back in bed noiselessly. I needed to know. Closing my eyes just enough to watch from under my lashes, I waited for her to make her way towards me . . . wake me up, tell me she had to go to work, make excuses until the end of time.

Either that, or skip all pleasantries or otherwise, and try to hightail it.

The former was my hope; the latter was my expectation.

The latter was also correct.

I saw her glare at me shakily with a very suspicious look in her eyes. She guiltily broke eye contact, and tiptoed towards her bag. With a slight groan, she picked it up and started carrying it towards the door, trying not to look at me.

Just as her hand touched the knob, my eyes cracked open.

'Going somewhere?'

I SWEAR my heart dropped, just like the bag I was carrying thudding to the floor. Shit! He should be sleeping! God, that scared me.

Now should I reply? Or should I just continue to walk away?

I picked up the bag again, and without looking at him, I decided to just continue walking. I had no time to talk, argue, be manipulated, etcetera. I was leaving, and that was that.

A snap of rage scratched at me fleetingly. It was the first of a series that would inevitably follow. I sat up a little more suddenly than I should have with the goal to remain composed. But I was pissed off.

She determinedly tried to leave, but the moment the door opened, I slammed it right back with telekinesis.

'I can do that all day,' I promised her angrily.

Oh God, this was not happening. I took a few deep breaths, and then turned around. Paul was sitting up on the bed, looking pissed. Looking at him suddenly made me feel pissed off too.

'Open the door, Paul. You don't own me. So you don't have a say to where I get to go or where I have to stay,' I said, letting the anger fill my voice.

It made me laugh. I wasn't quite sure why, but I found humour in her words. Perhaps it was because that was the most sincere I'd heard her sound for years, now. The conviction was striking.

I wasn't impressed, however, that she suddenly had in her head that it was time to leave. Well . . . okay, not suddenly. She assured me every day that she'd be gone by tomorrow. But tomorrow would come and go, and so would she. And she'd be back the next day . . . and the next.

'I don't own you,' I said in a low, soft voice of mockery. 'Oh yes, I remember. Jesse does. Hope he doesn't mind that I borrowed his things without his permission. I love playing with Jesse's possessions.'

I didn't know whether to burst into useless tears, or to scream at him. Instead, I turned to the door and opened it. The handle slipped from my grasp and the door slammed in my face again.

'Whatever games you're playing, it ends now,' I said, not even sure if he heard me. But apparently he did, because he laughed that mocking laugh again.

'Games, Suze? Who said we were playing games?'

Her hair was damp in some places, fluffed out around her shoulders, framing her expression of shock and fear to perfection. I loved that look on her. I almost wanted to photograph her face looking like that, so I could keep it. I wanted to keep something of hers. Something tangible. Not just memories.

I wanted to keep her. I didn't understand why I couldn't. Jesse was the only thing between us. Why couldn't he just . . . leave?

Then I could have her. And the games would be over, forever.

'No? Isn't this a game to you, Paul? Trying to get a married woman in bed with you? Well, guess what? You've won, and now the game is finished. I'm leaving today, and you can't stop me. Okay?'

I had to be focused, not to notice his rumpled hair, or his strong bare shoulders. It was annoying, my stupid mind couldn't even be focused on being MAD at him without thinking inappropriate thoughts.

I just smiled. I still didn't believe her. I should have . . . if I had, then I would have handled things a lot differently.

'I can't stop you?' I asked, moving just a little so the muscles in my torso tensed slightly. It had quite an affect on her; so much so, she tried the door again, but I slammed it shut. 'You know how to goad a guy, Suze. Of course I can stop you. I'm a lot more powerful than your willpower will ever be.'

Damn him and his over-confidence crap. And yet, my fear of him was lessening in each passing moment.

'Fine. You're strong. But you know, just like I do, that your time with me is over. How long do you think I want to stay here? I don't belong here. I don't belong with you,' I said coldly, hoping my words will hurt him, just like his did to me.

I blinked, trying to think of a reply. Instead, immaturity spilled from my mouth.

'What's that supposed to mean?' I demanded icily, emerging from beneath the covers and planting my feet on the ground. I stood by the bed, regarding her with a glare.

I let out a laugh, suddenly thinking how funny it was that he had to ASK me what I meant. 'You know what it's supposed to mean. Just exactly like I said. Do you want me to repeat it for you? Because I will.'

It was exciting, this sense of confidence that I was slowly gaining. I felt sure of myself, like I haven't been in a long time.

My laughter didn't seem to please him as much as it pleased me. In fact, Paul was looking far from pleased now. His posture was stiff, like he was trying very hard not to walk over to me and...I don't know. I don't want to think about what he could do.

I didn't give her the satisfaction of repeating herself. I could see fire building in her eyes. It was something I'd missed. That fortified defiance. It ridiculed me, and everything I'd tried so hard to do these past few days.

What infuriated me the most though, was that it had all been for her!

All of it. I'd done everything I possibly COULD to give her what she'd wanted. I'd bent over backwards for her, to show her the time of her life. She'd never had it that good, I knew that much.

And she had the fucking nerve to stand there, and throw it all back in my face. She was SO prepared to forget what I'd done for her. She was going to toss it all away for a plastic life with her stupid resurrected dead boyfriend.

How could she DO that?

'Nothing to say, Paul? Or have you always known that whatever happens, I'm better than you? That's why you wanted to be with me, to be with someone that you know is a better person than you could ever be.'

My jaw set when her words penetrated me. She just - how dare she act as if she were superior?

To ME?

'You bitch,' I sneered at her. Within half a moment, I had her pressed against the door with more force than necessary. I was hurting her. I wanted to. 'You want to see better?'

I seized her lips with my own, violating her mouth mercilessly. She screwed up her face in defense, and twisted away, but I slammed myself against her, bashing the space right beside her head with a strangled shout of, 'No!'

Startled and furious, she started really fighting.

That was when anger really overtook my fear, and the voice that had been shouting 'enough' inside of me, took a physical form.

Feeling my heart pounding, I moved my head away from him, letting some space between us, before bringing it forward with all the force I could muster. It took Paul by surprise, and he stumbled backward. But the awful cracking sound of two heads banging against each other only served to fuel my anger.

What the hell are you so scared about, Suze? You can hurt him too. You can hurt him just as bad as he had hurt you.

Fury twisted across my face. What the FUCK was that for!

I touched my forehead instinctively, to see if it was bleeding. It wasn't.

I didn't give him chance to straighten himself before I landed a punch on his nose. I didn't hear a crack, pity, but he did shout something unpleasant.

Curse all you want, Paul. I'm just getting started.

Oh, NOW she was fighting back? Well, I could play this game very well.

I tossed my head back to face her. She didn't break it, but it stung like hell. 'You really don't want to pick a fight with me, Suze,' I warned her, shoving her hard against the wall. I heard the loud thump of her head as it collided with what was behind it. 'It gets scary.'

A defiant look struck her face. She didn't care.

He was talking, but I didn't hear a thing. My ears were ringing, and my head was throbbing. I was reveling in the pleasure from causing him some pain, mistaken in my beliefs that if I could hit him enough, it would lessen the guilt and the torment inside of me. Some part of me knew that none of it was true, but it still feels good to react.

He stared at me, his blue eyes as cold as ice. It didn't matter. I lifted my leg and aimed at his stomach, but he pushed it away. Against my better judgement, instead of positioning myself better and fight him from a distance, I lunged at him.

'Don't make me hurt you,' I snarled at her.

. . . Who was I kidding? I WANTED to hurt her. That's where our fire came from:

Pain.

That's why we were drawn to each other. Pain. The pain of being lonely. Of being what we were, so different from everyone else. So much more powerful than the rest. Suze would never admit it to anyone, let alone herself, but deep in the shadows of her soul, she knew she was better than Jesse. She knew that she wanted - no, needed, more than him.

'Well, it's a little too late for that, Paul,' I spat, shoving him away from me as hard as I could. He still didn't look as if he wanted to fight me back, and it pissed me off.

'Come on. Why aren't you fighting back? Come on!' I shouted at him, feeling as if my chest would burst.

She can't say I didn't warn her.

'Fine,' I said spitefully. While she was busy glaring daggers at me, I seized one of her shoulders and faced her away from me, before sandwiching her against the wall. She tried to push away from it, but I was proving a point, therefore, not letting her get the better of me this time.

My hand slithered up her shirt, grasping her breast. She made a noise, but I think it was more out of anger than anything else, damn it. Oh well . . . I wasn't done.

Moving that hand as much as I could, to get any reaction out of her, my other stopped pinning her hand against the wall, and slid down to her waist. From there, it sunk into the back of her pants.

'Paul!' she yelled. Once again, though . . . that wasn't passion.

That was hatred.

What was WRONG with her today? This usually worked like a charm, on her.

'Why are you resisting?' I demanded breathily in her ear, angry.

And then he had the audacity to ask me why was I resisting. You wanna know why, PAUL? I'll tell you why.

I elbowed his stomach, which succeeded in making him let go of me. Then I turned around and pretty much hissed at him, 'Because my senses have finally caught up with me!'

He looked as if he was going to thrown in another sexual assault, so I threw a flat sidekick to his knee. He managed to move away at the last instant so it didn't connect as hard as it should, but he still swore painfully. Go Suze.

'I know more about your senses than you do,' I sneered. 'And I'm more in tune with him than your HUSBAND will ever be.'

Straightening up from the blow to my knee, I gave her a filthy look. She was panting. Like the fight was thrilling her more than the sex ever did.

I'm sorry, but that was insulting, to think that she enjoyed kicking my ass more than me being in hers.

When he said that about Jesse, it just drove me over the edge. I started throwing punches at him, not caring whether they connected with him or not. Don't think, just hit. And hit. And again.

'Struck a nerve, did I?'

My smile was electric; sick. She was crazy. Fists came flying at me. And damn, she had a mean right hook.

I caught it on the side of my face, and it knocked me back. I retaliated, grabbing her wrist and twisting it violently. She yelped, and stumbled, holding it her hand in what appeared to be considerable pain.

Shit, that HURT. I grabbed my wrist, feeling it throbbing in my hand.

I stopped moving for a moment, regaining my energy. He watched me, smiling this disgusting, twisted smile.

I kicked at him again.

My hand knocked her foot away before it could do any damage to anything I held dear. She went off balance for a moment, but recovered and threw a VERY heavy punch at my shoulder, striking true. I swore, and tried to grab her to keep her still, but she was too quick.

I'll give her that, at least.

Ducking from my snaking hands, she slammed her fist into my chin. My head flew back on impact, and a bout of pain blurred my vision for a second. I could taste traces of blood.

When I looked back down at her, there was no remorse on her face. Only hate, and the thrill of the fight.

I was not a man who hit women. But God . . . I was tempted then.

'You know your problem, Suze?' I glared, giving her a hard push backward, so she tripped and bashed against the door behind her. 'Anger. That's why you started this. You're angry at him. You're not his first priority, and YOU can't DEAL with that,' I shouted, kicking her legs from under her as she went to stand up. She winced, and landed on the ground again.

I took that opportunity to swoop down upon her, sitting on her stomach to keep her immobile. She tried smacking me one, amidst the twists and screams for release, but I jammed her hands by her head, glowered down into her eyes. 'You don't think he cares about you anymore,' I said. 'This is your way of getting back at him. You're angry.'

'Who died and made you Dr. Phil?' I snapped, unfazed by his psychobabble. He can analyze me as much as he wanted to, but it was useless.

Or so I told myself.

'Sex is a really good way to relieve tension, Suze,' I lowered my torso, my face hovering above hers. 'And if you're going back home today, well... looks like that healthy supply is going to dry right up, since he obviously isn't interested in it. At least, not with you.'

With a manic wave of rebellion, I asked her in a hiss, 'Is there any reason why he can't stand to touch you, Suze?'

I was momentarily speechless with fury, millions of comeback racing through my head but none hurtful enough for someone like him. A heartless bastard.

So I intelligently spat at his face.

Not the most witty of reactions I would have expected from her. One of the most disgusting, yes.

Smearing her saliva away, her wrist still in my hand, I smirked. 'I could ride you right here if I wanted to,' I said dauntingly. 'You know why?'

She looked at me poisonously.

'Because you want me to. I'm the only guy you've met who knows how to fuck, aren't I?'

Here we go again with the whole my-dick-is-be-all-and-end-all CRAP.

'You're so full of yourself, you're pathetic,' I sneered, shaking my head. 'I can't believe I had sex with you, much less so many times. I must have been inhaling some dirty New York air, because obviously I wasn't thinking.'

He looked a little taken aback, and I took advantage of that.

'You think that you're so GOOD, Paul? You think I came to you because you know how to fuck? Get over yourself!' I was on a roll, and it felt a relief to get it all off.

'You were available, and I was available, and it happened. Don't for one SECOND think that any of this would change my life or give me enlightenment. Because at the end of the day, whatever happens, you're not Jesse. He's still my husband.'

I spoke the next words slowly, to emphasise each one. 'So it's still a good day.'

My blood was too hot to bear.

. . . She was lying.

She had to be.

Because I KNEW that I was MORE than that to her. I was -

Fucking HELL, I was going to kill her.

His expression was unreadable now, just a blank stare, his arms on mine still as a statue. I finished off my rant crisply.

'Do you hear me?' I shouted at his face, feeling like I was the one who had the power, despite being pinned to the ground. 'You don't mean anything to me! Just like you don't mean anything to everyone else in your freaking life!'

Rage.

I'd felt it before, stirring below the surface. It had inspired many brazen actions on my part.

But I'd felt nothing, compared to that tiny piece of hell I felt then, when she said it, and I knew she meant it.

. . . She didn't love me. She never could.

My lip curled. Pain was evanescent, but the rage was what lasted. After EVERYTHING I'd done for her, she had the NERVE to just come OUT with it like that?

'Like hell,' I snarled.

And I threw one of her hands away, seized her jaw and smashed my mouth on hers, demanding entry; demanding love.

I was hurting her. A lot. She wailed in pain, into my mouth. My teeth ground her tongue.

Just LOVE me, damn it!

Even as I felt the blood in my mouth, all I thought about was, typical Paul. Reacts to everything with his other brain. It wasn't going to work though, not anymore.

But as I felt his weight pressing me down, his mouth almost suffocating me, a little piece of fear crept inside my head. Doubt started to flit about too, telling me that maybe I had gone too far with what I had said.

I struggled to get him off, but he was relentless, almost possessed. Fear for myself started to mix with fear for how this might look to Jesse, all these bruises.

I had to do something. Anything.

With all the force and anger I could muster, I threw a punch at him. It hit the side of his face, hard.

I didn't think.

That's all I could say in my defense.

I just didn't think.

When I felt the explosion of pain at the side of my head, something so fast and so primal was triggered, and I retaliated harder and faster than she could have handled.

I punched her right back, REALLY letting her have it in that split second of being rage's bitch.

A single shriek was torn from her. It was a reaction that was so feminine, alerting me to the horrible truth that I'd just hit her.

Her shriek died as soon as it had erupted. Her head rolled to side, and her chest swelled in a sharp breath that I felt entirely. Her hands clawed with tension. Every muscle in her body had seized up.

She was in shock.

Did he just - Oh God, he DID.

He hit me.

No, he PUNCHED me right on my face.

Well, you got what you asked for, right, Suze? I can't believe I even, for a moment, thought that I deserved it. Because I didn't.

Didn't I?

My mouth fell open. 'Oh, Suze,' I began dreadfully. 'I'm . . . God, I'm SO sorry, I - ' I scrambled off of her, terrified of my self. The rage had passed, and horror rendered me sick to death of what I'd just done.

I tried to help her up, but she came out of her coma of stillness, and thrashed away from me.

I won't forget the look in her eyes, then: betrayal.

I'd betrayed her in the worst possible way.

Before, as a man, I'd conquered her as an object of lust.

But now, as a man . . . I'd preyed on her as a woman.

'Suze - ' my voice wasn't my own. Emotion had taken possession, riddling it with regret and horror. I couldn't bear to say her name. It felt like I'd just lost that right.

Her eyes . . .

I just stared at him, unable to say anything. Then I realised that my hand was still on my forehead, where he had punched me. It seared with pain.

But somehow, the pain was incomparable to the fact that he was the one who caused it. His eyes looked full of regret, but it wasn't enough.

It didn't even feel real, what just happened. I can't even explain -

I got up and walked into the bathroom, still holding my head. When I shut the door, I didn't slam it, but the sound had a finality to it.

After the storm.

The click of the door cracked my spell.

'Suze!' I yelled, banging on the door. 'I'm sorry! I didn't - you were just - ' Shit. What excuse could I make for THAT? 'Suze, please!'

I took a moment to take a deep, deep breath, leaning against the door.

Then he banged against the door from the other side, and I quickly moved away from it. Ignoring his shouts, I turned to face the bathroom mirror instead.

I didn't even realise that I was shaking until I lowered my hand from my face, trying to look at the damage that was done. My face was stinging, and there was a red mark on my forehead. With a sinking feeling, I knew that tomorrow it would bruise.

Tomorrow. By which time I'm supposed to already arrive in Carmel.

It was obvious there's nothing left worth salvaging for here.

How stupid were you, Suze, to get into this mess in the first place? Now look where it all ended up. You, still the one hurting. And how the hell are you gonna leave, with him outside the door, screaming like a madman?

But it was now or never.

Taking another deep breath, I opened the bathroom door and walked out straight to the main door, where my bag was.

I think I might have pushed him aside in the process. I couldn't really tell. He did stop shouting, though.

He didn't stop me.

And I didn't stop either.

I left that hotel, and never came back.