So many thanx to Acerbitas for betaing! oh, yes, I always forget. Naruto not mine but Kishimoto-sama's

Cut through the shell 3

Lee spent the three following days going from utter depression to sprouts of almost masochistic training. After Gaara did not show up the day after their argument, he had been willing to go looking for him around the whole Konoha, breaking into the Hokage palace if necessary. But he had been afraid that, even if he would have found Gaara, the other boy wouldn't have wanted to see him.

TenTen insisted he should leave Gaara alone for a while, so as to not put any more pressure on him than he already had. That was sensate. Even if simply waiting was something that Lee dispised, there were few alternatives left.

He had been such a jerk. He had believed that things had been fine, had believed that Gaara and he could have really become friends, and that probably had been happening, when… he had ruined everything. He had pushed Gaara away, probably for good, with his nonsense and his totally overbearing attempts to… what? Make the other boy suddenly get over all he'd been through and start to become well suddenly? If Gaara was hating him now Lee couldn't complain much. He had been so pretentious… No amount of will and hard training could make him stop thinking about that. God, the only time in his life he had felt more down was when Tsunade-sama had told him he should give up his dreams…

And then there was that other little problem.

Yes, things were probably doomed to go like that… since he, in the first place, had not been sincere to Gaara. But what had he been supposed to do, he thought while repeatedly punching a tree on the second day's evening. TenTen, who had self-elected herself "Rock Lee Support Team," pretended to be busy checking her weapons nearby.

He had not planned for this to happen! He actually did not realize it was really happening untill the night he had found himself dozing off to sleep with Gaara's face in his mind.

He had thought he was going nuts: he had never been attracted to males before, at least not...not in more than a passing thought! But since the day after he had started to actually look at Gaara… and to feel things, in his guts that, to say things as they were, he had never felt when he was thinking about Sakura, or about any other person, for what that mattered… he had realized he liked Gaara, more than anybody else.

"YOU SAY WHAT!" TenTen's scream probably resounded all through the forest. She looked at him eyes wide open, while he frantically gestured at her to speak lower.

"Lee… I wanted you to get over Sakura… but not in order to get into… this! With him of all the people!"

"It is not as I could have done anything about it", answered the dark eyed boy, slightly put out at her reaction. "I… like him, ok? I can not get him out of my head. I can't… stop feeling good when I am with him, just as I can't stop feeling like I'm dying right now. It's… things are like this, and I don't care about what the others think!" He trailed off, knowing this was only partially true. He surely would have sunken even lower, if she, his best friend, would have turned her back on him.

Luckily, at least the basic issue of liking boys was not a problem. He had run to ask for advice from Gai-sensei (remaining general) as soon as he had admitted to himself that, for all his past romantic fantasies about Sakura, that Gaara was totally a different ground. This was something that had much more to do with those talks about hormones and stuff that they had given them at the academy. Gai-sensei had explained him that either this was an "adolescent phase" (which Lee hoped it was not), or it was for life. Either way, this was perfectly normal. He should not have been ashamed of living his life in his own way, and should let himself be lead by the passion of his youthfullness. There could be nothing wrong in that. Lee had been immensely relieved to hear that, and had thanked his sensei with tears in his eyes.

TenTen sighed, and sat down on the grass near him.

"Lee… are you ever planning to just be happy into your life?"

Lee chuckled, a bit of a sad sound. "Don't know, really."

"Apart… from everything, he's the Kazekage to be of another country… even if you two somehow made it work out...I don't know, the basics of it, even if he'd feels the same, would be so unlikely…".

"Well, since he seems not even willing to see me, maybe it won't even matter."

TenTen put an arm over his shoulders, whispering "Baka…" and they remained there in silence till nightfall.

It wasn't untill the fourth day late in the afternoon that Gaara showed up at the training field again. Lee was sparring with TenTen, intent on increasing his speed in order to get as near as he could to her while dodging the impressive amount of weapons she could throw at him. When his eyes caught the dark red-clad figure standing silently behind a tree, on the clearing edge, the taijutsu specialist almost tripped and got himself staked by a kunai.

"Gaara!" he could not stop himself from shouting like a moron, as he ran to stop right in front of the other boy. His huge, happy grin was met by Gaara's usual unreadable stare, but he didn't care. He had come back to see him, so either he was not so mad with him anymore, or he had come to finish him. Anything was better than be left wondering.

TenTen coughed loudly beside him, and Lee turned, a bit embarrassed. She was retrieving her weapons back.

"Ah… uhm…"

"So, I'll go to talk to Gai-sensei about that thing, ok?" she said, and as she walked pass, Lee heard a muffled "Told you so." He sent her a grateful glance.

"Ok! See you…"

Gaara followed her with his eyes. Just before disappearing into the wood, she turned, to face directly the sand-ninja.

"Hey! Tell your sister next time we meet I want another round with her! She owes me one!" Then she leapt and disappeared through the trees.

Gaara's face was puzzled. He glanced at Lee, who was smiling nervously.

"You really are all the same, around there?"

"Eh? Uhm, sort of…" Lee took a long breath and clenched his fist. Ok, here they were. Determination, that was the word. First of all, he had to say he was sorry for what had happened. Then he had to make Gaara understand how he really wanted to be his friend, and even if Gaara didn't feel like reciprocating, he could not stop Lee from caring for him in the way friends do. Yeah, definitely, friends. Not the time to freak him out again with… with something…

"I got a message from Suna, this morning."

Gaara's monotone interrupted Lee's mental planning.

"What?"

The younger boy stepped past Lee into the clearing, his back and the gourd facing the Leaf-ninja.

"I have to get back to my village. Leaving tomorrow at the least. My presence is required: political issues about my father's inheritance".

"…Oh…" Those words had to be the sound of the world crushing Lee's back. He looked down. Oh, right. Well, he knew that Gaara would have to go back to Suna, eventually. He just… had completely removed the thought from his head. He suddenly felt his eyes prickle, and quickly blinked. That was not the moment for tearing, as manly as it could be.

"I wanted to talk with you, before leaving." Gaara turned to look at him. "I thought about what you said. A lot".

"Ah… listen, I have to explain myself… I…"

"You were right".

"…just talked without thinking and… what?"

Gaara eyed him a bit critically, then he let out a breath and went on, looking directly into the older boy's eyes with his crystalline ones.

"You were right. I believe I won't ever understand completely what it means to be normal, human, because of what I am." The red-haired boy lifted a hand to prevent Lee from interrupting. "But I want to try anyway, and get the little that I am able to. I am not forced to become what my father, what who created me wants me to be. Uzumaki Naruto showed me first, showed me that I can choose, and what I want to choose to do is… protect my village, since I've got the strength to do it. And I wish I could learn to share something with the others. You showed that to me. You showed me that maybe that… something, that closeness, that I could feel that too. Maybe. That's..." A bit of the old smirk came over Gaara's face. "If someone actually wants to get close to me".

"Of course they will!" exclaimed Lee, unable to contain his happiness anymore. "I want to become your friend. I thought it was clear, and your brother and sister… Maybe right now they don't know what to do, and probably they too are concerned they could hurt you, but I bet they're just waiting a sign from you that they can come close! I know it!"

"Kankuro and Temari… yes, I believe they still care for me, somehow. In spite of all I've done, in spite of how awkward things are right now. But you are a special case."

Lee didn't stop to wonder if Gaara was referring to his almost non-existent survival instinct, or to some other thing. He extended an arm, thumb-up, and flashed Gaara his best trademark smile.

"If you have the will, I'm sure you can do that! There's no doubt! You're strong enough!"

Gaara looked at him non-plussed, and Lee got the impression he had… Lee sighed, almost inadvertedly. Then the sand ninja brought up a hand, looking at it. He closed his fingers, letting the nails dig into the thin layer of sand, breaking it. Lee watched the smooth surface reforming immediately, flawless.

"But I don't think I can do it, right now. Let go of all this. It's been with me for too much a long time."

"You don't have to push yourself. It will come with time, and practice, I believe. Someday you'll be able to touch other people, and let you be touched, without even thinking about it," Lee said softly. Then he laughed a little. "And after all, for a ninja I still do believe that Sand Armour is something amazing to have. I think… the Sand is part of you, right? You'll just have to get used not feeling everything around you is a menace… uhm, maybe..." Lee averted his gaze, blushing. Again, he was talking freely of things he did not know at all. He should have stopped spiting out sentence after sentence about Gaara's private life…

"Maybe." Gaara closed his eyes, letting Lee steal a look at his flawless face. The dark signs around his eyes… it pained Lee thinking about what they were from, but still he couldn't avoid to finding them fascinating. Because they were another part of what was Gaara, and everything about him was beautiful. Lee breathed deeply. Not going into it. Not now.

"That's why I came to see you," Gaara said.

"Eh? Why?"

The younger boy opened his eyes. Now they showed detemination, a tiny line crossing his forehead.

"I can't let the sand go away. I don't want it either, cause it is my strength, it's what I need to protect my village. But I think I can let someone… into it. With me. Close."

Lee stared, confused.

"What do you mean?"

Instead of answering, Gaara let the gourd uncork with a soft sound. Sand floated out, creating a circle around the two boys, moving slowly in ripples.

Lee looked around, feeling a bit less comfortable than he wished. The sand was low, slow, unmenacing to say the least, but still... He looked up to find that Gaara had stepped near than arms distance. The sand surrounded them, getting thicker.

"Do you understand?"

Lee nodded. Yeah, he thought he got what Gaara was suggesting. And somewhere in his brain there was a warning bell, which he usually ignored, that was starting to ring. This could lead to something bad…

Gaara's glanced away, somewhere to Lee's right, like he was fearful to see his reaction.

"I don't know if I'll ever come back here, like this. Probably not. This is the only way that right now I can get close to… someone".

"You don't have to, if you don't feel like you're ready." As Lee talked, an irritating little voice started resounding in the back of his head, asking who he was trying to protect, this time. That made him angry enough to immediately erase any chance to quit.

"I want to…" Gaara was, for the first time Lee could remember, having difficulties at voicing his usually straight to the point ideas. That was unusual and made Lee wish he could just… touch his face, make him turn to look at him, reassuring him… but that was just a fantasy.

Finally the younger boy looked up.

"I owe you this. After all you did, I owe you to at least try, before I lose the chance."

"…You don't owe me anything…" whispered Lee.

"And I don't want this… try to be with anybody but you. If you want it too…".

He was so close that it made Lee flinch. Maybe… he quickly shook the thoughts away from his head. Gaara was talking about general human contact, that was very clear. Lee must not start to make up things.

And… he was right. This was for sure his last chance to get this near to Gaara. After all, it had been him who had been draging the other boy to this point, right? What kind of coward would he be if he backed now?

The nervousness forgotten, for the moment, Lee grinned. That sounded like a challenge.

"Of course!" he said.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes… I know I can trust you, right." Ouch, that had come out like it was question, Lee scolded himself.

Gaara's eyes got an air of dark determination that was almost scary.

"Yes. I will never hurt you again."

"Then…" Lee motioned at the sand around them. "Do what you want."

Gaara nodded, and took another step closer. Now they were only inches apart, Gaara's eyes almost at level with Lee's.

"Stay still."

As he took on that kind of lifeless stillness only shinobis were trained to have, Lee caught a glimpse of the sand, of much more sand, rising behind him, coming around and over them.

The next moment they were surrounded by darkness.