CSI: NY – The Musical!
Disclaimer: All your base belongs to us! Everything else you can keep
Summary: I got life! Life! Life! Life! Life!
AN: I got the twentieth anniversary edition of HAIR and the book of the musical and at roughly eleven o'clock I whipped this out. It came to me in a rather disturbing vision. But it seems that the greatest characters are always the medical examiners. This is the most worthless chapter yet.
Bonus Chapter - I Got Life
Dr. Sid Hammerback looked over the clothing of the John Doe that was brought in by Danny and Stella; he was wearing a tee shirt that read in large block letters 'I GOT LIFE.' Sid couldn't quash the laugh that was evoked from the irony of the statement.
"Not anymore. Hey Marty, come 'ere." Marty Pino was the younger medical examiner and Sid knew that he too would find humor in the situation. Pino took one look at the set up and howled.
"I got life?" the doctor chocked out between breaths, "What kind of slogan is that?"
"Perhaps if he didn't advertise the fact he was still alive people would assume he wasn't because he was so inert?" Sid offered as a weak explanation.
"Probably a college kid - that was my last vegetative state." Marty suggested, composure returning.
"Well the shirt is only telling us past truths so let's get if off of him." Sid said. Once the shirt was removed Pino began to bag it as evidence.
"Hang on a second," Sid stopped him, "What's the back say?" Marty laid the back of the shirt out flat for them to read. In the same block letters that proclaimed 'I GOT LIFE' on the front was on the back; 'I GOT LIFE MOTHER, I GOT LAUGHS SISTER, I GOT FREEDOM BROTHER, I GOT GOOD TIMES MAN. I GOT CRAZY WAYS DAUGHTER; I GOT MILLION – DOLLAR CHARM COUSIN.' Sid was quite for a moment before saying,
"I got headaches and toothaches and bad times too, like you." There was a pause as Sid laid aside his clip board and unhooked his glasses. A beat.
"I got my hair, I got my head, I got my brains, I got my ears," He began to sing and dance around pointing to the anatomy he named in his song. "I got my eyes, I got my nose, I got my mouth, I got my teeth, I got my tongue, I got my chin," Marty slowly backed away from the singing dancing forty something, giving him a look that clearly mirrored his thoughts, the guy was crazy. "I got my neck, I got my tits, I got my heart, I got my soul, I got my back, I got my ass," To hear the man say tits was bad enough in Pinto's world but with the announcement of the fact that Sid Hammerback still had his ass and with his hand poised to smack it Marty could only cower with a covered face and shout over the song,
"For the love of God, NO SID!"
"I got my arms, I got my hands, I got my fingers, Got my legs, I got my feet, I got my toes, I got my liver, Got my blood," Sid kept singing and dancing despite the protests. It was a high energy show, even if it was frightening. "I got my guts, I got my muscles,
I got life! Life!" He was thankfully in the troughs of his grand finally. "Life! Life! Life!
LIFE!" With a sustained off key note and jazz hands Sid Hammerback finished his song and dance routine. He returned to his station behind the slab and put his glasses back on like nothing had happened. Marty looked at him with wide eyes.
"What the hell was that?"
"That?" Hammerback spoke like nothing strange had happened. "Oh that, the quote on the Vic's shirt was from the American tribal Love – Rock Musical Hair."
"Dude, and the singing and dancing?" Pino asked.
"Dude," Sid said looking over his glasses, "Hair was my ERA man. It was my love – rock musical."
"Dude it was my nightmares materialized."