Heyhey. I'm in Maui, without a way to update any of my stories. So by the time you read this, I will probably be home or I will have found a way to update without my memory stick. On with the Genma torturing!

Edit: I hooked up my laptop to an internet jack because I was getting death threats. Go figure. They weren't necessarily for this story… but some people are seriously drugged by oO

Look, palm trees!

To Torment a Genma, part two

A lull in the bar washed away any obtrusive noises that had been going on beforehand. Genma had stepped in, an the immediate feeling of bad vibrations sent every Shinobi to edge. There was something wrong with him, and they couldn't quite place it.

"Hey, Gen-"

"Don't talk to me." The bandana-clad man busied himself with making his way to the bar counter and avoiding every recognizable face he could. "Hey, hey , you always put toothpicks in your little food platter things!" he declared to the bartender, one hand slapping down a twenty dollar bill to the table. "I'll pay you for all of them!"

A mildly perplexed look washed over the bartender, "What? Oh, you mean those cute little sandwiches and stuff we used to sell? The cook that made those for all of the bars and delis passed away, so we don't get them anymore. Sorry about that! Have you tried the local restaurants?"

"Yes! They were sued for little kids stabbing themselves in the mouth with toothpicks so now none of them carry toothpicks!" his hands tossed into the air dramatically and clenched at invisible throats. "This is all an elaborate conspiracy to spite me, I know it!" his eyes danced with a crazed anger, fire burning somewhere deep within him.

"Um… would you like a drink?"

"NO! I want a senbon!" he turned sharply, nearly bowling over a fearful patron of the bar. Genma snarled at the haphazard bystander and stormed back through the bar to the door. "I'm gonna kill this & #&(#$ bastard!"

o0O0o

"…You think Kakashi killed the cook to make sure there were no toothpicks in Konoha?" Raidoh stared at Genma with a pained face. "Have you completely lost your mind?"

Genma stopped to consider a moment. Kakashi was a crazy bastard, but he wasn't really the type to take someone life for an evil joke. But he wouldn't put the asshole past 'severe wounding'. Kakashi was known to draw blood for good jokes. Killing may have been a step or three too far, though.

"No… but… this is completely impossible! Someone is playing a seriously dirty trick on me!" he defended, one finger poking the tabletop viciously. "I know it!"

Raidoh sighed and shook his head, leaning over his dinner. "You're just losing it. You're just not looking in the right places. This is a Shinobi village, meaning, there are sore shinobi, meaning, they go to acupuncturists."

Genma's eyes lit up like a child with Saturday morning cartoons.

o0O0o

"Excuse me, I'm here-"

"WHAT! Speak up child!" The old woman behind the counter leaned forward, cupping one hand around her ear.

Genma faltered a moment, then raised his voice, "Excuse me! I'm here to ask if you have any extra acupuncture needles!"

She shook her head at him perplexed, crossing her flabby arms over an ample yet sagging bosom. "Why the hell would you come here looking for bugs? We don't have bugs!"

He stared, jaw dropping open but no sound making its way from his throat.

"WHAAAAAT! SPEAK UP!" She crowed even louder, leaning forward.

Genma planted his hands on the counter and leaned forward as well. "No! Acupuncture needles for sale!"

"We don't have money for bail, get the hell out of my business you pervert!" She emerged from around the corner with a broom, beating at Genma's ankles until he was running for the door in panic.

"Goddamit you old hag, I'm looking for- ah!" he was abruptly stopped by a form not to much larger than his own, but perceptibly smellier. He cringed and looked up into what could have been considered one sixth of a face. "Kakashi!"

"Oh, hello Genma. You know that's really no way to talk to an old lady, especially one as nice as Mrs. Sakumo." He smiled and waved to the flabby armed old woman.

She beamed, her face morphing from 200 year old pissed off dinosaur to sweet grandmother. "Oh, Kakashi-san! You must be so tired, look at those clothes! Would you like to eat something while we work on you?"

"Oh, that's not necessary, I can just wait for food. It's only been a day or two since I've eaten-"

"Well then I'll just whip you up some lunch, okay? You go strip and lie down on the table in there and I'll send Mr. Sakumo right in, alright?" she purred, taking his arm and patting a few bruises on his knuckles.

"That sounds wonderful, Mrs. Sakumo, thank you. – Hey, Genma… where's your senbon today?" he asked curiously, one finger scratching at the corner of his mouth to indicate the missing article.

The shinobi in question's ears turned purple, cheeks puffing indignantly. "GODAMMIT!" he turned and stormed from the room, "I'm going to kill you Hatake Kakashi!" he pounded the door open, ignoring the announcement bells that went sailing down the sidewalk.

Kakashi snickered and looked down to Mrs. Sakumo. "Maybe I should pay for his treatment, too?"

Aaah… poor Genma's losing it, ne? What should we do about that?

XD -Aia