Title: Unmasked

Author: Nadia Mack

Rating: K+

Disclaimer: I Own Nothing

Summary: Post Superman Returns. Behind the hero is a man longing to be free.

Author's Notes: Thanks again for the feedback; I'm short on time so I'm just going to get right to it. Enjoy!

Chapter 17: Tears

The following morning felt serene. Some time really late last night, Lois's body refused to follow her mind's stubbornness and conspired to finally get some rest, falling asleep on a DuraPella mocha chaise Ottoman sofa that was located just a few feet from Clark's bed.

Lifting her heavy eyelids, she was surprised to be greeted by a pair of clear blue eyes, his body illuminated by the rays of light that cascaded into the room from the windows.

"Clark!" she sat up, startled, as realization hit.

He smiled his quiet smile as his eyes continued to watch her. Lois felt his gaze intensely but she refused to let it affect her too much. This was what she had been waiting for and now that it was here, she didn't know what to say. Words seemed useless now after everything that had come to pass between them.

"Hi," he said finally, lifting his head ever-so-slightly before putting it back down on the soft pillow.

"You're up," she said before mentally smacking herself. "Right, of course you are," she added awkwardly. Why had she become a bumbling idiot all of a sudden? "How are you?" There. That seemed a reasonable enough question to start with.

Lois had thought she had this moment mapped out to the final detail, but her mind filled with a blankness she didn't think was quite possible to achieve. She looked down and found herself holding onto the teddy bear he had won for their son and momentarily wondered how she ended up with it. Jason must've left it with her last night. She loved that boy to death.

"I think I'll live," he said with a tiny bit of playfulness. She saw his slight smile and was finally able to relax.

She cleared her throat. "So, how long have you been awake?"

"Is this an interview?"

Lois chuckled as the tension in the air, on her part at least, began to lift. She stood up, leaving the stuffed bear behind, before approaching the bed carefully. His eyes followed her every move and she found herself wondering how her hair looked, and went quickly about smoothing it. She must look awful.

As if reading her mind, he said, "You look beautiful."

Or not, she thought. "You haven't answered my question." Her redirection would have worked if he hadn't responded with one of his charming grins. She sighed. Humility was not one of her strong points, but she seemed to be practicing it a lot lately.

"I didn't want to wake you," he replied in a soft voice that was neither Clark nor Superman. This must be what he sounded like when he was both, and Lois found herself liking all versions.

"How long exactly have you been awake?"

"A few hours," he answered casually.

Her eyes opened as wide as saucers. "A few hours?" she repeated in disbelief. "And you didn't think to bother waking me up? I was so worried about you."

Clark expressed no feelings of guilt for letting her sleep until daylight. Once he had awakened and his mind had become fully conscious of his surroundings and the events that led him to his state in the first place, he had forced his eyes to see what he thought was impossible.

Lois.

Not once did he feel the urge to wake her; he just wanted to lie there a little longer watching her sleep, knowing that she wasn't going to go away. Besides, she had done it all day for him and he happily wanted to return the favor.

"You looked so peaceful, and I was content to just watch you," he admitted with all honesty. "And I was… afraid."

Lois closed the distance between them, her hand reaching out to intertwine with his. "Afraid?" She let their fingers touch before sealing them together.

"I was afraid that you'd disappear if I did," he revealed with all the emotion he had suppressed inside.

"I'm right here," she replied softly, sitting down on the bed beside him. "I'm not going anywhere."

A lone tear escaped his eye as Lois slowly wiped it away with her other hand. For a while, they were silent. Not an uncomfortable silence, just silence. As if they were sorting through their thoughts until finally, Clark spoke.

"How long have you known?"

She raised her eyebrow. "Is that really what you want to ask first? Because I thought it'd be 'how did I find out'?"

"That's sort of neck and neck with 'how mad are you'?"

She chuckled; the discovery that Clark had a pretty wicked sense of humor impressed her, but she did think about his words. Her anger over his lack of disclosure had long dissipated within her along with any resentment she had over it. His second near-death experience furthered to help her forgive him of his shortcomings when it came to the truth, and her failing to see his worth long before she inadvertently discovered it.

"I'm not mad."

He quirked his eyebrow in disbelief, and if he hadn't looked so helpless in bed, she would've given him hell for thinking so.

"At first I was," she agreed, allowing him to know at least some of the disappointment and hurt she had felt about the situation several weeks ago. "And then I was hurt."

Clark sighed, ashamed. "That's worse than mad." He paused; his heart was beating faster than normal for him. "I'm sorry I hurt you... Again."

"I understand why you did it."

"It's not what you think."

"Then enlighten me."

"I wasn't just afraid about retaliation if anyone found out who I was, and what you mean to me. I was afraid of hurting other people as well. You. Jason. Richard, even. I was afraid of failing you. I'm not normal and I can't always be there for you like Richard has been, but I've regretted every moment since leaving."

"You should've said goodbye." The thought of Richard wasn't as painful to think about or to hear now that she knew exactly where she wanted to be.

"If I had, I never would have left."

Clark's admission caught her off guard. Their relationship back then, as secretive as it was, was serious. So serious that the result was a child. Their child. Even though it all came unexpectedly for her, she felt deeply for him, and he her. Her only regret was not knowing him as well as she should have.

"You did what you had to do. Even you can't keep the world from spinning."

Clark grinned at her reply, and she wondered what it was that he found so amusing.

"What?"

"That's the same thing my mother said."

Lois smiled. "She's a smart lady. Why you're so dense, I'll never know."

Clark laughed, a rare action she would never take for granted. His laughter came so infrequently, both as Clark and as Superman, that she hoped, after today, there would be more of it in his… their life.

"I'd love for you to meet her."

She felt a nervous knot develop in her stomach, and it wasn't a pleasant feeling at all.

"I'd love to finally meet her, too."

The thought of meeting his mom was just too much for her mind to contemplate. To the world, he was Superman, and that would mean, his mother would be something like a Supermom. Thinking of it further was nerve-wracking so she forcefully put it aside and thought of something else.

"Jason's here," she said, pointing to the door. He was sleeping across the hall in the guest room.

"I know," he said, smiling. He closed his eyes and focused on the rhythm of their child's heart. "He's still sleeping."

Lois looked blankly at Clark, then to the closed door, and to Clark again. "What did you do just now? It didn't look like you were x-raying the door or anything."

He shook his head, trying to hide his smile but it was no use. "No."

"Then how did you – "

"I could hear his heartbeat, it's soothing. Just like yours."

"Mine?" she said a little dumbfounded by the new revelation. "You listen to my heartbeat?" he nodded and she was still quite surprised by it. "Seriously?" she expressed, still in disbelief.

Clark chuckled at her reaction. "Before I left for Krypton, I used to fall asleep at night listening to your heartbeat. I'd let the rhythm of it surround me, roll me off to dreamland," he explained, getting lost in the memory of it.

Lois's mouth slightly dropped. "I didn't know that."

"I don't deserve your forgiveness for all that I've put you through, but here you are, and I have to remind myself sometimes that you're not a dream and I'm really holding your hand."

"Where was all this six years ago?" she asked, sighing. This was without a doubt the first conversation that they'd ever had together where they were both free to truly share their feelings, and now that it was here, she was even more frustrated at all the near misses in their relationship.

Clark looked away, unable to meet her watering eyes. "I love you," he said softly. "I never stopped, and I don't think I ever will."

Lois took a deep breath. She knew he loved her, but hearing it aloud felt like a shot of electricity through her, bringing her back to life. Through all the hardships, the distance, the pain and the years that had separated them, those very words defeated anything she thought and feared would get in their way.

"That's quite interesting," she said, moving her hand to his chin and guiding his face back to hers. "Because I happen to love you too." Lois was about to lean down and kiss him when they heard a knock on the door. She let out a deep sigh. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Is he awake now?" a little voice said from behind the door.

Clark smiled as Lois chuckled. This was one distraction they would allow. "Come in, sweetie. He's awake."

Jason opened the door and a big smile broke through his somber demeanor. As soon as he caught sight of his mother and Clark wide awake, he ran toward them with excitement but stopped when he arrived halfway through.

Confused, Lois looked at her son. "Sweetie, what's wrong?"

Not knowing what to do, Jason looked between the two adults nervously. "I don't know what to call you," he admitted.

Clark blinked, confused himself. He stared at Lois to help him understand what was happening but she was no help at all. She moved from his side and made her way to Jason, kneeling down in front of him so they could face one another at eye level and suggested, "Well, for now you can call him Clark."

Jason frowned, knowing somehow that it didn't seem right. "But he's my daddy, too," the little boy argued.

Clark was stunned to the point of silence. Jason knew who he was and openly acknowledged that he was his father. While his heart was filled with so much happiness, at this point he just had to wonder just how long he had been out of it.

"He knows?"

The look on Lois's face told him everything. "I told him last night."

"That was real?" While unconscious, Clark recalled voices, but they were so distant, it was hard to believe that they were real. Now he knew, and he was glad of it. Clark gently sat up, and when he realized he was devoid of any pain, he slowly stepped out of the bed and approached Lois and Jason.

"Hi, Jason," Clark said, kneeling before him. "I hope I didn't scare you."

"A little," he said softly, reaching out to his father and tracing the outline of his face. "Mommy and I were worried."

Clark smiled. "I'll be careful next time, I promise." He held his hand out and Jason slowly took it. When he pulled him in, Jason wrapped his little arms around Clark's neck and held onto him tightly. Having his son in his arms made him feel like soaring.

"I love you," Jason muttered in his shoulder, further surprising Clark as Lois looked on, feeling another weight lifted from their complicated lives.

"I love you, too," Clark replied, tears building in his eyes and then added, "I love you very much."

To be continued…