Same Old Song
Chapter One: Iruka's Trip Across the Street
Pairings: Kakashi/Iruka
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Notes:
Have you ever worked in a restaurant before?
This story takes place in a Hooters in the U.S. You know, Anytown U.S.A. There may be some discrepancies between Iruka's Hooters and real Hooters, but please bear with me.
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Slightly distressed, Umino Iruka watched 'his girls' visit their morning regulars as he put an assortment of coin rolls in the front register. It looked like the same frat guys that always requested Sakura were talking to her again, showing her some textbook or other. He could hear Temari arguing with one of the cooks in Spanish in the break room, or possibly just chatting pleasantly—he didn't know the language, but they sure were loud. Ino brought some coffee to an old white guy in the smoking section, but no before bumping into Hinata, the new hostess, who shrunk back from the blonde waitress timidly and let her pass. TenTen was late, but she tended to pop out of nowhere and Iruka honestly couldn't remember a day in the last month that he had seen her clock in or out; it was her way, and it frightened some of her customers.
At the age of twenty-six, he was one of the assistant managers of the local Hooters. His boss, Tsunade, had decided to skip out on work that day. Iruka tried to kindly attribute this habit to old age, though he knew that it was actually the result of alcohol and a lazy lifestyle.
His brown eyes scanned the floor and he realized what it was that had been bothering him all morning. It was ten-thirty and there were only five tables in the whole place.
I know this isn't IHOP or Denny's, he thought, but there aren't many breakfast places around here, so we usually get at least a little business in the mornings.
Iruka watched the floor for a few minutes from the register, a frown clear and hard on his face. Hinata joined him at the register and, after a moment of silence, she asked, "Iruka? Is everything okay?"
Oblivious to her concern, he shook his head and said roughly, "No, it's not. We're slow."
"Oh," she said softly before turning to watch the door.
Iruka sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't get it," he muttered after another minute.
Ino's customer walked to the front to pay, and Hinata took care of him while Iruka continued to look around the restaurant. "That waitress is a rude little bitch," the old man said under his breath, glancing at Hinata.
This took Hinata by surprise, and she stared at him for a minute before saying, "I'm so sorry!"
"I'm just saying, that was not good service," he added.
"Um, then I hope you get a new waitress next time!" Hinata tried cheerfully.
He stared at her and shook his head as he left.
Hinata sighed. Her assistant manager's presence was making her nervous, but she couldn't ask him to go away, so she took a breath and turned to face him. "Iruka, I know it's bothering you that we don't have any business, but…"
He looked up and opened his mouth to say something when Ino shouted from the kitchen, "Where the fuck is everyone?"
If there had been any customers in Hooters right then, Iruka would have been furious with Ino. He shared her sentiments right then, though, so he clapped his hands together and walked into the center room.
"Girls, everyone, please come in," he called. Surely enough, Sakura, Ino, Temari, Hinata, and even TenTen joined him in the middle room. He stared at TenTen for a moment before continuing.
"I'm going to have to send at LEAST one of you home for today," he said.
"Fine with me," was Ino's response. "No reason to be here today."
Iruka glanced at his other three waitresses. "Is that okay with you girls?" he asked.
Temari rolled her eyes. "Whatever, I'll stay if you NEED me to," she said, waving at the empty restaurant.
"Well, I…" Iruka started. It would be risky to send too many of his day waitresses home, because there was always a chance, no matter how slim, that a sudden rush would come and leave the remaining waitresses under a lot of stress.
He thought for a moment, and instead of answering the question in Temari's reply, Iruka looked back at his waitresses and Hinata. "Does anyone have any idea as to why we're so empty right now?"
Hinata shook her head. "I haven't been here long, but we usually have a lot more people at this time of day…"
"And there aren't any parades or holidays today," TenTen added, "though a holiday would make it busier but, whatever."
"It's the Sipper," Sakura said.
Iruka stared at her for a moment before she walked to one of the front windows and pointed across the street. "See that place?" she asked, pointing to a recently renovated building done in the style of a 1950's diner, "that, is the Sipper. It's our neighborhood coffee house for gay guys."
Iruka and the others joined her next to the window. After staring at the building for a moment, he asked, "Why would it be them? It's such a little place!"
"I went there last week, for their opening," Sakura said. "The food there is excellent, and there's only one waiter there but damn, he's good. I even got to meet the owners." She turned from the window and shrugged. "Maybe you should check it out."
"With the restaurant empty like this," Iruka said, "I guess I could go look…" he frowned. "Why is there a gay coffee place here? We're not in the gay district!"
"Well, not all gay guys live in the gay district, do they?" Temari asked. "I mean, where do you live, Iruka?"
Iruka flushed red. "That's not the point!"
Sakura laughed a little. "Actually, it's more of a family place. It's pretty nice, once you're inside."
"Well…" I want to check it out, to see what our competition is like, but I don't want to go there by myself. The waiter might think I'm lonely and talk to me forever…
Iruka faced his waitresses and Hinata. "Girls, time for a field trip. Now, who wants to pretend to be my girlfriend?"
Ino jumped up and down. "Me! Me!"
He gave her a look. "Didn't I just say you could go home?"
She shrugged. "Would you rather go there with a girl who's on the clock?"
"Well, if you come with me they might think you're a fag hag and that'll give me away, so I'll stick with one of the others."
"He's kind of right, Ino," TenTen affirmed, nodding her head. "You ARE the type."
The blonde waitress pouted but said nothing else.
"I'll go," Sakura offered. "I didn't bring any other clothes with me, though, so if you have a jacket I could borrow…" She waved a hand in the air to let him know she wasn't too interested in the matter.
"I don't really want to," TenTen said. "If I get a customer, I want to be able to jump out and get them stuff!"
"Yeah," Iruka said, slightly derailed, "I've been meaning to talk to you about that habit…"
"If Hinata doesn't want to go, I'll go," Temari offered, glancing at the hostess. "I am the most age-appropriate, after all."
"I-it's okay," Hinata said. "I don't r-really want to go."
Iruka clapped his hands together. "Then, it's settled," he said, "Temari is going to be my fake girlfriend, and Ino is going home." He turned to Temari and said, "Let me get my jacket from the office. Do you want to change…?"
Temari nodded. "I'll be ready in five."
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As the loving couple stepped into The Sipper, Iruka expected to hear techno music. Instead, the small restaurant was filled with the sound of the Beatles', which he still though was pretty gay, but the rest of the restaurant wasn't too bad in his book. Iruka now confirmed what Sakura had told him earlier: there were three families eating together, a few couples, and one loner with silver hair whose face was hidden behind a book.
Iruka's opinion of the Sipper was shaken when the waiter strode up to greet them. He was a little shorter than Iruka, and he had face-framing black hair and cool black eyes. His uniform, or perhaps his club gear, because that was what it looked like to Iruka, consisted of a skin-tight black shirt that was long-sleeved on the right and short-sleeved on the left, and a pair of tight black pants. He smiled at them as if he didn't have a care in the world and asked, "Will it be two for you today? Sorry if you wanted smoking, this is a smoke-unfriendly restaurant."
Iruka was silently glad that he'd brought one of the waitress who didn't smoke. "That would be perfect," he said. "But…" he leaned closer to whisper. "Please not next to the kids."
The waiter nodded, picked up two menus, and brought them to a table near the lone man. "My name is Sai, and I'll be your waiter," he said, laughing a little, "not like you two have a choice. What can I get for you to drink?" Before they could answer, he suggested, "Coffee?"
Iruka nodded and waved him off. "And you, dear?" he asked Temari.
She rolled her eyes. "Coffee's fine," she said before kicking Iruka under the table.
Sai nodded and ran off to the kitchen.
"Now HE'S gay," Temari said.
"I was embarrassed just looking at him," Iruka said under his breath.
The loner sitting next to them looked over his shoulder and Iruka made a mental note to keep his voice down.
When their waiter returned, he dropped off two mugs of coffee and a glass of water for Temari. She stared at it for a moment before smirking at Iruka. "Hah. You didn't get one."
Iruka frowned. "That's bad service."
The silver-haired man stopped reading his book.
"I do drink a lot of water, though," Temari said. She took a sip before looking around the table for sugar and creamer. There were none.
"What the hell?" she asked, looking around at the other tables. Not one table in the restaurant had salt, pepper, or sugar on it.
Iruka started to look for their waiter. "Where'd he go? Even Ino knows better than to give someone coffee and not to give them sugar and creamer! And where's the salt and pepper?"
Temari sighed. "Well, the service isn't good, but…"
"Try it." the silver-haired loner said in a low voice.
Iruka turned to face him. "Are you talking to us, sir?" he asked.
"Try your coffee before you complain. Sometimes, you won't understand until you question just a little more," the loner said without looking up from his book.
Iruka frowned at him as Temari sipped her coffee.
"Wow!" she said.
"What?" Iruka asked, turning around to face her.
She held up the coffee cup for him to see. "It's already sweetened! And there's cream! And it tastes like hazelnut…I love hazelnut! I didn't even know they had syrups here for coffee!"
Skeptical, Iruka lifted his coffee cup and took a small sip. He was surprised to find that the strong black coffee was loaded with sugar. Upon a second inspection, he noted that his coffee was several shades darker than Temari's, cream or no cream.
"Now you understand," the loner said in a bored voice.
Sai walked back to their table and smiled at the couple. "Do you two know what you want to eat, or should I come back in a minute?"
"Oh, we haven't even looked at the menu," Temari said.
Sai nodded and walked off.
Somewhat unsteady, Iruka opened his menu. "Crepes? Cream puffs? Chocolate pancakes?"
"Holy crap, this stuff sounds good," Temari said.
Iruka frowned. "And it's fairly priced, too. Most places like this overcharge like crazy."
Temari smiled. "Well, there's only one waiter to pay. Maybe he's the chef, too!"
The loner laughed quietly.
Sai rejoined them after a minute. "Are you two lovebirds ready?" he asked.
"Yeah, I'll have the crepes with strawberries thing," Iruka said, folding his menu and returning it to their waiter.
"I'll have whatever," Temari said. "Just order something; I trust your judgment." She handed him her menu and he walked off with a smile.
The loner smiled. Yes. Good boy.
Iruka have hera look. "'I trust your judgment'?" he asked with a snort. "What the hell was that?"
"Shut up!" she hissed at him. "He knew how I liked my damn coffee, okay?"
Sai returned with Iruka's crepes and a waffle with ice cream on top for Temari. "There are hazelnuts and pecans in the waffle," he said, "and I had the cook add caramel syrup on top."
As he turned to leave, Temari grabbed his arm. "Who are you?" she asked, five seconds away from breaking out into shocked laughter.
"Just…a guy making four bucks an hour," he said, leaving them once again with a smile.
"FOUR BUCKS?" Temari hissed at Iruka. "What the…I get two and change, plus tips!"
Iruka shook his head. "I don't know how they can afford it…well, with one waiter, maybe."
"I think he wants a good tip, and he's going to get one, too," Temari said. As Iruka opened his mouth in protest, she said, "Shut up, I don't care, he's like a psychic or something. I couldn't guess stuff like this if my customers asked me to order for them."
"So the service is good, and the food looks good," Iruka said, trying to be objective, "but how does it taste?"
He and Temari unrolled the silverware their waiter had brought them and pulled out their forks. They could each only bring the fork above the food, though.
"I don't want to hurt it," Temari lamented after a few seconds of this.
Iruka rolled his eyes. "Your ice cream is melting."
"I know!"
Iruka took a breath and stabbed his crepe. When no angels died, he picked up his knife and began to cut it into smaller pieces. Temari watched her ice cream melt for another minute before picking up her knife and cutting into her waffle.
They ate in a silent appreciation of their second breakfast, and of The Sipper in general. Temari left ten bucks on the table and Iruka silently agreed with the tip.
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"We're fucked," Iruka said as he sunk into one of the boots near the front of Hooters.
Sakura sat down with him. "Come on, Iruka, that place is new. It only serves breakfast food and desserts, too, so they'll get some of our business, yes, but we won't lose out during dinner time, and people will lose interest in that place in a few weeks. I mean, most of the draw is because it's a gay place."
"No, most of the draw is because they have the BEST FOOD I've ever eaten for breakfast." Iruka laid his head down on his arms in defeat. "Please never tell Naruto anything good about that place, or he'll spend all the money I give him there."
"Where is Naruto, anyway?" Sakura asked.
Iruka shrugged. "Probably at one of his jobs…I can never keep up with him. He mentioned something on the phone last night like 'If I ever needed to, could I move in with you' and now I'm just waiting for the follow-up call, 'Remember that time that I asked if I could move in with you'…"
"So, what did you tell him?"
"What could I tell him?" Iruka asked in shame. "I've always looked out for him, no matter what kind of trouble he's gotten into…" He sighed. "I guess I should clean up my study for him. He'll have to get his own bed, though."
Sakura smiled. "It'll be nice, though, having company in your house. Maybe he'll come work in the kitchen again, too."
Iruka shrugged. "He DID learn a little Spanish when he came here before, you know…"
"Yeah, the cooks," Sakura said. "I'm glad that Temari's fluent. I know some, but I can't keep up with the cooks."
"Tsunade is going to have a fit when she learns about The Sipper," Iruka said, laying his head down again.
"What can she do?" Sakura asked.
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Tsunade drove in at three in the afternoon wearing a baseball cap, sweater, and shades. It was usually slow at three, so Tsunade didn't suspect anything when she walked into a near-empty Hooters.
Hinata greeted her at the door. "Good afternoon, Tsunade. Do you want to eat before you go back to the office?"
The manager laughed. "Hell, I ain't going back there. I'm going to hang out on table 45, okay?" Without waiting for a response, she brushed past her hostess and sat down in one of the front booths. TenTen popped out from behind the booth and nearly scared her out of her hangover.
Iruka caught the sight of his pseudo-boss as he left the kitchen. He froze for a minute, then decided that Tsunade could learn about The Sipper on her own time, if ever.
"Hey, Iruka!" she called to him. Iruka grimaced and joined Tsunade in her booth. When he was sitting, she smiled. "How's business todaty? Did you do anything fun, or were you a good boy like usual?"
"What do you think?" he asked her humorlessly.
"Good boy," she said. "So, I hear you have the next two days off. What are you going to do with them?"
"Well, my friends volunteered to take me out to get plastered tonight, so I'll probably just do that." He doubted that he could trust either Genma or Raido with being the designated driver but oh well, they could always call up Izumi if they needed to. Or a cab, but those were expensive.
"Sounds like fun," she said. "Sounds like last night for me."
"Well, I wouldn't get drunk the night before I had to come to work," he said with malice underling his words.
Tsunade laughed in his face. "No, you wouldn't, because you're…"
"…a good boy," Iruka finished for her.
"Yup…that's why you don't work nights. Anko has more of the…personality." She tapped the cigarettes in her pocket and considered moving to smoking. When I'm done talking to Boy Scout. "And Shizune gets the dead days, and the days when I can't come in."
Won't. "Well, just three more hours for me," Iruka said. He was tired, even if there hadn't been anything to do all day. He was ready to get away from Hooters for the night.
"Slow, huh?" Tsunade said. Iruka stiffened and nodded.
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It was eight, and Iruka was sitting in the back seat of Genma's car. He was out of his work clothes, and into jeans and a navy polo. And flip flops, Hail Mary! He'd even tied a folded bandana around his forehead, like he'd done back in high school.
Raido played around with the radio. "Hey, Iruka, have you heard the new Busta song?" he asked.
Genma pulled his hand away from the radio. "Stop. Fucking. With that."
"What?" Raido whined. "Can't I find something decent?" As it was, the radio was stuck on a soft rock station.
"I don't care what it is, just find it fast. It messes with my nerves, hearing you change the music every damned minute."
Raido found a Top 40 station and Genma stared at his left hand until it was safely away from the radio.
"So, where are we going?" Iruka asked his high school friends.
"Dance Night," they answered in unison.
"What? A strip club?"
"A GAY strip club," Raido corrected him. "You'll like it, trust me. All the guys there are hot."
"WHAT! No, I am NOT going there!" Iruka shouted in embarrassment.
"Iruka, we're going to Dance Night, it's done, get over it, shut up while I'm driving," Genma ordered.
"Dude, your driving is fucking scary," Raido commented.
"NO!" Iruka shouted again. He leaned forward and said, closer to Genma's face, "I am not going to a place like that! Turn around! I'll go anywhere else, just don't take me there!"
"Iruka!" Genma shouted back. He was about to say something else when he caught Raido's eye. They smiled after a second and Genma took his car off the highway in preparation for a U-turn.
Iruka sat down again and sighed in relief.
Ten minutes later, Iruka found himself walking ever so grudgingly up the front steps of Hooters. He could see Kin, one of the night waitresses, through the door.
"Fuckers," he said under his breath.
Raido laughed at him as he pushed open the door. "Come on, Iruka, you said any place but Dance Night, right? And don't you get a discount here or something?"
Iruka glared at the short-haired man but said nothing. They walked past the front waiting area, which was puzzlingly empty for that time of night, and past a silver-haired cop to the hostess 'podium'.
Anko strode up to them and smirked at Iruka. "You just can't stay away, can you?" she asked.
He frowned in response. "Three for nonsmoking. Can we get Kurenai, by any chance? I don't like most of the night waitresses."
"Kurenai it is," she said, leading them to one of the booths by the front. When their red-eyed waitress approached the table, she smiled at Iruka. "Can't stay away, huh?"
"Yeah," Genma said, putting Iruka into a headlock, "Iruka has put his heart and soul into this place."
"Three beers!" Raido said enthusiastically. Kurenai nodded and walked away.
Once he had freed himself from the headlock, Iruka frowned at his so-called friends. "Why are we here? It's not for the waitresses, is it? I KNOW it's not for the food."
"We're here…to celebrate you," Raido said. "I mean, this place kind of IS your life, isn't it? So we're living it with you. We're living the Hooter's experience!"
Iruka glared at him.
The three men looked up when the silver-haired cop walked up to their table. "It's getting pretty loud over here, isn't it?" he asked in a bored voice.
Genma laughed. "Sorry to disturb the peace, officer…Hatake." he said, reading the cop's badge.
Iruka gave him a confused look. "Did something happen? Who called the cops?"
The cop laughed in response. "Tsunade hired me to work here on the busy nights. Lots of drunks generally don't behave themselves around girls in tight clothes, you see."
He moved to the side so that Kurenai could pass beers around the table. She left them with a smile, without taking their order.
Damn it, Iruka thought. He wanted to leave already.
"Nothing compared to strawberry crepes, is it?" officer Hatake asked him directly as he took a drink of beer.
Iruka looked at him puzzled for a moment before realization set in. "You were at The Sipper earlier today!"
"And so were you," officer Hatake replied. He smiled back at Iruka gently, and Iruka noticed that his right eye was dark brown and his right eye was bright red.
"Dude!" Genma said, pointing at Iruka, "you went to The Sipper!"
"So what?" Iruka asked in an annoyed tone.
Raido laughed at him openly. "They, like, papered the gay district a few weeks ago looking for a waiter! I thought about going there once it opened but it sounded kind of cheesy so, you know…"
"It's good," Iruka admitted. "I hate it, but it's good."
"I'm glad you think so," officer Hatake said with a smile. Iruka gave him a confused look before he walked back to the front of the restaurant.
"You know that guy?" Genma asked him.
Iruka shook his head. "He was there, at The Sipper, when I went there with Temari this morning. He didn't say anything to us, hell, I barely remembered him."
Kurenai came back to take their orders, and as soon as she'd left Iruka felt his phone vibrating in his left jeans pocket, humming the song "Dirty Little Secret".
His friends giggled at his ring tone as he pulled out his phone. "Shut up," Iruka spat, "Naruto said that he wanted me to get that ring tone for him, so I did." With that, he opened his phone.
"Naruto, how are things?"
"Uh…"
Shit.
"Well, Iruka, to be honest I just got kicked out of my apartment. And I got fired today. And, uh, well, I think my car got stolen."
Iruka turned away from his friends and took a few calming breaths.
"Iruka?" he heard Naruto ask on the other end of the line.
"Naruto…where are you?"
"I'm walking to your place. Are you at work right now?"
Sure, just go on in, make yourself at home. "No, I'm out with my so-called friends. I'll be back by two. You still have a key, right?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, well, just…sleep on the couch and dump your things in the study. We'll sort this out tomorrow; I have a few days off."
"Iruka, thanks."
"I know."
"No, really, I mean it. Thank you."
Iruka sighed and hung up his phone before turning around to face Genma and Raido.
Raido cracked a smile. "So, your son's coming back home?"
The dark-skinned man glared. "Don't call him that."
"You're going to get him a job again, aren't you?" Genma asked.
Iruka nodded. I just hope that he'll be able to keep it.
And that was the day that Iruka went across the street.
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