THIEVES IN ATLANTIS
BY TIPPER
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CHAPTER SEVEN: MAKING LITTLE BOYS CRY
Teyla stepped out of the jumper, smiling at Ronon who was leaning against one of the exit doors to the Jumper Bay. He nodded at her as she handed some items to one of the Athosians with her, then headed over to his side.
"Ronon," she smiled, "this is a nice surprise."
The Satedan grunted,lifting his gaze to the people still exiting the jumper, along with the various food stuffs that had been transported in and which the marines were helping off-load. Another group of Athosians and refugees were standing nearby, waiting to be taken back to the Mainland.Ronon took it all in with an air of distraction, and Teyla's eyes narrowed.
"Ronon?" Then her eyebrows lifted, a hint of real worry touching her face, "Is Doctor McKay all right? I heard of the accident, but was told that, though painful, he would be fine..."
A smile quirked on Ronon's face as he shook his head. "You missed some pretty impressive whining. I don't know how Sheppard can stand to sit with him as much as he does."
Teylaquirked an amused eyebrow, a knowing look on her face. "Well, I admit...I did not argue very hard when the Colonel told me not to come back early."
Ronon nodded again. "How was the Mainland?" he asked.
"It was pleasant," Teyla replied, following his gaze to where Jumper One still sat open off to the side, ready for McKay to return to fiddling with it again, then looked back up at him. "It is always nice to get over there for a few days, see my old friends. I should go more often." Her eyes narrowed slightly, as she realized he wasn't really listening. "Ronon…what's the matter?"
He frowned, glancing down at her. Instead of answering, he asked another question.
"Has a place been set up for Neera and the children?"
She nodded, still studying him appraisingly. "I think they will like it. It is spare, but serviceable. There is already talk about trying to find a way to bring some of the unused kitchen equipment to the Mainland, so that she can continue her art. Not before they move there, of course, but soon. I know Doctor Kusanagi was looking into setting up a more efficient electricity system to…." She stopped, tilted her head, then took his arm. Somewhere in the middle of her sentence, he had drifted off again.
"All right, enough," she stated seriously. "What is it?"
"Something's wrong," he said.
"With?"
"Those people."
She frowned, turning to look at the people in the jumper bay. "What is wrong with them?"
"Not those people," he corrected gruffly. "With Neera and…her three children."
"I do not understand," she said, frowning slightly. "I know I have been away, but all the reports have said that they were settling in—"
"I tried following the oldest boy, Garron, one day…and he gave me the slip."
She frowned more deeply, "The slip? You mean, you lost him?"
"I mean," Ronon said, finally looking at her directly, "that he intentionally got away from me."
She lifted her eyebrows, "Well, perhaps he did not wish to be followed."
"Teyla," he said, staring at her hard.
"Yes?"
"Think about who you are talking to."
She arched an eyebrow, but…then it dawned on her what he meant. Ronon was a phenomenally good tracker, and he had the benefit of knowing this City now very well. For Garron to have gotten away from him…
"It could not have been luck?" she asked, her voice soft.
"Unlikely."
"But," she held up a finger, "it is possible."
He shook his head, "It's not just that." He shrugged, glancing around the bay again, then up at something in one of the overhead docks, as if at something in particular. "I'm pretty sure the little girl…I saw something in her expression one day…it may have been a trick of the light, but I saw her looking at Sheppard as he chatted with Beckett in the infirmary…and there was hatred on her face."
"Hatred," Teyla repeated, frowning. "But…she is, what, eight?"
"I know what I saw."
She gave a small smile, "Are you certain it wasn't jealousy? Lieutenant Cadman flew out one of the groups this week, and she confided in me that she thought Freya was getting a little too attached to Doctor Beckett. She said she even caught a few dark stares sent her way as well."
Ronon frowned, "But why would Freya be jealous because of Sheppard?"
"Probably she is jealous of anyone taking up Carson's time when she is with him." She reached up, resting a hand on his arm. "Ronon, I understand that you are…not comfortable with the number of refugees we bring in. You have voiced your dislike of how soft-hearted the Atlantians are on a number of occasions. So…perhaps you are reading too deeply?"
His expression went from dark to angry, and he shook his arm free. "I expected you to listen to me," he stated gruffly. Teyla's eyes widened in surprise.
"I did," she countered, "I simply do not agree."
"How can you know?" he demanded roughly. "You haven't been here."
"I just…Ronon, if you expect me to start scrutinizing the actions of children, you are going to have to give me more to go on. Nothing I have heard here, or from others, suggests that they are anything but exactly what they seem."
The Satedan stared at her a moment longer, then turned on his heel and left. The abrupt dismissal made Teyla frown, but she didn't stop him. Looking down at the floor, then back at the crowded bay, she wondered if she should have taken him more seriously.
Grimacing, she shook her head and walked back to help with the unloading.
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Sitting above them, precariously balanced between two of the platforms holding up the jumpers on the upper levels of the bay, Garron watched Ronon leave Teyla behind and head out. He hadn't been able to hear the conversation, but, for a moment, he thought he had caught Ronon's eyes on him. Sure, he was hidden up here, but that Satedan was smart.
And he knew Ronon didn't trust him.
His eyes narrowed.
The problem was...he found himself wanting, almost desperately, to somehow earn the man's respect. He couldn't do that if Ronon was dead.
Which, again...was a problem.
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Neera's cooking only seemed to grow in perfection as the week progressed, as if she were putting everything she could into every meal. Soon everyone, even the ones who "only ate at their desks" and the ones who were "watching their diet" were regularly coming to the mess hall, filling it to the brim. Seats were getting hard to come by, even for the injured.
About five days after the "incident" with Jumper Three, McKay, walking stiffly and wearing a scowl that made even Ronon feel a bit nervous about approaching him, walked into the mess hall for dinner and stood over a table until the two scientists sitting there nervously left. Sliding gingerly into a seat, he made sure his back was to the wall and watched the food line.
Ren came out, carrying two trays, smiling brightly. Sheppard was on his heels, grinning and carrying his own tray. McKay slumped at the sight of the boy, then emitted a soft "ouch" and sat up straight again. He was still grimacing painfully when Ren and Sheppard sat down.
"Look who I found!" Sheppard said happily, slapping Ren on the back a bit. The boy just grinned wide and slipped one of the trays towards McKay, who took it begrudgingly.
"Can't believe you made him carry my tray," McKay muttered, glaring at Sheppard. "Boy's injured."
"He insisted," Sheppard said, shrugging. "Besides, his arms are almost healed. No worse than sitting out in the sun too long."
"Uh huh."
"Plus, he's tough," Sheppard arched an eyebrow at Rodney, "Unlike some astrophysicists I know."
"Hey, second degree burns here! Pain meds! Infirmary stay!"
"Yeah, sure," Sheppard shrugged, "whatever, McKay. We all know you're just a big baby, don't we, Ren?" The boy just smiled as Sheppard patted his shoulder, the colonel's eyes bright with amusement.
In return, McKay just sneered and stuck his tongue out, causing Sheppard to laugh.
Ren, meanwhile, suddenly reached over with his knife and fork and speared the steak on McKay's plate, causing McKay to jump a little as the metal hit the tray with a twang.
"Hey!" McKay held out a hand at the boy, not hiding his shock, "What are you doing? That's mine!"
"I know it's yours," Ren smiled as he started to cut it up. "I'm not going to take it. I figured it might hurt your back to saw at the meat, so I'm cutting it for you."
McKay stared at him with wide eyes, then look at the colonel. Sheppard was no help, happily chewing away on his own meal.
"Look," McKay said, then grabbed Ren's right hand, "Look! Stop! You don't have to cut my meat for me!"
"Yes, I do," Ren said, shaking McKay's hand off and returning to his cutting.
"No," McKay grabbed the boy's hand more forcefully this time and lifted it up, "You really don't." He spoke tensely, pushing Ren's hands back roughly. "Leave it alone."
Ren stared at the half cut meat, then up at McKay. "You're hurt. You shouldn't be..."
"I'm fine!" McKay said, and he proceeded to cut at his own steak, but couldn't hide the slight wince as he pulled his back muscles.
"See?" Ren reached over and started cutting again. "Let me do it. It's the least I can—"
"REN!" McKay snapped, shoving the boy's hands again, "Stop it! Now! I don't need your help!"
Ren jumped at the shout and stared at him with brilliantly wide eyes.
Then, suddenly, he burst into tears.
Before McKay had a chance to say anything else, the boy was up out of his chair and running out of the mess.
No one was more shocked than McKay. He turned a bewildered stare on the Colonel, then down at his tray, then towards where Ren had gone.
"What...?" McKay's eyes looked around at the other eyes at the table (and neighboring ones) who were all staring at him darkly. "What'd I do?"
Sheppard was grimacing in sympathy. "I think you made a little boy cry," he offered honestly.
"Oh God, I did, didn't I?" McKay looked back at the colonel. "What, suddenly he's sensitive?"
Sheppard just shrugged, and McKay sighed heavily, looking again towards the doors
"Crap." He grimaced, glancing at Sheppard again, "Should I, uh...you know..." he gestured towards the doors.
"Yeah," Sheppard said, shrugging again, "probably."
"Hell. Why me?" McKay slumped, winced again in pain and straightened his shoulders again. "Aw, damn it. I don't wanna go. Can't you...?"
"No."
"I didn't think so. Damn it." His fingers twitched where they were hovering over his tray. "But I'm hurt!"
The colonel gave him a dark smile. "Big baby," he needled softly.
Rodney glared at his alleged best friend and stood up, "Fine." He stared at the food for a moment, then shoved it towards Sheppard. "Save that for me."
Sheppard grinned, taking the tray as McKay slid out of the table and started to walk away. "I'll give it to Ronon," he called after the scientist.
"Don't you dare!" McKay said, turning his torso to stare back at Sheppard and flinching as it pulled on his back. "Ouch! Damn it!"
"Made you look!" Sheppard grinned.
"You're such a cretin!" McKay strode swiftly away, his shoulders straight once more.
"What's a cretin, again? A handsome, roguish colonel? Because that'd be about right!"
"Keep trying, Colonel! Just don't give it to Ronon!"
Sheppard just smiled, and dumped McKay's food onto his tray as the man disappeared out the far doors. After a moment, he added Ren's then stood up and carried the laden tray out of the mess...heading slowly towards Zelenka's lab. Someone there was bound to be hungry...
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McKay found Ren pretty easily—he was in the Jumper Bay, sitting inside the jumper he and Zelenka had been working on before the accident. He was curled up on the bench on the right hand side, crying softly into his knees. The bay itself was dark—the lights set for nighttime.
The scientist had turned around twice on his way towards the jumper, then turned around again and forced himself forward. Being afraid of talking to a child was just absurd...But, come on, he was no good with kids! And, frankly, didn't want to be. So, why the hell had this one attached himself to him?
Part of him argued that he should turn around now, head far, far away. After all, his problem was solved! Surely, Ren would leave him alone now...and yet...
He was also well aware that the boy wasn't suddenly crying because Rodney had yelled at him. He was crying because of something else.
And Rodney had a good idea what it was. He felt the same pain himself every time someone got hurt because of something he did—and still remembered the overwhelming guilt the first time it had happened. For that reason, he also knew that, unfortunately, he was the only one who could probably talk to Ren right now to make it better.
Crap.
He stood on the edge of the back hatch of the open jumper, sighed heavily, then walked up inside and sat down on the bench opposite Ren.
"Stop crying," he ordered, the tone tired.
Amazingly, it worked. Ren looked up, face red and puffy, eyes still streaming.
"What do you want?" the boy demanded petulantly
"To talk you out of...giving up," Rodney replied, shifting a little in the seat to alleviate some of the needlelike pains in his upper back.
Ren's brow furrowed, confused. "Giving up?"
McKay made a face, then sighed, leaning forward to rest his arms on his knees.
"Look, let's face it, you're upset because you nearly got me and you killed, right? Because your curiosity nearly blew up in your face...literally..." He tilted his head slightly, allowing some of the white bandage under his light cotton shirt to peek out. "So...I'm here to say that you'd be an idiot if you let something like what happened stop you from doing...," he waved a hand around, "what you've been doing."
Ren was staring at him with wide eyes, a touch of disbelief in them.
"You...you think I'm crying because...because I'm scared of causing another accident?"
Rodney stared guilelessly at the boy's brown eyes, brow furrowed slightly. "Aren't you?"
Ren just stared at him for a long time, then, slowly, nodded. "Kinda."
"Kinda?" Rodney repeated, eyebrows lifting slightly.
"I...I'm afraid that..." Ren bit his lip, and looked outside the jumper at the bay. After a moment, he got up and moved to sit right next to Rodney. The scientist did his best not to slide away as the boy pressed up against the side of his arm then leaned against it. "I'm afraid," Ren said again, very softly, "of hurting someone again...because of something I do."
Rodney stared at him a moment, then, because his arm was also slightly burnt and it was too hot to have the boy leaning against it (at least, that's what he told himself), pulled the arm free and rested it gently around Ren's thin shoulders. A second later, he lifted it away, because it felt stupid, but by then, Ren was sort of resting against his chest.
"I see," he said, speaking softly to the top of the boy's head. "Thing is, Ren...we're all afraid of that." He paused a moment, then took a deep breath and plunged on. "Did Radek tell you about Doranda?" At Ren's shake of his head, Rodney gave a rueful smile and looked up away from the boy, out the back of the jumper.
"Doranda...is where I made my worst mistake. I did something on that planet which I regret. Really, really regret. I pursued something that nearly got Colonel Sheppard killed, because I refused to temper my pride." He frowned, still staring out at the darkened bay. "And it took me a while to...face what I'd done, but...fact is, mistakes happen. We all make them. Some of us not as often as others..." he gave a tiny smile, then let it fade, "but if we didn't try and fail...we'd never learn. We'd still be living in caves, too afraid to come out, too afraid of our own ideas to even think. And things would never change."
Ren sat there for a moment, his head resting against the top of McKay's chest. Then, quietly, he asked, "But...would things never changing...be so terrible?"
McKay stiffened, and forced himself to breathe out his first reaction to that statement...which was to get angry. Instead, he pushed Ren away and stood up, walking to the other side of the Jumper and turning to face the boy. Resting his hands on his hips, he stared down into the still reddened eyes and shook his head.
"I'm going to forgive you for that statement," he said quietly, his tone very even, "because you...were crying...but I don't want to ever hear it again, you understand? I never, ever what to hear you think it's better to hide than to use your brain! Everything changes, Ren, and we have to keep up with it. That's what keeps us alive!"
Ren's brow furrowed, "But..."
"No! No, you listen to me, Ren...whatever-your-last-name-is..."
"Lorrel."
"...Ren Lorrel, because I'm only going to say this once!" He stuck a finger out at the boy, causing Ren to flinch back a little, "If you learn nothing else from me, remember this...that it's better to cause accidents than be too scared to learn about something, or to make something better, or to create something, or to change how we see the world. It's worth the risk! Always. You just have to learn to find ways to lessen that risk. Next time you want to see a malfunctioning engine pod up close, announce your presence to the people working on it! And voila," Rodney threw his hands out wide, "risk reduced!"
"Voila? What's—"
"Are you listening to me, or not?"
Ren nodded quickly, "Yes, sir."
"Ugh," Rodney winced, "don't call me sir. You sound like a marine. Just call me Doctor McKay." He took in a quick breath, blinked for a moment, then frowned. He'd lost his train of thought. "Okay...what was I saying?"
"That, uh," Ren frowned, "that I should cause more accidents?"
Rodney's eyes widened, then rolled, "Oh for...No! No," he lifted his hands up, "I don't want you to cause more accidents! No, I'm telling you to...to..." He bounced a second, then started again, eyes focused on the boy. "Okay, here's what I'm saying. When you have an idea, don't be afraid to implement it because you're afraid to cause an accident, just remember to consider all the variables of the situation first. Which is what you've been watching me do all week. Why do you think I constantly swap around equations, run simulations, adjust things...Because I'm not just trying to make something work, I'm trying to make it work effectively, with the least amount of risk. It's..." he looked around, and then pointed at the cockpit, "it's just like your belts and anti-gravity idea. We want to increase power to the shield—that's the goal. That's the change we want to make, the endgame we wish to win. And it's an easy one to achieve. There are a hundred different things that could be done. But, most of them create too much risk for the pilot and his team. So, you come up with ways to lessen the risk to them."
Ren glanced at the cockpit, then back at McKay. "My belt and anti-gravity idea? You thought it was good?"
"What? No, Ren, you're missing my point! My point is that, every time we make a mistake here, or something happens that forces us to rethink how we do something—whether it be an accident, or something worse—we try to fix it. We don't just give up. We...we...what are you doing? Sit down!"
But Ren wasn't listening. He was on his feet, smiling, walking towards the cockpit and back again. At McKay's frustrated order for him to sit down, his smile just grew bigger.
"So my idea was good?" Ren pressed again.
"Ren, will you focus? Yes, it was good! We'll probably try to implement it. But that's not the point I'm trying to...oh, stop smiling! I didn't say that to make you smile!"
But Ren couldn't help it, he was grinning like a fool.
McKay grimaced, "Ugh. Please...stop that. Every time you smile, I feel ill."
"Sorry." Ren looked chagrined. McKay winced even more.
"Oh, that's even worse. I hate that word. Instead of apologizing, just make it up to me, okay?"
"How?"
"Promise me...that no matter what mistakes you make, that you'll spend your life trying to fix them, not hiding from them. And that you'll never stop learning."
Ren's brow furrowed.
"Promise me!" McKay said, more forcefully.
"Okay!" Ren said quickly. "I promise."
"Good," McKay said, then, more softly. "Good. Because," he shrugged, "it'd be waste otherwise."
"A waste?"
McKay's jaw tensed, then he nodded. "Don't let it go to your head but," he swallowed, his voice growing very soft, almost inaudible, "you're not a complete idiot, Ren. You've got...talent. More so than a lot of people here. You could go far. If you...really want to."
Ren's eyes grew wide.
McKay backed away and looked down at the floor. "Anyway...that's all I wanted to say." Turning abruptly, he started to walk out of the jumper, still feeling a bit queasy from the whole conversation. Talking to kids just...so wasn't him.
"Wait!" Ren called, "Doctor McKay!"
Rodney paused at the foot of the ramp, then, slowly, turned all the way around. "Yeah?"
"You gonna be in your lab at seven tomorrow morning? It's my last day on Atlantis, you know."
McKay stared at him a moment, then, with a soft sigh, gave a single nod before turning around again to walk away.
He didn't need to see the huge grin on Ren's face. He could feel it from where he was standing, burning through him like the energy of a hundred engine pods.
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TBC...
P.S. All you guys are awesome! Thank you so much! And, don't worry, the four refugees are about to make their "last day" on Atlantis...memorable.