A/N: Sorry to confuse some of you with the last chapter, but I felt like this needed a little bit of bizarre seriousness as well. When I write I like to twist and turn things. Sometimes it's predictable and sometimes it's not (at least I hope it's not :P). I love all of the speculations you guys are sharing with me in your reviews :) Keep 'em coming, it's always fun to read about your ideas. It made me think about how cool it'd be to co-write something with you all. Like 7 (!) of us all throwing in ideas…. that would be one hell of a fanfic. :P
Disclaimer: I still don't own NCIS or the characters in this fic. Neither do I own the small pieces of lyrics used in this chapter (Follow Me Home – Sugababes). It's just an amazing song and I can feel this story almost screaming at me when I listen to it. If you have the chance, listen to it. It really is an excellent song and the video for it… well it's great. Anyways you don't have to know it to appreciate it in this story though.
Trough Troubled Nights Chapter 3: The Act Of a Fool
Never before had the light morning rays of the sun felt so cold and hostile on her face. Never before had she so strongly felt the urge to be in total control. Never before had she felt the walls closing in on her the way they did now.
Kate felt the events of last night threaten to come back to her but she pushed the memories away. She refused to see and feel it all again. She took great pride in what she had accomplished in life, in the way she always listened to herself and never let anyone else put her down. Being guided through Mitchell's living room, a hand on the small of her back, in to the kitchen reminded her of the fact that she now had lost that. She was not in control.
"Sit" Mitchell ordered placing a glass of orange juice on the table in front of her. She did what she was told, her whole body protesting and aching with the act. She wasn't sure if it was her stubborn mind that was behind that though… more like her bruised body, or maybe a bit of both. Mitchell had her swallow two painkillers telling her they would make her forget about last nights 'accident'… or at least take away the constant reminder in the form of pain shooting up her side.
As she stood in front of the mirror in his hallway, looking herself up and down she was almost shocked to see herself staring back at her. She felt like her spirit was lost and had somehow expected to find her body lost as well. But there she was, dressed in the same black dress she had worn to their date last night. It was dry now, but there was no doubt that anyone could still see that it was what she had worn the night before and that it had been through quite a lot. Trying to soothe the crumples of the skirt with her hands Kate thought she could hear the dress whisper to her…
.:Sometimes life it drags you down
And plays you like a fool
Makes you feel so empty sometimes
It can be so cruel…:.
She reached up and touched her face and watched her reflection mirror the action. Did she look like the same Kate? She wondered. Would anyone be able to see that she was broken inside?
Moving across the floor was still painful and she felt light-headed as she took shaky steps across the room. The walls still felt like they were closing in on her, swaying dangerously. As she tilted her head, she wasn't sure whether it was her head that shifted or the floor.
At that moment she didn't know what was worse, the fact that she didn't know where she had herself or that she didn't know what Mitchell had in mind for her.
He watched her steady herself against the wall and take deep breaths to clear her head. He took a step towards her, and reached out to place a hand on her arm. She looked at him as if she thought he'd kill her. He could practically see her mind working, trying to do what she does at work. Trying to analyse the situation, decide on a course of action, and follow through. Follow through had once meant taking a bullet for the president or even taking a bullet for Tony, her partner, but now when it had nothing to do with bullets or protecting anyone but herself she seemed a bit lost and confused. Mitchell grinned at her. Oh yes, he was enjoying this. I can't believe she tried to decide if this was over or not! He thought as he searched for her eyes.
"We don't want that team of yours to miss you at work, do we."
She looked him straight in the eye but still seemed to see right through him. Was she dreaming? Is he actually just going to let me go to work? Just let me leave like that? Kate knew it was all too simple…
"Just give those pain killers some more time to work and you'll see you'll be fit to work today. Meanwhile," he let go of her arm and she took a step forward almost falling as she felt her world tilt. "I think you better not drive, darling."
She fought the urge to laugh out loud right there and then. Just laugh him straight in the face… or maybe laugh at herself and the situation she'd managed to put herself in.
I'm dreaming this, right? She thought as she found herself being driven to work by Mitchell, the guy she'd broken up with last night. Did I really break up with him?
She did actually remember dinner as they drove through DC. She quite specifically remembered how she'd told him that they shouldn't see each other anymore. So I did break up with him! She thought, a small feeling of triumph in her heart… the feeling dissolved pretty quickly… Could have fooled me… she thought as she glanced at the man driving the car. She sighed and tried to ignore her now throbbing head.
As he dropped her off a couple of blocks from the NCIS building he handed her the Polaroid of her sister and her little niece.
"Just a little reminder of what could get stuck in the middle if this thing between you and me becomes… ugly" he smiled.
The picture felt like ice in her hand and she nodded. Give him what he wants…Give him everything he wants, make sure no one gets caught up in this, and deal with everything later, she told herself as she walked to the office. If Gibbs hadn't been Gibbs she could have called in sick and returned home, or even go home, change and the come in a bit late… But Gibbs happened to be Gibbs and she would never get away with it without being questioned about it. She just couldn't take that right now and besides, she didn't really feel like sitting at home in her apartment all day. Stuck with only herself, the bruises and her memories of failing to stay in control.
OoOoOoooOOoooOOOooOOOoOOoOoOOoOOoooOOoooO
"Hurry up!" Abby scanned the desk area for Kate, Tony or even worse Gibbs.
"I am working as quickly as I can Abby!" McGee sighed.
"My grandmother could pick a lock quicker than that McGeek" she said giving up on the whole stakeout thing and crouching beside him on the floor.
"Remind me, why are we doing this again?" Tim asked frustrated with the lock on Tony's desk drawer.
"'Cause he has those little chocolate things in there and I want them…" Abby sighed as if it was obvious and considering the fact that she had told him about the simple plan like 10 times, it was pretty obvious.
"I could buy you some of your own, you know…" Muttered McGee still trying to open the drawer.
"Move over Tim," Abby grinned. She pushed McGee away and started to work on the lock herself. "How cool would it be to just get 'em from the store? No, actually breaking in and getting them from an Italian guy that could easily have been a member of the mafia, now that's cool!"
McGee frowned. "Tony's not in the mafia!"
"Let's pretend he is," Abby winked at him, "like when we pretended you were a vampire last night Timmy"
With that she finally got the drawer open and Tim blushed.
"Abby…"
"And what a vampire we made out of you…" she continued, searching the now open drawer for the remaining chocolates from the previous day. "honestly, I wasn't sure you had it in ya but when you finally caught on and you got over that whole "am I not hurting you now?" thing-"
"Abby…!"
"Aha! Found them!" she took the bag from the drawer and looked up at McGee. He gestured for her to stand up with wild hand movements, throwing his hands here and there. She shook her head and was just about to tell him that they needed a cooler sign for when someone was coming when she heard the "ding" of the elevator as the doors opened. McGee's eyes widened and Abby shot up from behind the desk, knocking over a cup of pens on her way. The pens scattering to the ground startled Tim and he swayed as a giggling Abby bumped in to him as well on her way up. McGee had to grab the nearest thing as he though he was about to fall and that thing happened to be the Goth who stood giggling, in front of him. She yelped as she found herself supporting the weight of a McGee without balance. In a matter of half a second both Abby and McGee found themselves on the floor behind Tony's desk again, this time in some sort of a pile.
Kate walked into the office with her head filled with that fog again. The little circus thing McGee and Abby had going behind Tony's desk seemed to be a thousand miles away and she only caught it in the corner of her eye as she made it over to her desk. She wanted to change out of the used dress and was happy she kept clothes in her desk. She was also happy that the only two in the office seemed to be Abby and McGee who was now trying to untangle themselves from each other.
She gathered fresh clothes in her arms and bit her lip not to wince with pain as she hurried to the bathroom to change.
Abby couldn't stop laughing at the floor but was surprised to find Kate gone when she peeked her head over the edge of the desk, her ponytails all rumpled.
"Where'd she go?" Abby asked, lightly tapping McGee's butt, which was the part of him that was nearest.
He got up from the floor with a groan and turned so that he too, was poking his head above the edge of the desk. He looked around the room. "I don't know…" He was sure she'd been there when Abby and him came crashing down together. They looked at each other and shrugged.
The elevator opened up again and Gibbs and Tony walked out. Tony's eyes widened and he hurried towards his desk. "Probie… what do you think you're up to at my desk!"
Abby sprung from her knees on the floor to her feet with an excited "Iiiih" and with Maltesers in hand, ran for the elevator.
Tony looked from McGee still on the floor behind his desk to Abby running across the room with his chocolates in hand. He decided that probie could wait and darted after Abby.
"Abbs you little devil… come back here!"
She poked her tongue out at him in true Kate style as the doors of the elevator closed just in front of his nose. He ran towards the stairs and crashed down taking three steps at a time.
Gibbs took a big zip of his coffee and sighed as he heard Tony all the way down the stairs; "Aaaaaabby!" They were just playing around with each other but it was a very serious game.
Gibbs felt his cup getting lighter. I should start buying two of these at a time, he thought and sat down at his desk. He shifted his gaze towards McGee that was still sitting on his knees behind Tony's desk, chin resting on the top of the desk.
Gibbs tilted his head, slightly. "Are you planning on sitting there all day, midget-boy?"
"Boss… I… erm… eh… Abby was-"
"Get your ass back to your own desk McGee!" Gibbs barked just as his phone rang.
McGee scrambled to his desk as Kate came back, changed, from the bathroom. She made her way over to her desk, careful not to look to unsteady in front of Gibbs. She could still feel that pain in her side but was determined to hide it as long as she possibly could.
The elevator doors opened again and revealed a frustrated Tony. "How can she hide in that little lab?"
Abby sneaked up the last steps of the stairs and grinned at McGee, throwing a piece of Tony's chocolates in her mouth. "Tonight McGee, I'll be the vampire and you can be the damsel in distress" She called to him.
McGee did his best to hide behind his computer, blushing a deep red. Kate rested her forehead in her hand, her head starting to spin with all of the teasing and running around going on around her and Tony's eyes widened again as he heard Abby's voice. He threw himself out of the elevator just as Abby with a squeal dashed down the stairs again.
Gibbs ended his call. "I'm running a day-care here" he muttered under his breath as he wrote down an address. He cleared his throat and spoke without lifting his eyes from the file in front of him.
"Kate, I'm heading upstairs. I want Tony and you to work on those files you were supposed to go through yesterday while I'm gone." The annoyance was clear in his voice and Kate just nodded. She did not have the energy to fetch Tony from the lab… she'd just have to start without him.
Gibbs ordered McGee to fix his cell phone that he'd "accidentally" thrown in the wall after receiving a txt message. McGee looked at him, confused.
"Apparently the message came with a very annoying high pitch noise!" Gibbs explained as he started to climb the stairs.
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Tony balanced one of Gibbs' coffee mugs on his head.
"Kate! Look Kate!" He even managed to balance it, standing, on one foot. He tried his other foot.
"Kate, check this out!" He desperately wanted her attention.
"Tony I'm busy" she answered, not even lifting her eyes from her work.
"But Kate you have to see this! It's taken me…" He checked his watch, coffee mug still on his head. ", exactly 2 minutes and 24 seconds to learn how to do this!" he recalled excitedly.
"Tony I'm working here. I don't have the time. Told you I was busy." She still didn't look at him and was determined not to give him any attention today and made sure by her tone of voice that he knew that. She wanted to check up on Mitchell in their database but Gibbs was not going to be out of the office all day and he wanted them to go through those files before he came back… She needed to do her part of the work so that she could find out what she wanted about Mitchell after that.
Tony pouted, looking, and feeling like an abandoned puppy. Now she was just being mean. She always gave him attention. She was always there when he wanted to throw paper clips at someone or brag about his blond bimbos. But not today… She was like this yesterday as well, he thought as he scrunched up his face to keep the pen under his nose to stay there.
Balancing the coffee cup on his head and keeping a pen stuck between his nose and upper lip had seemed like a challenge at first but it turned out to be pretty easy… for a pro, for someone with natural talent, he grinned at himself letting the pen fall to the floor. Oh yeah… I bet it'd take Probie months to learn how to do all of this at once. He picked the pen up from the floor and did it all over again… cup on his head and pen under his nose.
Just like Kate had predicted Gibbs soon came back. With a fresh cup of coffee in hand he looked a little bit less annoyed but something still seemed to bother him.
"Three years ago we handled a case with a dead marine found in Rock Creek Park. One of the gardeners working in the park came forward that time and the case was solved because of his testimony." Gibbs handed out copies of the file. "The thing is, now, the same gardener wants to change his story. He's no longer sure he saw what he then claimed he saw. I think he's been spooked into this and I need you to go see him," He looked at Tony, who practically bounced up and down with excitement, and then at Kate. ", and find out if there's any truth to this or if someone's telling him to change his mind."
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Kate wasn't sure if she was happy or not to be out of the office, as she sat in the car with Tony. She didn't have to think about it for long though because as soon as Tony started to sing along with the song played on the radio she decided that she was not happy to be out of the office.
The air seemed a bit stuffy in the car and the warming sun did not ease the fog in her head. It was as if someone had placed a greyish blanket over the entire world… everything was damp and corny to her. Her ribs protested as she moved and she thought the painkillers might be wearing off. I need to take a couple of new ones once we get back, she thought, regretting that she didn't take any with her.
Tony glanced at her and thought that she must be coming down with something. She doesn't look too good, he thought, she looks a bit pale. I can't say something, can I? She'll bite my head off… he decided.
We all know that Tony has a bit of a problem with authority, and that includes listening to himself.
"Kate, you-"
.:Baby all I'm trying to say
Is that my heart is here to hold you
I'm never far away:.
"No, Tony. Be quiet, just shut up" she snapped, looking out her window, trying to forget about the pain in her side and her throbbing head.
Just like that… Tony thought. Well… I'll be quiet now… I will… Wow being quiet is hard!
.:Take my hand so I can feel you
I've searched and I have found
I'll never let you down
We will always stand on solid ground:.
A few seconds passed and Tony suddenly had a look of panic on his face. What if I can't talk anymore? What if I've been quiet for so long that I've forgotten how to speak? He considered life as a mute for a second or two before letting out a "Bedroom". He grinned at himself. I still know how to do it!
Kate finally glanced his way, a look on her face that indicated that she now was sure he'd lost his mind completely.
"Bedroom?" She questioned, sceptically.
He grinned at her, relived that she'd finally paid him some attention and happy that she'd just said something… anything at all. The all quiet, snapping, Kate had started to make him uncomfortable, a feeling that Tony wasn't all that familiar with.
"I wanted to see if I still had the ability to speak and 'bedroom' was the first word that came into my mind"
"Of course it was…" Kate muttered, once again looking through the window, trying to ignore Tony.
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The second they'd stepped out of the car Kate had known that the rising heat would cause her problems. The sun seemed to be burning her and she had to take a deep breath to calm herself after struggling out of the car, trying not to move too much. I definitely need more of those painkillers, she thought as she watched Tony stride into the park, and we need one of those treadmill things for Ginny pigs in Tony-size at work…
They met up with Nat the Gardener just as they entered the park.
"Agent DiNozzo, Todd, NCIS" Tony flashed his badge at the man.
"I've been expecting you" the man said and turned around, returning into the park. Tony followed and stepped up next to him.
"So…" Tony took out his pad and a pen, to take notes. ", you think you have new information concerning this case?"
Kate tried to clear her throat, feeling a bit short of breath. It didn't work and she gasped for air. She slowed down her already slow pace and fell quite a bit behind the two men.
They walked around a small house built out of bricks where she figured the gardeners stored their tools or something. Her knees felt like jelly all of a sudden and she felt the panic rise in her together with the pain exploding in her side.
"T-Tony…" she tried, her voice shaking slightly with pain. She supported herself against the brick wall.
She was passed by a jogger and a mother with a stroller who looked at her wondering, before disappearing around the corner.
"Not now Kate, I'm busy" Tony didn't turn her way, using Kate's own words from earlier.
Two can play this game, thought Tony as he continued his walk, his back towards Kate, along the path together with Nat the Gardener.
"…and this man, he's not the same man you first thought it was?" he asked.
"T-Tony…!" Her voice was faint, and the wall behind her back was now all that kept her standing.
Tony stopped and sighed, still not turning around. "I'm working here!" he repeated what she'd told him earlier.
I'm going to kill him for pulling this crap this when this is all over, Kate thought, her head spinning. She could hardly see him in front of her anymore as she fought the urge to scream out loud. She figured she didn't have the energy to actually fill her lungs with enough air anyways and she tried once more to get Tony to turn around.
.:Sometimes life it drags you down
And plays you like a fool
Makes you feel so empty sometimes
It can be so cruel:.
"Please…" darkness consumed her as the pain and her spinning head took over. The ground came up to meet her as she slumped down with a weak cry.
Nat stood opposite Tony, facing Kate. His eyes grew wide as the female agent fell to the ground with a thud, catching his attention. He pointed towards her.
"Y-your.. p-partner…"
Tony frowned, confused and turned around.
.:So follow me home
You'll never be lost
We'll weather the storm
Whatever the cost
I won't walk away
I'll stand by your side
I'm here for you
The rest of our lives:.
"What the…" he muttered, running back towards her. "Kate?" he called. She didn't move and Tony felt as if he was running in slow motion. They we're only a couple of meters apart; to Tony it felt like mile after mile.
"KATE!"
"I'll never let you down" echoed in his head as he threw himself on his knees next to her on the ground.
"KATE!" He screamed at her even though her face now was inches from his.
.:I'll never let you down…
I won't walk away
I'll stand by your side
I'm here for you
The rest of our lives:.
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Tony, Tony, Tony… look at what you have done…
And as for the title of this chapter, The Act Of a Fool… well… you decide who's the fool :P
If you're interested in actually listening to Sugababes' Follow Me Home you can do it at YouTube but like I said earlier, I don't think you need to know the song to appreciate the lyrics in this chapter.
I reintroduced the Maltesers :) , great, huh? You can never get too much chocolate, if you ask me, and that goes for every occasion and situation and all of my EF-leaders (you know EF, they send young people on language courses..?) agree.
A tiny, tiny bit of McAbby in there if you squint :P Working on that.
I hope you liked this chapter. It was fun to write, actually. Haha and I thought I should mention that we get NCIS five times a week in Sweden these days (it used to be only four times a week) . I feel spoiled.
Thanks for reading, as usual, feel free to let me know anything and everything in a review.
/Malin