The Lie
"I know I'm not family. The truth is I care about all of you very much."
"I know.."
"Especially you...The night I kissed you...I know it was your birthday and all but...I meant it."
"I know...and it was the nicest gift that I got...but that's all it has to be - a birthday gift."
"If things were different; we weren't so different...I'm just not ready yet."
"Neither am I, Sully. I care about you too, very much."
People slowly started to walk away over the bridge, back towards town. The picture was taken and the strange exhilaration that was left in everyone needed to be brought out. Some were moving to Grace's café others were going home to celebrate.
"Dr. Mike can we go to Grace's?" Colleen asked when they had crossed the bridged. Mike hesitated a moment, but seeing the joy in their faces she agreed.
"Sure." Her mind was reeling. Why had Sully been standing next to her and the kids in the picture? Hadn't he said he wasn't family?
"What you're thinking?" He asked when he noticed her staring at him from under her eye lashes.
"Nothing." She lied slightly blushing at being caught. She dropped her eyes to the ground as they were slowly following Colleen and Brian.
The celebration was a happy one thanks to the fact that finally everyone had been allowed to be in the picture. Michaela watched her family and friends laugh and talk, but somehow she didn't have anything to say. Her thoughts were wandering elsewhere and she couldn't help herself from casting a glance at Sully every few moments. Was it some kind of commitment, though he had said he wasn't ready?
Sully caught her watching him a couple of times and wondered what she was thinking. Had it been right to stand next to her in the picture? He thought he had seen hope in her eyes when she said she cared about him too. He thought she had been silently begging for him to say he was ready that he had lied. But though he wasn't sure about it, he wanted to let her know that he would be ready some day. He was nervous and strangely exhilarated. The picture itself didn't mean much to him. But people in the future would see them standing together and think they were a couple. Was he really not ready? Had he not lied to her?
"Excuse me." Her voice let him snap out of his thoughts and back into reality. When he glanced at her he saw her standing up and walking over to the clinic. Fear gripped his heart. Had he been wrong?
He hesitated a moment but when he saw that no one seemed to think anything of her leaving he stood up as well and followed her, not noticing Mr Watkins appreciating smile. Rounding the corner of the clinic he saw her sitting on the bench with her eyes closed. He pondered whether it would be better to leave her alone to her thought or talk to her right now.
She couldn't take this right now. Her mind was driving her crazy and having him sit so close to her wasn't helping matters. She needed to clear her head and the only place where she could do that right now was her clinic. No one seemed to mind when she left the party so she quickly walked over to her clinic sitting down on the bench in front. Closing her eyes she let the images of their earlier conversation surface again.
"…that's all it has to be - a birthday gift."
"I'm just not ready yet."
Was it really that? Was she not ready or was she simply scared? She didn't know. She could clearly remember how she had hoped for him to say something when she said she cared about him too, to talk back to her when she told him that a birthday gift was all it had to be. When she heard footsteps her breath caught in her throat and she silently hoped that it was just someone passing by. Not daring to open her eyes she waited for the footsteps to become more and more distant. But instead they stopped just feet from where she was sitting. She pondered the possibility to open her eyes and find Sully standing there, not knowing if that was what she wanted, needed right now.
"Hey" His voice caused her to open her eyes and look at him.
"Hey" He slowly moved closer not knowing if he was welcome right now or not.
When she didn't say anything he quietly sat down next to her. His hand lightly brushed hers in the movement and he noticed how she was quickly withdrawing it and bringing it into her lap. She didn't look at him and her gaze shifted from the street to the hand in her lap back and forth.
"You alright?" He finally broke the silence seeking assurance that he had been right.
"Yes." She gave back her eyes not meeting his.
He just wanted to ask her if she was really sure when someone passed by the clinic disturbing the moment.
"Can we talk inside?" She didn't answer immediately. Could she be alone in the same room with him right now? Could she? Could she refuse him?
"Sure." She moved over to the door careful not to touch him again and stepped in, directly walking behind her desk and sitting down in her doctoral manner.
He closed the door behind him and watched her sit down. Whatever she was preparing for, he noticed that she was already retreating back into her shell, shielding herself with the desk between them. But he wasn't willing to let it happen.
"You sure you're alright?" He asked anew.
Her head shot up and her eyes met his. Was he reading her thoughts?
When she didn't answer he took it as a yes and moved around the desk to kneel down beside her.
"I'm sorry…"
"What for?" She didn't know what he was sorry for.
"That I lied to ya." Her eyes searched his face for any sign what he was going to say, what he meant.
"I lied to ya when I said I wasn't ready. Truth is I was scared you weren't." He looked at her expectantly wishing her to say anything to lift the heavy load from his chest and help him breathe easily again.
Did he really just say that? Did he just say he was ready? Was she the one now standing in their way? But she hadn't meant it. She'd just said it because he said it. She was confused now. His lie had caused her to lie and now here they were trying to undo the things they had said and done.
"Truth is," he repeated when she didn't say anything, "it broke my heart when you said you weren't either." He feared that he was scaring her with everything she said. Did she feel pressured when he told her everything he felt? Should he have kept it to himself, waited for her to come to him?
Her eyes bore into his very soul and her brow furrowed with the words that were right in her throat but just wouldn't come out.
I lied too. I didn't mean it. I'm ready.
Her mind screamed at her to say the words but her lips just wouldn't form them. What was wrong with her? He had just bared his soul to her and she was too scared to do the same?
I lied. I lied. I lied. I lied. I lied. "I lied." Her hand shot up to her mouth. Did she just say that? The words had left her mouth without her knowing it and now she wished she could take them back.
Sully stared at her. Did he just hear her say that? He had wanted her to say it but the frightened look in her eyes when the words finally left her mouth made him think she didn't want to say it. But she must have been thinking it. His gaze didn't waver and when she took her hand away from her mouth he quickly moved in and kissed her on the lips.
The kiss was short and he quickly moved away from her gauging her reaction. He saw the shock written all over her features, but when she recovered and pressed her lips against his he knew he probably had the same look on his face.
He felt her lips pressed against him and it drove him wild. He had been right. Slowly he moved his hand to her cheek and moved his lips over hers. She hesitated a moment, but then she brought her arm around his shoulder and kissed him back. This felt good. Even better than her birthday kiss.
Her lips felt like heaven. They were soft and full and the way she was moving against him made his sense reel out of control. She broke the kiss for just a moment, hovering just inches from his lips.
"I lied too." She breathed against his face. Suddenly it was so easy to say it. "I lied too." Her face broke into a wide smile and she was grateful for his courage. Still marvelling at the sensation of his lips against hers she felt the urge to kiss him again. So she moved her lips back where they seemed to belong and felt the huge grin on his face as well.
He felt the smile spreading across his features as she said the words twice, with more sincerity and no fear in them. The smile let him know that she meant it and was more than glad to say it. When her lips touched his again, everything in the world was right for him. They were where they belonged. Here in each other's arms. Right now, it didn't matter what would come. All that mattered was that they both had lied and they both were able to admit it. They had lied to each other and now they made up.
The End
