Disclaimer: I still do not own NCIS or it's characters. I don't even own this laptop; it belongs to the Mayor of my city… (I'll give it back to her when she asks me to… maybe).
A/N: I'm sorry I haven't updated until now. School's been terribly busy this last week (May is always like this with all of the grades being set and all) and then there's the Eurovision Song Contest, which is a HUGE thing in Sweden and has always been a big deal. To us it's like this national festival that starts in February and comes to an end this weekend with the big finale. On top of the usual obsession, we now happened to have Carola as our contestant this year and she's like a national hero and a really famous person when it comes to ESC. I'm not a fan of hers but many, many people are. Finland won this year (the finale was held last night), which is a bit funny 'cause they always come in last. I really liked Russia's song so their guy should have won if you ask me.
Yes, NCIS 5 times a week here in Sweden and no, it's not reruns. Not after this Sunday at least. I had totally repressed the whole Twilight thing until they aired it on Wednesday… It's on really late here, after midnight, and well… sleep is not something I prioritise but that night between Wednesday and Thursday I got about 2 hours of sleep 'cause I was up all night crying my eyes out. My whole body hurt and then they aired Kill Ari pt 1 last night and I cried like a baby again for the whole episode. My mum's starting to worry about me and my friends think I'm crazy. They're like "But it's only a character!" It's not! It's Kate dying! And it's not only Kate the agent and person it's TATE the phenomenon! I'll soon repress the whole thing again but for now it's a bit too close and too real. On Access (the place on the net in Sweden where we meet and discuss tv) we got together and cried and hated. We hated Ari for killing Kate, we hated Sasha for wanting out, we hated Ziva for… well being Ziva, we hated Tony for being splattered with her blood and not getting together with her when he had the chance and we hated Gibbs for brining her up on that rooftop. We basically hated everyone.
Now it's time for some love again though… and some pain : ) Really cool that you're still with me on this one. Love your reviews.
Through Troubled Nights Chapter 4: We'll Weather The Storm
To Tony, everything around the two of them seemed to be spinning. A storm of voices and colors whirled around him. Far, far away he could hear Nat calling… he couldn't bring himself to find out what he wanted. He was busy.
With trembling fingers he searched for a pulse. He was relieved to find one. Bending down so that his cheek was inches from her mouth he was glad to feel her warm breath on his face. He pushed her hair out of her face and placed her head in his lap. Kate, open your eyes… don't do this to me!
He took a couple of deep breaths to clear his mind. He focused hard to make the world around him stop spinning. He fished his cell phone out of his pocket to call an ambulance and squinted to separate all of the colors still swirling in front of his eyes.
After making sure that an ambulance would come and having his surroundings back to the way they should be he frantically looked around for witnesses.
"Did anyone see what happened to her?" he called out. "Did someone hit her? Was she attacked?" He was desperate. He wanted a reason for this collapse, and he wanted it badly. I looked away… I looked away and now I don't know what happened. He cursed himself for not listening to her when she tried to get his attention.
A young man with a dog stepped forward. He cleared his throat and tried to bring the scared and frustrated man on the ground back from whatever world he mentally was in.
"She just collapsed, sir. You came around the corner… she… she just collapsed. No one attacked her. Is she going to be alright?"
Tony's eyes darted from the young man back to Kate. Just collapsed, it isn't possible, he thought running his hands hard over his face.
She snapped at me in the car, just like she always does. She made it pretty clear that I was annoying, obnoxious… me, just like any other day. Sure she was a bit pale and maybe a bit tired but… He stopped. He couldn't convince himself that it was okay for him to have missed this. There was no excuse for letting his partner down.
Gibbs, Tony thought, will kick my ass across the state for this… and if he won't, then I'll just do it myself.
Nat the gardener would have to wait.
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Back in the park, keeping track of what happened around him had been hard, but at the hospital Tony was aware of every word spoken and every movement made around him.
Someone observing him would probably doubt that though. They would see a young stressed man, with ruined Armani trousers, tousled hair and a look of wildness in his eyes. He looked as if he was on a mission and would bring the entire world down with him if he had to. Observant and alert wasn't really words that would come in mind.
He paced the waiting area, knowing that if he sat down or stopped he wouldn't be able to start moving again, ever. He felt completely drained of energy and all he knew was that he had to stay on his feet and that he couldn't let her down. He couldn't leave her. I totally forgive her for lying to me about her being infected with the plague that time… he thought knowing why she stayed with him that night.
The paramedics had told him that she wasn't dying, they just couldn't figure out why she'd collapsed. The nurse that had showed him where to wait had also told him that Kate's condition did not seem critical but all the running around, weird noises and strained voices told him that he shouldn't trust that verdict.
He wasn't sure where Kate was, exactly, and he hated himself for that. "Nice going Tony," he muttered under his breath, "you promise not to leave her and not to let her down again and you lose her!"
He sighed and picked up his pace a little. He wasn't sure why he felt like this. Why was she his whole world all of a sudden? Had she always been his whole world without him realizing it? No I've realized it alright… a long time ago, he thought with a loud sigh, but I also realized that day that she'd kill me if I told her. Of course she wouldn't feel the same about me, always trying to tick her off and embarrass her, and she'd feel uncomfortable around the office and transfer…
A nurse in a rush excused herself and hurried past him, pushing him aside gently. He spun around trying to understand what was happening. Doors down the long hall opened and closed… people entered and exited. No sign of Kate anywhere.
His feet hurt, his whole body hurt and he was just about to give up the pacing and just sit down in one of the white, very uncomfortable looking, plastic chairs when raised voices could be heard. Angry raised voices. Tony crashed to a halt, almost knocking over the flower arrangement in the big vase on the floor. He knew that angry, raised voice anywhere. If it was one angry, raised voice he truly knew, this was the one!
"Kate!" The name came flying out of his mouth without him actually deciding on calling out for her. A doctor that looked to be in his mid 50's exited the room down the hall with a strained and tired look on his face. He looked over the chart in his hand, walking towards Tony.
He knew his hospital and didn't mind lifting his eyes from his papers as he walked down the hall and entered the waiting area. He flipped through his papers and found what he was looking for, now all he had to do was- There was a pair of feet down there on the floor. He frowned. Not his own feet. He took a step to his right and the second pair of feet did the same. The doctor lowered his chart and followed the legs that were connected to the feet in front of him until his gaze landed on the face of a man.
Tony looked expectantly at the older doctor.
The doctor tilted his head slightly and looked back at Tony. "Yes?" He realized that he was probably a bit rude to the young obviously stressed man but he felt a bit stressed himself and things were not going too well with his patient at the moment.
Tony gestured towards the room that the doctor had exited. "Was that my partner? What's happening?"
"You're here for miss Todd?" The doctor looked almost hopeful.
"I'm on her contact sheet…" Tony said, leaning towards the doctor trying to get a better view of the chart in his hand. He found his name and number and pointed at it. He lifted his gaze from the paper and tried to see what was happening behind the doctor.
"You're Mr DiNozzo?"
"Special Agent DiNozzo," Tony showed the doctor his badge, "and that chart belongs to Special Agent Todd, my partner."
As the doctor reached out to shake his hand, Tony accepted.
"I'm Doctor Holland. I was just about to call… well as it turns out, you. I left a nurse with Agent Todd, she's a bit… angry at the moment"
Tony's face lit up. He'd been right.
"So she's alright then?" He asked hopeful. "Pissed and all I mean…"
Doctor Holland cleared his throat. "Agent DiNozzo… has your job required Agent Todd to fight someone recently, as in the last 24, maybe 48 hours?"
Tony grinned. "She's constantly fighting with me but-" Tony cut himself short as he watched Doctor Holland's expression. "You mean physically beat the crap out of someone?"
"I wouldn't put it like that and it seems more like Agent Todd was the one being beat up…" Doctor Holland watched Tony, waiting for the young Agent to tell him something useful. Nothing came. The Agent in front of him seemed lost in thought.
After a few seconds Tony realized that he should say something.
"She can take care of herself just fine on the job Doctor" What the…? Beat up? In the last 48 hours? When? How?, a thousand questions raced though his head together with the big one, "WHO?"
Doctor Holland sighed. "That confirms my theory. I don't believe that her injuries were caused in the line of duty. I've seen many patients like her over the years. Way too many."
"Patients like what?" Tony asked confused.
"I'd say Agent Todd has been exposed to domestic violence. Then again, her fear of letting me getting close enough to examine her since the second she regained consciousness points towards her being attacked by someone she doesn't know. I'm having a female colleague do a rape kit as we speak, Agent Todd wouldn't let me do it."
Tony really felt like sitting down now. As a fact, he wasn't even sure he could feel his legs under him anymore. He blinked a couple of times…
Doctor Holland placed a hand on Tony's upper arm to steady him. "Why don't we take a seat…?" He led Tony over to the chairs. Tony nodded, his legs still numb.
"S-She was… r-raped?" Tony felt the word suck his air from his lungs and he choked on the word.
"We don't know yet."
Tony looked at the doctor. "I haven't seen any bruises… anything…" He was confused and shocked. Tony hated being confused and he hated the feeling of shock. At that moment he hated most things actually. He hated the hospital for leaving him without information for so long and then just throw everything in his face. He hated Kate for not telling him she was hurt and he hated himself for not pushing her in to telling him what was going on.
"Her attacker has made sure to leave her hands and face without bruises… The main damage has been made to her upper arms, back and chest. We're taking her up for x-rays as soon as the rape kit's done. I want to make sure she doesn't have any cracked ribs. This kind of assault is common. This method is what makes me consider and even suspect domestic violence… but then again she's very nervous, scared even, around us male doctors and even male nurses… To be honest with you Agent DiNozzo I'm not sure what to think about this one…"
Tony felt sick to his stomach. He didn't want to hear about this but knew that he had to.
"Scared?" Tony asked. "Kate is a proud woman… she doesn't like others to see her weak. Are you sure she's just not feeling exposed? She sounded pretty angry to me when you left her." If Kate knew I'm sitting here evaluating her personality she'd punch me! …and if she'd come out and punch me I'd kiss her for not dying on me… Wow, I need to focus.
Tony pulled himself from his own thoughts hoping that the doctor hadn't said anything that he'd missed.
"You probably know her better than I do but I've seen this before Agent DiNozzo. Does she live with anyone? Husband? Boyfriend?"
Tony shook his head. "No, she's not married and she lives on her own as far as I know."
Doctor Holland looked puzzled. "You're not sure? I thought you were close to her…?"
"I am… sort of… I mean we work together and we…" Tony realized that he couldn't explain his relation to Kate… not even to himself. What were they? "She's a private person… but I think she'd let me know if she was moving in with someone."
Doctor Holland took notes. His eyes didn't leave his paper. "What about boyfriend, is she seeing someone?"
Tony winced. He knew these questions would come. He didn't have a clue whether she saw someone at the moment or not. He felt like crying as he realized that he hardly knew Kate at all. I'm a lousy contact person. I can't let the doctor think that though… I need him to understand why I need to stick around! Why Kate needs me…
"Look I… I… I love her. I love her, I really do but I don't know. She doesn't really tell me about these kinds of things. She hits me, she tells me I'm a moron and when I throw things at her… she throws back!" Tony looked at Doctor Holland hopeful. He wanted the man to understand… He even wanted himself to understand. He realized that it probably sounded crazy but it was the best way to explain it.
Doctor Holland sighed and stood. He wasn't really getting anywhere and he wasn't sure Agent DiNozzo's mind worked the way it should right now. The poor man must be worried out of his mind, the Doctor thought. I'll ask him again later…
The doctor excused himself and left. Tony was left all alone in the room again. He sat there in the chair, his legs numb and his head ready to explode.
"Tony!" Gibbs barked as he, walking through the door, recognized his agent in one of the plastic chairs.
As in a daze Tony turned around hardly recognizing his boss. He knew that he should probably stand up but he seemed to have misplaced his legs. Tony had called Gibbs' cell in the ambulance, leaving him a message. He'd totally forgotten about it until now.
Gibbs was accompanied by McGee, Ducky and Abby but Tony didn't notice. Gibbs looked around the room, frantically, wanting to find someone who could explain what Kate did in the hospital and why Tony seemed to have lost both the ability to speak and move since he last saw him this morning.
Tony was startled as he felt to small hands on his shoulders.
"You okay?" Abby asked searching for his eyes.
Tony started out by nodding but decided against it in the last moment and shook his head instead but the motion ended up more as a shrug… or… Abby frowned. She really didn't know what he meant.
Gibbs sat down next to Tony and Abby backed up.
"What happened DiNozzo?"
Tony thought about it… what happened…?
"Tony!" Gibbs yelled at him again, desperate to get an answer, a word, something out of his agent.
"I don't know. I had my back to her Boss. I don't know what happened."
"You had your back to her? I leave her with you for, what, an hour and you don't know what happened to her in that hour?" His tone was less angry now but it was far from calm.
When he puts it like that it just sounds crazy, Tony thought closing his eyes for a moment.
"It wasn't like that" he opened his eyes again.
"What was it like then Tony?" Gibbs barked clearly frustrated.
"We… we just played around. You know trying to push each others buttons. She'd ignore me when I wanted something so I ignored her…"
Gibbs sighed.
"I knew this day would come…"
"What day?" Tony asked.
"The day yours and Todd's bickering and bantering would put one of you in the hospital. I just always thought it'd be you." Gibbs gave Tony a small smile. Tony looked at him.
"Me?"
"I figured Kate would just snap and finally shoot your ass"
"The night's still young" Tony grinned, feeling a bit better.
"Would have to be some other day" came a small voice to their left. Kate leaned against the wall buttoning up the last buttons on her blouse. "They took my gun. Apparently patients being armed is against hospital policy"
"Kate!" Abby squealed bouncing up and down. She desperately wanted to hug her friend but decided to find out what was wrong with her first. "What happened?"
Gibbs made his way over to her and Ducky greeted her with a "Caitlin, dear, you had us terribly worried!"
McGee placed himself next to Abby glancing towards Tony, who was still seated clearly in shock after hearing Kate speak. Kate followed his gaze.
"I can't believe you're all here… It's not like I was shot," she said without taking her eyes off of Tony.
"Well if you look at the condition Tony's in, that could easily have been the case" McGee said.
Ducky saw Doctor Holland hiding in the background and decided to talk to him about Kate's condition. Gibbs followed him.
McGee took Abby's hand in his. "Why don't we get Kate… and Tony," he glanced towards the pale man in the chair "something from the cafeteria?"
Abby nodded. "We'll be right back Kate" She called as her and McGee walked down the hall.
Kate nodded and turned to Tony.
She winced, obviously in pain, as she took a seat next to him. He looked at her, a look of concern in his eyes. She ignored it. She was more concerned about him.
"Flirted with any of the nurses yet?" she asked in a light voice reaching out, touching his cheek. He locked eyes with her.
"Not yet" he gave her a small smile that soon faltered. "You should have told me…"
Kate let her hand slip from his cheek and placed both of her hands on her lap. He was hurt.
"I'm fine Tony…" she tried.
"No you're not!" Tony snapped. She flinched at his tone and he regretted the anger. He took a breath to calm himself. "Who's doing this to you?" He asked.
She looked a bit panicked and her eyes widened. "I… I…" She caught herself just as she was about to tell one of the worlds most famous lies: I fell down the stairs. She'd seen so many other women do that and she'd always considered it pathetic and obviously not true. "It doesn't matter Tony"
He looked at her as if she was crazy. Doesn't matter? What is she, insane?
"It matters Kate! It matters to me, it matters to Gibbs… it matters to us all"
She shook her head placing one of her trembling hands in his. "I want to go home and forget about this now… please Tony"
He felt cold inside. He felt like he wanted to scream and shout. Maybe throw one of these plastic chairs through a window, he thought. She wasn't ever supposed to have to say "please Tony" like that. Like she was about to break, like she wanted to cry. "Please Tony" was supposed to be for when he took pictures of her ass at a crime scene or when he ate her lunch. "Please Tony" was supposed to mean, "stop it, or I'll shoot you"…
"I'm not sure we can leave Kate. What about the rape kit?"
She looked away… and just stared at something at the wall in front of them. Something invisible.
"I know what happened to me Tony and I wasn't raped." She swallowed hard and felt Tony squeeze her hand.
He was a little relived. Sure she could be lying to him but just hearing her saying that she knew what had happened to her eased his mind a bit. That was the Kate he knew.
"Kate" Gibbs and Ducky had returned and Gibbs looked pissed.
Kate and Tony looked at him. She clung to Tony's hand.
Gibbs was really angry and Kate knew he probably wasn't angry with her but it still scared her.
"Yes?"
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What happens next? Will Kate tell them what happened? That sure wouldn't make Mitchell happy…
Again, sorry for the delay. I'm working on making the chapters longer and I'll be able to update more frequently when this stupid month is over. May is hell. I have this big thing that's due tomorrow and I'm not done with it :S so I'm off to finish that. I hope you enjoyed this chapter even though it was slow. I do watch ER but that doesn't really mean that I'm an expert when it comes to the medical stuff. Just play along, would ya:P
Really frustrated with this site at the moment. Is it just me or is being… well hinky right now? In Swedish I'd say "Jag anar ugglor i mossen"… haha no I wouldn't but someone a bit older than me might have considered putting it like that. I'll stop babbling now since you guys can't understand me and my Scandinavian language anyways…
Thanks for reading. You know I love to hear you speculate (and tell me other things as well) in reviews ;)
/Malin