Narutowalked into the Anime Convention, itching at his Sailor Mars skirt. He looked around, then walked into the back of the line behind a person dressed as Darth Vader. He sat down and took out a razor and shaving cream. "What in the world are you doing?" The Darth Vader asked, his voice high pitched.Naruto looked at him, annoyed. "I am shaving that thing!" He said, pointing at the Chewbacca cosplayer standing next to Darth Vader. Darth Vader sighed, and pulled off his black pants. "Shave my legs!" He ordered. The Chewbacca cosplayer roared. A Security guard looked over with a nervous glance, his antlers hidden under a bowlers hat.
Narutolooked strangely at the Darth Vader. "AS IF!" He said before squirting shaving cream onto the cosplayer's mask. He ran off to the merchants room where he hid behind a large girl cosplaying as InuYasha from.. you know..InuYasha! Darth Vader fell over, twitching violently on the ground. The fat girl turned around, her costume too small, rolls of fat around her ankles and stomach. "Hi!" She screamed."HI!"Naruto shouted back at her. "HEY are YoU coSPLAYING as MiROKU?" She asked her voice ranging like a young boy going through puberty. "NO!"Naruto shouted. The InuYasha sighed "DARN! I've NEver ReaLLY waTCHED the SHow so, I would NOT knOW!" Naruto stared at the girl, who started poking him with a plastic 'Sting' sword form Lord of the Rings.
"THen ARE you COSplaying THAT person ON THE commercial FOR Herbal ESSENCE?"Naruto was starting to get angry. "NO! GOD WHAT KIND OF FREAK ARE YOU? HUH?" The girl burst out in tears. She vanished in a poof of purple smoke, and was replaced by a boy with shoulder length silver hair, blue eyes, and very weird pants.Naruto screamed loudly, throwing gluesticks at the boy. "HITLER! I KNEW YOU TOO WELL!" He yelled in a voice sounding not unlike Seth Dome's. The boy screamed and threw tape dispensers at Naruto. "JOANNE! I NEVER KNEW YOU!" A boy with spiky brown hair appeared behind them both. Ricardo turned and threw a gluestick at the boy, but the boy destroyed it with his laser eye vision before it even touched him. He went up to the silver haired teen and grabbed his ear "WE ARE GOING HOME!" He shouted staring at the boy.
The silver haired boy yelled something in Greek. "NO! NOT AGAIN, CHAROL!"Naruto snuck away as they disappeared in a puff of pink smoke. Naruto wasn't looking where he was going and bumped into a large hairy man. "You want olives?" the man asked Naruto.Naruto blinked at him "No." He replied. "I give you olives!" The man said and threw can of olives at Naruto's head before jumping on a Kagome cosplayer's back and riding into the sunset.Naruto sighed, looking down at his shoes. This was the best Anime con EVER! All of the sudden, a herd ofPETA protestors came in, gathering up all the cosplayers that looked remotely like animals, And trying to protect them. APETA protestor grabbed his head. "ARE YOU AN ANIMAL?" He asked loudly. "What do you think?" AskedNaruto back at him. The peta member sat down on the ground to think. Suddenly he jumped up and ripped off his shirt and pants to reveal a glittering pink jump suit. "Well youlook like a monkey and you smell like one to!" the member started to sing. Soon the whole group of PETA protestors were behind him singing along. The protestors ripped off their shirts and pants, revealing brightly colored clothes, getting into a line, and doing the tango around the group of Moogles, InuYashas, Giant Cats, Pocky sticks, Edward Elrics, Kilalas, Kuronekos, Hello Kitties, Azumanga Daioh cats, Shuichis. One of the Elrics started yelling in Dutch, while a Moogle attempted to head-butt thePETA dancers.
The Elric that was yelling in Dutch walked byNaruto. "Beware of the dancing Sango snake." he whispered into his ear.Naruto looked after him. "What?" But it was to late. The Elric was lying on the ground, dead, impaled by a hockey stick. Naruto looked at the thrower of the hockey stick, seeing no one in the crowd of dancers and animal-wannabes. Out of nowhere, he heard a small voice. "Come on, Ham Hams! GET THEM!" A herd of small mammals lept onto the dancers and animal people, gnawing at their flesh and hitting them with shovels. An icy voice came from a floating cloud. "Good, my pets, KILL THEM ALL!" It was the SANGO SNAKE! Half Sango, half snake, it had a Snake body, but a SANGO HEAD! The Sango snake flipped her hair into Ricardo's face.
She pushed her face up next to his. "Now, my sweet Naruto Uzumaki, if you want to be my lover, you gotta with my friends!" Shesang her voice low and deep.Naruto squinted at her. "NOO! BAD 90's MUSIC!" Heyelled. Sango's eyes suddenly turned sky blue. "WELL THEN FEEL MY WRATH!" She shouted before spitting fireballs, Mario style, at him. Naruto looked at the small fire balls bouncing slowly across the ground, and felt his body change, his clothes turning red and blue. "MAMA MIA! A TOE CALAMARI LOMBARDIOSIO!" He shouted, jumping over the fireballs. The Ham Hams saw that their leader's fireballs of death were being dodged, and JUMPED TO ATTACK! But then they all fell to the ground. A man dressed as a toilet went around, shoving white powder up their noses.
THEY SPRANG TO ACTION! Jumping at Naruto, they were suicidal, attacking him but risking their lives, for they were getting fried from the Sango-snake's vicious attacks. Sango snake screamed out "ROY! COME AND HELP ME NOW!" A man's face peeked out from behind a counter. "Aww...do I have to?" He asked, his black bangs falling over his eyes. Sango glared at him. "YES!" she shouted. Roy slowly inched out of his hiding space, andNaruto saw why he had been so upset to have to leave it. Sango-snake had forced him to wear... a leopard print speedo! And nothing else. Roy slowly dragged his way over and grabbedNaruto by the shoulders. Holding him still for the wrath of Sango-snake.
The hamsters, now fried, were quickly eaten by a liger. Sango snake built up an EXTREME fireball in her mouth, when Roy did a double flip, landed in front of Naruto, and put his pinky to the side of his mouth. "Now, Sango snake, I believe it is time to.. HOW SHALL I SAY THIS.. Fight FIRE WITH FIRE! AHAAHAHAHAHAHA!" Then he was burnt up before he could say anymore. Sango-Snake sighed. "Thank god that god rid of him..." And began to build up another extreme fireball. Before she could do anymore there was a loud shout from across the room. Edward Elric's voice floated through the crowd. "AL, WE'VE FINALLY DONE IT! WE HAVE FOUND THE PHILOSOPHER'S STONE!" A blinding red light filled the room, and Sango-snake screamed in a high pitched voice. Edward blinked, and turned off the blaring red light. "Sorry about that. I didn't mean to turn that on. But, AL, WE'VE DONE IT! WE'VE GOT THE PHILOSOPHERS STONE!" He started doing the disco when SANGO SNAKE flew out of the air at his head. Ed screamed. "BY THE POWER INVESTED IN ME.. I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU HUSBAND AND WIFE!"
The stone glowed as though it would shoot laser beams, but Ed just threw it. It hit the back of Naruto's head. Sango snake glared. "OH NO! NOW I'M MARRIED TO THAT STUPID MORTAL!" Ricardo gasped as Ed ran over to a machine, put in a coin, turned the knob, and took out a plastic ring that said 'Pimp' On it. He slipped it on Naruto's finger. "YOU MAY KISS THE BRIDE!" Sango snake flew out of the air, aiming at Naruto's mouth to kiss. BeforeNaruto knew what was happening Armstrong appeared betweenNaruto and Sango-snake. "NARUTO NO! YOU CAN NOT! I...I LOVE YOU!" He said opening his arms to embrace Naruto. Sango-snake bit off his head and blood began to pool around his now fallen body. "NOBODY SHALL TAKE MYNaruto AWAY FROM ME! NOBODY!" Suddenly everybody heard a click. Riza was standing behind Sango snake. "Hey...it's a machine...and holy carp! Sakura is inside of it!" Sure enough the girl was sitting inside, surrounded by glowing buttons. "What?" She asked the stunned crowd.
Then Chi flew down from the sky, falling next to the machine. "Chi?" She asked. Everyone gasped. Riza stripped and ran around naked. On the machine was a piece of paper that said: "TIME MACHEENE" Dun dun dun.Naruto pulled off the paper and began to chew on it. Everybody stared at him. "What?" he asked. "I didn't eat breakfast." He said simply. The still naked Riza handed him some beets. "Just for you!" she said just before linking arms with Alphonse Elric, Ed following them. Ed was chanting to himself. "With a whore at my side and the pimp that followed." While nibbling on his PIMP ring. Alphonse raised his hand. "I wanna be the pimp!" The three skipped away. Then, out of no where, CAME THE DARTH VADER COSPLAYER! "You didn't shave my legs!" He shouted. "Wait! Everyone freeze!" The leader of the Convention came out, dressed as a Moogle. "First of all, STAR WARS ISN'T ANIME!" The Darth Vader Cosplayer walked away crying. "SECOND OF ALL, NO BEETS OR WHORES OR TIME MACHINES ALLOWED!" She took out a machine gun and shot around like crazy.Naruto ducked and covered his head. He then jumped up and kicked off the Moogle mask. "THOUGHT YOU COULD STOP THE FUN IN SUN, J.K. ROWLING?" He asked as the elderly blonde author slumped to the ground. JK Rowling screamed. "NOOO! MY PLAN TO GET ARRY POTTER PUBLISHED A WEEK EARLY BECAUSE OF HIS AUTHOR BEING AT THE HEAD OF AN ANIME CONVENTION HAS FAILED!" She screamed.Naruto laughed maniacally, eating carpet glue. Harry Potter flew in on his broom by JK Rowling. "Hey babe, you forgot to call me after you wen' home yesterday." He picked her up and flew off.
When the were gone, a pair of Harry Potter panties flew in from the sun roof that happened to be there, landing on Naruto's head.Naruto pulled them onto his pants and whistled. Kagome stopped by "Where ya wanna go? " she asked in a deep voice, scratching at her beard. "Just take me somewhere new."Naruto said before jumping onto Kagome's back and riding off into the parking lot. While riding Kagome down the highway, a shirt flew into Naruto's face. It said "My friend went to Iraq and all I got was this lousy SHIRT!"Naruto pulled it over his head, NINJA FASHION, as Kagome pulled into his driveway.
He walked into his house, and his mom rushed toward him her green hair in a large braid. "OH HONEY WHERE WERE YOU?" She asked shouting, but not sounding worried at all. "I went to Canada, Mom."Naruto said. "Oh did you buy me anything?" She asked picking up the dog that was attempting to eat Naruto's ankles. "No. Just this brand new car." he said, pointing to Kagome, who was still in their front yard, looking confused. Naruto's mom screamed with delight. "OH A VOLKSWAGEN! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED ONE!" Her, Naruto, and the dog hopped onto Kagome and rode away into the sunset. THE END!
Okay, now back to my other normal, serious story.. Hope you guys enjoyed the stupid humor. xD Review if you want.