Title: Against What's Expected
Rating: PG
Pairing: Harry/Draco
"Ginny, we need to talk," I say and my voice is strained. I don't want to end this. I don't want to loss Ginny, but yet I do. She looks at me, tears in her eyes because somehow she knows this is coming. She knows I'm going to break up with her. I don't know how she knows, but I'm not sure I want to.
Her nimble fingers wrap around my wrist. "I know Harry. You don't love me. I can tell by the way you look at me; it's not the same. But - tell me something," she pleads. I nod because I at least owe her that, don't I? I strung her along for so long. She should be angry with me, not understanding. "Did you ever love me?"
I nod again. It seems to be the only thing I can do. My tongue is thick in my mouth, and I want to apologize. I want to take it back at the sight of her face, the tears pooling in her eyes and threatening to spill over, but I know I can't. In the long run, I won't be happy and either will Ginny.
"What did I do wrong?"
"Ginny says you broke up with her," Ron announces the moment I walk over the threshold of their house. Hermione is sitting on the couch, her baby in her arms. I smile at them and wave to their little daughter. She is so adorable. Ginny and I had often talked about marrying and having a child of our own. I think that's why I stayed with her so long.
Hermione pats the spot beside her. "Do you want to talk about it?" And I do, but I don't. I seem unable to make decisions lately.
I take the seat beside her. She deposits their child into my arms and I look down at her. Ron has moved in front of me. I know he will never forgive me for dropping his sister when she loved me, but I also know nothing will change between us. We will always be best friends.
"I'm gay," I whisper, wanting to bolt, but the child in my arms wraps her little hand around my finger. I don't want to see their reactions. This is the one thing I'm afraid will change things between us.
Hermione pats me on the shoulder and kisses my forehead. Ron, on the other hand, had a pained look on his face, as if he's trying to figure something out. Finally, he gives a half smile and says, "How do you know?"
I've seen Draco everyday since Hogwarts. We both work in the ministry as aurors. At first I hated him, like usual, but then we became partners. He's not so bad when you get to know him. Oh, he's the same annoying, stuck-up, self centered, rich brat. But when his remarks are not directed at you, or more humorous than cutting, he's fine. And when he smiles, my stomach melts.
I'm not sure when I started developing feelings for Draco, but when I saw him strip down in the work showers I realized them. A date seemed like a great idea, but that was a year ago. I haven't worked up the courage to do so, until now.
Ginny isn't in the way and I have from a good source that Draco is single and gay. The only thing I don't know is if he will accept.
"Draco," I say, voice shaky, and I curse that silently. He looks over, his grey eyes questioning and I almost bolt. Almost. "I was wondering if you'd like to go out for a cup of tea, together."
He simply stares until I shift uncomfortably. "Okay." And his breath sends relief through me. "Why though?"
We've been dating for half a year now. It's nice. Interesting. I've never been with a bloke before, but I've found it's not much different from being with a bird. The only difference is the sex is much better, and I love Draco more. Only, I don't say that. Neither of us has used the L word. We say like, adore, want but never love.
Once Draco said it, but in a joking manner. I've been apprehensive to use it ever since. What if he thinks I'm joking, or a girl for saying it? What if he doesn't return the feeling?
But when he's laying in my bed next to me, one finger in my hair and the other smoothing circles on my arm, like now, I want to tell him. Always one for impulses, I do. "I love you, Draco," I breathe, then stiffen, waiting for him to leave or say something harsh.
But to my surprise, he pulls me close and kisses me. Our teeth clash and he smells like morning breath, but I don't care. He whispers, "Love you too," into my mouth. Doing what is unexpected of me can reap fine results, I decide and lace kisses along his jaw line.