The water rained down in warm droplets against his skin. He tilted his head back, letting the water caress his neck and run down onto his shoulders. Theodore closed his eyes and released a built-up breath. He reached forward and twisted the shower knob. The bathroom tiles were cold against his feet as soon as he stepped out, giving an involuntary shudder.

Theodore wrapped himself in a warm, soft towel and began to dry off.

This was nothing like being at home - no house elf to draw a bath for him, no charms for drying off and no comfort in the feeling of belonging home. Theodore felt out of place.

He clumsily reached for his clothes and began to dress while staring at the boy before him in the mirror. Messy brown hair, dull hazel eyes and a thin, wiry build. Nothing had changed; he looked the same as he always had.

He was still Theodore Nott. So why did he feel so out of place in this body?

It might be nice to be someone else. Have a mother who bought him stylish, expensive clothes like Blaise or a nice, pretty future laid out before him like Pansy. Maybe he'd be Harry Potter, the boy who lived, the boy who did not have to choose sides because it was already chosen for him. Theodore bet that Harry Potter never felt like he did now. Harry Potter would never feel so empty inside.

Theodore looked down at the pale flesh on his arms, unmarked. The only part of his future that he was certain of right now was that sometime soon he would have to make a choice. Most likely before he was ready to decide.

The perpetual nervousness in his stomach turned into an urge to laugh at the irony of it all.

Here he was – Theodore Nott, who always loved being a loner, the Theodore Nott who cursed having to live with dorm mates and participate in social events in the Slytherin Common Room, the Theodore Nott who had turned down adventures with friends for a book full of meaningless words.

Alone.

Yes, that was the irony of it all. He was now truly alone but he had never felt more miserable now than he had ever in his entire life. He was utterly and completely alone.

Fighting the urge to just break down and cry right then and there, Theodore turned away from the mirror and opened the bathroom door. He saw no sign of his uncle as he looked around the hallway and began walking.

"Theodore! There you are," his Uncle said. Theodore turned around. "Enjoy your shower?"

Theodore stood in the doorway to the office, nervously glancing at his uncle who was shuffling through papers at the desk. "Yeah, it was fine," he said.

His uncle smiled up at him. "Wonderful, is there anything in particular you wanted to do today? Maybe go for a walk around the neighborhood? It's supposed to be a beautiful day today."

"Actually, that sounds nice," said Theodore.

A walk sounded perfect. He could convince himself he was sorting out his thoughts while wading through a knee deep pool of self-pity.

"Try not to get too lost!" his uncle said with a laugh.

The warm breeze gently caressed his skin and ruffled his hair as he closed the front door behind him. With a glance down the street, Theodore decided he was definitely in the suburbs – green grass, blue skies and houses evenly lined up in parallel rows. The smell of freshly cut grass filled his senses.

Muggle life was disgustingly different from what he was used to.

The neat, cement pavement marked his path as he traveled down the sidewalk. The houses seemed to all look the same, with a few slight differences, and the lawns all looked perfect. No one was outside, as far as Theodore could tell. It was still early in the morning and he guessed that the Muggle children must be savoring their precious sleep after having to spend the past months waking up early for school.

Theodore had no idea what he would do if a Muggle approached him.

He rounded the corner and started down a different street. He noted that this street looked exactly the same as the last. The houses, the cars and the lawns were all the same. Didn't Muggles ever get bored with this?

Theodore sighed, running his fingers through his hair. The heat was beginning to take its toll on him and he could feel the sweat beginning to form on the back of his neck. He didn't want to go back now, not just yet. He still needed more time to think.

He sat down on the sidewalk, curling his knees close to his chest and resting his head on top of them. A white house stood before him, with cookie cutter square windows and a freshly painted front door. Muggles lived in these houses. Theodore had to admit to himself that he had never actually come in much contact with a real Muggle before. He had dealt with Muggle-borns and Half-Bloods certainly but Muggles were an entirely different species. Well, or so he heard.

Maybe he should just give up on everything, buy himself a house in the suburbs and live like a Muggle until the war ended.

If the war ever ended.

He dismissed the idea because he knew he could never live like a Muggle. He could never live without magic because it was too much a part of him. Plus, living like a Muggle would involve interactions with Muggles. He would be no better than them.

If only Draco Malfoy could see him now.

He tilted his head back and looked up at the sky, recalling the words from one of his favorite childhood books that his father had read him.

"Look up at the sky. Ask yourselves: is it yes or no? Has the sheep eaten the flower? And you will see how everything changes."

Theodore decided that he had to talk to Blaise as soon as possible.

Blaise was as close to a friend as Theodore had.

Note: The quote is from "the Little Prince" by Antoine de Saint Exupéry.