A/N: Time for an update! Woo-hoo.
I just want to say mucho thanks to everyone who reviews, I really appreciate all of your input.
"Come on Mr. Lupin, drink your tea before it gets cold," A young woman said sweetly. She had a tall, gangly figure, and her blonde hair sat at a knot at the side of her head. Remus picked up his teacup and pressed the rim to his lips, and as soon as she turned away, he drained it into a potted plant.
"This is stupid," he grumbled to Sirius, who was squinting into his own empty cup.
"Yeah, Lavalus isn't a seer. She can't even tell a storm's coming without going to Hogsmeade and tuning into the muggle weather station," Sirius replied.
"Did I hear my name?" the woman twisted around, bearing her usual spacy expression. Sirius' hand shot up in the air.
"Yes Professor, I think I see a wet clump of leaves in my cup. Does that mean I'm going to get mangled by a Hippogriff?" he inquired, grinning madly.
Lavalus sighed and began to wander towards the opposite end of the stuffy classroom. "Nobody in the Black family has ever shown the slightest compatibility with Seeing either way," she mused.
Remus chuckled, flipping a couple of pages in his copy of Interpreting the Dream Oracle. "According to this load of rubbish, something nature-related like leaves in your cup means when Mars aligns with the moon, your pugnacious side will come out. Does this mean we're all beasts?"
"Well you are," Sirius grinned. Remus punched his upper arm.
James and Peter sat in a pair of armchairs arranged a few rows behind the other two Marauders. The pudgy blonde boy was attempting, unsuccessfully, to extinguish the smoldering embers topping one of the many incense cones scattered around the dimly lit classroom.
Out of the corner of his eyes, James couldn't help but notice Lily struggling with her tea leaf reading.
"Hey there Evans. Swell morning, eh?" he grinned. Lily frowned at him.
"What do you want, Potter?"
James looked offended. "Lily, can't we just have a friendly conversation? I mean, since we're mates and all."
"Right," Lily raised her eyebrows and returned her attention to the teacup, her friend giggling madly and ogling James.
"So about this summer... You live across the street, I figured we could at least hang out a few times," James said suavely, rumpling his hair.
"Not on your life," was Lily's snappy reply.
"Shot down!" Peter chuckled in between attempts at conjuring an Aguamenti charm.
James gave Lily one last wink before he began to peer around the room, mostly checking out Sirius and Remus in their small squabble over the impending tea leaves. Confident of his seclusion from prying eyes, James began to scribble on a sheaf of parchment hidden under his tea leaf assessment form, pausing occasionally to suck on the end of his sugar quill.
Remus shivered, feeling the cool of the marble floor penetrate though his socks. "Remind me to murder James for letting his owl have at my slippers," he said.
"Will do," Sirius replied quietly. He held his wand, lit at the tip, out in front of him as the duo navigated the dark corridors.
As they passed by a blazing torch, he noticed the uneasiness in Remus' expression. "This is going to be pie, Moony. I got Slughorn to sign a note for the restricted section. Well, Potter actually did, but we're borrowing it."
"Why are we looking in the restricted section?" Remus asked hotly. "I'm not brewing anymore Polyjuice Potion."
"You'll see when we get there," Sirius replied. "And the Polyjuice idea was dumb anyway."
"Now you admit it," Remus mumbled, then fell silent. Slowly withdrawing his wand from the inside pocket of his robes, Sirius slowed down his pace.
"I think I hear something," he whispered. "Probably that bloody cat, Mrs. Norris."
Remus gripped his wand as well. "I guess we'll have to hex her?"
"Whoa, Moony goes vicious. It's not even full moon yet," Sirius chuckled. "It's probably nothing anyway," he added, ducking out from under the invisibility cloak as they approached the library.
Remus rolled his eyes, tugging the cloak off of himself and leaning against a wall. The sleepy occupant of a portrait hanging there grunted in his sleep.
"Alohomora," Sirius muttered, tapping the door with his wand. Nothing happened.
"See? The founders of this school are smarter than to leave the library vulnerable after hours," Remus trilled, strumming his fingers on the wooden-paneled walls.
"That's it, no more coffee for you." Sirius dug in the pocket of his pants, resurfacing with a small pocket knife held fast in his hand. He wedged the shining silver blade in the crevice between the solid oak paneling of the door and the wall, then ran it up and down over the lock. There was a soft click, and the door creaked open. Sirius grinned and led the way inside.
"Something I nicked from my attic. Qute useful, really," he gloated, making a beeline for the restricted section. Remus watched, slighty in awe, as he slid the handy little knife back into the recesses of his pocket.
"So did you look in all these books for information about Animagi?" Within 5 minutes, Remus' curiosity had gotten the better of him, and he sat in a rigid-backed chair combing through an old volume of a restricted Wizard's Encyclopedia.
Sirius nodded as he scanned the index of a large, dusty textbook. "Of course, but I only found a bunch of warnings and restrictions. Don't worry though, if there's not an entire series about ways to double-cross the Ministry in the Black family library, I'm a warlock's uncle," he assured.
Remus climbed up on a step stool, stretching to reach a hard-bound book that was elaborately decorated violet and gold. "What's this doing here?" he asked, surprised at the cheery color scheme.
Sirius leaned over and read the title over Remus' shoulder, "A Lover's Guide to 101 Non-Magical Uses for a Wand. Interesting find, Remmy."
Gasping at the animated cover art, Remus tossed the book aside. "Alright, alright, I'll help you out now. What's the plan this time?"
"Slughorn mentioned the drought that ensues temporary gender switch of the user, and I always though Snape would look downright fit as a bird," Sirius replied smugly.
"You're going to turn Snape into a girl?" Remus repeated dully. His dark-haired companion nodded slowly.
"That'll top anything James can come up with, eh?" Sirius nudged Remus with his elbow.
"Why do I think this is a really bad idea," Remus commented, still slightly dumbfounded. "Honestly, that's grounds for expulsion! And it's really advanced work, I doubt we could pull it off."
Sirius rolled his eyes. "I think it's a spiffing idea. So are you gonna help me or not?"
Remus frowned. A small part of him agreed that, yes, it's quite hilarious. But a majority of Remus' thoughts urged him not to go along with it, and Snape's face, twisted with rage and shame, stood out clearly in his mind. He stood frozen on the spot, scuffing his foot against a particularly bare spot on the ancient carpeting.
Heaving a great sigh, Sirius spoke gently, "Look, you don't have to help me, okay? I'll figure out something else."
"Okay." Remus gazed up at Sirius, uttering the only response he could manage. The rest of his words seemed to be stuck behind his teeth.
"Let's get back to the dorms." Sirius' voice was free of any malevolence, it even seemed calm. Remus smiled meekly back into the dark haired boy's unconcerned expression, a small twinge of guilt writhing in his stomach.
Finally nodding in reply, Remus slipped under the invisibility cloak with Sirius.
"What in the name of Merlin's Beard is he doing now?"
Remus looked up from his quite pathetic game of Wizard's chess against Peter. The pudgy blonde boy grimaced as his queen was assailed by another one of his friend's white nights.
"Looks like he's throwing some toast for the giant squid. D'you suppose he's going to try and feed Malfoy to it?"
"Sirius, sit down," Remus replied. "Stop worrying about it."
"Peter, did James mention anything about the squid eating Malfoy?" Sirius stalked away from the window, taking a seat on the very edge of his bed.
Shaking his head, Peter responded, "He didn't tell me much, actually. Sorry."
Sirius nodded in reply, rubbing his chin in thought. "Maybe I'll ask Lily if she knows anything about it. I mean I saw them talking in Divination earlier, who knows what she could be helping him with."
"We've been over this, Lily Evans would never help James Potter," Remus said confidently after urging his pawn to take Peter's knight. "Now calm down, this prank thing is no big deal. Besides, you're much better at it than he is."
Remus watched Sirius' scowl twist into a faint grin.
"That's the spirit, Moony," Sirius replied in soft tones, easing back onto the bed. With a strange difficulty, Remus drew his eyes away from Sirius' relaxed posed stretched out across his four-poster and turned back to his chess game.
Peter groaned, watching as his knight crumbled, completely exposing his king.
"Checkmate," replied Remus wearily.
A/N: I know that update was on the short side, but the next will be super-long. I swear.
Now purlease review.