A/N: Yay! An update! And BTW, all your reviews are fabulous, and they really brighten my day. So thanks, and read onnn.

"Moony, wake up!" Peter was practically frothing at the mouth as he rushed up to Remus' bed, color high in his cheeks. Remus stirred slightly and opened his eyes, squinting at the bright sunlight flooding into the room.

"What is it?" he asked groggily, "I wanted to sleep in, I've been up late study for exams."

"Sirius is in trouble!" Peter gasped.

Remus rubbed his eyes before propping himself up on his elbows. "What'd he do this time? Did they find out about the fireworks?" his voice was scratchy.

Shaking his head frantically, Peter began to tug at the sleeve of Remus' night shirt. "No, Sirius! Drowning- The giant squid!"

Remus yanked back his sleeve and swung his feet out of bed. "Sirius is drowning the squid?"

"No! The squid is drowning Sirius!"

"Oh. Bloody hell!" Remus yelped, springing to his feet. Wildly rummaging through a pile of dirty laundry, he unearthed a wrinkled set of robes.

"We have to hurry!" Peter was anxiously twisting the brass doorknob so far Remus thought it was going to pop right out of the door. Jamming his arms into the sleeves of the rumpled cotton material, Remus snatched his wand as he dashed out the doorway.

By the time Remus and Peter made it onto the grounds, a mass of students and professors alike had congregated by the lakeside.

Remus pushed by a group of fourth year girls standing by a large Beech Tree, fighting his way though the large crowd with Peter in his wake. From over the shoulders of three very excited underclassmen Ravenclaws, Remus spotted Sirius.

He was clinging to dry land with his hands fisted in the grass. Dark curtain of hair plastered to his very pale face and grey eyes impossibly wide and glassy, Sirius was gasping for oxygen and muttering something. Remus noticed how his robes were dark with water, clinging tightly to his quivering body.

A handful of teachers hovered by the water's edge taking control over the hectic situation. Hagrid was attempting to sweet-talk the large, angry squid back into the water. It was enormous and mottled purple and really quite ugly, Remus decided. But Hagrid, who was normally so good with animals, was having trouble making the squid go back into the lake, largely due to the fact that one thick, suction-cupped tentacle was still tight around Sirius' left ankle.

Madam Pomfrey seemed to be wavering between disgust, astonishment and hilarity. She was attempting to administer a moral lesson and restrain herself from hitting Sirius with a large rock at the same time. Professor McGonagall would have none of that indecisiveness and was shouting things like, "You have so many detentions to look forward to Mr. Black!" and "Why on earth have you been harassing the squid in the first place!"

On the sidelines, students stood in small huddles, whispering intently. Lily looked on with a mystified expression on her face, and James appeared genuinely concerned. Probably more upset than concerned, Remus mused silently. Nothing he could pull off would draw this much attention.

Finally, Hagrid seemed to lure the squid away from Sirius with a large stack of buttered toast fresh off the tray of a house-elf who had just dashed up to te water's edge. Tension got the best of Remus, and he rushed forawrd, shouting, "Sirius Black!"

The sound of his voice made Sirius' shoulders tense before he glanced around confusedly, until fuzzy grey eyes found Remus in the crowd and a large, stupid grin spread across his lips.

"Remmy!" Sirius gasped, coughing up a bit of water.

James, Remus, and Peter pushed through the remaining crowd until they were standing over Sirius, gazing down at his flushed cheeks and the smirk triumph on his face. Sirius looked as if he waiting for a royal chariot, and not as if Madam Pomfrey hadn't just muttered a Squeezing Spell to remove all the water from his belly as if he were an oversized, overdressed sponge. Madam Pomfrey rolled him over onto his back, and he began to shout, staring straight up at the sky.

"It worked!" Sirius beamed. "I think. But I'm almost positive that it totally and probably had to have mostly worked!"

James yelled, "You're cracked!"

Remus mumbled, "I can't believe you're so stupid!"

"I'm a genius! No one has ever come up with anything this good!" Sirius bellowed, raising one fist powerfully and narrowly missing Madam Pomfrey's face, "Sorry, ma'am- And nobody will, ever again. I am King!"

"You are hypothermic!" Remus shouted. "You're insane! You nearly drowned!"

"Merlin's Beard! What'd you do?" James asked in awe.

"Genius!" Sirius whooped. "Bloody genius!"

"Oh for Heaven's sake!" Madam Pomfrey put a silencing spell on Sirius, and floated him back to the infirmary, warning that if anybody came round or so much as uttered the word "squid", she'd make failing end of the year exams the least of their problems.

Early the next morning, as the sun was just peeking up over the horizon, Remus awoke to James' face inches from his own.

"Up, Remus, Sirius just told me the prank should be going off soon. Bet it isn't nearly as good as mine," James replied, clutching a pocket-sized mirror with a wooden frame.

"What'd he say about it?" Remus mumbled, rubbing his eyes. "And why now?"

This is the second time I've lost sleep over this bloody prank war, Remus mused silently, vowing to make sure Sirius and James got on better footing with each other.

Peter had taken the mirror from James, and was now animatedly chatting into it. "Where are we supposed to be looking? And what for?" he chimed, sitting Indian style in such a way that the hem of his much-too-small pajamas rested halfway up his pudgy ankle.

"Gimme that," Remus reached out for the mirror, and was surprised to see Sirius' face grinning back at him from it's relective surface.

"Like the new enchanted mirrors?" Sirius smirked at Remus. "You can congratulate me on my brilliance another time, look out your window! And hurry up!"

Surpressing a giant yawn, he leaned over towards the window to peer out onto the dimly lit grounds.

Remus' eyes widened with shock at the scene set before him.

It seemed the giant squid climbed out of the Hogwarts lake, dragged itself up to the castle, and was now emmiting strange humming noises.

Pressing his face up against the cool glass, Remus strained to make sense out of the noises.

"D'you reckon it's talking?" Peter asked, eyes wide with excitement. James heaved open his window, ducking out the opening for a better view.

The squid's humming got louder and more intense, until it finally managed to climb across the grounds and end up near the Astronomy Tower. Dramatically reaching out a great purple tentacle, the squid closed it's eyes and began to belt out a song.

After it's performance of "Love On", by British pop star Cliff Richards, the giant squid dedicated the song to Severus Snape, who had been lured to an adjacent window, getting a front-row seat to witness the horrors.

The giant squid dragged itself back into the lake.

Sirius, who was not actually hypothermic, almost fell out of the infirmary window laughing.


A/N: Oh dear god, such a short update. A thousand apologies. And I swear that the next will be longer. Honestly.
So pretty please, review?