FROM THE ASHES

Chapter 4

Two days later, Padme walked back into the hospital, not for any medical reason, only to see Anakin. She peeked around the corner of his room, and saw that he was much the same as he was when she left him. The droids had told her he had slept or had been sedated most of the time to promote and increase the healing process. They told her his burns were healing nicely, and there may not be many deep scars. His face was now uncovered, except for his eyes, and the burns there were improving rapidly with the bacta treatment. He was now off of the breathing machine for an hour at a time, but would be hooked back up at intervals during the day and all night. They thought he still may need lung surgery when he was stronger. She sat down next to his bed and spoke his name. "Anakin, I'm here."

"Padme!" He said, speaking rather normally. "I was hoping you'd come back."
"Do you really think think would desert you?" "Who wants a blind, crippled husband who can't breathe? I'm a burden to you now. I'm sorry."
"Anakin don't talk like that. You're going to get better, it will just take time."
"What if I don't?"
"Then I will love you and take care of you anyway."
"I don't want your pity. I don't want to hold you down more than a child."
"Anakin, I am hurt you would think that of me. If it were me lying here, you wouldn't feel that way about me, would you?"
"Of course not."
"And I don't feel that way about you. I LOVE you." She bent to kiss his lips. He smiled and tried to returned the kiss. She sat back down as he struggled to sit up.
"I bet I'm so ugly now, all these burns, and look what they've done to my hair!"
"The burns are healing well, your hair's not that bad." She smoothed back his short strands. "It's going to grow back, you know, you were very lucky that the fire didn't spread all over your head, or the roots would have been scarred and destroyed. It's only burned and cut, you haven't lost it. Your curls will be back in no time." He put his head down, saying something he had been fearing and avoiding.
"Haven't lost it, like I lost my eyes." He said, his head down. "You know Padme, I am not going to be able to see again. They want to ship me to a rehab center for the blind as soon as my limbs are healed."
"Did they tell you that?"
"They haven't the courage to tell me. I heard them talking. Once I am sent there, I want to stay there, with other blind beings. I don't want to burden you having to take care of me, I won't have it. You need to know that right now." Padme grabbed his replaced mechanical hand and used her other hand to gently turn his chin toward her.
"No more talk like that. You are going to see again and that's final. And, even if you don't, you are still coming home with me and our children. I love you, and I want you."
"You mean it, Padme?"
"Of course I do!"
"I'm sorry, Padme, about all of this. I deserve this, you know."
"What? How can you say that?"
"I deserve to be blind, to live out my life in the dark. I turned to the dark side, I caused darkness to happen to others, I hate myself. The wounds I have suffered are my punishment. I deserve it and I accept the sentence I have been given. I will never again live a normal life or enjoy anything and that is what I get. I am guilty and this is my sentence."
"Anakin, no more of this talk! Obiwan told me what happened, you were consumed and possessed by evil, by a man who fooled us all, especially me! But it wasn't you who committed those acts, it was the dark side! You have beaten that, and you must beat this too. You will get stronger and all your wounds will heal and you will come home to me as good as new to help me raise our babies!"
"Do you really want a blind guy watching your kids? I might let them fall off the veranda or something." Padme couldn't help but chuckle.
"Oh, Anakin, I love you. It's going to be okay, really."
"It makes me feel better to know you don't think I'm a terrible guy. What about Obiwan?"
"He feels exactly the same way I do, you should sense that. He's back on Coruscant, helping Yoda get the Temple back in order. There is a provisional government. You and I are going to be needed for important things."
"You, not me, I am useless now.""Anakin I am going to walk out of here right now if you don't stop."
"And you know I won't be able to follow you."
"I didn't mean that. Anakin Skywalker, I LOVE you. Never forget that."
She kissed him again. This time he reached up and held the back of her head in his hand as he kissed her back. He felt her hair, and brought his hand around to her face, gently running his fingers over her skin. "You still taste delicious. I wish I could see you. I'll never forget your beautiful face, Padme, it's burned into my memory, though I won't get to see it again with my eyes, I still have it saved in here." He pointed to his head. She was about to cry.
She patted the top of his head and kissed him again."I'll s--, I'll be back soon, my love. You make sure you get well."
"Goodbye, I love you."
"Love you, too." He listened until he heard the last of her footsteps fade in down the hallway, and the scent of her had vanished from the air beside him.

Yoda and Obiwan Kenobi walked through the devastated Jedi Temple. The bodies were buried, the funerals over, the mess cleaned up. The hurt and the damage remained. They both had a hard time believing Anakin had anything to do with it. They were convinced, as Padme had said, that it was not him, but the dark side using his body. Anakin in his right mind would never have done such things. Obiwan, fearing retribution on Anakin, erased all evidence of his involvemet in the rampage. He had suffered for it, he had repented, he had atoned as much as he could. He was full of regret and a sorrow that would never leave him. He was also maimed and would have to live the rest of his life in a damaged body, unable to see, or to breathe normally. The surviving Jedi had all returned and resumed their duties. The order was going to have to be rebuilt, just as the government would. Both would take time, and effort. Obiwan knew that he and Yoda must lead now, they were the council, all that survived. The fabricated Clone War was over, the Clones under control of the democracy friendly Provisional Government of the Galactic Republic. Little had or would change in the lives of most citizens of the galaxy, now that Palpatine/Lord Sidious was gone and would not infect his poisons on any planets, systems, beings or droids. Anakin Skywalker and Obi-wan Kenobi were to thank for that. They would now forever be remembered as heroes of the republic.

After another week of helping Master Yoda, Obiwan requested a few days' leave to go and visit Anakin. Yoda granted his wish, and he flew immediately to Naboo. He met Padme in a nearby resturant. "How are you doing?"
"I'm fine, the babies are fine, I've still got a month to go if I'm to carry them to full term. They can come at any time now, and they will probably be okay with all the medical care I'll have."
"That's wonderful, Padme. How's Anakin?"
She looked down and fiddled at her food with her fork. "They're discharging him tommorrow, that's why I wanted you here with me. It's not going to be easy. I hope you can help us, there will be a lot of adjustments."
"Why?"
"He's blind, Obiwan."
"Oh, no."
"I didn't want to believe it myself, but it's true. There is nothing else they can do for his eyes, and there is no change. They want to send him to a rehab center for the blind, and he wants to go. I think he wants to hide there, from you, from me, from all of us, from all the problems back home. I don't want him to go, what should I do?" Obiwan put his hands into fists and rested his chin on them, looking blankly into the distant wall. He tried to imagine Anakin that way, but it was hard. He was always so proud, so independant, so active, and powerful. This shook him hard.
"Is he healed, otherwise?"
"Not really.But they're putting him out, he can seek treatment outside. He's taking up a bed, and his life is not in danger anymore. Will you be there with me? He needs us both."
"Of course, Padme. We'll take him home with us, back to Coruscant."
"I think that will be good for him."

The next morning, Padme and Obiwan arrived at Anakin's bedside. There were new flowers on the table, a gift from Padme's family. She had told them everything, and they felt only caring and love for them both, but they didn't come to see him because Padme thought it might make him feel uncomfortable. There would be more time for that. There were droids on the other side of the bed, talking to him. Since Anakin couldn't see them and didn't seem to sense them, they just stood back and watched until the droids were finished. One of them was explaining to him how to use his breathing support machine, showing him how he could strap it across his chest and around his back to carry it around. He would have to have it in case he ran out of air, and would have to take sessions of breathing treatments several times a day. His wife and best friend got a lump in their throats at this. It got worse. One of the droids told him he should have his eyes 'capped', covered with a permanent patch. This would seal the eyes off forever, keeping out light, water, and everything else, but it would be imbedded in the skin and not removeable except by a doctor. They brought these patches to his bedside, and tried to put them on. Anakin resisted, pushing them away with both hands and objecting loudly. "You must have this done" the droid told him. "Your eyes will never be of any more use to you. You must accept this, here, let me..."
"NO!" Anakin swatted the droid away.
"The sooner you reconcile yourself to this, the better it will be for you. You are already registered at the rehabilitation center."
This is when Padme finally stepped forward. "What? You can't do that..."
Anakin's head jolted in the direction of her voice. "Padme, I didn't know you were here. I'm going to the rehab center, to stay. I told you, I will not be a burden to you, especially not with the babies coming. They already have my room waiting."
"Oh Anakin, please don't go!" She looked at his eyes, now uncovered. They were scarred with a thick cloudy white film where they should have been clear. The doctors weren't even treating them anymore. She was so shaken by this, she had to turn away. The droid noticed her reaction and said "this is why we should cap his eyes now. "May I proceed?" He stepped closer to Anakin with the patches.
Anakin sighed heavily and looked very distraught. "But, that's so.. final."
"Yes, it is," the droid said. "And it is already final, you might as well get on with it."
"No!" Padme spoke up. "He doesn't want those things, leave him alone! And he is NOT going to your center, he's coming home with me!"
"Padme, I can't.."
"Yes you can and you will!"
"And I am going to help her!" Obiwan spoke up.
Anakin's head raised in his direction. "Obiwan! How long have you been standing there? I wonder why I didn't sense your presence. Maybe I've lost that too."
"You're going through some rough times, Anakin. You will be all right."
The droid turned and left the room as Obiwan and Padme took Anakin by his arms and pulled him out of the bed. "Ow, my feet, they're still so sore from the burns." He complained as he stepped down. "I'm not going to have to have anything amputated, but they tell me I have some nasty scars on my arms and legs. Guess I won't be wearing any summer clothes, not that I ever did." He almost laughed.
"You're coming back to Coruscant with us, now, Anakin, even if I have to carry you on my back!" Obiwan ordered.
Anakin smiled at them. "I am in no position to fight either of you."
Padme smiled and kissed him. "I'll help you get dressed." His smile vanished. "I can do it myself!" he said in a loud voice, then, softer, "if you show me where the clothes are." He was so pitiful, Padme and Obiwan had ot contain their emotions.

At last they were ready to go, and they walked out of the hospital together, Anakin in the middle with his wife and brother on each side supporting him. The droids were very upset he had refused to be sent to their rehab center, and followed them out protesting. "No, no, that's the end of it." Padme said strongly. "He's my husband, he's going home with ME!" Anakin smiled again to feel so much love, and that they actually did want him, even in his condition.

They went to Padme's ship and loaded everything inside. "I'll have to come back for my starfighter later, I can get someone to drop me off. Anakin, I was taken back to Mustafar and brought your starfighter back to the temple too."
"You can give it to someone else, I won't be able to fly again." Obiwan was sorry he had even mentioned it.

When they returned to Coruscant, Obiwan parked on Padme's veranda and helped her get Anakin inside. He let go of Obiwan's arm and stood there in the center of the floor looking so lost. "I keep trying to remember where everything was. what everything looked like.." He slowly raising his hands in front of him, and tried to take few steps. He promptly tripped and fell down the small stairs where the room changed levels. Padme and Obiwan ran to help him. "No, go away!" he pushed his arms through the air. "I can do it, don't..." He tried to get up, but between his blindness and his injured feet, he was finding it impossible to do alone. They helped him to his feet, and tried to comfort him, but he turned away. They tell how upset he was, but he shut them out.

"Anakin, you know, you will be able to use the force to help in some ways with your handicap. I will take you to the temple, I will consult the archives, we can study with Yoda.."
Anakin cut him off. "I will never return to the temple! I can't!" Obiwan didn't even pursue this, he thought it best not to. He could sense much sadness and guilt in Anakin, but he would still like to hear it from his own mouth in time. "I'll be going now."
"Thank you, my brother."

He left Padme's ship and set out on foot for the temple. Padme took Anakin by the hand and helped him walk through the house. His feet still hurt so badly he couldn't go very fast. "We're home, my darling. You're safe now with me."
"Padme, I thought I was going to die. I should have died."
"No, you shouldn't, stop that! You did a great thing!" Anakin shook his head. He could not enjoy what he had achieved because of the guilt of what he had done on the dark side. He didn't want to talk about it now.

He tried his best to make it to the bed, but Padme had to help him. Once they were there, she helped him off with his breathing support and sat it next to the bed. Then she took off his shirt. She tried to hold any audible comment as she looked at the still raw red burn scars on his chest and arms. She applied some medicinal cream to them, over his chest, his shoulders, and all the way up the back of his neck. "Ah, that feels so good." He sighed. The burns on his face were healing better, but were still obvious. After she was done she pulled him over to cuddle with her and put the covers over them both.
"Does this hurt when I touch you?"
"Not so much now. I want you to touch me." They cuddled some more. He gently ran the fingers of his real hand over her face and through her hair, then down onto her chest. "I'm going to have to find new ways to see you."
His flesh hand caressed her face and body. She turned and put her arm around his chest, then put her head on his shoulder and started kissing up his neck until she reached his lips. "Mmmm" he muttered through the kiss. "That was good. Don't stop." She didn't want to stop, she wanted to make love to him. He was much better now that he was back home and in her arms."Do you still love me, Padme? Even all burned like this?"
"How could you even ask? Search my feelings, you will know it to be true."

Later, they lay in the bed, on their backs, still hugging each other. Anakin's face was directed to the glass skylight above. "Is it beautiful tonight, Padme? Tell me about it. You know I always loved to lay here and stare up at the sky, the stars, the ships passing by. I loved to watch them for the longest time. Now you'll have to do that for me. What do you see, tell me." She was saddened by this but tried to sound cheerful. "Well, I can't see many stars, there is too much of the city light tonight."
"I know it's like that from the veranda, but from above, the stars are better, please tell me you can see some, it'll be like I'm seeing them too."
She tried. "Oh, I do see some stars, and, oh, a shooting star!"
"Really? You aren't just saying that to make me happy?"
"No, it was, really"
"Are you sure it was a meteor and not some poor fool's crashing ship burning up coming through the atmosphere?"
She started to laugh, and he did too. "No, Anakin, it was a shooting star. Make a wish."
"Okay, I made one."
"What was it?"
"You know I can't tell you or it won't come true."
"Like your dreams? Anakin, are you still worried about the dreams?"
"Yes, that was what I wished for, I shouldn't say it."
"Anakin, I promise not to die in childbirth, all that's over now, the Chancellor is gone, it's all right now, I'm going to be fine."
He snuggled closer and put his head on her shoulder. "You'd better be."