FROM THE ASHES

Chapter 5

Padme awoke to the sounds of broken glass. She sat straight up in bed, thinking someone had busted through some of the glass windows. She turned on the light, but didn't see anything broken. She noticed that Anakin was not in the bed beside her and got up to go look for him. She found him in the kitchen, down on all fours on the floor, fumbling for and picking up pieces of a broken dish. She went to him, helped him to his feet and put her arm around him. "Careful, you'll cut yourself.What happened?"

"Since it's just the two of us here, I was going to try to set out some breakfast for you. I thought I could do it, I was wrong."

"Anakin, it's four in the morning!"

He turned away from her voice, a look of total despair on his face. "I thought it was daylight. But I guess I can't tell anymore. I used to at least be able to tell dark from light, now I can't even do that. Whatever they did to my eyes I don't think it helped, it hurt. I'm blinder now than I was when it first happened." His head hung down, and he failed in his attempts to hold back his deep sobs. "I can't get used to it, Padme. I never will. It's terrible. I hate this... endless dark."

Pained to hear this, she stared into his eyes, the clouded corneas over the once beautiful blue beneath. "I'm taking you to the med center today." She demanded.

"Oh, no, no more of that, I've had enough of being prodded by droids, being told bad news. Just let me stay here and hide, forever." She put her arms around his neck. "I want what's best for you, and that's to come to the best med center in the galaxy."

"Oh, I get it, you still hope I can be 'fixed', you don't want a blind, burned husband with bad lungs.."

She put her fingers over his mouth. "It's not like that at all! I told you I love you no matter what's wrong with you. But I love you enough to try to help you if there is a chance.."

"There isn't, they told me.."

"Let's give this center a try, please?"

"Oh, okay, I am helpless and at your mercy, you and Obiwan can drag me around on a chain.."

"Anakin stop that! But I will use a chain if it's the only way I can take you there. It's too early now, come, let's go back to bed."

"Yes, my master, I submit myself to your will, my master." He mumbled, and she couldn't help but laugh.

Later that day, she and Obiwan took Anakin to the largest med center on Coruscant. The droids then applied their own brand of treatment to all of his burns. Next, they examined his lungs. "The burns have left scars in there, too, would you mind trying a new kind of treatment for your lungs? It is quite uncomfortable."

Anakin was agreeable. "Not as uncomfortable as having to carry around that monstrosity they gave me at the other place, or the horrible breathing exercizes I have to do when I use it."

The specialists at the Coruscant medical center were upset Anakin had not been brought there first. Obiwan had intended to go there, but went to Naboo in fear of trouble at home that turned out not to be a threat after all.. The specialist droid looked into Anakin's eyes and shook his head metal head on his narrow pole of a neck. "There is so much scarring, if we had gotten to him immediately, he'd be healed, but now, I am afraid it's too late." Anakin was devastated by this, as were Obiwan and Padme. The hospital on Naboo had done the wrong thing, and now the chance to save his sight was gone.

Anakin couldn't stop the tears from coming. "You're telling me, I could have been healed, but now, there's nothing you can do?"

"I am sorry Master Skywalker. I can try to give you our special treatment and see if the scarring clears up any, but once it's this far gone, it's usually too late."

"Try it anyway!" Padme insisted.

"No, Padme, I can't take the disappointment again.."

"It might work, Anakin, you have to give it a chance!"

Anakin silently consented. The droid leaned him back in the chair and treated his eyes with their own formula, and then rebandaged them. Sitting back up, Anakin asked "how long will it be before, we..know?"

"At least a week, Then we will see if there is any improvement. Perhaps he should stay here awhile, for more intensive treatment. You didn't recieve the best care possible at the hospital on Naboo. There are things we can do for your body as well as your eyes."

"Oh no, not again"

"It's for your own good. There's a chance for real improvement here." Padme pleaded. They all agreed, and Anakin was left at the center.

As she left the medical center, her temper began to flare as she spoke to Obiwan. Padme was furious! "That hospital on Naboo was a disgrace, I must speak with the Queen and the ministers about investigating it. I thought my home planet was known for its fine medical care, but something is wrong there."

"I feel bad myself, it was my decision not to take him to Coruscant first. If only I'd known.."

"Don't blame yourself, Obiwan. If only we'd ALL known a lot of things, none of this would have happened. I can't bear to think of all the death and destruction Palpatine caused with his phoney war! And all of us in the government were so fooled, I can't believe it!"

"How do you think it feels to be a Jedi? We had the force, we should have sensed it even if you all in the Senate didn't figure it out! Palpatine was a Sith Lord, a force sensitive, do you know how bad it was that we didn't even guess it was him? Yoda and I are so ashamed, and the grief over the loss of the other Jedi is enormous."

"I think that's a lot of Anakin's problem, Obiwan, why he won't go back to the temple. He has so much to deal with, his own personal injuries, and the heavy weight of the things he did."

"Padme, that was not Anakin, we all agree, how can he still blame himself, even after he redeemed himself and fulfilled the prophecy?"

"He does, and it's going to take more time to heal than anything physical, I'm afraid."

Padme and Obiwan visited Anakin every night that week. Padme missed him at home, but wanted him to get the treatment he deserved. After the a week was up, his lung capacity had improved so much, he was taken off his respirator and told he would no longer need it unless perhaps if he got some type of infection. Some of the damaged air sacks were coming back, and most of the blackened tissue inside his lungs was pink again. He wondered if he'd ever have the stamina he once had, but of course, being blind he wasn't going to be as active. The new treatment for his eyes, given three times a day while he was there, had reduced the scarring some, but he still couldn't see out of either one of his eyes. He was heartsick to know that his eyes could have been cured if only he'd gotten to this medical center first. Now it was too late.

Before he left the center, he was given one last intensive dose of the formula in his eyes and they were bandaged one more time. "Come back in 10 days" they told him."If there is any improvement, we will continue, but if there isn't, we will discontinue the treatment." Anakin's heart raced. This was the absolute last chance for his eyes, he tried not to be encouraged knowing the chance of success was small. The burns on his body were almost gone! The formula given him in Coruscant had healed them, they were only now slightly lighter spots on his skin, and that would eventually fade as the new layers of his skin grew. His feet no longer hurt when he walked. He was feeling much healthier as he walked arm in arm with Padme and Obiwan out of this med center than he had when he left the one on Naboo. The breathing device they gave him was in a case carried with his other belongings, he was not wearing it, and did not need to depend on it anymore. This was a big relief to all of them.

"What you say we go to Dex's to celebrate?" Obiwan offered.

"You're paying, right?" Padme laughed.

"Of course."

"No, I don't want to go. Just take me home, give me a snack. I have no appetite." Anakin refused.

Padme and Obiwan exchanged concerned looks. They had so hoped being taken off the respirator and having his scars healing would cheer him up. He only wanted to go home and close the door and stay away from everybody. They respected his wishes. "Well, okay, Anakin." Obiwan said. "How about I go get your favorite special and bring it to you?"

"That would be great, thanks, brother." This proved it to Obiwan and Padme. It wasn't that he didn't want the food, he didn't want to be at the diner, he didn't want to be around anyone. They took him home, and he sat on the couch alone. "I'm so bored." He complained as they waited for Obiwan to return with the food. "I never realized it before, but everything I like to do involves something visual. I can't see so I can't really do anything."

"Anakin don't feel that way. I can think of at least one thing you like to do that doesn't require seeing." She said as she sat down next to him, nibbling on his ear and giggling.

"You naughty girl." He laughed, then he sighed miserably.. "But even that is better when I can see you."

"Then why did you always want to turn the lights off?"

"I thought it was you who turned the lights off." They both laughed, and she hugged him, running her hands through his hair and down to the back his neck. The burns on it from where his hair had caught fire were now totally gone, and a few little curls were beginning to grow out from where his hair had been burned and cut short in the back. She smoothed them down and kissed the bare nape of his neck. It sent a tingle down his spine, and he sighed with pleasure. He reached out his flesh hand until he felt it touch the side of her face. He managed to find her mouth in his darkness, and they kissed passionately as they began to fondle each other with their hands. Spoiling the moment,.Obiwan came to the door, and Padme got up and let him in. They led Anakin to the table and put his hands on his food in front of him, showing him where each part of his meal was located. He didn't have much trouble eating it after that, but he didn't talk much.

"Anakin, what's troubling you?"

"Obiwan, do you even need to ask? Isn't it obvious?"

"I mean other than your medical problems."

"I thought that was obvious too. You know how I feel about,you know, what happened." He turned his face away from the direction of Obiwan's voice. Even though he couldn't look him in the eye, thinking of what happened at the temple that night made him too ashamed to face his master in any form.

"Anakin, we need you back at the temple. Not many survive who still know the ways of the force."

"And whose fault is that? Look, Obiwan, I can't, I am not worthy to walk back into that temple..."

"I think it would do you a lot of good, kind of another way to heal..."

If Anakin could have used his eyes, he'd have given him a dirty look. But since he was blind and they were covered, a cold voice tone would have to do. "I can't do it, I'm sorry. Not now."

"Ever?"

"Leave me alone, please!" Anakin shouted. He got up and tried to storm out of the room, knocking into things along the way. Obiwan walked over and helped him steady himself. Anakin looked very embarrassed. He'd always been so sure on his feet. After all his great moves and heroics, how sad he can come to this, not even being able to navigate his own kitchen.

"Anakin there are things we can explore to help you use the force to compensate for your blindness, we have full access to the archives, we can explore all the things we wanted to know all our lives.."

"I can't do it, Obiwan, I can't go back to the temple. Please try to understand. But, oh, thanks for dinner." He managed a false sarcastic smile.Obiwan was glad to see a bit of the old Anakin was still in there somewhere.

Obiwan patted him on the shoulder. "I'll see you later, my friend." He said as he left.

Anakin stayed huddled inside the apartment the next few days while Padme was in discussions with other Senate members about the direction of the government. Sulking, he lay in the bed or on the couch, not even going out on the veranda. Why bother, he couldn't see anything, couldn't enjoy anything. It was just too dark. He was literally wallowing in self pity. He couldn't rid himself of his depression, or his immense guilt.

This bad mood was broken three nights later as Padme's labor pains began. Now his focus of concern went from himself to his wife.Anakin was terrified for her because of the dreams, but he didn't want to say anything to her to frighten her. He tried to put such thoughts out of his mind, but couldn't. Though the dream had not come since he and Obiwan and killed Palpatine, he could still see its image in his mind. Threepio was back, and he frantically managed to get them to the medical center. Padme insisted on calling Obiwan: he had asked to be told when the time came. This bothered Anakin greatly, since Obiwan had been in the dream. Anakin stayed with Padme awhile, holding her hand, flinching at each jolt of her body or cry of pain..When Obiwan arrived, he took Anakin outside in the hallway to talk.

"Obiwan, this is it, she's having the baby just like in my dream! What if...no, I can't lose her."

"You aren't going to lose her! Those dreams you told me about were most likely only a manifestation of Palpatine's plan, it's over now. Oh Anakin, if you had told me sooner, things would not have gotten so far gone!"

"I know that, and I am sorry, I suffer for my mistakes every day. I feel I deserved to be injured, and I am not worthy of being healed. My eyes being ruined were a message, I was meant to live in the dark because of the pain I caused so many with the dark side."

"Anakin don't say that, you didn't deserve to be hurt, you were very brave to do what you did on Mustafar. Do you realize you destroyed the Sith blind? And injured in so many places?"

"You helped a lot, you know."

"You told me when to push him, if you hadn't sent that message, I don't know what I've had done next. Anakin, you fulfilled the prophecy! You are a hero!"

"Do you really think I am redeemed?"

"Yes, Anakin, I do. Yoda does. I only wish you could forgive yourself."

"Well now that I have fulfilled my destiny, I am useless, you don't need me."

"Are you going to waste you life away doing nothing?"

"I might."

They were called back in by a medical droid. "The time has come." Obiwan put his arm around Anakin's shoulder and let him toward Padme.

They entered her birthing room to sounds of her cries. "Padme, are you all right?" Anakin asked in panic.

"It's just labor pains, all women holler out." She said through heavy breaths. Obiwan led him to her side, and she held his real hand, squeezing it harder and harder as the pains came. He couldn't see the expression on her face, but he could sense her pain. His heart sped up with fear and concern.

"Padme, you have to be all right, please."

One of the droids spoke out. "There is nothing out of the ordinary wrong with your wife. Do not be so concerned."

"Obiwan, go, get out of here!"

"Why?"

"You were in my dream, so if you're here..." Obiwan rolled his eyes and started to walk away, he didn't want to be to blame if anything went wrong.

Padme was a bit upset. "Anakin, that wasn't nice. He's our friend, he's helped us a lot, he should be here."

"Padme, it was he who stood over you in the dream."

"And it is you who stand over me now. The curse is broken. That alone changes things, besides the fact that Palpatine is gone."

He smiled and felt a bit relieved. He felt his way to the door opening, then called Obiwan back. "Come back, it's all right. But don't stand over her like in my dream." Obiwan understood, and complied. The pains came closer and closer. After one long scream, her voice settled into a panting sound and was joined by the sound of a baby's first cry.

"It's a boy!" The droid announced.

Anakin panted heavily, too, and held Padme's hand; "We have a son, Padme! Are you all right?"

"Yes, but.."

"But what?"

"Ahhhhh!" she screamed again, throwing Anakin into fear and panic, until he heard the second baby arrive with a healthy cry.

"It's a girl." The droid informed them."Twins!"

Anakin felt Padme's hand, and her pulse, then bent to kiss her. "Padme, are you alive?"

"Yes, Anakin, it's all right! The childbirth is over, and I'm not dead, I'm just fine!" She started laughing, and so did he, and Obiwan came over and joined them. It was okay now. They all stood laughing and cheering in relief and joy.

Now the attention turned to the babies. The droids examined them, cleaned them, then brought them both over to show Padme. "They're beautiful, Anakin!" she cried. They put one baby on each of her arms.

"I wish I could see them. Obiwan, please, can you show me my children?"

"It will be an honor, my brother!" Obiwan stared at the children, then sent the image telepathicatly to Anakin, who received it in full living color.

"I see them, Obiwan, you did it! I could see it in my head! Now can you show me Padme too?" Obiwan looked at Padme and the babies again and again sent the entire mental images to Anakin through force telepathy. "I saw it all in my mind, Obiwan, thank you." The two Jedi brothers embraced. Then Anakin turned to Padme. He softly touched each one of his children, their faces, their perfect little fingers and toes. Anakin was so happy, his children were born, his wife was still alive, and Obiwan had showed him what they looked like. He couldn't help it, tears began to trickle from beneath the bandage over his eyes. He tried to stop it, knowing the medicine had to stay in there. Even his cursed darkness couldn't spoil this moment. He bent down and hugged Padme, and kissed her. Obiwan told the droids to make sure there were pictures taken of the special moment After awhile, the babies had to be moved to their bassinets, and Padme needed to rest. Obiwan told Anakin they'd better leave them now. He held her hand, and wished he could have looked into her eyes. He felt her love and life strongly through the force. "Padme, please tell me if I go you won't die."

"I promise, I'm fine, it's all going to be all right now darling!" They kissed one last time, and Obiwan took Anakin back to the apartment. He asked him to stay with him so he wouldn't be alone, and he was glad to help. Obiwan stayed on the couch, and Anakin slept very peacefully in Padme's bed, knowing the desperate fear was over, the nightmare had not come to pass.