Title: Is It Really You?
Summary: A long-lost love returns from the grave and secrets are revealed. Will Martin risk everything to get her back after she leaves him again?
Rating: T for DEATH! There are character deaths in this chapter!
RAN: This chapter looked really cool when I typed it, I put a lot of effort into it, but it got all messed up when I uploaded it, so I'm really sorry if it doesn't look quite right.In this chapter, the italics are the song lyrics, except for the quote from Harry Potter. Regular font is the actual fic.
PP: Heeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee!
FF: Us fans want an explanation. (dressed in black)
TT: For what?
FF: The evil laugh. (putting on black lipstick)
TT: She's insane. Plus, she can't quite understand how she could write this chapter.
PP: Heeheeheeheehee!
FF: What? (dying hair black)
TT: Read it and you'll find out.
PP: I AM THE INSANELY EVIL AUTHOURESS!
TT: Maybe we should just let the readers read it and decide how evil you are.
FF: But remember this is only ending #1. The other endings aren't attached to this in anyway, sorta. (puts eye makeup on)
PP: No, they're all separate endings, but they are all connected to Chapter 14, some indirectly though. XD
FF: A clue to the surprise ending. And the moment with lights and lasers that we have all been waiting for is coming soon! (puts on black veil) WARNING, there are character deaths in this chapter! PP & TT do not own anything belonging to Marathon, or the song "What Hurts The Most", which is by Rascal Flatts, but everything else is theirs. (glues lips together in vow of silence)
PP & TT: (I wonder if she'll regret that?)
Chapter 15A: What Hurts The Most
"For certain is death for the born
And certain is birth for the dead;
Therefore over the inevitable
Thou shouldst not grieve." Bhagavad Gita
Rain…
It's raining again.
I hate the rain.
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
It was raining the day M.O.M. came to the school to tell me about your death, you know that?
Then the sun seemed to be mocking me the day we spread your ashes.
My mom once told me that the rain was actually angels crying.
I know the angels would cry for you, so that explains why it rained again today.
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
It's still hard to believe you're actually gone.
It seems like just yesterday we were sitting by the fountain, joking and laughing away.
I haven't laughed or smiled since you left.
Without you here, there's no reason for me to.
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
Everyone's been continuously asking me how I'm doing, especially today, it being your funeral.
I just pretend I'm ok when there are people around.
It's when I'm alone that the tears fall.
I just can't help but think about that day.
But that's not what gets me
(Flashback)
Lilac feathers surrounded him as she fell backwards into his arms.
The blast had used the last of Daniel's energy, so he was gone now.
She weakly smiled up at him, the blood from the hole in her chest pooling beneath her.
What hurts the most
Was being so close
There were so many things he wanted to say to her, that he had to say to her, but they all formed a useless jumble in his mind.
Instead, he asked her one single question.
"Why?'
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
"I couldn't stand back and do nothing, knowing that I was about to lose the man I love.
You saved my life more times than I can count.
It was my turn to save yours."
"You said it was all over.
We could have finally been together.
Why did this have to happen now?"
And never knowing
What could have been
"Life doesn't always go the way we want it to Martin.
I'm sorry that there isn't a happily ever after ending for us.
I just don't want anyone to grieve for me for too long."
"Don't talk like that.
You're not going to leave me Rachel.
We're going to save you."
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do
"I'm sorry Martin.
I have to go.
I just want you to remember that I did this because I loved you, but you have to move on."
She closed her eyes, a peaceful smile on her face.
The tears began freely flowing down his face.
"No, Rachel.
Rachel, wake up, please."
Her eyes remained closed, her breathing stopped.
He lowered his eyes, the tears completely blinding him.
"I'm so sorry I couldn't save you.
I just want you to know that…
I forgive you."
(End Flashback)
Everywhere I look now, I can see you.
You're standing in the hall when I'm walking to class, waving at me.
You're sitting on my bed, helping me with my homework.
It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' it
Diana and Java have been with me just about every minute since you left.
They're always expecting a smile out of me.
It's actually beginning to hurt to smile.
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder
That's why I snuck into your old room today.
I had to get away from them.
From all of them.
They all just make me remember that if it wasn't for me, you'd still be here.
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I wish I could go back in time and do it all over again.
Maybe I'd pick up on the signs then, because you knew this was going to happen.
I know that because I picked up your Harry Potter book and opened it to the bookmark.
You had one of Professor Dumbledore's lines highlighted.
"After all, to the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure."
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
I feel so close to you in here Rachel.
Maybe that's why I chose your room to finish this.
What hurts the most
Was being so close
None of them noticed how quiet I was today at the funeral.
They all just thought that it was because of where we were.
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
How were they supposed to know about the knife I had hiding in my pocket?
How were they supposed to know that I would never recover from watching your blood pool beneath you?
And never knowing
What could have been
I wrote them all a note, explaining everything, but I still don't think they'll understand.
I don't expect them to understand why this knife is pressed against my wrist.
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do
I'll be there soon Rachel.
We'll be together forever soon.
"Martin? Martin, are you in there?"
Diana pounded on the door to Rachel's old room, not knowing where else he could have gone. After they had gotten back to Torrington he had disappeared, without saying a word. Come to think of it, he hadn't said a word all day, but it could have just been because of the situation they were in.
She tried opening the door and found it unlocked. That was strange, because the school had only given keys to M.O.M. and… Martin. She threw the door open and screamed.
Martin was lying on the carpet, still in his suit, soaked in his own blood. His sleeves were rolled back to reveal the gashes in his wrists. She rushed to his side, desperately searching for a pulse, as other students began filling the doorway, drawn by her scream. She just barely realized they were there. There's no pulse…
She sat back, lost as to what to do next. They had all known that he blamed himself for Rachel's death, and still hadn't gotten over the shock of having her die in his arms, no matter how much he pretended he was fine. No one could have guessed that he would go this far though, could they? Had the signs all been there, but everyone was ignoring them?
A speck of white caught her eye, and she snatched it before anyone else saw it, tucking it away in her pocket. Then she let one of her friends help her back to her room.
(Later at the Center)
M.O.M. sat behind her desk, reeling from the news Diana had just brought her. On the same day she buried her daughter, one of her best agents committed suicide. He hadn't just been an agent to her though. She would never admit it, but she loved when he made a mess out of her office. Cleaning it up always made her feel like a mother again, cleaning up after one of Rachel's tantrums. She had actually begun thinking of him as a son-in-law.
"Was there a note or anything explaining why he did it?"
"Well, I did find this. I haven't read it yet though, so I don't know what it is."
Diana pulled the sheet of paper she had found earlier out of her pocket, handing it over to M.O.M. She unfolded it with shaky hands.
"Hey guys,
By the time you read this, I'll hopefully be long gone. I'm sorry I have to go like this, but I just can't do it anymore. Just getting out of bed in the morning has become too much for me. It makes me remember the times when she'd come over to my house early in the morning just to wake me up earlier than I wanted her to. I can see her everywhere I go, like a constant reminder that, in the end, I failed her. After everything I did, she died anyways. You guys all expect me to smile and move on. I can't. What you don't see is the blood that stains my hands, her blood. You saw the entire scene when you found me, drawn by that light that half the world must have seen. She died there in my arms, her blood pooling beneath her body. It covered me, and I've never been able to wash a single drop of it off. I can always see it. She told me not to grieve for long, and I wish I could have been strong enough to grant her that last request, but losing her again, like that, it left me feeling so weak, so vulnerable. I'm tired of being strong, like everyone told me to be. Even as I finish writing this, I can see Rachel standing in front of me. She's telling me that it's ok. She knows that I did my best, but I just can't be strong anymore. Oh, hey M.O.M., she wants you to know that no matter what problems you had in the past, the arguments you had, or the distance between you, she always loved you. She's telling me that it's time to go, so I better wrap this up. I just want you to know that I always loved all of you, all for different reasons. Just know that I'll finally be truly happy where I'm going. I'll finally be with her, together forever.
Martin"
M.O.M. looked up from the letter, having finished reading it to Diana, and caught a glimpse of something in the corner of her eye. She turned to look at it confused, and her breath caught in her throat.
Martin and Rachel were dancing, whirling each other around, smiles on their faces. They stopped, holding each other close, smiling at M.O.M. and Diana. The looks on their faces said more than any words could ever hope to. They were finally together, and nothing would ever pull them apart again. She finally understood why Martin did it.
They nodded; glad that she could finally see it. She blinked, and they were gone, having never really been there. A single tear ran down her face, but it wasn't one of pain or sorrow. It was of happiness, for her daughter had finally found her ultimate peace, in the arms of that one special man who had given up everything to be with her, and only her, until the end of time.
FF: Well, they are happy. OUCH!
Martin: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?
Rachel: That was a bit depressing and tragic, don't you think?
PP: (laughing crazily, on the verge of tears)
TT: She knows it was depressing, but she can't quite understand what she did.
FF: Hello, in pain here!
Rachel: Oh my, what happened?
Martin: THAT'S what I'd like to know!
TT: Well, when the glue came off, it sorta hurt.
Martin: Not her, the story!
FF: FINE! I took you out of the room, I can put you back in it. (knocks Martin out, drags him off, wincing in pain the whole way)
PP & Rachel: MY MARTY! (run after FrenchFry)
TT: Well, I guess that's it. Next up, the surprise ending! Let me warn you, this isn't a "Surprise! Happy Birthday!" type of ending. It's nothing like this ending was either though. Well, see you later!
FF: Bwahahahahahaha! You'll never find him… until surprise ending that is! Bwahahahahaha! Grrrrrrrrr…