FROM THE ASHES
Chapter 15
Anakin woke up for yet another morning in the Jedi temple. He got up and started packing his things. He had made up his mind, it was time to go. He would never belong here again, he couldn't face what had happened because of him. He wasn't blind or injured anymore. He still wore the knee brace and would until it was totally strong again, but he had his freedom back to walk away and do what he pleased with his life. It was the only way he could move on. He'd have to bury his past here and start anew. Hearing him awake and about, Obiwan entered the room. "Anakin, what do you think you're doing?"
"I'm leaving, Obiwan. There's nothing for me here now. I am not a part of the Jedi, I have no wife and children who love me. I have no friends. I'm all better now, it's time for me to move on."
"Where will you go? You weren't serious about going back to Tatooine and becoming a gambler."
"If it works."
"Anakin, please, think about this."
"I have, Obiwan, all night, for many sleepless nights. This place haunts me. The temple, the entire city. I have to go."
Obiwan saw his mind was made up and sighed heavily. "I will certainly miss you. You were like my brother. I love you."
Anakin was touched. "You still do care about me, don't you? I appreciate it. No one else does." Anakin turned his face back into his packed goods. Obiwan could see his heart was broken and that he was still suffering from the emotional scars of his rampage under Palpatine's domination, as well as his breakup with Padme.
"Anakin, please don't go lose yourself out there, you have to stay in contact with me."
"I will catch up with you from time to time but I don't want to keep in constant contact. I must start a new life." Obiwan was sad, too. He had been with Anakin so long. "I will miss you, my brother."
"You have Tal, he will be your new brother."
"Nothing can ever replace you, Anakin."
"You are a good person, Obiwan. I'll give you this much, you tried. I, uh, love...you too." They gave each other brief smiles and looks. It was uncomfortable for them to admit this attachment to other, but it was there. They were like family, closer than most brothers, they had been together through so much for so long. Being apart was going to hurt them both, but Anakin's mind was made up.
"Don't you want your lightsaber? You might need it "
"Those are for Jedi." Anakin shook his head sadly."You know, Obiwan,the worst part is I can't help thinking how it was all for nothing. I sacrificed everything and did the wrong thing to save Padme, yet I lost her anyway because of what I did to try to save her. Ironic, isn't it?" Obiwan knew this to be true, but made no comment.
Obiwan went of course to consult Yoda, but the ancient master only closed his eyes and lowered his head, declaring Anakin must choose his own path.He was able to see and walk now, and could no longer be held against his will. Yoda felt that he must be free to go, but that his path was going to lead him back. Obiwan hoped that was true. He went to the back door to say goodbye to Anakin. "Well, this is it." Anakin said with a heavy sigh, looking around. "I'm gone."
"How will you get about? Shall I ask Master Yoda if you can have your old starfighter back?"
"No, I shouldn't be using a Jedi vehicle. Besides, I don't think I can fly again, after that night.."
"Anakin, are you also traumatized of flying? You loved to fly!"
"Not anymore, I changed my mind. I can't deal with it. I'm going to catch a transport to Tatooine. From there, if I can't afford a speeder, I can use an animal and get around on its back."
"Anakin, I can't believe this! You, a desert nomad, on the back of a beast? I can't imagine it. The best star pilot in the galaxy is afraid to fly?"
"It is the way things are, Obiwan. Let me go. I promise I will see you again."
"You'd better." With that, Anakin turned his back on the temple and disappeared into the crowds of the city, carrying his cloak filled with his few belongings.
Padme was raging. She had always been the calm one, the one who stood up for negotiations, but this was personal, and it had crossed the line. These negotiations were going to be more than agressive! She couldn't waste any time bringing a motion before the Senate or even consulting local Naboo authorities. They could help her search but they weren't going to stop it. What had happened here was an outrage, and Padme wasn't going to stand for it. She was half dazed with her anger as she found her old blaster, hid it in her velvet overdressings and headed out the door with great determination. "Father, you will be avenged. Mother, Luke, Leia, I will find you." She spoke out loud.
"Perhaps you would like to join them?" Came a voice from behind as she was grabbed from behind, her head covered by a black bag, a hand firmly over her mouth. "I have been waiting for you, Senator Amidala. You have destroyed my business and my life, when they investigated the hospitals, they found out about my entire syndicate and shut me down! You ruined me and I will have my revenge!" Now Padme regretted not calling the police. She didn't know that Gerapaline or any of his cronies were still in the area, but they had set a trap for her, and in her emotional and rage clouded judgement, it had succeeded.
Kicking and fighting the whole time, but bound so tightly she couldn't reach her smuggled blaster, Padme was tossed into a vehicle and she felt it rise into the sky. The only bright side she could imagine is that now she would be taken to the place where her mother and children were being held, and from there, she could devise an escape plan.IF they were still alive. IF she herself were to survive. One more thought crossed her troubled mind, one she didn't want to admit, but it was there: I sure wish Anakin was here.
Anakin secured transport to Tatooine in exchange for work on a frieghter along the way. This was a humbling experience for him, he wasn't an employee, he was a beggar. He felt like a slave again. A slave. Looking out at the sunburned sands of Tatooine, he wondered why he had even come here. He was traumatized by the temple, and even Coruscant, but this was not all that cheery for him either. His life here had not been happy, his mother had died here, he had slaughtered the sandpeople. Many emotions swirled in him, and he regretted this destination. He only came back here because it was so familiar, and he didn't know what else to do. He would stay only in Mos Eisley, never venturing to the places where those other haunting events had occured.
Anakin had to gamble a round at the cantina to gain enough money for a night's lodging. He had used mind tricks on the other players, but he felt no guilt for this. They were all scum, they had stolen from others, so it was all right to take from them. Or was it? Was he headed down the wrong path again? He couldn't deal with this right now. More than once during that evening, he was propositioned by women who had offered to take him home. He was handsome, by far the best looking thing in the cantina, but he wasn't prepared for more emotional baggage. He turned them down. It was late into the night when he stumbled to his room at the lodge. Not even bothering to pull the covers over himself, he lay flat on the bed as everything he was running from weighed heavily on his mind. He could run, but he couldn't hide. His body could run away, but that didn't make his problems fade. He fell into a much less than peaceful sleep.
The story of the tragedy on Naboo had finally reached the holonet news in Coruscant. Obiwan, sitting in Dex's trying not to feel lonesome, saw the report and sprung to his feet. Poor Padme, he had to go to her and try to help. A sudden empty feeling hit him in the stomach as he realized she and the babies could be literally anywhere in the galaxy, and there were no leads. He could try to sense the babies through their tiny force presences, but would that be enough? He needed Anakin, and Anakin would want to know. Perhaps this would get him out of his depression. Obiwan had to find Anakin, it was too important now. Obiwan tried to keep his mind and feelings clear, but it was hard. This was no ordinary mission. It was all too close to him.
Anakin's sleep did not last long, it was interrupted by more disturbing visions in a nightmare. He heard Padme's voice calling, and the babies crying. He sensed great danger. He sat straight up from his cot, his heart beating out of his chest, his face in a sweat. He grabbed his head with both hands. "Not again." He mumbled to himself. He knew to believe in and fear his dreams. In all the time since Mustafar, when he had been bedridden for one reason or another, he'd had many unsettling dreams, but they were not like this one. They were only dreams, only his mind playing back things he'd rather avoid, or playing on his fears. This one was different. This one was strong, it had that feeling, it was a vision like his previous visions about Padme and his mother. Those had led him to do things he was now suffering for. He didn't want that to happen again, though he could not ignore this. No matter what he and Padme felt for each other now, he had to save her. Most of all, he had to save the babies. But how? Here he was all alone with no transportation.
Stepping outside into the night, he gazed up at the stars in the direction of Naboo. Is that where you are? Are you still alive? He tried to feel her and the babies through the force. His eyes then scanned the stars again, seeking out the constellation that he had seen so many times, the one that included the glowing Coruscant. He had to find a way back, back there, back from the brink. Anakin needed not only means of travel, but all his courage, his strength, his willpower, and everything else inside of him he had lost along the way.