Disclaimers: Seventh verse, same as the first...

Notes:So I meant to get this out in June, but my computer crashed and I was supposed to get it backthe forth. I got it back a week ago. Grr...The only thing I have to say nowis... I got a beta! All complaints go straight to tarnishedgold! Just kidding. :)

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Reflections

By Sean Montgomery

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The sun shone brightly on the waterfall, highlighting every streak that rushed to the river below. It looked cool in the heat of the day, the sun bearing down on the two figures who sat on the small ridge. It was irritating, the thought that Hiko refused to say anything until Kenshin started the conversation, but then again, it was the one thing the former manslayer knew to expect. The silence drifted on, maddeningly loud despite the rush of water behind them. Kenshin looked over the rim of his sake cup and stared at Hiko, who seemed content to sit and allow time to pass by. Any feelings of irritation were pushed down and replaced with respect. Kenshin cleared his throat.

"Master, I-"

"You really are an idiot."

Kenshin could feel the sweatdrop form on his head. Hiko wasn't going to give any ground, was he? "That's not fair, that it isn't."

"Then define to me what 'fair' is."

"Allowing me a moment to speak would be fair."

"Does that require my listening?"

Kenshin blinked. "Of course..."

"Then why haven't you given Kenji that privilege?"

"To listen?"

Hiko opened his eyes and stared at his pupil over his sake cup. "Baka deshi."

Kenshin sighed, his head drooping. "I believe it would be smart to just tell me what you're saying, that it would."

"That's too easy." Hiko set his cup next to the jug sitting by his feet, crossing his arms over his broad chest. "My saying it wouldn't require any thought on your part. You must understand your own situation before I can help you at all."

The irritation quickly returned. "I would like to know why you told Kenji the things you did."

"About how to fight? Simple. He told me that you refused to teach him and he asked me instead. I said yes."

"I know that, Master. Although, what I really would like to know is why you told him about my past."

The atmosphere noticeably thickened. Hiko took another drink and shook his head, meeting Kenshin's gaze. "So that's why you're here." Eyes closed, he paused, obviously plotting something in his head. "I should have known. What do you need to know?"

"I came to understand your reasoning for telling my son-"

"I know that, baka. I want to know why you're here with me instead of with your son telling him the things you so obviously desire to tell him."

Kenshin sighed. "You aren't going to make this easy on me, are you?"

"Things in life aren't easy, Kenshin. At your age, you should know that by now." Hiko took another drink, smacking his lips. "How's your wife?"

"Kaoru? She's fine. What does that have to do with-"

"Are you expecting another child anytime?"

Another sweatdrop formed on Kenshin's head. Why do people keep asking me that? "No, Master. Not anytime soon, anyway."

"Good. That means I only need to deal with one of your children. After all, if the others end up like Kenji, you might as well move to Kyoto. You all are going to need counseling at one point or another."

"That's a little uncalled for, that it is."

"It's true, isn't it? The way you tiptoe around people and what they want to know hasn't changed at all. I have proof in your son."

Kenshin stared at his sake cup, running his fingers along the edges. "I was hoping to tell Kenji later on in his life. I would have told him eventually."

"When? On your deathbed? He's a man now, Kenshin. He deserves to know."

"And he will know. I've come to settle things now."

"But only because someone got to him first." Hiko shook his head. "Your pride disgusts me."

"Pride? The desire to protect my son from what I was - you call that pride?"

"Selfish pride. You're so caught up in who you are and your past that you refuse to give him the one thing that he wants. Kaoru knows, doesn't she? About who you where? Your relationship with Tomoe?"

Kenshin's brow burrowed. "Of course she knows."

"Why?"

"Because when Enishi attacked they-"

"Not they, Kenshin. Why does Kaoru know?"

Kenshin paused, his reasoning coming back to him, confusion setting in where confidence once was. "I was already planning to court her then. It was difficult to tell her, but she needed to know the full extent of who I was."

"Because?"

Kenshin closed his eyes. "Because I already loved her."

"Don't you understand, baka deshi? Kenji is in exactly the same position. While growing up, a boy needs to understand who he is following. If the father is the example, then he will follow, but if the father is distant the boy will refuse to make amends until it's too late."

"Are you saying Kenji should have been afraid of me when he was a boy?"

"Did you give him any indication of who you were?"

Memories flashed into his mind, each one as delightful, and painful, as the last. Kenji as a young boy, asking for one more story, for one more game before bed. Kenji as a young man, bursting into the dojo, demanding to know where his father was and ready to put accusations where they belonged. The boy who asked if desert was a part of dinner was the boy who had grown into a bitter man.

His laughing voice. "I want dessert."

The rage in his eyes. "You're a liar! You've lied to me this entire time!"

Laughter. "You fell over!"

Anger. "You're not the man my mother thinks you are!"

"Story, Otou-san?"

"You're a liar!"

Kenshin could feel the thread of patience breaking. His hands lightly gripped the sake cup. "I didn't want him to know."

"And because of that he is angry and bitter. Because of that choice he refuses to listen to you, but all he talks about is his mother."

"I'm ashamed of who I am, Master!" Kenshin shouted, trying to keep respect in his voice but failing miserably. The sake cup shattered under his grip. "I'm ashamed that I'm a manslayer, that I've murdered hundreds of men, that I killed innocent people, including my first love! Why would anyone wish to have that story told?"

Hiko only stared back for a moment. He bent over and poured more sake into his cup. "Now you finally understand a portion of your son's anger, Kenshin. Now you finally understand how Kenji feels. Your impatience with me is equivalent to Kenji's anger. Your selfishness is the one thing that failed you."

Kenshin's final hope of self-confidence failed him. "How can that desire be wrong?"

"Aren't you wondering why I haven't told you why I told Kenji everything? You're getting a taste of your own medicine. You hide your past by avoiding questions, speaking in somber tones, hoping that will make them forget. Your pride stiffens your spine, and you refuse to tell others something that will help them aid you. Your choice to not tell Kenji was my permission to answer any question he had. It isn't my fault that he knows - that blame rests with you."

Sunset in Tokyo was one of Kaoru's favorite times. Really, it had been since she was a little girl. She would sit on the awning, leaning her back against one of the pillars, and watch the edge of the sun sneak its way under the dojo roof, enjoying the colors that streaked across the sky. It made her feel like the sight was for her eyes only, some kind of secret the world wanted to share with her. The crickets would begin their melody as the sky turned black, then, her favorite addition, the fireflies would spread across the yard, blinking every so often, making it a game of sorts to find them. After their marriage, Kenshin often sat with her and enjoyed the evening. Kenji enjoyed it just as much as a boy.

Sitting now in the light of the fading sun, Kaoru began to ache. It was the strangest feeling deep inside her heart, something out-of-place in the usually peaceful evening. She looked into the sky and found a single star blinking in the distance right in the direction of Kyoto.

Kenshin...

Idly, she began to wonder if something had happened to him. She knew Yahiko could take care of both of them if needed, and Hiko could provide some shelter when they needed it. Misao coming to room with her eased her heart a little bit. Kenshin had made it to Kyoto, and everything was fine.

Then why was she so worried? Did she miss Kenshin's company that badly?

Or is it something more? Is something happening with Kenshin? Is he hurt somehow?

The question was more emotional than physical. She knew that at his age more techniques with the sword would wear his body down, but he wasn't injured. She was better able to sense his emotional hurt now that they had been married for so long, but how could she know from so far away? Why...?

Misao showed up moments later, wrapping a towel around herself, saying that the bath was free and Kaoru could use it.

"You need to use it, too!" she had said. "Let the warm water melt that fear out of your head! Nothing's wrong with Himura. Don't you think we would have heard something by now if something was?"

Misao had a point, but the fear remained. Even dunking her head under water, a long-time thought motivator of hers, didn't seem to make sense of it. Her head thumped against the back of the wall.

Kenji will come back with him. Maybe that's all I'm worried about. Hopefully Hiko isn't giving Kenshin a hard time. We've had enough hard times as it is. I'm just being silly. They're all fine and will be home soon.

Out the window she could see the single star again. The steam from her bath distorted it a bit, just like her thoughts were at the moment.

She sighed. "Kenshin..."

I hope everything is all right.

"Beef pots? Again?"

Yahiko made a face at Kenji. "Listen, you said that we could eat anywhere. You said you didn't mind when I chose the Shuribeko, so you can't complain."

"Yeah, but... you always have beef pots. Even when we go to the Akabeko you have beef pots."

"You aren't being picky, are you?"

Kenji stared at the steaming bowl of meat before him. "Considering that all I eat with Master Hiko is fish, I guess I shouldn't be."

"That's what I thought."

The two sat in silence. The atmosphere around the restaurant was the exact opposite of their small booth. Chopsticks loudly met plates and bowls while slurping could be heard almost as much as laughter. Yahiko couldn't think what kind of event or festival could be happening at that time. Kyoto didn't seem much different from the last time he was there.

"Is something going on in the city?" he asked, stuffing a piece of meat into his mouth.

"Nothing that I heard of. Then again, I never know much of what's going on. I'm stuck on that mountain with Master Hiko most of the time."

Yahiko scooped more of the stew into his bowl. "You do realize you should listen to your father, right?"

Kenji's face darkened. "Not if I don't have to."

"What if he came to explain himself?"

"Explain himself? What's that supposed to mean?"

"For why he didn't tell you everything about who he was."

"That's some serious explaining."

"But would you listen?"

Kenji set down his bowl and stared at the bubbling broth. "Only if he promised to tell me everything."

Yahiko put another piece of meat into his mouth. "Good."

"Why? Do you know something?"

"Only that Kenshin's wish is to take you back to Tokyo so that he can re-tell you everything you know about his past. You need to listen to him, Kenji. He truly wants to set everything straight."

"He didn't seem so adamant years ago."

"Oh come on, Kenji," Yahiko set down his bowl and gestured with his chopsticks. "Kenshin was going to tell you everything eventually. You've got to understand something about your dad; he does everything with his whole heart. I'm sure he had good intentions behind not telling you for so long."

"It gave you permission? My pride gave you permission?"

"Do you think yourself some kind of demon, the way you refuse to tell others about your past? Like you'll stain them in some way if they know? Their souls will be tainted? That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! The only way you'll be the demon you fear you are is if you keep sneaking around people just like you have in the past. No wonder the townsfolk called you the demon of the night - no one knew who you were, so no one could suspect you at all. You have the gentlest demeanor, a quiet soul, and yet you had a fury that was unmatched. Did you think that would spread somehow? You've spread it unknowingly!"

With every word Kenshin's mind cleared, and where anger once flooded, regret took its place. Hiko was right. Because he wouldn't answer Kenji's questions, because he avoided his son's curiosity, Kenji in turn grew frustrated and bitter, hating his father because he wouldn't talk to him. Not just about his past, but about other things. Because...

Because...

"I was never home."

Hiko's hard gaze never wavered when Kenshin spoke, his former pupil's voice strained and near breaking. "I took that job at the police station and traveled all over Japan." Kenshin exhaled, the weight of it hitting him. "I used that as my excuse."

"How?"

"I was too tired... too occupied." Kenshin's bent head went further, nearly touching his chest. "What have I done?"

"You understand now, don't you? How your selfishness was your excuse behind everything, and the only thing that could make you realize it was by someone telling your son what you never told him. Baka deshi!"

Kenshin looked at Hiko, suddenly the young boy begging for his master's help. His eyes were flooded in desperation. "How do I change this?"

Hiko stared momentarily at the broken sake cup before Kenshin's feet. He took a deep breath. "I'm going to give you three days to spend with Kenji. He'll return with you to Tokyo and you can do whatever you want with him. But if he comes back and tells me that you haven't spoken to him, I'll refuse to teach him the Hiten Mitsurugi style, which will only make him angrier at you. You can either tell him everything and mend things, however much Kenji allows them to be, or you can continue to live with his anger, knowing you had the chance to change things but refused."

Kenshin took a deep breath. Knowing how much he loved to keep a strict schedule, three days was very generous of Hiko. He stood from the stump and bowed. "I thank you for your wisdom, Master, and I apologize for my anger towards you earlier. I hope that I can take into consideration all that you've said."

Hiko only stared at Kenshin when he stood and bowed. As Kenshin passed by him, he reached out and grabbed his gi, obviously startling his pupil. "Tell him everything, Kenshin. I would recommend starting from the beginning and ending right here. Don't leave out any details. He'll know if you left them out."

Kenshin grinned slightly, knowing those words were as close as he'd get to an encouraging word from his master. "Thank you, Master."

He moved to leave, but Hiko was still holding on to his sleeve. "While you're up," he said, grabbing his sake jar and putting it in Kenshin's hand. "get me some more water from the river. I'm out of sake."

"Would you keep something like that from Tsubame?"

Yahiko gave an irritated sigh. "This is a little bit bigger than something I would say to Tsubame."

"It sounds like you said something that ticked her off."

Yahiko became noticeably uncomfortable. He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. "She found me taking some extra money from my savings so Kenshin and I could take the train here."

"That's not the first time, right?"

"The problem this time is that this was the last of my money. I was hoping to get her something to say I was sorry, but I can't now."

Kenji scoffed. "You're such an idiot."

Yahiko flushed. "Hey, this just proves that people aren't perfect, okay? Even though I admire him greatly, I know that your dad isn't perfect, which is why he's trying to fix everything now before 'now' becomes 'not an option'."

"What if I don't care?"

Yahiko stared back at his young friend, his mouth slightly open and his eyes filling with disbelief. "I can't believe you just said that. Are you really so bitter that you can't forgive him?"

Kenji's upper lip began to twitch, but with anger or sorrow Yahiko couldn't tell. "You let it happen to you sometime. Imagine if Okaa-san refused to teach you Kamiya Kasshin because it was too late in the day or she was too tired. Wouldn't you have ran away?"

"I might have." Kenshin would have stopped me before I got anywhere. "But that's not how she is."

"But it's exactly how my father acted! He never talked to me! He was always gone, Yahiko!"

"That was in the past! Think about what he's trying to do now, Kenji! He's trying to change everything that he did! Isn't that worth a try? Isn't that worth listening to him?"

Kenji paused, considering his answer. "Only if he tells me everything. I don't want to hear the rumors - I want to know the whole story from his mouth."

Yahiko lifted a cup to his mouth, holding above his lip. "Something tells me that's what you're going to get."

So... I'm sure that all of you are wondering why the heck this took so long for me to get out. Well, there's a number of reasons, the major one being that I'm an author who cares about characters, so much that I pressure myself to get them perfect if they're adapted. See, Hiko was one character I had hoped to never write, but then I had to do so for this story. So I spent hours thinking about this chapter and how it would go, looking through my RK DVD's to find out things about Hiko's character, and basically telling myself that the story wouldn't be right if Hiko wasn't right. After all, Hiko is a funny guy, but he's also complex. Really, it wasn't until last month that I said, 'Aw, heck with it.' and wrote something, thinking back to how Hiko spoke in riddles and confused poor Kenshin until he got through his pupil's thick head. Thus, after a six month delay, I finally wrote seven pages worth of a chapter. Honestly, I think I am my harshest critic, but I thank you for your reviews and your patience with me as I thought through all of this. I never ever imagined that I would get more than twenty reviews for this story (actually, I fainted after forty!). I'm blown away by your generosity and time spent on little 'ol me. :)

See you on the next chapter! (it won't take seven months... God willing...)