Chapter 6

Joe Morelli walked into the Blue Moon Bar and asked for a beer and a shot of Dewar's. It had been a long day and the case he caught had been a gruesome double homicide. He was in no rush to head home. Bob, his dog, was still at his mom's house- he left him there when he gave his mom the ring back. She looked at him with sad eyes but didn't ask him about what happened. After the other night she seemed afraid of the answer. He downed the beer and the shot and ordered another round.

His place was just so quiet now. And in the quiet he heard every word he had said to her, every angry insult, every cruel putdown. Stephanie Plum was haunting him. And the worst part was he knew he deserved it. And he knew all the gossips were saying he must have really screwed up because Stephanie had called off the wedding and left town. It wasn't yet widely known that she left with Ranger. God, could they be married already? He downed the shot and finished his beer and waved the barman over again.

Once everybody knew, he was not sure how he would be able to show his face around Trenton. God, what a mess. If he had just proposed before going to Italy… But would she have said yes then? Or had she only said yes because of the baby? The tightness in his chest eased after another shot.

This was hell. A hell of his own making.

"Les, Morelli's wasted again- what do you want us to do? We can't let him drive like this." Hal and Ram had Morelli duty that night.

Ranger's orders were clear- nothing was to happen to Morelli. It would blow back on Stephanie and Ranger wasn't having it. Lester ordered the men to load him in the RangeMan SUV and take him home, making sure to use the back door. And when they went back with his truck, it too should be brought to the back of the house… fewer eyes would see so fewer tongues would wag.

Morelli was in a bad way. Who would have thought he cared this much. Lester was amazed that nobody in the Burg had any details about what happened. He was sure Morelli would have been bashing Stephanie to any who would listen or whoring through all the females of Trenton. This drinking spree he was on was out of character. And that made him unpredictable and dangerous.

Valerie arrived at Joe's house to move Stephanie's things out bright and early the next day. But this was way too early. Joe was hung over and couldn't remember how he had gotten home last night. She must have used Stephanie's key to let herself in because he heard her call up the stairs. He remembered they had spoken just before he went to the crime scene yesterday, and he told her he was off and to come by any time. Fuck!

"I'll be down in a minute." Joe called down, as he searched for something clean to wear. He pulled on a pair of sweats that had no obvious stains and his last clean t-shirt.

He could smell the coffee brewing as he walked into his kitchen. He grabbed a cup and downed some aspirin.

"Are you ready to talk?" Valerie asked as she cleared whiskey bottles and beer cans up and started to wash the huge pile of dirty dishes.

"You don't have to do that."

"I know. But I thought you might need a friend, Joe, and I can also be a shoulder to cry on who won't ever say a word to anyone. I know you're hurting. I know you're drinking way too much. And I know how it feels to totally love someone and plan a whole life with them and think that you have all you need, only to watch them vanish and steal your whole life away when they go." Steve, Val's first husband, was not someone Valarie discussed with anyone.

Joe's tears started and she handed him the dish towel. "Dry while you talk." Valerie let him vent all his sadness and frustration, fury and rage about all the time he wasted, how he should have treated Stephanie better, and the huge disappointment that engulfed him.

"I love her and I do love that she is happy… I just hate that it's not with me. I hear the words I said to her at the doctor's office. It was so bad. God, I'm such an asshole."

"Joe, do you remember how my mom always was with Stephanie? Down about her job, her lack of prospects, and how Stephanie should be doing everything different?"

Joe nodded, remembering how he had so frequently agreed with Helen Plum about what was best for Stephanie.

"Well, she had a huge change of heart this summer. While Stephanie was in California, mom found a lump in her breast. And you know mom was always an anxious person?" Joe nodded again. "Well, you can imagine how it was. But she didn't want anyone to know. Grandma joined Stephanie to help with Dickie about a week before mom's biopsy, so she swore me to secrecy and made me take her to Sloan Kettering in New York."

"God Valerie, I had no idea."

"Nobody did, Joe, that's my whole point. Mom was so concerned with everything being the same and perfect, she could not share this scary thing with her own family, never mind her friends… and waiting for the results was hell. The doctor finally convinced mom to talk to a therapist. It was a game changer. She started mom on an anti-anxiety medication, and by the time the PET scan came back and showed her breast cancer was limited to that one spot and the lumpectomy was scheduled, mom was really managing so much better. She will need to be on medication for her breast cancer and she is continuing to see her therapist, but her anti-anxiety meds really helped her cope with everything." Valerie hesitated before continuing. "She was even happy for Stephanie and Ranger, which is surprising considering how crazy she went when I didn't marry Albert as soon as I found out Lisa was on the way."

"They aren't getting married?"

"Well, Ranger wants to, but Stephanie wants to be certain they are both sure - everything has been such a whirlwind. There is just so much going on." Valarie looked into Joe's eyes and saw they were glassy with tears. "Joe, you need to talk to someone. You might even benefit from medication, like my mom did. Your police union has some kind of Employee Assistance Program. It is a good place to start."

After the dishes and laundry was underway- Morelli had finally put in a washer and dryer when he though there would be a baby in residence- and his bed was made in clean sheets, Valarie pushed him to shower while she took out the trash. "Because you stink- even if nobody else wants to tell you. I'm ordering dinner from Pino's. You need to eat a few good meals instead of drinking them all."

Joe was drained and ready for the hot water. For the first time in days, he had only water with his meal. And the first stitch was placed in his now mending heart.