32 Productions Presents…
A Teen Titan Fan Fiction
The Teen Titans in…
"A Happy Decapitated Saint Day to You"
Chapter One
Titan Tower: Starfire's Room
Starfire's eyes fluttered open and she sat up, stretching. Another beautiful day! As she did everyday, she went to the window and opened it. …damn, it was raining. That would explain the lack of sunshine. Oh well. It was STILL a beautiful day! She took a deep breath and began her second daily morning ritual.
Starfire: GOOD MORNING JUMP CITY AND ALL WHO INHABIT IT!
Starfire put a hand to her ear and listened. Once again her call went unanswered, but she liked to think that someday someone would reply. As she gathered her clothes for the day she noticed her calendar had been circled. It was for today. She frowned and picked the calendar up from her dresser.
Starfire: Another holiday? Didn't we just celebrate the New Year?
She scratched her head. She had doodled on the calendar a few weeks ago in a state of boredom. She had drawn a little picture of herself and her friends over the label on the date in question. She should have paid better attention. No matter. She'd ask her friends. After getting ready for the day she went into the main room for breakfast.
: CUE THEME:
Titan Tower: Main Room
Beast Boy and Cyborg were arguing over what to eat…again. Oh if Starfire wasn't such a gentle person… Raven sat on the couch, book next to her. Apparently she had given up on reading until they stopped arguing. She sat with her arms folded, a sour expression on her face. Everything seemed normal…maybe it WASN'T a holiday.
Starfire: Good morning my friends!
Raven: (grumbling) Not from where I'm sitting it isn't.
Starfire ignored Raven's usual pessimism and grabbed a box of cereal. She emptied some of the contents into her mouth. Cyborg and Beast Boy stopped fighting and just stared. Raven immediately picked her book up and started reading in the blessed silence.
Cyborg: Uh…Star, you supposed to put milk on that.
Starfire must have been more tired then she thought. She grabbed a carton of milk from the fridge on gulped it down after the cereal. Beast Boy shrieked and grabbed the carton.
Beast Boy: Aw, man…my soy milk…
Starfire blinked and look closer at the carton.
Starfire: And so it is. My apologies, my friend.
Beast Boy: Now it's half empty…
Raven: And I thought you were an optimist.
Beast Boy stuck his tongue out at her. Raven didn't see it. Shade came in, fully awake which was a surprise. He was usually half asleep and tended to slug Beast Boy for no reason if he saw him. Since he was awake…maybe it WAS a holiday after all.
Cyborg: It's cool, BB. He's awake.
Beast Boy stood back up from ducking behind the counter. Shade looked confused at his behavior, but chalked it up to him being his usual self. He sat next to Raven, mumbling a good morning to everyone present. Raven saved her spot and put her book down. She ten turned and stared at Shade with an expectant expression. For a few moment, Shade didn't even notice. Of course having somebody stare at you is the sort of thing you feel after a while so he turned to look.
Shade: …what?
No reply. She just started drumming her fingers on the book's cover. The others wondered if they should help him with it, but decided it was best to leave them alone…besides, Raven wanted him to figure it out without being told.
Shade: What?
Raven sighed and rolled her eyes. It figured.
Raven: Don't you have anything to say to me?
Shade scratched his head.
Shade: Uh…not really. I said "good morning".
Obviously he needed help. Again, that figured. Letting out another sigh of exasperation, Raven started to try and coax the right answer out of him.
Raven: Shade, what's today?
Shade thought for a moment.
Shade: …Wednesday?
Beast Boy and Cyborg snickered. Starfire held back a giggle. She didn't want to laugh at her friend…no matter how funny he being clueless was. Raven turned her head slightly, silencing the pair. Well, not exactly silencing. They still made noises as they struggled to contain their laughter. Shade glared at them. Why wasn't anybody dropping him a hint!
Raven: No…well, yes, but what else is it?
Shade: …the 14th?
Raven: Yes…the 14th of what?
Shade: February?
Raven allowed herself a small smile. He was almost there. One more question…
Raven: Which is…?
Shade: …a Wednesday?
Beast Boy and Cyborg couldn't hold it back. Beast Boy actually fell over laughing. Starfire held her hands over her mouth before giving up. She knew it was cruel, but she couldn't help it. A Wednesday…oh, that was priceless.
Raven: Trigon damn you, you're an idiot. It's Valentine's Day!
Shade frowned and rubbed his chin.
Shade: …is that the one with the…
Raven: No, it's not the one with the rabbit. You always ask that.
Starfire squealed happily and clapped her hands. She remembered this one! The one with the cards, the candy, the…cards…what else was there? Was there anything else? It didn't matter. This was the one about love! That's what made it so glorious! Shade snapped his fingers.
Shade: Oh wait, I remember! This is the one about the guy who got his head cut off!
Raven: Yes, exactly…and we celebrate it with candy, cards, and other such gifts.
Shade: …why?
Raven: No idea.
Starfire chose to ignore the part about the decapitation. The door opened and Robin and Terra entered.
Terra: …totally digs you. I can tell.
Robin: She's like that with everybody. It's…
Robin was bowled over by Starfire as she caught him in a painful hug. His face started changing colors.
Starfire: A glorious Valentine's Day to you, Robin!
Robin squeaked something close to words. It was safe to assume that it was either a plea to be released, or a returned greeting.
Terra: Told him so.
Terra pecked Beast Boy on the check before opening the fridge to get something to eat. Raven turned back to Shade.
Raven: …you still haven't said it.
Shade: …said what?
Raven groaned and held her head.
Raven: Never mind. Azar, give me strength…
Shade looked a little concerned. Maybe Raven had a headache.
Shade: Are you okay?
Raven: No. I have an idiot for a boyfriend who has the attention span of a dead rat.
Shade wasn't sure what he did, but he was pretty sure he didn't deserve that. Before he could voice this belief, Terra spoke, still sifting through the fridge for something close to edible.
Terra: So, Gar…we need to clean this thing…what'd you get me?
Beast Boy choked on his tofu waffle. He downed what was left of his soy milk.
Beast Boy: A-what?
Terra looked up at him. Despite the pleasant smile on her face, she had a dangerous glint in her eyes.
Terra: You know…for Valentine's Day? A card? Maybe some candy? What'd you get me?
Beast Boy gulped. Her eyes narrowed.
Terra: You DID remember it was Valentine's Day, didn't you?
Beast Boy: Uh…yeah…hold on. I left it…in my car.
Beast Boy walked out the door. Terra stood there for a moment before it hit her.
Terra: Wait a second…HIS car! He doesn't have a car!
Terra ran after Beast Boy. The others followed. They might need to stop Terra from punching Beast Boy's lights out. Terra was outside, shouting after a green bird that was flying away.
Terra: And you better come back with something nice! I want flowers! Or jewelry! Or perfume!
Cyborg: …so what'd you get him?
Terra opened her mouth then her eyes widened.
Terra: …excuse me.
She tore a section of the ground off and rode toward the city. She wasn't sure what was open at ten in the morning, but she had to find something.
Shade: …uh…are we supposed to buy them presents? This is…my second Valentine's Day?
Robin: Well…you don't HAVE to, really…
Shade wiped imaginary sweat from his forehead.
Shade: Phew. That's good, because I'm broke.
A vein bulged on Raven's forehead and she clenched her teeth.
Raven: You…you…
With those well thought out words, Raven turned and stormed back into the tower. Shade sweatdropped.
Shade: …she's mad at me again, isn't she?
Cyborg: Nothing gets past you.
Shade: Argh…! What am I supposed to do? I'm utterly broke! I spent all my money on trading cards!
The others looked at him like he was crazy. He shrugged.
Shade: Robin told me to get a hobby.
Robin: I didn't mean spend all your money on it.
Shade went back into the tower, mumbling about how hard it was to make Raven happy sometimes.
Robin: …I wish I had a girlfriend…
Starfire: AAAAAARGH!
Starfire flew into the tower, frustrated. What did it TAKE with this boy! Robin stared after her, confused.
Robin: What's her problem?
Cyborg: I dunno.
Melissa Dratter's Apartment
Melissa sighed as she cleaned her handgun. Another Valentine's Day… It was strange. The day usually held no meaning to her at all, but this time it was different. She felt a strange sensation. She had felt it before, but it was so long ago she couldn't remember what it was or when she felt it. Suddenly it hit her.
Melissa: …I'm…lonely? No…I can't be lonely. I can't be anything…
Her head began to pound. She dropped the gun (which obviously wasn't loaded) and held massaged her temples.
Melissa: Have to calm down. Remain focused…make the pain stop…think about this logically. This is just a problem that I need to solve. Once that's done, I can get back to work. No more of a problem then paying the rent on time. It's okay…
Slowly the headache faded away. There was no time for this. She had a job to do. She'd worry about her…loneliness later. She needed to pick up her equipment.
The Mall
Jinx sighed, carrying her bags almost along the floor. She was depressed. The little tryst with Kid Flash was over. Turns out she couldn't control her impulses as a criminal. It was just a little thing. Jinx just wanted to relieve the urge to steal by taking a ring. No big deal. She'd be lucky to get more then a couple hundred for it if she ever wanted to sell it. Unfortunately Kid Flash caught her. She returned the ring, humiliated, angry, and wanting to do SOMETHING wrong badly. It wasn't money she wanted. It wasn't fame or even notoriety anymore that she sought. It was the thrill. That heart pounding sensational thrill that could only come from knowing that she had broken a law. She had tried…she really did. She tried to relieve the need with smaller things. Jay walking for example. It didn't work. Jinx sniffled. Damn, she was going to cry her contacts out. She had to disguise herself the best she could. The contacts hid her cat-like pupils and pink eyes and she wore a brown wig on her head (she didn't put her hair up, obviously). She had loved Kid Flash…she really did. But he was too much a good guy for her.
Jinx: Let's face it, Jinxy old girl. You're a bad egg. It's not about the "bad luck". It's not about respect. You've just been doing it so long you can't stop. Like a drug addiction, you need your criminal fix. It's pathetic.
She sat down on a bench and rested her chin on the palm of her hand as she leaned against the arm of the bench. A strangely familiar girl stepped in front of her.
Girl: Hey…I know you.
Jinx: (mumbling) No you don't.
She sat next to her and whispered into her ear.
Girl: You're Jinx of the HIVE Five.
Jinx glared at her.
Jinx: Would you le…
Suddenly she realized where she had seen her from. She was a dead ringer for Starfire! That hair style! Those bright green eyes! All that was missing was the ridiculously sized chest and a lack of eye whites…well, that face was a TAD different.
Jinx: …who are you?
Girl: Gremlin A.I. System Model Number Nine. You can call me G-9 for short.
Jinx raised an eyebrow. The girl simply smiled pleasantly. Despite herself, Jinx laughed.
Jinx: What, like a robot?
G-9: Not exactly. First I was a highly sophisticated AI program in a super computer. Later I was given small drone bodies for work around the "house"…so to speak. After that I was given a humanoid bi-pedal robotic body to occupy in my spare time. The image is a hologram.
She knocked on her head. There was the distinct sound of metal on metal with each impact. Jinx stared with her jaw hanging open. She reached out and touched her face. It was warm, but hard like metal. Her hand drew back sharply.
Jinx: Wow. You look so human…
G-9: Thank you. I came here to get something for my creator. Valentine's Day and all. Nobody else ever gets him anything, so I might as well do it. It's a little weird since I also get him things on Father's Day…but that's beside the point. So what are you so down about?
Jinx huffed.
Jinx: Why should I tell you anything?
G-9: Because I can rip that wig off your head faster then you can move away. I've already computed every possible action you could make, from just sitting there and letting me do it, to back flipping, sending a hex at the tree behind us to make it hit me, and running out that door.
Jinx frowned. That WAS what she was going to do if she tried to take her wig off.
G-9: I'm not going to tell anyone, Jinx.
Jinx: What do you care?
G-9: In all the footage of you that I have on record, you're always smiling. You were a cheerful sort of villain. I find it to be…upsetting to see you sad.
Jinx: You're weird.
G-9 smiled and shrugged.
G-9: I prefer to think of myself as just being very advanced.
Jinx: …you're not going to tell anyone?
G-9: Are you suggesting that machines gossip?
Jinx laughed and shook her head.
Jinx: I guess not. …I…broke up with somebody recently. We had a bit of a falling out after I stole a necklace worth two thousand dollars.
G-9: Why would that matter?
Jinx: He was a superhero.
G-9 sweatdropped.
G-9: Oh.
Jinx: …yeah. Dumb, isn't it? …I really liked him. He was sweet. He showed me that I was worth something, you know? …better then the asshole I dated before him.
G-9: Hmm…seems to me that you dwell a little too much on the past. Heartbreak is tough to get over, but if you don't try to have fun, it's even harder.
Jinx: How can I? I dropped EVERYTHING for him. Now I'm alone. They'll never trust me again.
G-9 raised an eyebrow.
G-9: They trusted you?
Jinx: …well, I guess trusted isn't the right word. But betraying them for a super hero? That's different then just backstabbing somebody.
G-9: …I have to get going. This body wasn't designed for prolonged usage. …it'll be a little while before that one is ready.
G-9 got up and started to walk away. She turned around.
G-9: I'm sorry I couldn't be a further help to you.
Jinx: It's okay. Didn't expect you to help anyway.
She sighed and got up.
Familiar Voice: Didn't think I'd see you here…
She dropped the bag, her eyes wide. Jinx spun, fists clenched in anger. Yes, it was him. Sonic stood behind her, hands in his pockets. He coughed a little. He looked somewhat…sickly. Not that she cared. In truth he was dying, but that wasn't the point.
Jinx: That bastard! He has the balls to try and talk to me after what he did! And look at him! Trying to look cool with his hands in his pocket! Is he trying to impress me or something!
Sonic: I can tell by your expression that you're still mad at me.
Jinx punched him. Surprisingly, he went down right away. He wasn't out cold or anything, he just was knocked over. She didn't think she could punch THAT hard. After all, he had fought bigger people then her. People gather around and stared. Jinx was in no mood.
Jinx: What the f are you staring at! This isn't a show! Move it!
The crowd dispersed slowly. Sonic slowly got to his feet.
Sonic: Damn, my injection is wearing off… Yeah…still mad.
He coughed again, harder this time. The cough was actually from a cold, but the sudden movements of his body that it caused aggravated his condition, giving him incredible pain. Jinx's eyes narrowed. Something was very wrong here.
Jinx: What do you want?
Sonic: …certain things have come to my attention, one of which being that I won't be alive much longer. Guess you don't have to kill me yourself after all…unless you want to. Then by all means, go ahead. …I just wanted to say I was sorry first.
Jinx's eyes narrowed.
Jinx: We're taking this some place private, Sonic. Come with me.
Jinx picked up her bag and walked out. Sonic followed, coughing now and again.
Jinx: Cover your mouth, pig.
Jinx was so focused on her plans with Sonic (meaning how she was going to murder him) that she didn't notice the familiar green boy leaning against the wall, a worried expression on his face. He spent a lot of dough on a video game a few days ago. So saying, he didn't have much in the way of funds of which to purchase Terra's present.
Beast Boy: Think, Garfield, THINK! What do you get a stone geomancer for Valentine's Day? A sander? Nah, that would piss her off. Earrings are out…a decent ring or necklace would be too expensive. Wait a second…
A grin spread across his face. He knew what to get her! He raced into the card shop. Oh, she was going to love this!
END OF PART ONE